Derek's thoughts during 2.10: Much Too Much
This guy. This guy, this horrible, problematic guy, was her one night stand? I mean, at least I was…me. I mean, I didn't get into any issues after. Besides my marriage.
I couldn't ever bring myself to tell Meredith about Addison, because I disliked Addison so strongly, and because I honestly had no idea if we would last. Last long enough for Addison to get here, for divorce.
But now Addison and I were trying this whole being married thing. Trying. We'd had sex. It was…exactly like I remembered it, just as good. But it was Addison. The one who slept with Mark. But she made me laugh again; she made me feel connected to the life I used to lead.
But this guy with Meredith? I wasn't over Meredith. I still thought about her, I wanted to talk to her. Bailey told me not to, and as Addison had moved all the way out here, I knew I had to try for Addison too. She was my wife. I had made vows to her, her to me. For the 11 years we were married and the 2 we dated before that, we were best friends. Everyone figured we were some sort of power couple. We were. But now, as much as she wants it, I don't know if we can. I try. But I know she's trying so much harder than I am. She's so sorry. I'm just being an ass. An ass who's not over his girlfriend. And I'm not sorry about it.
Meredith looked embarrassed as this guy kept talking about her one-night stand. I had the urge to reach out and brush the hair away from her face in the way she loved. But I restrained my hand and consulted my clipboard.
Meredith said the pain lessened. Or so she hoped.
She lies.