Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or Mattel, so I'm pretty sure that I don't own G.I. JOE or the X-Men. Virus and Leathersuit are also not mine. They belong to L13701E.
Dedication: to L13101E, who kept getting on me to write this silly oneshot.
So, while Andi and Steve were out on the town in chapter 53 of "Learning To Breathe", they decided to stop by the pet store. Can you say trouble? I knew ya could.
The Problem with Pigs
Two teenagers and their dog strolled along the busy streets of Chicago's southside. Both earned many bruises in their fight with the colorful crusader from Cleveland, Illinois, Kid "The Kid of Rock" Razor. To the unsuspecting passerby, they looked like normal kids. The boy stood close to 5'10" and was nowhere near done growing yet. He had black-and-green-striped hair, gold eyes. He also stayed in a two-pace circle around his female companion—a girl nearly as tall as he who had deep blue eyes and blond hair with black bangs. What the public never suspected was that Steven Garrett had green scales and a gator's snout-and-tail. Or that his friend, Andrea "Andi" Creed, was really a blue-scaled hydrokinetic shapeshifter with webbed hands and feet.
Nonetheless, the mutant teen terrorists known as Leathersuit and Atlantis were sightseeing when the dog—a wolfish gray mutt named Laredo—stopped to look at a window.
"Come on, Raid, we need to move." Andi said, turning to move her dog. He looked up at her, whined, then stared at the building before him.
"Well, at least we know he can find other dogs." Steve sighed, looking at the sign (Patti's Pet Palace) above the door.
"Should we stop?" Andi looked up at the boy. He shrugged.
"Why not? Walking in this city bites anyway." Both of them walked through the door and began looking around.
"Look at all of these dogs and cats." Andi said. "And they're all so small."
"Yeah, but don't get one without some kind of certificate from a vet." Steve said. "There's been a puppy-mill problem here lately."
"I know." The girl said wryly as her dog trotted over to a cage and began whining for her attention. "Good lord, what is it now?" She said, following the leash to the dog's new spot. Right in front of a pig pen.
"A pig?" Steve blinked. "Is it even legal to keep pigs in the city?"
"Potbellies." Andi nodded. "Any other kind and you have to get a livestock permit. Need a permit for all kinds of goats, though."
"We are not getting a goat."
"Of course not. This place doesn't sell them, and I wouldn't buy one from a pet shop anyway."
"Fine, but why does your dog want pigs."
"Not all the pigs. A pig." She corrected, gesturing to a small brown piglett who'd come up next to the fence. Laredo sniffed the little thing for a moment, then began to lick it. "Aww. She's such a cute little pig. Yes you are."
"Andi, you're starting to scare me." Steve raised an eyebrow. She laughed. "Besides, how do you know it's a she?"
"Bryan's uncle/cousin Joe Bob used to raise pigs." She shrugged. "Daisy Mae—Bryan's gradma—used to take us over there all the time. Well, before he was arrested for growing pot in his back pasture."
"That boy has a weird family." He shook his head.
No stranger than mine. Andi thought. "At any rate, I don't think it would be nice to separate Raid from his new buddy."
"Will Zartan even allow pigs on base?" Steve asked.
"Hand me your cell, and we'll see." The blue-eyed girl grinned. The older boy sighed, and handed her his cellular phone. She punched in the number and waited. "Hey, boss? It's Andi. What? Oh, yes. We're fine. Listen, Steve and I were doing a little sightseeing and we kind of wandered into a pet store and we want to know if we can bring another animal home." She waited a moment. "No, it's not a bird. I hate birds." Steve guffawed while Andi continued her conversation. "So, can we?" Her face lit up at whatever response she received. "Yes. We know. Don't worry about it. I've had Laredo for two years and he's fine. Okay. Thank you. Bye." She hung up.
"So, we can get the pig?" Steve asked.
"We can get the pig." Andi said, lifting the little brown creature up out of the cage. "Come on, sweetie. Let's get you home."
"I still don't see why we had to get the pig a collar and a leash." Steve grumbled, lugging the package of Pig Chow up to the side entrance of the Chicago Dreadnoks' base—where the two lived.
"So we can take her for walks and not lose her." Andi stated. "Pigs are a lot like dogs, Steve. They can be housetrained, and they do tricks…"
"And they smell." He said.
