Prologue
I knew before we even met that Dan was special, he'd been stalking me on twitter and my Youtube account for a while, but it wasn't creepy, he was hilarious. We had loads in common and it quickly blossomed into a deep friendship. We spent hours on Skype talking about Muse and Pokemon and all sorts of weird things that went through our heads. Never stuck for words, I laughed more when we were together than I ever had.
When I suggested we meet up I hoped he didn't think I was being weird, or feel uncomfortable. When he said "OK", seemingly so casually I was really excited. I think I changed my clothes about 5 times before getting out of the door to meet him.
Outside Starbucks bang on 7.00pm I was there, we both had a sweet tooth and agreed that Starbucks did the trick nicely, besides it seemed a good neutral place for our first meeting. As I shuffled nervously rubbing my hands together to keep out the cold, even bouncing a little more with excitement than cold; a tall figure with glossy straight brown hair rounded the corner, looking so cool and together. I hoped he didn't notice my jaw drop slightly, he was even more beautiful in the flesh than on my computer screen.
I must have been gaping a little as I took in his hot glowing rich brown eyes, his smooth creamy skin. The sort of skin that changes colour with the seasons, as naturally as the leaves on the trees. I was betting he'd be toasty brown in the summer; unlike my extra white skin with a side order of white. "Well give me a hug then" he exclaimed, "don't go all shy on me now". I grinned and wrapped my arms around him and gave him the biggest squeeze I could muster. My eyes squished together tightly, and was happy that he squeezed back just as hard.
After that we became pretty much inseparable apart from unavoidable stuff. Spending every spare moment together. He was so affectionate and I loved him for that, he'd kissed me on our first date and I had gone all victorian lady on him, my knees practically went from under me, but I was so happy that there were no silly doubts about what we were to each other. We hadn't been able to keep our hands off each other since.
We were snuggled up on the sofa one evening not so long ago having some down time watching movies and indulging in tickle fights, which usually escalated into something else; when I couldn't help but burst out "Hey Dan, should we keep hiding our relationship from our subscribers and viewers?" It was getting so difficult to do. "People seem to enjoy what we do, and loads of them are dying for us to be a couple anyway". I couldn't blame them speculating we were so comfortable in each others company, we touched all the time without even thinking about it we just gravitated together. The casual brush of fingers, hugs, the occasional peck on the lips. We made so much unintentional work for ourselves that way, the extra editing it created having to cut the most intimate bits out.
"Phil" he admonished we've talked about this before. We would have liked to tell our viewers but we were still fairly young...well Dan was... and not really sure how to handle the situation, or how damaging it might be to our viewing figures. I know that might sound cold but this had become our career and we didn't want to jeopardise it if we didn't have to. To be honest I wouldn't have minded the risk, but Dan is very competitive and driven, despite his carefree sarcastic approach on screen he did care very much what people thought of him and his public image.
Main body
We'd been together 4 years now and had been discussing this issue again before we went on air. We were happier than ever settled into that stage when you can practically read each others minds, our careers were going well and we were still forging it together. How many other couples are that lucky. Dan was starting to come around to the idea that perhaps it wouldn't be so bad if people in general knew. He was in favour if we did it of simply being natural, being ourselves as we would if we weren't under such scrutiny. Rather than some big announcement on our channel/s.
We'd just finished our Sunday evening radio show when the equipment started to buzz with static, little sparks here and there. Dan turned his head to the side and looked at me with a wtf expression on his face, mine must have looked just the same. As he leaned in to fiddle with the equipment along with a technician who'd rushed over there was a flash and Dan was thrown back. Luckily a fairly mild electric shock. He jumped back further flailing and ran behind me, voicing his "what the fuck!", Phil? Lights started to go out and the static started to pick up. The studio speakers spewing out fragments of broadcasts that clearly weren't from the UK.
Then as if nothing had happened everything just flicked back on, and quietened down, just a few hisses here and there. All the techies were running around doing diagnostics and trying to figure out what the hell had happened. We left them to it, as always with a thank you for being so great to work with, and wishing them luck.
When we reached home we scoured he internet trying to figure out what could have caused that disruption. "Well I'm still convinced it's my nightmares biting me in the arse" Dan was quite the science queen but he admitted that literally the only thing that scared him were things he didn't believe in, ghosts and the whole monsters and demons kick. "Poltergeists, Philip, poltergeists". I laughed and hugged him, reassuring him that the techies would figure it out, that some insulation or wiring somewhere must have shorted out. Dan raised an eyebrow and stated firmly "poltergeists".
We slipped out onto the balcony it was a warm evening and it was nice to look over the city with it's lights twinkling and shimmering. We took our laptops to put up some links and a twitter comment about the show, mentioning 'the weird' that had happened at the end. While we were working in comfortable silence lights started to flicker around us again, and our connections started to drop in and out. We decided not to risk any more shocks so just in case we posted what we could, saved our various tabs so nothing would be lost and closed the lap tops.
