Hi y'all! This is my first fanfic ever. The story's about Edward and Bella (of course). Bella decides she wants to go back to High School for the first time after she was changed in Breaking Dawn. I know Newborn strength only lasts a couple of months according to Stephenie Meyer, but self-control's only gained after a few decades so keep that in mind when your read this story. It starts as a very happy and light story, but it won't stay that way. So if you think this is just another lovey-dovey story then think again.. It will take a while to work up to the darker part, but it will happen.

A/N: I'm desperately looking for someone who is willing to beta this story.. So if you're interested in doing so then send me a pm or leave a comment. Thanks!

As to this chapter: it's the beginning of the first day Bella. It's written BPOV.

I'm also planning to write a one shot scene featuring Jacob and Renesmee asking Edward and Bella if they're allowed to go to La Push for a couple of days. So, for everyone who wonders where Jacob and Renesmee are during this story .. They're on a visit in Forks/La Push.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. (I only wish I did ...) They all belong to Stephenie Meyer (God, I love that woman xD).

Note: I now have a Twitter-account. I will use it to try to keep you guys updated with the developments of the chapters I'm working on.

twitter . com/#!/SleepingLullaby

BPOV

"Bella, you don't have to do this. There's no hurry," Edward said for what seemed like the millionth time since I'd decided to go back to school.

I sighed mentally.

It had only been 5 years since my transformation. Too short to have a perfect self-control. At least for the average newborn vampire. Newborns are known for their impossible strength, but most of all they're feared for their lack of restraint. For they are so engaged with their quest for human blood, so obsessed with their never ending thirst, that there's no reasoning with them. They are dangerous. Because once they snap, they become predators and they'll do everything to drain the blood from their prey … But I had been different. I had proven that statement wrong before. Could I - would I - be able to tame the animal in me when I smelled the delicious scents of all those human teenagers today ? Or would I go for the kill when I could feel their pulse on my tongue ? Flames arose in my throat as I remembered the mouth-watering scent I picked up the very first time I went hunting with Edward - leaving me thirsty. I swallowed audibly - forcing back the venom that filled my mouth. I quickly tore my thoughts away from that memory. I could handle this. Instead I concentrated on giving Edward a reply.

"Edward, will you stop worrying about this, please? You're driving me insane," I said softly.

He looked at me intently, not paying any attention to the road as usual.

"I'm sorry, love. It wasn't my intent to drive you insane. Not now at least." He smiled my beloved crooked smile. "I'm not worrying, though. I know you can handle this. You've got an abnormal amount of self-control for someone of your age. I only want to be sure you really want to go through with this. It's just …" he paused, choosing the right words. "It's just that I don't want you to be unhappy," he continued slowly, pronouncing every word with great care. His eyes stood apologetically. He raised his hand to my face and stroked my cheek tenderly.

I knew what he meant. It wasn't that he was worrying about me losing control. Not at all. He trusted me. Even when Carlisle suggested to wait another year Edward told him he was absolutely sure I was able to contain myself. He had more faith in me than I had in myself. Perhaps more than I deserved. He was only afraid of what would happen to me when I unintentionally hurt a person. Because it was just so easy to hurt a human. They were so fragile. It would only take one bad move to shatter all their bones, one unintended touch, to kill them. And, if I somehow did hurt someone, I would be disgusted with myself. There was no doubt about that. The fear that the mythical creature inside me would take control of me was always present. Edward knew this. He knew I was scared as well as he knew that I would be miserable if I wasn't able to rein the monster in. He didn't want me to be unhappy. The words rang in my mind. Oh, Edward! How I loved him! Ever so caring. Ever so perfect. Every day my love for him grew. He was my heart. He was everything. I looked into his bright golden eyes, feeling a deep desire awaking in my body. Where his hand touched my cheek, my skin was burning. I turned my head slightly so I could kiss his hand.

"I know," I breathed against his skin.

He smiled at me lovingly and in one fast move he lowered his head to brush his lips against my forehead.

