AN: Well this is the sequel to 'Misery Loves Company', I know most of you are confused as to how theres a sequel, without Chuck, but you'll see as things progress, where it's going. Not much to say, other then enjoy, and review!
--
It was sleeping next to someone she missed the most, Serena and Nate just didn't cut it. Although they'd been there for her the entire summer, never leaving her side unless she begged for space, she found that she didn't need space, she needed him. She needed his arms wrapped around her, the scent of scotch on his breath, even the way he touched her in the softest ways, making every thrust every movement inside of her gentle, like the first time had been in the back of the limo. She missed his smile, and his cheesy persona, she just missed him. The Hampton's without Chuck Bass, was like Barney's without designer clothes, it just wasn't the same, and Blair Waldorf without Chuck Bass, was like an atomic bomb had been dropped desolating all life around the surrounding areas.
Slowly making her way back to her lounge chair, Blair slowly sat down resting her head back with a sigh, today just wasn't her day, it was Chucks 3month anniversary and on top of it she was sick to her stomach. Feeling the cold breeze from the ocean hit her she let out a sigh of relief, as she fanned herself. The summer heat had taken full effect on her for the past couples of weeks and it was safe to say she more then hated it.
"Do you think we could just stay here...till next August?" Blair asked letting her Dior sunglasses fall back onto her nose as she stretched out absorbing the suns rays "When everyones...forgotten?" She said the pain clear in her voice.
"And miss out on Senior year?" Serena answered with a small laugh, putting down the September copy of Vogue "I know its tough B, but you got to get back out there, you can't hide out in the Hampton's for the rest of your life, it'll give Gossip Girl more to talk about."
"They all know B" Sitting up she pulled her knees in close, resting her head on the tops "...I'm the reason...I killed him."
Swooping her legs over the side, she leaned over putting a hand on her best friends back "B, don't say that..it's not true, far from it. He's not really gone, he's still beating inside of you."
"I should have gone with Daddy and Roman back to France" Blair coughed out as a fresh batch of tears slid down her cheeks "...I should have just gone to Tuscany...I shouldn't have gone looking back for him...if I hadn't...I would have never have seen him and that blond and.."
"And what Blair?" Serena questioned getting up and moving over to the opposite lounge wrapping her arms around her best friend "Everything happens for a reason, your the one who tells me that all the time...who knows what would have happened if you hadn't gone back to the suite, but you can't dwell on that, it'll tear you apart Blair I swear it will" After the experience after the Sheppard wedding, Serena had been sure it'd been her fault but had also been able to overcome it, getting on with her life.
"Its just not fair..." Blair muttered pushing her sunglasses back "he didn't...he just didn't deserve to die because of me, it not right or fair, its not"
Serena found herself at a loss for words, here her best friend was in front of her, crumbling and she had no idea how in the hell to help her. Keeping her arms around her, tightly she kissed the top of her head, looking out over the desk "We're gonna get you through this Blair, I promise" She whispered, as the small girl sobbed in her arms.
--
"Shes not ok Nate, far from it" Serena said abruptly later on that night, as the two sat on the deck, watching the nightly waves crash onto shore "She had another breakdown today, I don't know whats gonna happen when we go back to the city."
Putting down his beer Nate sighed shaking his head, it had been anything but an easy summer. Between the destruction of Blair and the loss of his best friend, he honestly couldn't wait for school to start up again so he could have some normal drama or some lack of it. He'd been more then ready and willing to hop on a plane and go find Vanessa, or take his boat and set sail for Vermont. He loved Blair and Serena more then anything, but he needed his space as well. He needed his time to mourn.
"I think when we get back to the city, I'm going to talk to my mom and Eleanor about letting me stay with Blair for a little" Serena persisted, hoping to get anything out of Nate "...She's busy tending to Bart, so it's not like she'll notice I'm gone...I really don't wanna leave her alone right now, I'm scared she'll do something stupid."
"Like?" Nate asked suspiciously, as he spinned the glass bottle, that held very little liquid left. He found it easier at night, to get half drunk. Blair wasn't exactly stable at that time of the day, usually waking up screaming for Chuck, thats how him and Serena had turned her room into theirs as well. Serena had refused to leave her best friends side, and Nate couldn't seem to pull himself away either.
"Like just take off and leave, go to France to be with her father" The blond sighed "Or worse...start doing what caused her heart to fail in the first place. I almost lost her once Nate, she's my best friend. I'll be damned if I lose her again."
"We have one full week left here" He answered, before finishing off the rest of the bottle "One more week, and we'll be back at Constance and St. Judes, once she gets back into her daily routine and social circle she'll be just fine." Deep down, Nate didn't believe himself for a minute but he saw the scared look in Serena's eye. The look he'd only seen once, and prayed he'd never have to see again, he knew she was serious. Sitting up he brought his legs over the lounge, and leaned over putting a hand on her knee "We'll get her through this Serena, I know we can."
--
She hated the night the most, they were always the most difficult. She saw him in her dreams, and couldn't seem to hold onto Serena or Nate tight enough to will them away, it never got any easier. Even with his heart beating in her chest, she found no comfort. It wasn't his arms wrapped safely and securely around her, nothing was ever the same.
Pulling herself up from the cold tiled floor, of her lavish bathroom, she wiped her tear stained cheeks off, trying to hold back the rush of new ones that threatened to be exposed. The nausea that sat in her stomach was far worse then anything else she'd ever felt, she wasn't ready for all of this to be really true, she wasn't.
Putting a little toothpaste on her index fingers, she quickly brushed it over teeth, taking the horrible taste out of her mouth, before slowly making her way into the large bedroom, she'd secluded herself in all summer.