Despite the strange events at the studio we were in the mood for just chilling and taking in the view so though a little disturbed by the continuing disruption we were happy to relax. The balmy night air tickled against my skin and lifted and played with Dan's hair in the most adorable way. The sounds of the streets almost a lullaby to us now though it seemed more jarring tonight as our lullaby was interrupted by more sirens than usual. "Phil! look at the sky" I'd been staring at Dan lost in my thoughts and hadn't noticed the strange glow to the sky. It was beautiful, and made me think of the aurora borealis, faint waves of green seeming to flow and undulate across the sky, sometimes a whisper of colour, sometimes flaring more intensely.
"There must be some explanation for it, pollution probably, we don't get the aurora this far south surely". Anyway it was kind of romantic, and when we slipped back in we led each other to bed fingers entwined, later legs and arms and lips entwined. Still with that delicious swirl in my stomach every time we kissed, and made love. Tonight we were lost in each other, gentle and tender melting together, still filled with awe for one another. We fell asleep contented still entangled like one long happy sausage.
By the next morning it was all over the internet, apparently although we hadn't been able to see evidence of it from our enclosed position in the studio, there had been electrical problems all over the world. "See not poltergeists Dan." I pecked him on the cheek, he was so handsome when he was concentrating. Looking back to the screen, Dan informed me reading for both of us and having his geeky smart arse head on, experienced the results of a CME or a coronal mass ejection. I stood next to him reading snippets over his shoulder rubbing little circles on his back, he seemed faintly annoyed that I knew this meant a solar flare, and a little bit of the background to solar storms, always having to be the clever one Dan I chuckled inwardly.
These events were cyclical, solar activity increased to a solar maximum every eleven years, the strength of the flares were not however predictable. It had been common knowledge in the scientific community that a solar maximum was predicted for this year. "Why was I not informed" Dan joked self importantly. Though his face soon clouded as he read further there had been casualties of this power problem.
Although the first bigger burst was short and already unnoticeable to a casual observer by the time we left the studio it had affected traffic lights, life saving equipment in hospitals, control systems aboard planes all sorts of problems caused to electrical and electro magnetic equipment. It had caused enough problems to loose many poor people their lives. So that's why the sirens were interrupting the lullaby so much last night. We felt awful for the poor people who had found themselves in such bad positions due to this inescapable natural phenomena.
I was finding it difficult to get my head around this, I went to shower knowing we'd need to be getting out to check on friends and family quite quickly. I'll have to phone everyone further away, and check my twitter and subscribers too I thought while I lathered myself up. When I left the bathroom Dan was on the phone "you think that's a good idea then? OK I'll ask Phil if he's up for it too, I'm sure he will you know he has the heart of a kitten." I smiled, kitten indeed, "Rawr!" I said from the doorway. Dan spun around and smiled at me all dimples and shining eyes. I would die if he ever stopped looking at me like that.
"So what was that all about Daniel?", "well I rang the producer of our show and asked if there was anything that needed to be or could be done charity wise about this. I've been checking our feeds, twitter and shit and there are loads of people out there who have lost everything". I didn't realise just how bad this was. "People's houses caught fire Phil power fluctuations were too much for some wiring, crashes wiped out generations of families..." he stuttered to a stop his eyes pooling and spilling over onto his cheeks. I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around him, my eyes too now spilling and moistening his ticklish neck. We stood like this for a while soaking up the comfort that only we could give to each other before drawing apart to start out to do the rounds of our nearest friends and family.
Thankfully our friends and both mine and Dans family were ok, like us they had only experienced weird sparks and power loss. Well all ok apart from Chris that is who'd been in the shower when the lights went, tripped and went flying. Luckily his head is hard so he only had some bruising and minor cuts. Some of our subscribers and Youtube friends had experienced loss though and we messaged or contacted as many as possible that morning.
It had been a couple of days now and they had been hectic we'd had hardly any time to be with each other alone. The solar storm had not left us entirely, there were peaks in activity which meant that the emergency services were kept busy. However companies and people in general had learnt how to cope thanks to public service information and guidance. There were still accidents and outages but the worst were avoided as there was a massive publicity drive on what to do when a surge was due, government safety measures had been devised and were being adhered too. Basically this consisted of turning everything off, and grounding flights etc, hospitals had manual fail safes and back ups as much as possible. This was see damaging, expensive temporary glitch that shouldn't last more than another couple of days.
We travelled quite a bit giving live charity 'performances', just us meeting a bunch of people and having a laugh most. We hosted radio shows and planned to make our next 8 o'clock Dan vs Phil completely open...within reason.. to viewer suggestions for charity donations. We co-hosted a couple of TV shows to raise awareness. Of course we did a Youtube video too, resurrecting the Fantastic Foursome to make a sketch about how not to survive a Solar Storm. We were busy and although we loved what we did we were sad for the reason all this activity had come our way.
