Hello my lovelies~!
Welcome to my new new story. I should probably be working on my 'Beings of Light' buuut this has been bothering me for a while. So y'know I have to get it out.
Enjoy and please R&R I would like to know if you want me to continue it or not.
So without further ado...''In Which Harry Occupies His Lap.'
Warning: Draco, Harry, Ron, and Hermione will most likely be in occ. Not all the time but sometimes. Oh and there wont be in Ginny-bashing or Pansy-bashing unless I feel the need. Oh and this would be my attempt at humor, mind you it might not be funny...soooo enjoy nonetheless.
~*~P~A~G~E~B~R~E~A~K~*~
"I'm sitting in your lap." I state for the umpteenth time. Well repeated actually. I'm still in a state of denial slash shock.
"Really Potter, your ability to state the obvious is most outstanding." A voice drawls his breath tickling my ear and sending shivers up 'n' down my spine.
"And your ability to still sound like an arse is outstanding." I mumble and cross my arms tightly albeit childish I know.
"Touché." Malfoy says indifferently and my mouth drops open.
"Did you just...? You did! Hell has officiously frozen ." I gasp in mock amazement, holding my hand over my heart gasping over-dramatically.
"Don't let it get to your head, Potter. You are still on my lap above a body of water with killer sharks below us. You could somehow slip off my lap and somehow start swimming with the sharks. " His threat is obvious and quite clear to me.
"You're such an arse!" I huff childishly and start to fume muttering incoherent things under my breath.
Okay so maybe I should back up a little. You're probably wondering what's going on or beyond confused. But not to worry I, Harry Potter, will explain to you on how I came to be in this current predicament. I assure you however, that it wasn't willing on my part. I implore you to believe me. Believe me.
~*~F~L~A~S~H~*~B~A~C~K~*~
I'm walking next to Ron and Hermione(not that that's surprising or anything.)who are being all lovey-dovey with each other. I turn my head away in slight distain. No I'm not mad that their dating, the complete opposite actually, in fact I'm quite happy that their together. I don't have to watch Ron and Hermione play eye-tag or moon over each other from afar ever, ever again. It's just their always at it. With the necking, the kissing, the touching, the groping, and all the lovey-dovey talk. It's enough to make one want to get a barfing bag or tear their hair out. Well and it makes my face scrunch up in disgust so I you know I have a legitimate reason slash excuse to be disgusted. Suddenly I hear a groan and then a low drawn out moan. I shudder in disgust. Why me? Why?
"Merlin! Keep it in your pants and keep your hands to your self. We're in public not our dorm rooms!" I scold and glare at them with my usual scowl on my face.
"You're just mad because I'm getting some." Ron retorts.
Oh yeah he caught me. I'm mad because he's 'getting some' as he so eloquently put it. Egotistical much? Before Ron can even blink I smack him, hard, against the back of his head. As did Hermione, at the same time, actually. Uh well what do you know?
"Honestly, Ronald, you are so full of yourself. No sex for two weeks." Hermione says sharply. Cue the desperate pathetic cry of 'No!' from Ron. Poor guy.
Wait, back up, rewind. Okay ew I didn't need to hear that. I mean it's definitely not a surprise that their doing it. Considering the fact that they've been dating since 6th year, it's 7th year now, but that's besides the point. The point is I'd rather not think about what their doing behind closed doors. Suddenly, as if the Fates are against me, vivid images flash threw my mind and I feel as if part of my soul left me. Noo brain bad brain! Gaaaah my thoughts, my eyes! Why? Why? By now I've stopped walking am trying desperately to claw out my eyes.
"Oh Gooood! Why?" I cry desperately.
"Harry!" A shout of my name drew me from my mantel break down. I look up to see Hermione beckoning to me before moving on.
"How rude." I huff folding my arms, "The least she could do is wait for me but nooo. She just leaves after her love-struck boyfriend."
I start to walk after them. I pass the cluster of tree's then turn a sharp left that heads down a gravel passage way. It's then that I realize I'm the only one that is behind. Oh and that I get to share class with the Slytherin. Which means Draco bloody Malfoy is going to be there.
"Oh crap. It's not too late to back track." I whisper and intended to move backwards. But by then I've already stepped into the clearing and my(new)Professor spotted me.
Yes, new Professor, Professor Liddell to be exact. She is the teacher of Marine Biology*. It's a new course this year I guess. Well being Hermione she decided to try the new course out and being Ron he all but eagerly went with her and being the idiot that I am, I got strung in to go with them. Stupid I know.
Anyways the clearing is a big hole in the ground like a crater, except not. It's like a small deep pond that hasn't been filled with water yet. Confusing, right? Then there's a silver fence that surrounds the crater-like-thing with long benches hovering behind the fence. Okay so if it's Marine Biology where's the water? That's what I'd like to know.