The sheets felt nice and cool as she slid onto them, pulling up the heavy silk comforter she let out a sigh of relief, to finally be off her feet. Today had been the hardest, there was no doubting it. His 1month had nearly killed her, but his 3month, it'd finally set in. He wasn't coming home, he was truly gone. Turning onto her side she grabbed the small frame, she kept under her mattress, that held the last picture they'd ever taken together. It was 3 days before the incident occurred, the two had decided to screw the plans they had and go to Montuk Point, on the Island. It'd been a simple day, whale watching on one the charters or from the beach, a simple picnic, the occasional skinny dip, it'd been almost two perfect. It'd been when the two had seen an old married couple, that Blair knew Chuck was the one for her.
"Well I am Chuck Bass, after all" Chuck said with one of his award winning smirks, as Blair started into a fit of laughter. It'd been an absolutely perfect day, it was almost a shame that they had to leave after sun down, however Chuck intended to make it all last.
"You my dear, are completely and utterly insane" Blair responded, pressing her lips to his, letting the kiss linger for a little. It was moments like this, when it was just them, away from the strain of Gossip Girl, that she truly enjoyed. They could just be themselves, normal teenagers, instead of stuck up Upper East Siders. It was truly truly truly perfect.
Pulling back, Chuck smiled and got up reaching his hand out to help her up. Once so, he wrapped her arm securely around, planting a kiss on the side of her head "you Waldorf, are absolutely amazing" He whispered, a gleam in his eye.
Resting her head on his shoulder, she smile looking up at him, her thoughts being interrupted when a sudden voice emerged.
"You remember when we were like that Betty?" An older man asked his wife, as they watched the two.
"Who you kidding" The older women laughed "We're still like that, just a couple more wrinkles."
Looking over a little confused Blair gave a nervous smile, raising an eyebrow "...Do we know you?" She asked sceptically, unsure if they recognized her at all.
"Oh no, of course not" The older man laugh "Just passing through, and reliving our own memories is all" He said with a smile, pulling his wife close to him"I'm Al, this is my wife Betty" He introduced with a smile.
"I'm Chuck Bass, this is my girlfriend Blair." Chuck said with a smile, tightening his arm around his own girl.
"We're sorry to interrupt you really, we just couldn't help but relive our own past" Betty smiled "We've been married 35yrs, and every things just as it was when we first met. We came here a lot, when we were courting."
Blushing Blair picked her head off of Chucks shoulder with a smile. She'd recognized the word from her own grandmother "and your still in love?" She asked cautiously with a smile.
"As the day I first laid eyes on her" Al said with a gleam in his eyes "fights will happen, feelings will be hurt. But in the end, when you wake up every morning to the one you love, it's worth it. Obstacles in a relationship just make you stronger, it pulls your heart together even more"
Blair looked up at Chuck, taking in his features as he listened to the older man. His face being so decisive, taking in every word, and processing them over and over. It was then Blair knew, they were each others forever.
"Why" She whispered, as her newly French manicured fingers, ran over his features in the pictures "Why'd you have to leave me?" She said as she pulled the picture close to her chest, as the tears escaped her eyes.
--
Slowly creeping into Blair's room, Serena let out a sigh of relief seeing that the brunette was out cold. Turning to Nate she shook her head "I'll take care of her tonight, you get some sleep. I'll stay with her."
"Are you sure?" Nate whispered, looking in at the sleeping form that lay under the comforter. "What if she has one of her dreams?"
"Then I'll get you" the blond added "Go, I've got her. Get some sleep."
Closing the door behind her, Serena sighed. Things weren't going to be any easier when they got into the city, only worse. Slipping off her sandals, she quickly stripped down, pulling her La Perla nightgown over her head. Before settling in under the covers, glancing over at Blair. Leaning over she carefully took the frame out of the smaller girls hands, putting it on the nightstand when she felt her stir.
"Chuck" Blair said groggily as she turned over facing her best friend, not fully awake.
"No sweetie, its Serena." She whispered, as she covered her up a little more. "Try and get back to sleep, kay?"
Opening her eyes slowly, Blair felt the sudden pain again when she realized it really wasn't him. Sniffling a little she moved closer to her best friend "I miss him S" She whispered hoarsely "I miss him so damn much."
Wrapping her arms around the smaller girl, she held her close to her "I know you do sweetie, I know you do" She whispered, softly rubbing her back.
"No, you don't" Blair sniffled as the tears started to slide down her cheeks "you have Dan, you get to go home to him in a week...Nate has Vanessa..."
"Blair, don't do this to yourself" Serena said softly "Don't put yourself through this, you know you won't be alone, we would never do that to you."
"I can't do this without him S" She whispered "I'm not strong enough...I can't do this without him."
"Do what sweetie?" She questioned "...You can get past Gossip Girl, without him. I know you can. Your the Queen B, remember?"
Shaking her head rather quickly, Blair pulled away turning away from the blond with a sigh, as she watched the picture, the memories replaying in her head.
"B, don't turn away from me. Tell me, whats going on?" Serena questioned once again, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Pulling away, Blair quickly sat up shaking her head "No!" She snapped "No, no no no no!" She repeated over and over as the tears quickly slid down her cheeks.
Her breakdowns had never been this bad before, never. Serena knew she'd need more help if she wanted to get Blair through the night. Quickly getting up she rushed out of the bedroom and down the hall knocking rapidly and repeatedly on Nate's door "Nate!" She yelled "Nate!!"
It only took a few seconds, for an extremely exhausted Nate to answer the door "Serena what is"
"It's Blair" Serena cut in before he could even finish the sentence "...she's losing it" Serena mustered out as she felt the hot tears build up behind her eyes "We need to get her help."