The time came six days after the initial CME when Phil and I were to host events separately, our last ones for this purpose hopefully. Not that we wanted to do this on our own but there was so much work we asked if they would accept one half of us, and to be honest it would be nice not to slip into 'Ant and Decdom'. Luckily the organisers didn't mind, they had other more well known people there too. Dan was "chuffed off his tits" as he put it to be involved at an event where Muse had agreed to appear even though the UK leg of their tour wasn't until May.
He'd been pencilled in to do a short interview with them with Emma Blackery. We like Emma, she has girl balls. He couldn't get over that he was getting to do this, a lot of the more famous presenters were off doing huge charity events so we were lucky I suppose to be offered this one even if only Dan could attend. The organisers would have accepted either of us on our own for the Muse gig but I loved to see Dan so excited and it made me happy to take the Edinburgh event. I was still a little bit jealous, I am human after all, I mean come on... 'Muse!'. Where I was heading there were a few big name comedians, like Russell Howard & Frankie Boyle. At least I would get to see the Asian lions Kamlesh and Jayendra at Edinburgh zoo, I wished Dan could be with me though.
As we stood on the platform waiting for the one o'clock to Edinburgh I so wanted to touch Dan, kiss him and cuddle before we were parted; but we'd bumped into a crowd of excited Danosaurs a few minutes before. They were lovely but we were still wary of being too demonstrative or there would be pictures all over the internet. I wished we could kiss and hug our goodbyes like a normal couple.
Our eyes did a lot of the talking for us, Dan fixed me with those glorious liquid pools of burnished bronze and tucked Lion into the large pocket of my hoody, making sure to stand close and stroke my hand which was already in my pocket as he did so, I took his hand in mine and squeezed it just for a moment. "Mmm" Dan whispered to me in his best these are not just dirty thoughts they're M&S dirty thoughts drawl that made me quiver,"Just those eyes alone Philip, make me want to throw you down on a bench and fuck you right here and now". I burst out laughing, my hand flew to my mouth my eyes popping slightly, he never failed to say something to shock me and crack me up at the same time. He'd also made sure that all I'd be able to think about on the 5 hour journey would be him ravaging me on the platform. "Dan! You're a monster!" I laughed slapping his upper arm.
The train drew up, and as I climb aboardI murmur "I love you" our heads together as he helped me drag my embarrassingly large case over the step.. "Sorry what I can't hear you" he mimed as he stepped away off the train and left me to manhandle the case the rest of the way, enjoying my discomfort. "I love you" I mouthed as discretely as I could as I shut the door. As the train drew away Dan had his hand behind his ear leaning forward shrugging, feigning deafness as we drew apart. Cruel Dan I laughed to myself as I managed to find a seat and settle down for the journey. My phone pinged, "I love you too".
I'd enjoyed the event much more than I thought I would, and had some time to get to the zoo this morning. I sat on the train with a big smile on my face enjoying the memories of the night before, and glad to be on my way home to Dan, perhaps we'd get time to hang out with friends, and make up for our week of near celibacy. Frankie Boyle had managed not to be too outrageous about the more 'funny' deaths as he put it, that happened because of the CME. He couldn't help though but make reference to the devil and fires of hell in relation to one particularly disliked politician, who had found himself on the hot end of a lightning bolt like strike from a power cable. Russell Howard was a nice bloke and even came to see the lions with me. I'd sent Dan the picture of us heads together whiskers drawn on faces doing the 'rawr' thing in front of the lion cage. I got a short message back saying "adorable, you were ok too".
I got myMacbook air out and started to put links up and some twitter comments for the gig that I'd been too busy and too tired to do last night. The light was making me squint and I realised it wasn't from my screen. I looked out of the window, the sky was glowing brighter than I'd seen it before yet the clouds were a peculiar shade of grey and red angry looking welts, and bruises of green seemed to be spreading across it as I watched. My phone buzzed again, a call from Dan. He was breathless, panicking "Phil we're going to lose contact any second now I love you. The stupid papers and yahoo were wrong, the worst isn't over it's just coming we've got minutes to get safe, anyone in a plane is toast".
My jaw dropped open "What!... I mean I love you too... but What!" I could hear the increasing buzz of others around me having similar conversations. Static was kicking in on the line and Dan was becoming less clear. "Phil don't panic ok, but I'm kind of stuck. I took a shortcut to Starbucks this morning and that weird buzzing and crackling started happening again. There were people with loudspeakers telling us what I just told you about getting safe"... crackling"Dan, are you there?!" "Lights, phone signals, traffic lights everything - everything started going downhere Phil, I'm surprised there's still enough of a signal for this"... "Dan.. you are breaking up - tell me where you are I'll get to you as soon as I can... or get someone else to you" or die trying I thought. "I tried 999 Phil but the lines are jammed" I could hear the fear in his voice now "I... I couldn't get through, no one knows I'm here... I'm" the line crackled and fizzed I could barely make him out, "I think the building next to the street has collapsed... I'm in... well it looks like a little cave made of dust and bricks and...I could even stand up in one place if it wasn't for my leg..."