"I don't understand why it is so important to you, though," he said as he pulled in on the empty parking lot - we were extremely early. I rolled my eyes. Of course he didn't understand. He didn't know what it was like to constantly feel like the weakest link. He had no idea what it felt like when you're entire family was watching your every move. Though they didn't say it aloud, I knew everyone was always concerned about me, about how I was doing. I didn't have to be a mind reader for that. It was easy to see when they were silently talking to Edward about me, asking him questions about how I was getting used to my new life. I could almost feel their thoughts as they opened their mind for him. And I hated it. I still didn't like to be the centre of attention and I hated the way they looked at me, as if they expected me to snap at any moment. Edward always tried to answer them without letting me notice it. Perhaps he would have succeeded with that plan when I was still human, but now I was vampire, he had no hope of keeping me in the dark. The slightest nod, the littlest twitching of his mouth, the fastest movement of his long powerful fingers, I saw them all. It probably had something to do with the fact that I was always watching him as well. But that was beside the point. How did I tell this to Edward ? I knew they were only worried about me and that they had every reason to feel that way. After all, it had only been 5 years.

"I don't like … feeling … weak," I stumbled - biting my lip.

He rolled his eyes and turned to face me. "Bella, how could you possibly think of yourself as weak ? How could you possibly believe anyone thinks you're weak? I think you've already proven that you outshine us all when it comes to self control during those dreadful first years."

"Still, everyone keeps acting like I'm a freak!" I said irritated, throwing my hands up in the air.

"No one's acting like you're a freak, Bella. They're just worried about you. That's all." He placed his hand back on my cheek, making my annoyance instantly disappear. "You cannot blame them for loving you," he said softly - his golden eyes warm.

I inhaled the sweet scent that came from his skin - letting it calm me.

"I don't. I'm not blaming them. It's just that …" I paused looking at his perfect features, looking in those beautiful eyes, watching this dearly beloved creature. I didn't exactly know how to continue. I frowned. I didn't even know what I wanted to say. Tenderly he caressed my face with his fingertips.

"Yes?" His voice invited me to go on.

I sighed. "Edward, you don't know what it's like to be the weakest link."

He stared at me oddly and then something flickered through his eyes. Before I knew it he was doubled up with laughter. I just sat there, eying him shocked. I repeated my words in my head, but I didn't hear anything that could have caused this roar of laughter. After a while he started to try to steady his breath. He looked at me through his long black lashes, still smiling a wide smile and snickering every so often. I raised one eyebrow and snorted. Only making him laugh even harder with my facial expression. I started to lose my temper and was getting pretty angry. How could he think this was funny ? I felt adrenaline running through my veins. My thoughts clouded as flames of anger licked my mind.

"Edward, this isn't funny," I fumed, my hands clamped into tight fists.

He stiffed and stopped at once, examining my face to see whether or not I was about to snap. As I realised what he was doing I immediately got my emotions back into place. I dropped my eyes, ashamed that I had been so close to snapping when I had just argued with Edward that I didn't want everyone to look at me as if I indeed was an extraordinarily bloodthirsty vampire who needed constant checking. This didn't particularly help my cause. We were silent for a long time. The only sounds were coming from the now arriving students. I could hear their mumblings effortlessly as they passed our Volvo, chatting about irrelevant things. I didn't lift my eyes from my lap, but I could feel his stare upon me.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he whispered in a sad voice.

"What are you sorry for? It is me who should be apologizing …" I looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to be so abrupt."

He cupped my face with his soft hands. "Bella, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at what you said. It was just so unexpected. So ridiculous. As if I was able to contain myself right after I was changed. No. I was … I was wild. God, if you could only see how I used to be when I was a newborn … I doubt you would still love me."

Edward weak? Edward out of control? That didn't sound possible to me. He smiled a little at my astonishment.

"You give too much credit love. I was terrible … Carlisle had a very hard time keeping me under control as dealing with the strength and temper of a newborn was as new to him as it was to me. It's not exactly a part of my life which I'm proud of. But it was there. And you, Bella..." he paused, his burning eyes locking with mine. "You, my love. You are so much better than me, than how I was and even better than I am now and ever will be."

I couldn't find words to react. This wasn't making any sense. I simply couldn't imagine Edward without his self control. I tried, though. I tried to picture him with blood red eyes and an animal like gaze. Wild and untamed ... I came up empty.

"You truly have no idea of how I was, do you? Perhaps, it's for the best." He smiled crookedly.

