AN~ Hi minna! This is my fifth posted story! Can you believe it? I
cant. Well, okay when I wrote this late late last night I was in a
very dark place and feeling extremely morbid. Yesterday was the 02
season premiere and in the second episode Yamoto didn't seem like he
was doing to very well and I took a gander at why. Remember I was in a
very dark place when I wrote this. It may not be all that depressing as
im making it out to be, it probably isn't. But anyway please enjoy and
review me if you would be so kind.
Emptiness, that's what it was.
"So Yamoto. Which song you wanna go over first?" Sieysa asked
from the back of the small garage. The blonde set his school bag down
on the floor and walked over to his band mates. Tomorrow they had a
gig, a very big one too and practice was what the band needed badly.
Yamoto considered his options as he took his seat on a small stool next
to Chris, the bass player and Van, the other guitarist.
"Uh, how about that American song?" he said as he reached down
to get his guitar. Sieysa nodded and tapped the snare drum once to get
the band into position. Yamoto checked his amp and mic as the music
began.
"Im on my time
if everyone
i have very bad posture
sit and drink penny royal tea
scare the life out thats inside of me
sit and drink penny royal tea
im anemic royal tea
im so tired and i cant sleep
im anemic royal tea
im liar and a thief
im anemic royal tea
im on warm milk
and lacitives
cherry flavored antacids
sit and drink penny royal tea
scare the life out thats inside of me
im gonna drink many royal tea
im anemic royal tea"
Yamoto stopped, satisfied with the song. He glanced at each of
his band members who had approval written in their features. If only
they knew, Yamoto thought and glanced down at his feet. If only they
could understand the deeper meaning to that song and how it affected
him. How close he had come to experiencing that song in real life. But
no they never would, no one ever would because Yamoto refused to let
them. He refused to let the past over take him.
(AN~ For all you who dont know, the song Yamoto's band just played,
Penny royal Tea, is about suicide by pills i do believe. Well thats
how i take it to mean, for y'all it could be just about some guy
drinking tea cuz he sick, but because its a Nirvana song I highly doubt
that since most, if not all, of their songs have some shady depth to
them. )
"Cool. That sounded good." Chris piped up and smoothed his
black hair out with one hand. Yamoto, Sieysa, and Van smiled at his
comment and readily agreed.
"We should defiantly do that song tomorrow."
"Yea, I think so too. Man Yamoto, have you got the perfect
voice for that."
"We need to keep going guys..." Yamoto chided them, but
silently grinning from their compliments. It was rare to hear them
from anyone but these guys.
"Right. How about The Big Come Down next?" Van asked.
"Kay. Ready, one, two, three." Sieysa counted off and the
rehearsal marched on.
"There is a game i play
try to make myself okay
try so hard to make the pieces all fit
smash it apart
just for the fuck of it
bye bye
get it get back to the bottom
bye bye
the big come down isnt what you wanted?
bye bye
find a place with the failed and forgotten
bye bye
isnt that really what you wanted now?
there is no place i can go
there is no place i can hide
it feels like it keeps coming from the inside
there is a hate that burns within
the most desperate place i have been
try to get back to where im from
the closer i get the worse it becomes
there is no place i can go
there is no place i can hide
it feels like it keeps coming from the inside"
Yamoto stood, grabbed his bag and left without a single word.
His band was left sitting there stunned that their singer had just
walked out on them.
Taichi watched Yamoto walk very very slowly from the street to
the park they were gathered at. He hadnt seen him in a while and boy
did Yamoto's appearance shock Taichi. His blonde hair had grown out
with not as many spikes as before, and his face seemed to have age way
past his 15 years. Whatever had happened before the digiworld, had
absolutely come back to haunt Yamoto after his return.
Taichi remembered how Yamoto had always been the loner in the
group of eight, how he always had that tough look on his face. But
Taichi could also remember the sadness in his eyes and deeply Yamoto
had tried to hide it. Now the tough look was almost gone, replaced by
a face that had seen too many horrible things before its time.
"Hey Yamoto!" Taichi called. Everyone looked up to see the
last member approach.
"Hi." His face a stony mask to the turmoil raging inside.
Emptiness, was it really his only companion?
"Say hi to dad for me will you Yamoto?" Takeru asked his
brother after the meeting was over. Yamoto nodded, it was the only
sentence the two had spoken that entire night, no, week.
"Yea sure Takeru." Then he retreated to the solitude of the
darkness.
Six faces watched and worried that something was horribly wrong
with their friend. One face didn't seem to care.
Yamoto walked up and down the streets of Tokyo, not wanting to
go home to his, more than likely, drunk dad. Images of better times
flashed through his head, some making Yamoto wince but he had learned
to deal with these trips down memory lane. His band was Yamoto's only
escape from the harsh realities of life but even that was no longer
working. For crying out loud, he had left in the middle of a rehearsal
because two songs had gotten to him. That had never happened before.
"Yama." a voice called on the wind and Yamoto stopped and
whirled around to see Takeru running toward him.
"Takeru?'" he asked surprised because his brother was no longer
11 as he had been just an hour ago at the meeting, no the Takeru
hugging him fiercely was 7 years old.
"Yama I love you so much!" The blonde child said over and over
to Yamoto, still latched onto him in a bear hug. This Takeru was the
one Yamoto had wished he could see again for so long, this Takeru did
not hate him yet. Then suddenly the boy in Yamoto's arms vanished,
leaving Yamoto stunned and feeling utterly defeated.
He sank to the pavement, sobbing, praying with his entire soul
for Takeru to love him once more. Of course Yamoto knew this was in
vain but he would do anything to erase to rift between him and his
brother.
Emptiness, its not all that bad he decided
Takeru snorted at his brothers back and turned around to see
the other six digidestined staring at him.
" I don't know whats up with you Takeru. Your brother looked
like he was about to kill himself back there and you dont look like
you even care." Taichi was just inches away from Takeru's face. The 11
year old glanced down at his prothestic arm and then back to Taichi.
"He abandoned me."
THE END
AN~ Wow, there its done! Please let me know what you think! Oh the
first song that Yamoto's band played was Penny Royal Tea by Nirvana
and the second was The Big Come Down by Nine Inch Nails. If you didn't
understand the end of the fan fiction please email me at
Manda1149@aol.com and I can hopefully answer your questions.
Thank-you all for reading and please go read my best friends fan fics
Fallen Angel and Anime Goes Nuts. They are both great!
Sayanara minna-san!
Manda