"Dan! God are you alright... Dan!..which Starbucks, where are you!." … The line went dead just as a roaring noise filled my ears. Screaming, bags flying, people flying. This is it, I thought, I'm going to die! Not knowing if Dan will be ok and my mouth needing washing out with soap and water because ... "Fuck!..."
I felt as if I was just waking up after a tipsy night out, uncomfortable, dry mouthed with a general feeling of ouch! I put my hand to the top of my head and winced, clearing my fringe out of my eyes I could see streaks of crimson on my palm and fingers. Was I bleeding? Yes a little bit, but most of it was coming from the horrific sight above me. I was lying on a steep embankment the train looming over me at a forty five degree angle like something out of 'Inception'. All jagged teeth where despite imopact resistant glass several windows had shattered in their frames, some windows bowed out crazy paved but not broken, what was worse was the things caught in some of those teeth. People alive and dead impaled on several jagged teeth of glass. One crying out for help the others just lying there.
The young woman above me was long gone but her blood painted the top of my head and one side of my face. I leaned to the side and threw up like never before, wiping frantically at my face with whatever I could find. I saw stars, my tears and snot mingling with my vomit which made me feel more sick.
I just could not believe what I was seeing. People wandering around in a daze, some covered in blood, one man even missing a hand, frantically trying to wrap something around it to staunch the blood. Some trying to help those stuck. Some trying to get phone signals, one person even trying to use an i-pad all desperate to contact their loved ones. Jesus, Dan! I thought and did exactly the same as the other poor half dead zombies and tried my phone, but like them I failed. No signal, anywhere.
As I walked I heard a whimper. Caught by some clothon a metal spike where the frame had broken when the window had partially detached; incongruous holes in the glass as if pieces had been cut out and removed giving it almost a lace like appearance was a little baby. My stomach lurched, poor thing. I reached up and tried to untangle it's blanket and draw it into my arms safely. "There you go little one" I couldn't help but coo at the helpless little bundle I hugged to me. Its big blue eyes fixed on mine, little flecks of blood on it's face and one balled fist in it's mouth sucking furiously it seemed unharmed thank God. Must be hungry I thought, and marvelled at how it was not crying it's eyes out at this moment. I hope it's parents are alive.
I shouted inside the carriage hello, anyone missing a young baby! There was no answer, the bank was not as steep here and the train was more upright. I decided to risk very carefully climbing in to see if I could see anyone who knew or could take the baby. I had to get moving to get to Dan. A young woman, so pretty with blond curls and hardly any make up just fresh natural skin with startling blue eyes sat in the seat next to the window. Her pale blue eyes glazed in shock. "Hello?" I said cautiously, she was breathing, very very shallow, and fast. Just her eyes moved to me, and big soft tears spilled onto her cheeks, the words "my baby" were breathed not voiced as the tears flowed.
As I leant forward to see what was wrong a young man breathless and bloody but ok clambered in. Thank God he cried, beaming at me, "thank you" taking the baby as he spoke..."Melissa? Love are you ok?" he sounded more worried now the young woman hadn't spoken or moved. As if seeing her baby reunited with her husband safely she relaxed, her breathing slowed and stopped. The man screamed and set the baby off crying, he flew to his wife, as he touched her cheek she started to slump to the side and I could see a large thin sheet of glass had been embedded just above her waist cutting her almost in two. For the second time that day I was heaving, though nothing was left to expel.
There wasn't anything I could do for this poor family, not now anyway. I had to get to Dan, did he have enough air, was he badly hurt? Could the building collapse further, Oh God I didn't want to think about it, I have to go now!
I try and remember which station we passed through last to try and get some idea of my bearings, no one seems to have any idea what happened to cause our predicament but someone does remember that the station wasLichfield Trent something?.. If my i-phone had been working I could have used it to help me find my way to Dan, as it was for now I was going to have to follow my nose. I'm sure there were lots of people still about with transport, not everything could be fried surely.
Dan tried hard to get his bearings. He couldn't believe the irony of this shit storm, all the technological advances, our reliance on electricity all the fantastic things he loved so much were the only reason they were in such trouble now. No electricity, no technology no problem, nothing for the solar storm to affect. People and buildings without electricity were pretty much fine as long as it didn't go on for years, and it wouldn't. If you get out of this Dan Howell, he thought, you and Phil are moving to a self sufficient small holding selling your computers and you're going to read books, no matter how hard Phil finds going cold turkey. Who am I kidding I thought Phil would rather cut off a leg than be without his phone for a day.
He'd heard the most terrible roar just as his phone went dead, and there had been no signal since, he'd already thrown up once after that with the fear that something had happened to Phil. He was so scared, scared for Phil, and scared for himself. It's was so dark and stuffy in here, but some light must be getting in or he wouldn't be able to discern any shapes at all. he could see tiny pinpricks of light here and there allowingfine dusty beams tostab through the darkness. Logic crept in for a moment as he realised with great relief that if light was finding the odd chink to get through then so could air.