"You're late, Harry Potter." I wince at the Professor's sharp tone that's also mixed with overly fake happiness. You know those kind of voices? Where, let's say in the Muggle world, you go to any office and are greeted by the receptionist. Who has a fake forced smile on her face and her voice is overly kind, happy, and over-all completely fake? Yeah get what I'm saying? Well that's her tone.
Professor Liddell has blue eyes, curling gray hair, a thin face with glasses perched at her nose. Kinda like how Professor Dumbles wears his glasses, weird. She is wearing overly flowy clothes. I.e. a pale-ish blue flowy gypsy skirt, a white peasants top with wide sleeves that are flowy as well. She's like Professor Trelawney except without the added spice of crazy. Come to think of it they could be sisters. I wonder if Professor Trelawney will be jealous.
I bit my lip and awkwardly place my hand on the back of my neck, "Haha y-yeah.." I mumble, "Sorry...I got distracted...yeah I got distracted!" I'm so clever some times I swear.
She raised her gray bow at that but said nothing further, "Right. Well I've already paired all of the students together, based on who will work well together. Your partner is..." She skims her clipboard with her finger, eyes scrawling down, "Ah, you're partnered with Draco Malfoy."
Some how that doesn't surprise me. Every teacher pairs him and I up, which is a bad idea in it's self. We end up arguing and getting detention. All because stupid Malfoy can't keep his condescending egotistical remarks to himself. Surprise. Surprise. Not.
"Right well take your sit, please." The way she said please was if it was an after-thought. Which it probably was.
I roll my eyes but nod anyways. I stalked over to the smug bastard clearly showing my displeasure of being paired with him. However I stop as I notice something. I turn to the Professor crossing my arms...again.
"There isn't any seats open." I state. Not that it bothers me. I can just stand. It's whatever.
"Stand next to your partner. He will make room for you. If he can't then...just sit on his lap. You must be off ground for my class." She sighs, "If you are not off ground. You will drawn or be killed. I do not need deaths on my hands because some student refused to do something so simple."
My mouth fell open, "There's no way in hell that I'll sit on his lap! No way in hell!" I shout shocked.
Why would a teacher suggest such a thing? We're enemies! Why would I sit on his lap? She shoots me a glare that could rivals Snapes before I relented. I calmly, well as calmly as I could muster, walk over to Malfoy and stop in front of him. My arms still crossed.
"Well?" I huff.
He raises and amused fine blond brow before replying, "Well what, Potter?" He asks, eyes smug. That bastard is playing with me! What an arse!
"You know what! Make room for me!" I mutter eyes slightly narrowed.
To this, his fermiliar I'm-up-to-something smirk played across his face, "There isn't any room." He paused, "you heard her, Potter. Sit on my lap." He drawls out that almost sounds like a purr. The way he rolls my name so silkily off his tongue, makes me shiver uncomfortable.
"I'm not sitting on your lap! Now make room or I swear to Merlin I'll hex you!" I hiss threateningly.
He just continues to sit there and smugly smirk at me, if that even makes any since. I clench my hands into fists and just I start to reach for my wand a harsh shove sends me stumbling into Malfoy's outstretched arms. Before I can retaliate or quickly get up, Malfoy grabs my shoulders, pulls me up, and then forces me to turn around correctly and sit on his lap.
I'm sitting.
On.
His.
Lap.
I'm sitting on his.
LAP!
My eyes widened and I fully intended to get off and leave with my pride still in tack. However Malfoy placed his arms around my waist restraining me from leaving. Oh and that my feet no longer touched the ground. I worriedly look down and gasp in horror as I realize that I'm several feet above the ground-no not ground but water. I'm above water. Lots and lots of water.
How in the hell did this happen?
Cruelty came crashing down when I remembered who's lap I'm on and who's arms are around my waist. I refuse to admit that his touch sends sparks jolting up and down my spine. And that it's warm where he touches me. Matter-of-fact I'm sure that once he's not touching me anymore. I'll still feel his warm arms around me. I refuse to admit that out loud. However, in my mind I'll admit it because no one can read my mind.
Thank Merlin.
"I'm sitting on your lap." I state.
"Yes you are." He agrees.
"I'm sitting on your lap." I state again eyes wide, unbelieving.
"You've already said that, Potter."
"I'm sitting on your lap!" I cry hysterically well almost hysterically, anyways.
"Yes Potter, you are sitting on my lap." He sighs.
"I'm sitting on your lap." I state for the umpteenth time.