I smiled in return. His thumbs were caressing my cheeks which made me feel wonderful. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feeling. When my body started aching for his I sighed and opened my eyes again. Only to be surprised to find his face separated from mine by mere inches. His eyes were closed, his nose almost touching mine and a content smile was playing on his lips. Suddenly the urge to touch him became overwhelming. Even after 5 years the thought of ever getting enough of him was non-existing. Without giving the permission to move, my hand placed itself on his mouth and started to trace his lips. He opened his eyes slowly - smouldering with lust and desire - and kissed my fingertips. Even this little touch sent shivers through my entire body and it made me want to feel his lips pressed against every part of my skin. I lifted my hand from his mouth and braided my fingers into his hair - never leaving his eyes. Suddenly it was very silent. No more noise of chatting students, just the sound of our deep breathing. Slowly, our heads started to move closer until our lips were on each other.

From the second they met, my thoughts disappeared. I could no longer remember what we had been talking about. I couldn't even remember where and who I was. The only thing that was certain, was that I was here with Edward. His hands had left my face. One of them grasped my hair - locking our mouths to each other - as the other travelled down my back - making me melt into his shape. Once again I was grateful that I didn't need oxygen, for I never wanted this to end. Edward leaned back into his seat, pulling me with him. I awkwardly climbed over the gear-control - afraid to hurt it - and climbed onto his lap. I putted one leg to each side of him and deepened the kiss. He growled and grabbed my waist. Parts of our earlier conversation started to flicker through my mind and it occurred to me that the only moments Edward was wild were moments like now, when he was with me like this. That knowledge made me feel strangely proud. I beamed at the idea of him not being able to resist me, of him being affected by my very presence, as I knew he was. I loved that I wasn't the only one.

I started to regret that I hadn't just listened to Carlisle and stayed home so Edward and I would never have had to leave the bedroom. I was wondering if we could leave the parking lot again, unnoticed when I felt something vibrating against my leg. But I didn't give it much attention as I felt how Edward's soft hands had disappeared under my shirt and were now tracing patterns on the bare skin of my back. Second after second more of my control faded. I knew I was losing myself. Getting lost in him. It was only a matter of time before I would really attack him. Though I was pressed so close to his body that a human would have been crushed were she to be in my place, it wasn't close enough for me. I wanted to be one with him. To breath by his breath, to think his thoughts, to speak his voice. We were still too far away from each other. It was then that the trilling started again, only this time it was accompanied by an annoying buzzing sound. Edward shifted slightly beneath me. No ! My thoughts were screaming. Please, don't stop … At least, not yet. This was the perfect antidote against all of my worries and it just felt so right. I didn't want it to end. I wanted our embrace to last for eternity, but then again eternity seemed to be too short. I opened my eyes a little and I was just in time to see him pull a little flash of silver out off his pocket - the source of the noise and vibrating. I immediately recognised it as his cell phone.

"Bella," he mumbled inaudibly against my lips. I growled loudly, but left his lips. Only to assault his neck. I heard him trying to catch his breath before he answered the call.

"What?" he hissed frustrated.

"You don't have to get angry with me, Edward. I just wanted to warn you that if you two are going to go on with what you're doing, you'll never make it to school," Alice's voice chimed.

I was kissing the corner of his mouth when a defiant smile appeared on his lips. "So we miss a day," he said as his eyes locked with mine.

"Believe me, I wouldn't be bothering you if that were the only problem … But, Edward, you're never going to get home unnoticed. Everyone has already seen the two of you sitting in your car. Don't you agree that it's a little early for the rumours to start already?"

I was kissing his neck sluggishly, working my way towards the hollow under his ear. Edward was fighting to suppress a moan, but I could feel the trembling in his throat.

"Edward?" Alice sounded a little worried.

He had to take a deep breath a couple of times before he was able to speak. "Alice, I find it rather difficult to think clearly. I'm pretty occupied at the moment." I couldn't help but smile against his skin.

There was a little pause on the other side of the line. "I see." I had no idea whether she was figuratively speaking or literally and I didn't want to think about it too much. Instead I licked his earlobe. This time he wasn't able to suppress a low moan. The sound sent shivers through my spine.