His left leg hurt so bad, but he tested it and didn't think it was broken by some miracle; though it hurt like a mofo when he flexed it. Dan's mind raced should I try and pick the rocks apart or wait for help...If I start scrabbling perhaps I could bring the whole building down, cos that's what we Danosaurs do, we break things. Best wait and shout a bit now and then he decided as he sat with his legs pulled up under his chin, arms wrapped around his legs. Starting to shake, and cry. Shock now finally and gradually taking hold as he thought of Phil and all the other people he loved that could be gone, the cold crept into his bones though it should have been quite warm in this enclosed space.
How far are we from London I wondered, trying to work it out in my head, must be at least a hundred.. hundred and twenty five miles ish. I had to stop clenching my jaw, it was starting to hurt...My head was spinning and really starting to ache now. I ruffled my fingers impatiently through my hair it was still a bit sticky and crispy with blood, and screwed my eyes up as if that would help clear my head. I tried to work out how long it would take if the worst case scenario happened and I had to walk all the way. About 4 days walking for 10 hours every day... Noooo that was way too long Dan could be dead by then, he certainly would if he didn't have water even if everything else was ok. I had to find transport, or walk non stop... Even if the emergency services got to him quickly I wanted to be with him.
I noticed a lot of people were starting to drift from the scene, some people had crafted make shift 'sleds' and were dragging unconscious loved ones towards the town. Bad Idea I though if they had a back or neck injury they could do a lot of harm, on the other hand if they were dying and no ambulances got here in time then they could just save their lives. I realised did anyone even know that we had crashed and where, all communications were down to make emergency calls. So scary and confusing, we hadn't heard any ambulance sirens coming our way, though we could hear them in the dim distance. I could also see what looked like fires dotted around further back towards the town. Do I start to walk now or wait on the off chance that help might arrive. Probably the wrong decision in my befuddled state but I started to walk. The need to see Dan, to hold him was ripping me apart.
I was surprised at how few cars were actually on the roads, there were many abandoned, and a few pile ups that I really really didn't want to look at. Traffic lights had failed, and I guess scientists would know the answer as to how electromagnetic radiation affected cars now. In big enough doses clearly it messed them up, but good. Something to do with the alternator I think... which might mean that older cars could be ok? or perhaps very new ones with extra shielding... I wasn't a nerd for nothing. I seemed to be right a few Oldsmobiles trundled past me. All too full to stop and pick up a tall black haired serial killer. I presume that's kind of what I looked like with all the blood and such. I trudged along the road for a few hours, my hand clutching Lion as if my life depended on it. It was the last thing Dan had touched before we parted that I still had on me.
I had to keep my pace up but I wasn't used to this level of activity and my body ached from the accident. Keep on keeping on I though to myself, think of Dan.
Just as I started to despair, my throat dusty, dry and aching and all my limbs singing out in pain, partly from the accident and partly from lack of exercise, an ancient mustard yellow Hillman Avenger pulled up rather creakily next to me. A young woman with an older lady sat in the front. The window rolled slowly down and the younger said "you look pretty beat up, accident? Could you do with a lift?" I opened my mouth but at first nothing came out my throat was so dry, and I was close to tears without having realised it. Eventually, thankfully before the poor women took me for an imbecile and drove off I squeaked "yes please".
The old car was surprisingly comfortable in the back despite not having massive leg room. As we chatted learning each others life stories Meredith admitted she couldn't understand how this old car worked when her Ford Focus wouldn't, her Nan was inordinately proud of this fact. We decided we couldn't even be sure it was anything to do with the fact that this model of the Avenger had a dynamo not an alternator or whether it had more to do with the fact that it has been sitting in a large wooden shed with loads of sheets of misshapen lead piled on top of it, left over from her "gran'pappies", roofing business. Whatever it was I was grateful. Thank God they were going to London, about 4 miles from my stomping ground, and where I though Dan might be.
Meredith and her Nan were looking for her brother who she'd not heard from since the disaster. As we drew up for me to disembark and start the search for 'the husband' as I was now referring to him in my head. We had a silent moment and hugs all around. We wished each other luck, exchanged addresses and phone numbers just in case everything got back to normal. I liked this family and was very grateful for their help, we would keep in touch somehow.
It was difficult to find my bearings, I hardly recognised the place more debris than I had expected littered the streets, building leaned at odd angles and smoke still rose from some. I passed through areas where some minor looting was going on, and quickened my pace so as not to get caught up in some over excited crowd. Some areas were so quiet and still it was as if the population had been teleported out.
Many of the worst effects of the solar blast had been cleared away, thank God there were no more uncleared fatalities to sear into my brain. God I ached to be with Dan, please, please, please let him already be tucked up at home, or at hospital already I prayed, let him be ok. I didn't have time to check home first because if he hadn't been found and was still buried every second counted.