"We'll give her a bath." Andi rolled her eyes. "Isn't that right, girl?" The pig grunted in agreement. "Wait! What are we going to name her?"
He thought a minute. "Brownie."
"That's it?"
"I think we should keep it simple. Besides, who doesn't like browinies?"
"Point." She grumbled, leading the two animals to the door and opening it for Steve. As they entered the garage, Burnout—a tall, muscular African-American man—shouted at them.
"About time you two got back! The others have been waiting for… what the hell is that?" He yelled.
"Brownie." Andi and Steve answered in unison.
"That ain't no brownie, that's a pig." The man said.
"She's our new pet." Andi said.
"Did Zartan okay this?" Burnout asked.
"Yeah." Andi nodded. "He said we could bring another pet home."
"Uh huh." Burnout nodded slowly. "The others are in the rec room."
"Thanks." Andi nodded, walking toward the door. As they entered the main part of the base, Regan Wyngarde, the Italian telepath known as Lady Mastermind, met them at the door.
"What's all this about a new pet? I never heard about… eeek!!" she shrieked. "It's a pig!"
"My ears." Steve moaned.
"Regan, calm down." Andi said. "She's clean."
"She's swine!" The other blond girl yelled. "She's filthy by proxy."
"Hey! Pigs are very clean animals. Cleaner than you, actually. And don't deny it, cause I've seen your room." Andi argued as Bryan Dukes, Texas farmboy and high-flying super-strong mutant codenamed Chaos, came up to the trio.
"When did we get a pig?" He said.
"Today." Steve said. "Don't tell me you don't like her either!"
"Com'ere, little piggy!" The brunette boy said, crouching down on the floor. "That a girl. Wow, you're a tiny little girl, ain'tcha?"
"She's a potbelly, Ry. She's supposed to be small." Andi said. "Bryan, meet Brownie. Brownie, meet Bryan."
"Come here, Brownie." Bryan said, scooping up the tiny pig. Regan recoiled away.
"You're touching it?" She squeaked as Steve left to put Brownie's food away.
"Yeah." The boy said. "She's a good little pig. Isn't that right, Brownie?"
"Did I just see Steve carrying a bag of Pig Chow?" Kristen asked as she, Mitch, and Neal joined the group in the hallway. Kristen "Vampira" Mortisson, a dhampire (half human, half-vampire), possessed the mutant ability to manipulate every molecule in her body in addition to her already heightened senses, strenght, and speed. Mitch "Golem" Dukes, Bryan's little brother, was super strong and could turn his skin into rock. Finally, Neal Sharra, aka Thunderbird, could turn fly ambient heat into super-heated plasma.
"Yes." Andi nodded. "That's what Brownie eats."
"Why the hell did you bring home a pig?" Kristen demanded. "She's going to mess up my room!"
"If you would leave your door closed, she won't even be in your room!" Andi countered. "She'll be sleeping in either mine or Steve's rooms."
"Can she sleep in my room?" Bryan asked.
"Why not?" Regan said. "Your quarters are a mess anyway."
"For the last time, she will not make a mess!" Andi groaned. "She will be house trained in no-time."
"And until then, she'll make a mess." Kristen grumbled. "Just keep that thing away from me."
"Me too!" Regan huffed, storming out of the room, with Kristen following.
"Why did you bring home a pig?" Neal asked. "Not that I am complaining, but it seems an unusual pet."
"Because Laredo picked her out." Andi said. "I can't believe those two are overreacting like this."
"I certainly can." The teens looked up to see Zartan standing in the hallway. "A pig?"
"You said I could bring home another pet." Andi replied.
"I thought you meant something like a hamster." The adult stated. "Maybe even a rabbit. But not a pig."
"That's what you get for thinking." Andi said.
"And not asking questions." Neal quipped.
"Shut up." Andi hissed.
"Well, I can see it's much to late to say no now." Zartan groaned.
"Does that mean we can keep Brownie?" Mitch asked.
"Yes, you can keep Brownie." Zartan replied.
"Yay!" Bryan said, holding Brownie the piglet out Lion King-style. "Welcome home, Brownie."
"Good lord, what have I done?" Zartan groaned.
Soo, should I make this a new chapter-fic, or leave it as is? It's all up to you guys. Let me know what you think.