A/N: Just a quick oneshot I thought of this morning. Becky thinking about what it's like to be one the council. Lyrics are We Are Broken by Paramore. I don't love the ending, but I needed some way to end it. Anyway, please review!
I am outside
And I've been waiting for the sun
With my wide eyes
"April showers bring May flowers," Becky reminded herself, as she sat one the hard public bench, waiting for the bus to come. Friday afternoon, and Becky was sitting alone in the rain. Not that she minded it much. This gave her time to think. Though she was certain her hair must be a mess.
Becky was the only one of the kids who took the late bus home after the show wrapped up for the day. She lived the farthest from the studio, and the only bus that stopped near her house came close to forty-five minutes after the final dance on The Corny Collins Show. On most days, Becky liked having the time to herself. But the rain was getting fairly unpleasant.
Becky was soaked to the skin, despite her flimsy black umbrella.
"Mother! Please listen to me, I-"
"I don't want to hear it right now, Amber. Just get in the car."
Another part of Becky's post-show routine. The von Tussles stayed late after the show was done, and every afternoon she would hear Amber arguing with her mother as the walked from the back door of the studio to Velma's car. She knew she shouldn't intrude. She knew they had no idea Becky would listen to them. The von Tussles were supposed to have the perfect life. They weren't supposed to fight.
I've seen worlds that don't belong
My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize
Tell me why we live like this
But, then again, they were all supposed to be perfect. Every one of the council kids. Perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect lives. Perfect and popular and on TV. But it was all just fake. Becky had seen a lot of kids crack under the pressure to maintain the charade. Being a part of the council was both a blessing and a curse. Sure, you got to dance on TV, you got the show the world everything you were worth. But on the other hand, it was all the stress of high school, multiplied due to keeping up that image of being a role-model.
When Becky had gotten on the show, it was an answer to her prayers. It was an answer to the prayers of all the other kids, really. This was their big break, so they thought. This was it. They were making it to the top. They had been promised fame and fortune and the chance to dance.
Cause we are broken
What must we do to restore
Our innocence
And oh, the promise we adored
Give us life again cause we just wanna be whole
Becky had seen kids break down.
Becky remembered the time she found Jesse Turner sitting in one of the back hallways at the studio, a crumpled history test in his hand. He had gotten a C.
"It's not that bad! You still passed. I don't see the problem," she'd told him. Jesse told her his dad said he couldn't be on the show if he got anything less then a B minus, in any subject. Jesse said he was afraid to go home, and argue with his dad. He couldn't quit the show, he had said. Because Jesse Turner never quit anything.
Becky remembered the time Tammy Linden came to her house, mascara streaming down her cheeks, eyes red from crying. Tammy had run away from home, because she couldn't take her mother pressuring her to be better and better at everything. She had come to the farthest place away from home that she knew. Becky's mom told Tammy to go back home and apologize for scaring her mother like that.
Becky knew that they were all really broken on the inside.
So everyone will have a choice
And under red lights
I'll show myself it wasn't forged
We're at war
We live like this
One time, a boy had quit the show. He said he didn't want to keep it up. It was too much. It wasn't worth it. He should have a choice about what he did in his life…how he dressed, how he spoke, what he ate, and he didn't need to listen to some former beauty queen who was now stuck running a local TV station. So he quit. Only two days later, he was replaced with Paulie Brown.
That put everyone in their place. They saw how fast they could be replaced, without a second thought from Velma von Tussle, or anyone else for that matter. They all realized they had a dedication to the show. This was the lifestyle they choose. They got to sing, they got to dance, they got to be practically famous in Baltimore.
And I'll take the truth at any cost
But was it worth it?
Becky winced as she was splashed by the bus pulling up to the stop, soaking her dress even more.
Was anything even worth it?