Lost in my thoughts I realised I'd made a mistake, not taking enough notice of my surroundings so desperate to get to my Dan my mind focussed on him and only him. I'd walked myself into a run down kids park, way to go to fence yourself in Phil I thought. A voice rang out "Oy you're that dick 'ead off Youtube aren't ya?!". Oh shit my hand flew to my mouth at my continued internal swearing, not what I need right now smart arsed teenagers looking for a fight. I tried to put on my friendly smile and keep calm, and said as politely as I could "yes I am". "My sister watches you", "that's nice", Yea said the small one all wiry and taught like a pole cat, "she says you're a gay boy"; yeah faggot I heard whispers from the other is not going well I thought. "I don't want any trouble I'm just trying to get to my friend to make sure he's ok". My heart sank as one or two of them parroted parts of my sentence back to me in an overly effeminate mockery.
I'd forgotten quite how homophobic some people could be, my circle of friends were all very laid back about sexuality, you love who you love. I started to carefully judge my surroundings looking for escape routes without being too obvious about it. "You're fucking that other lanky one, in the videos with you?".
Perhaps this wasn't the time to make a stand but I replied instinctively I always found it hard to lie. "yes, he's my boyfriend". I think my candour took them aback for a moment because I found myself looking at the ring leader as I'd mentally noted him, almost with a moment of understanding passing between us.
It wasn't long though before the ferretyone sprang forward with a look of such vehemence on his face it took my breath away before he even landed his punch. I'd never had a physical fight before it just wasn't me. The thought of Dan terrified, probably hurt wondering where I was, time ticking on must have turbo charged the adrenaline pumping into my system. I almost felt like one of my pokemons transforming from cute and fuzzy to imposing and power charged.
I took his punch, grazing the side of my face as I'd turned my head in anticipation. I regained my balance and swung my fist in response and was more than surprised to find it connect with a resounding dull thunk against his pointy chin. To my complete shock he went over! Before I could congratulate myself I was in the middle of a thrashing, pounding mass of limbs, spitting venom and epithets at me. I managed to get one or two more punches and kicks in, but a blow to my gut and a sharp cutting pain across my chest had me doubled over and seeing stars. Eventually all I could do was cower and take the blows there were too many of them for me to stand up to alone, Dan I've let you down was all I could think as things started to get woozy.
Then I noticed something that gave me hope. I'd spotted it earlier when I'd scanned around me, but in my panic I'd lost my bearings and didn't realise it was so close. A gap in the railings with a promising looking alleyway across the road. When I look back it was almost cartoonish what happened next. I crawled and scrabbled between their legs, my feet sliding and losing traction on the wet grass and mud that had grown up between the paving the railings were so close I was through them before they'd realised I was no longer under their boots and they were now kicking each other.
They quickly spotted my move though and turned to me red faced and hyped up, I thought my days were numbered,they could easily catch me if they came straight after me. I wasn't the fittest of human beings; but there was the gang leader standing in front of the gap. He turned his head and looked me in the eyes and gave an almost imperceptible nod before he folded up on the floor. Shouting that he'd been hurt, drawing their attention and blocking the gap at the same time. I'd never been so grateful to a bully in my life. I ran for the alley as fast as I could move. Every limb aching and screaming for me to stop, but I didn't stop, not until I reached the end of the alley, not until I was more than a mile away from them. I couldn't be stopped before I reached Dan I just couldn't.
Sometimes your body just takes over though and I crumbled to the floor and slumped against a wall next to me, great purple bruises starting to spread across my skin, and not for the first time today the taste of blood in my mouth. I started to cry, I couldn't hold it in any longer I'd been strong I'd fought my way here and now I was stuck, my legs were like lead, God knows how Dan was, I sobbed like a four year old. Great racking shudders ripping through my body, I didn't even realise I was calling out Dans name between sobs. There were some people around, mostly busy with their own problems but I must have created more of a commotion than I realised, I was completely disorientated and had no idea what sort of area I was in or where, or what to do. A middle aged couple approached me with concern.
Son, what's wrong, you don't look good do you need help? Startled out of my pain and grief I looked up, "yes, yes I do". Not thinking of my own situation "my boyfriend" I couldn't bring myself to refer to him as just my friend. "He's trapped somewhere around this area I think, and I can't find him, he's hurt and he needs me" I trailed off unable to breath. The man was already all business, right son what's your name, "Phil", "right Phil" my wife will make her way to the hospital to warn them that there is someone trapped under fallen masonry in this area, what's your .. boyfriend's name Phil" "Dan Howell" the man turned to his wife to discuss what they were going to do. "She'll ask at the hospital too, ok, incase he's already there". Hopefully someone can come out even if it's a paramedic on a bicycle. "I'll help you look and see if we can drum up anyone else to help us look", "thank you so much, I'm so grateful", I sniffled now embarrassed by the mess I was in, physically and emotionally.
"What's your name sir", "John, I'm John and this is my wife Eileen". "Do you think you should check home first son, just in case he's ok and waiting there?". I should I said but what if he's not and he's here somewhere dying. "How far would you like to trust a stranger Phil" he asked looking into my eyes. I don't have many options right now I replied. "Well son, I know the person that owns the cafe behind us, we've just been in to see her. Have you got your keys?". "Sorry?" I mumbled not sure for a moment what he meant... "your house keys son, would you mind if Carol checked out your house for you, so if he's there she can let him know what's going on and he can come and find you". I fumbled in my pockets, and by some miracle my keys were there, tucked deep into my back pocket. I slumped against the wall feeling drained as I watched John disappear into the cafe and come out moments later with a chubby lady who looked over at me all concern and empathy. I tried to smile weakly but even my face muscles were finding it hard to work. I told Carol the address, and now she also knew she was looking for an apartment not a house.