"Edward, stop that thought! No, you don't have time! School starts in 5 minutes and we…" She couldn't finish her sentence as Edward had snapped his cell shut. He threw the phone in the empty seat next to him and placed his hand on my back again. A seductive growl built in his chest as he caught my lips with his again. We kissed each other ruthlessly.

A little while later, Edward pulled back slowly. He took his hands from my waist and put them on either side of my face, pushing me away. I didn't like that at all. I feverishly tried to reach for his lips, but he was too strong. I stuck out my tongue and ran it quickly over his lips before he pulled even farther away. A huge smile lit up his face. He knew well enough how much my body craved for his.

"Bella, love, I'm sorry but I need to know. Do you want to go to school or do you want to take this home?"

I was fighting to clear my mind. But it was hard to focus while every fibre of my being was yelling to go home. I decided it was impossible to think when I was still this close to him. So I took his hands off my face and leaned away from him. I thought about it. Going to school versus spending the day alone with Edward. It was a lost cause, a fight I could never win. I was about to tell him to turn the car and head home when I suddenly saw my daughter's face before my eyes. Renesmee. The picture of her helped me to think clearly and, somehow, I managed to remember how important it was to me to show everyone that they didn't have to worry. This was something I simply had to do. I took a deep breath in attempt to tame the raging desire in me and pressed my eyes shut, extinguishing the flames. Edward must have noticed what I was trying to do. For he said: "School it is then." He smiled, but I could see a little flash of disappointment in his eyes which made me laugh.

"School it is," I repeated as he pulled me close in a hug, tucking my head under his chin. We sat together in silence. As often, we didn't need to speak. This was just one of those peaceful moments when words were unnecessary.

"I think it's time for us to go," he whispered after a while. I nodded and moved from his lap to the empty seat next to him. I took a deep breath to calm myself and opened the door.

It was then that the delicious scents crushed me. I shrank back against the car door as my throat started to burn furiously. Edward was at my side in an instant - ignoring the fact that he should walk at human speed.

"Bella, are you OK?" his voice sounded concerned.

I nodded, not able to talk right away - I was too overwhelmed.

"I'm sorry, love ... I know it hurts," he said - the pain evident in his voice. Pain for my pain. He placed his hand on my throat -trying to sooth the flames.

"It's fine, Edward. I just didn't expect it to be so fierce." I took his hand and intertwined our fingers. He squeezed my hand.

"It's still not too late to go back …" he suggested with a seductive smile.

I looked towards the school building and sighed. "Yes, it is."

He took my face in his hands. "Bella, you're going to do fine."

"That's the plan."

"I know you will." In his eyes I could read his certainty of his words.

I threw my arms around him and laid my head on his chest, breathing in his scent as it once again helped me to calm down. "I love you," I whispered.

He hugged me closely and I felt his lips touch my hair. "I love you too. More than anything."

I would have been happy to stand there forever. Never leaving his arms. Never leaving his touch. Never leaving him. This was the place where I was truly happy. Whenever I touched him I felt home. I felt save. I was almost swimming in his scent. It was everywhere around me. Almost overpowering the human ones.

"I'm glad you two have decided to join us," Rosalie's ironic voice came out of nowhere. "Now we finally can get this over with and collect our school schedules."

She, Emmett, Jasper and Alice were walking towards us. Edward let go off me, but took my hand in his.

Alice ran to my side. "Oh, Bella! We're going to have the first hour together. Which is great, because I just had this vision of this dress which I think … No … Which I know will be stunning on you. So we can pick a date to go shopping and …" Alice kept rattling as we headed to the school office but I soon tuned her out. No matter how much I loved her, sometimes she was just a bit too much.

I couldn't exactly remember my first day in Forks High School. It was all very clouded as most of my human memories were, but somehow this all felt like a déjà vu. This walking to the school office and all those new faces staring at me - wondering who I was. And yet again, it wasn't the same at all as I hadn't been holding hands with the most wonderful person in this world back then and as my world now finally made sense to me. Everything was right. Everything was how it was supposed to be. I had found my place. Here beside Edward and with my family. A huge grin lit up my face and Edward squeezed my hand, sharing my happiness. I smiled up at him, locking my eyes with his.

Yes, everything was alright.

What did you think ? I hope you liked it. The next chapter will be written EPOV.

Please, Please, Please review ! It takes so little time to leave one !