~*~P~R~E~S~E~N~T~*~T~I~M~E~*~
So you see that's how it happened. It's all Professor Liddell's fault. If she hadn't made me partner up with Malfoy, none of this would have ever happened. You hear me? None of this would have happened. None!
So here I am stuck on his lap for two hours.
Two whole hours.
Two!
To top this bad day off. There is deadly killer sharks and stuff below me. I'm slightly afraid. I mean how is this Marine Biology? How? I huff and recross my arms again. I refuse to lean back into his warmth. No matter how nice it sounds. That would mean defeat. And I for one will not be defeated that easily. Sometimes I really hate magic and the wizarding world.
Sometimes, anyways.
I bit my lip and unconsciously lean backwards and grip Malfoy's arms with my hands. The sharks are circling and kind of popping out of the water. It's like their just waiting for me to slip so then they can all charge at me and tear my limps from my body and eat me while I'm screaming bloody murder. And no I'm not being overly-dramatic. You just wait. Just wait.
"Oh Merlin. I'm going to die." I whisper horrified, "H-Hows this Marine Biology anyways?" I mumbled to myself, "Sharks-shouldn't-even-be-here-they-should-be-in-the-ocean-with-all-its-killer-friends-why's-there-an-Omeba?-it's-a-frikken-pink-blob-that-has-nothing-to-do-with-marine-"
"Calm down, Potter." Malfoy said calmly his breath trickling in my ear. I turn red and I can only nod, too embarrassed to reply, "Now if you will kindly remove your nails from my flesh. That'd be great."
I nod again and slowly ease my grip on his arms. But I'm not letting go. If I fall he's coming with me. That's for sure. I will not die alone while the killer sharks attack and tear me apart, Malfoy gets to be with me.
"Sorry." I mumbled.
He says nothing in reply so I let out an annoyed sigh recrossing my arms. Yeah I don't want to touch his arms or grab his arms anymore. He's a jerk. A big fat mean condescending jerk. And no I'm not being childish.
Twenty minutes pass and I'm starting to feel antsy and awkward. I'm surrounded by Draco's warmth, yes Draco, I am referring him to Draco instead of Malfoy because it's starting to get annoying. Draco's warmth is making it hard to concentrate ad I just want to close my eyes and sleep.
I bite my bottom lip and glance at Ron and Hermione, who obviously seem amused by my predicament. Of course they would, jerks. I shoot them a glare; promising death as soon as I see them. That seemed to amuse them even more so I stiffly look away. Best friends my arse. Best friends would try and help me out of this situation not laugh at me because of it. I'm disowning them the second chance I get.
Professor Liddell had started, a while ago, talking about sharks and stuff. But I choice to ignore her. After all if you hate something why bother to learn about it? Finally though, as if Merlin felt my pain, the sharks disappeared or something magical like that. instead there is dolphins instead of sharks. Which is awesome because their all adorable and cute looking.
I straighten up immediately and grin. Now it's not so scary anymore. Professor Liddell starts talking animatedly about the dolphins. It's obvious, by the way she talks, that she loves dolphins or loves the job she does. Either way she's very animated about it. Anyways I start paying attention to the water below me and start watching the dolphins playing and swimming together.
To my amazement a baby dolphin pops it's nose out of the water. Then, I swear I'm not lying, the baby dolphin looks straight at me. I gasp and the bay dolphin cocks it's head to the right...if that's even possible. I wave to it with a big grin on my face. The baby lies on it's side before flapping it's fin. Maybe that's how it waves...? Well either way it's super cute. I nudge Draco in the stomach with my elbow.
"What Potter?" Comes his usual drawling voice.
"Look! The baby dolphin is waving!" I chirp happily.
"I see." He sounds as if he's not in the least a bit interested. But why? Their so cute!
"You're just jealous because you're not as cute as them!" I huff.
"Yes Potter, I'm jealous because their not as cute as me." Every word is literally dripping with heavy sarcasm. Which I choose not to acknowledge, instead I turn it around on him.
"Well I'm glad you can admit it. Being in denial isn't something you should be in." I smirk proud with my comeback. That'll teach him.
"Oh? Well then you should fallow your own clever advice, Potter." Once again his voice is dripping with heavy sarcasm with a hint of something else lased in his tone.
I blink, "What's that suppose mean? I'm not in denial of anything, smug-bastard!" I huff with my eyes narrowed, "Your just being a jerk and I don't have to listen this!" By now I'm struggling to get out of his hold, completely forgetting I'm above water.
Can you guess what happened next? Well if you can't then I pity you. Somehow I managed to slip out of his hold and well fall into the water below me with a huge splash. I hear someone scream my name well more then one person. Then it's silenced as I'm engulfed in the water below me.