John offered leant down and tucked his big strong arm under mine and help me stand. It took a lot more effort than I would have liked and my trousers were hanging around my butt the way Dans usually did. I think I'd lost weight on my trek. "Woah, are you ok there son" as I stood with more difficulty than expected. "I didn't notice before son but let me look at you', he started to lift my shirt. What the hell I thought, but it quickly dawned on me why. My shirt was stuck to my body, the red and black check pattern had disguised the colour but I was bleeding from a six inch gash diagonally across my chest, just above my nipple. I suddenly felt very faint, but managed to whisper "I'm ok, I feel better now that I know there is some help and hope".
Eileen a tiny lady but quick as lightning was already a speck in the distance on her way to try and summon more professional help, perhaps someone who could help clear the debris without causing further collapse when we found Dan. "I don't want to worry you but there's been a lot of physical damage to this area Phil, a plane came down half a mile away and the debris and shock waves took some buildings out completely", what was he geting at, "fires caused by electrical surges weakened other buildings, and there were even one or two small explosions sending side and front walls tumbling down". If Dan is trapped he's either going to be ok by now or he's already gone. I looked up into his eyes, my eyes almost popping out of my head, I started to retch for the third time. "What I'm trying to say is you need some help first boy before you can help him".
I felt John guide me into his friends cafe. I started to protest tears coming again now, I needed to find Dan, "if he's ok a few minutes to check you out won't harm, if he's not... so keep still and let me look at this ok.." The lady who'd taken over at the counter took one look at us and rushed over. John busied himself in the back room while the lady who name I'm ashamed to admit I never found out brought me hot tea and toast, and tried to keep me from the hysteria I could feel creeping up on me. John returned with a first aid box and what looked like a dish cloth. "Don't worry fresh out of the packet he said, no bugs on this"... "Dan!" I cried... we'll find your Dan for you boy don't you worry. Later I found out that this wonderful man had got the few people who had gathered in the cafe to scour the streets while he fixed me up as best he could so no searching time was lost.
The sting of the wet cloth against my skin jolted me back to my senses a bit. John had doused it in TCP which stank the place out. "you'll be needing stitches in that, but I've got the edges to sit together as best I can". He continued, by peeling the backing off several long thing plasters and placing them along my wound like stitches. Then peeled a long adhesive gauzy type dressing and placed it lengthwise covering the whole lot. "Take that filthy shirt off now son, here you'll have to use my fleece for now".
I swallowed hard, what John had said earlier didn't sound good, the force of these collapses could have inured Dan in ways that killed him slowly. We had to find him soon! My voice still cracking, the tears now something that were just coursing down my face almost unaware of them. I just couldn't help it my tear-ducts had a mind of their own. I could hear other voices calling Dan's name, and John and I joined the search. John knew the places that had partially or totally collapsed and led me to them one by one. A lot of them had Tape and warnings put up around them, quite a few collapses had been or were being cleared already which gave me hope. If I somehow found Dan perhaps some of the people clearing elsewhere could come and help us. Dan I cried, Please Dan shout if you can hear me. We'd been looking for about an hour when I spotted a Starbucks, I'd lost my bearings as the city landscape had changed, also I don't know how clearly I was thinking at that point after all I'd been through. I hoped it was the one Dan had been going to when he got caught.
What was happening, I couldn't understand it Phil had said he'd come for me hadn't he, and I trusted him with my life. What if something had happened to him. I'd been here for what felt like days, but I suspected wasn't quite that long. Well in my cold and fuddled state I told myselfif something had happened to Phil it didn't matter if I was found did it, I could stay here trapped in this little box. It could become my tomb because without Phil there was literally no point in getting out anyway. I slipped back into my half awake half asleep delirious world alternately full of hugs from Phil, and cold hands clawing at me trying to carry my soul to hell. "Phil I murmured I can hear you Phil"... I clawed my way out of my dream world I could swear I heard him... "Dan! Please Dan! Please..."... "Phil?" I croaked my voice dry from lack of fluids, and from crying for pretty much ever. I tried louder...
"Phil, I can hear something" I stopped as still as a statue "Dan!"... God yes! I could hear something coming from my right, we'd already passed this pile of rubble and were walking back past it to turn down another side street. "Dan! I can hear you! We'll get you out"... Don't get your hopes up son John's voice in my ear... It might not be your Dan, his voice is very weak you might not recognise it. I do I said I'm sure it's my Dan, and if it's not well we'll have saved someone won't we?. "Of course Phil, every person saved is good" I just .. oh lets get help to get this boy out whoever it is.
