"Hey, Alice?" Rosalie Hale climbed up onto the roof of the Cullen Mansion. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Alice looked up from gazing up at Sirius, the Dog Star.
"Sure, Rose. What's up?"
"Um… Don't freak, okay?"
"Err… I promise?"
Rosalie looked as if she was about to burst.
"Jacob Black is in love with you, but don't kill me, I'm just the messenger!!"
"WHAT? The damn dog of Hell? The son of Lucifer? The Devil himself?!" Alice screeched in shock. "Where… did you hear this, Rose?"
"A… source…" Rosalie mumbled.
"Source, huh?" Well you tell this 'source' that I want to talk to the dog of Pure Evil at the border of La Push," Alice glared.
"No problem!" Rosalie scampered off the roof.
"Geez. Blondes," Alice muttered into the wind as she laid back down on the roof looking at the Dog Star once again and quickly looking away as it repulsively reminded her of Jacob Black.
-- 3 – 4 hours later--
As Alice reached the border, she saw that Jacob was already on the borderline waiting for her. She came to a complete stop and stood herself as close to him as her sensitive nose will allow her. (Which was 2 inches…?)
"So what's this al about, leech?" Jake growled. "I'm not here to be summoned by you bloodsuckers at your leisure."
Alice glared. "Well, we wouldn't be here if it weren't for YOU."
"ME?!"
"Yeah!! What the hell are you thinking?! How could you like me?! We're two different species that hate each other!! I HATE YOU!!"
"Wha- ME? Like you?! What're you going on about?!"
"Oh. Come on! Did you really think I wouldn't find out?!"
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?"
"Look, Dog, either you tell me what the fuck is going on or I'll FORCE it out, you Asshole," Alice cracked her knuckles as her usual golden brown eyes turned into a black abyss.
Jacob froze, thinking for a moment. 'So that's what the blonde leech was talking about… Though why… I have no idea.' A smirk slowly grew on his face. 'Might as well go along with it.' He put on the most serious face he could muster.
"You wanna know the truth?"
Alice folded her arms and stared right into his eyes… awaiting the truth she couldn't foresee.
"I… I" Jake worked hard to keep his voice sincere. "I'm desperately in love with you!!"
"Excuse me, Jack ass, but I'm married-"
"Jasper? Oh, he divorced you."
Alice twitched once and in vampire speed she roundhouse kicked him in the guts sending him down to the ground.
"You lying, filthy, demonic, disgrace to the dog race BASTARD!!" With each word she kicked him hard in the gut.
"No, wait," he choked. "ALICE!!"
"Stay the HELL away from me!" the pixie like vampire shrieked, and with the final blow, she sent him flying.
"I hope he lands in effing ITALY!!"
Suddenly, Edward appeared at her side. "Good kick." He complimented as he raced after the minuscule speck in the sky that was Jacob.
-- 6 days later--
Alice was sitting at the kitchen table staring at a pajama clad Bella, who was munching cheerily on frosted flakes. They both looked up as Edward 'poofed' into existence in the room. He looked incredibly stunned.
"What's wrong, Eddie?" Bella asked.
Edward's face remained blank as he slowly sat down next to Bella.
"He landed on Jane."