Water swamps my vision as my clothes drag me down as well as my bag. But I refuse to drop my bag. It has all my school stuff in it. Somehow the possibility of me pulling out my wand, shouting a spell that will get me out of the water completely slipped my mind. Funny how that works, uh?
I open my eyes and look around hoping to see the shiny light that told me where the water service lie. Instead all I saw was swampy water and several red glows under water. What the hell is that? Was what I thought before two red glows started coming toward me.
It could be the friendly dolphins but why would they have red eyes? In the Muggle world dolphins don't have red eyes and they don't give off an evil aura. Panic stricken I started to kick my legs so I could flout up to the top. Oh god I hope it's the top. As soon as I started swimming the red glow intensified and I swear to god I saw a glint of long pointy teeth. Oh my god is this how I'm going to die? Being eaten by dolphins? Dolphins that I thought were friendly and sweet? How...how stupid!
Miraculously I broke the service and grabbed onto the fence coughing and gasping for air. Water dripped down my face and blurred my vision. I pulled my self a little higher as I waited for my heart to slow down. I use one of my hands to wipe the water out of my eyes before looking around.
I see Hermione's horror stricken face and Ron who as the same stricken look as they watch me...well not me but something else. I slowly fallow their line of sight before gasping. The baby dolphin, who I've dubbed as the cute adorable one, is charging me. Charging me like a shark does once it finds its prey. I attempt to reach my wand so I can cast stupefy. But-
"Excelsiosempra." Someone shouted before I well before I shot out of the water very high, "Accio!" The same person said countering the excelsiosempra. Next thing I know I'm dropping out of the air and landing in the persons familiar warmth.
I open my eyes, not realizing that I've closed them in the process, and glance at...Draco. My eyes widen and I blush heavily before shyly looking away, "...Thank you." I murmur barely audible. He hears me and rolls his silvery-blue stormy eyes.
"Honestly, Potter. And they say you're suppose to save the wizarding world." He scoffs.
I frown and straighten up, "Well I'm sorry if it was such trouble saving me from a killer dolphin! Next time don't even bother if your going to act like an arse because of it!" I snap.
Before he can retort Professor spoke, "Well it seems because of someone's stupidity I will have end this class early. Hopefully tomorrow we can continue with out any accidents. You are all dismissed." She said stiffly.
My feet suddenly touch the ground and I push Draco-no bloody Malfoy away. With a huff I smooth down my soaked clothes, turn around, and stomp toward Hermione and Ron. Hermione lunches her self at me with a cry of: "Harry!"
"I'm fine. I just slipped is all." I mumble, "Anyways 'Mione do you by any chance know a drying spell?"
She releases me and sniffs diligently*, "Of course I do." She huffs, "But I wont be doing it for you. You need to learn your lesson for doing something stupid. Why would you jump into water full of Blood Dolphins?"
"How was I suppose to know they were flesh eating dolphins?" I ask.
"Simple. You should have listened, mate." Ron put in his two cents.
"Wow thanks for the obvious answer, smart one." I mutter, "Whatever I'll see you at lunch. I'm going to go change!"
With that said I turn around and stomp off. Miserable, wet, and annoyed with Draco bloody Malfoy, muttering, once again, incoherent things about the bloody-condesending-snobbish-git under my breath.
A/N Wellll how do you like the first chapter? I'm sorry if the action scenes and stuff sucked. And yes I sort of stole the idea from 'Kara Kara Maou' the one where the sharks are friendly and the dolphins are carnivores. Carnivorous like the Sharks that we have now.
Anyways please R&R I really want to know how you like it and if I should continue or not.
Note: This Drarry fic is going to be kinda like drabbles except not. All the drabbles are going to somehow be connected to the first chapter, just because I think it would be awesome. So it's sort of like book chapters except not. Does that make since? I hope it does.
Note2: Ohh you are allowed to give me idea's for future chapter/drabbles. However, Harry will not be topping Draco because I prefer it the other way. So yeah.
Note3: Next chapter will be full of crack and randomness. It will include the song 'Like A G6' and a sick Harry. Oh and if you don't know the song tis okay. Just look it up. If techno/rap isn't your thing then you don't have to listen to it just too read the next chapter. It's whatever.
Note4: Not all of my chapters will be humorous, mind you. I do love a little dab of angst and what not.
1*. Yeah I couldn't think of any class. So why not Marine Biology?
2*. I was trying to use a different word because I know this isn't the one I wanted. The word I was trying to use was to describe Hermione's obvious stuck up-ish with an air of Superior or something.
Byes~!
~Lovely
p.s.: Sorry for the grammar and spelling mistakes. Their not my best skills or whatever.
p.s.s.: R&R please!