I started to clear rubble but didn't want to get too stuck in incase I caused it to collapse on Dan. Shouting, "Dan, stay still we can hear you.. save your breath, don't do anything that might make this pile of rubble move". I have never been so glad to see a stranger in all my life, as Eileen rounded the corner with several people. "Thank goodness! The others said they though you were down here and had found something". These are volunteers from the hospital and fire service. One of the volunteers took me aside and told me they couldn't use their usual methods of assessing the scene for the best way to proceed, such as testing for gas leaks, sending cameras in to see how Dan was placed in the 'void' amongst the rubble etc. So we had to move carefully clearing slowly by hand. They braced the wall as they went along so the part of the building that was still standing wouldn't collapse on him and us.
After what seemed like forever, someone shouted we've got to him. I couldn't believe it, I tried to see through the 18 inch hole that had been cleared, "Stand back let some air get in there it's been pretty stuffy". I held my breath Dan looked like a dusty bear crouched in it's cave, well morel like slumped; not moving, my heart nearly stopped. Then with a shuddering breath he lifted his head, blinking, his hand held up to his eyes to stop the glare... A very dry croaky voice came "what time to you call this Philip". I burst into laughter I wanted him in my arms now. In another ten long minutes I did. We could never ever thank those people enough and I'm sure we'll stay friends with John, Eileen and Carol for ever.
The paramedics looked us over swabbing at cuts and bruises. Giving me a massive injection of antibiotics, and even stitching my wound right there in the cafe with only topical anaesthetic and some local to numb it. Which I took far more stoically than I ever would have thought possible. They did their best to check for broken bones without the use of X-Ray equipment, and seemed happy that neither of us had any, though Dan's leg was badly bruised, he had only pulled the muscle which was painful but not going to need hospital treatment. The paramedics gave us both some prescriptions and told us to get to a hospital to double check everything, but they were fairly sure we were just going to be very very sore for a few weeks. We were also going to have to face the daunting and scary task of contacting as many friends and family members as we could over the next few days.
God know how long this mess was going to clear up, and when and how we were going to get our lives back to normal, but all I cared about was that I had Dan, he was alive and he was mine. I wasn't even too concerned about the mobile networks and the internet being so badly damaged that it could take months to get back up and running. I'm sure I'd start to go a bit mental in a few weeks but now all I wanted to do was Dan.
Limping back to our apartment, with Dan flourishing a dashing crutch he looked at me with something new in his eyes, something deeper somehow, something I couldn't quite make out. "So Philip how did you get into such a bloody awful state?!", "what the train crash isn't enough of an explanation", I raised my eyebrows leaning back in mock shock... "Well I heard you tell that nice paramedic that you'd managed to survive the crash with hardly a scratch"... Dan's turn to raise an eyebrow, questioningly. You're all bruised, black eyed, your lip's split and... "Fighting for your honour of course" I interjected.
The world faded away as we drowned in each others eyes..."I'm not your kitten anymore Dan... I'm your lion;because you're my king and I'm your Lion Heart"... Dan's pupils were bled out to black almost engulfing the gorgeous chestnut irises, his breathing was deep almost ragged. I stood in front of him, my mouth curled up at the corner looking up at him all nerves again would he hate me now, had our ordeal changed me too much. He'd always loved my innocence, my ridiculous cuteness as he'd called it and now I really did feel like a lion not a kitten, all grown up and probably scarred by some of the things I'd seen.
Before I could obsess too much in this vein, still leaning on the crutch tucked under his armpit he gently took my hands and drew me too him, cupped my face so tenderly and softly pressed his lips to mine. I could feel the salty taste of his tears and his body shudder as his lips moved gently against mine, not wanting to hurt me on any of my many bruises or cuts. His body tensing as mine responded wrapping my arms around him pulling him against me roughly taking his weight easily as he stumbled a little before transferring his weight onto his good leg. "Sorry Dan I murmured", "mmmm" said Dan his mouth to busy to talk. The pain wracking my body wasn't going to stop me feeling Dan pressed against me, I wanted to feel every millimetre of his skin against mine, damn clothes.
Running both hands up his back either side of his spine, I smiled into the kiss as he moaned. Both of my hands in his hair now bunching it up tugging slightly. His hands moved softly still gentle across my skin from my face until one hand cradled the back of my neck pressing me tighter against his lips. The other had worked back down my spine to my butt. Way to go Phil I though, 'lion' indeed as I squeaked in delighted surprise as he squeezed the cheek of my bottom hard and ground himself into me and made a deep uuhhh noise.
We kissed until we had to stop or we really would have fucked there and then in public. As we reluctantly broke the kiss both breathless and flushed. Dan fixed me with those wicked twinkling eyes, and swatted me across my shoulder, one of the few parts of my body that wasn't bruised or cut, "Really Phil, 'Of Monsters and Men, yeah they're good but you couldn't have thought of a line from Muse to express yourself!..." "Daaaaan!, there's no lion..hearts in Muse I protested" as we walked and limped hand in hand around the corner to our apartment, with no f**ks given as to who saw us.