A/N: Thanks to Eli, my unofficial beta. Who, even with her four siblings and her fighting over one computer, managed to find time to revise this piece. You do not know how grateful I am to you.
(PS. I added some stuff after she beta-ed it, so I lay claim to all the mistakes here.)
- Please, do not read if you are under age, disturbed and/or offended easily or can't stand gore and character deaths.
Disclaimer: I do not own Shizuru-san (or anything that yummy for that matter) as delicious as that thought is.
Edited: Sep/19/08
Devil's Lyric
By Ankoku.Tengoku
Silence.
Utter silence.
Such a change from mere minutes ago.
They tried to run, but they were too slow.
They had begged. Both of them. But she paid them no mind.
The screams had fueled her wrath as they resounded all around her. And she had enjoyed it. She had smiled and spoken politely as she shredded to pieces their hopes as well as their bodies.
In her contemplative state, she looked around the bloody battleground (which was actually more of a park) until her empty eyes settled at the prone forms on the ground.
Rigid, cold, bloody. Lifeless.
She knew there was no heartbeat; she knew there was no way they'd survived. She had really outdone herself this time. 'They'd have to be lucky to identify the bodies.' She allowed herself to chuckle as the thought entered her mind.
The bodies, which were openly displayed before the out-of-order carousel in the park, battered and barely recognizable: A girl and a boy.
The girl briefly considered leaving them there to be found, but decided against it. That just simply would not do. She had always been best known for her effective (if not quick) problem-solving. It would certainly be of no help to her or her reputation if somehow someone got the pieces of the puzzle together and blamed her responsible.
Because, in her mind, she wasn't.
They had both brought this upon themselves. What with playing with her feelings as well as her sanity. It was no good.
They should've known better than to mess with her.
They had kissed.
She looked down at the pitiful girl, feeling a sense of satisfaction that she hadn't felt in a long while, As well as sorrow, for the girl had only understood her feelings until the very last minute.
She had lied.
And the boy; He should have known better than to touch her property.
Because she had been hers.
And there was no mistake about it.
It had started a few weeks ago. She had introduced him to the gang one afternoon at lunch. She hadn't gotten around the news until a certain red-headed delinquent had texted her (they were friends now, very good friends, at that).
Apparently he was a new student, in the same year, same class as her love. With black hair and eyes dark as coal. He was polite and good-looking and wore glasses. He was also no match for her.
She didn't think anything about it, too reluctant to doubt the other girl, the one who made her heart beat faster and slower at the same time- the most important person.
She had promised. She would try.
So she had thought nothing when she saw them by the shade of her favorite tree (before she- herself had brought it down after a fit of jealousy that was so unlike her.) before walking up to them, to her (she could spend time with her, there was no rule against it, even if the University campus was rather far from here.) and making a conversation.
That day had been sunny and warm- a testament to her feelings then.
"Natsuki."
"Shizuru!" The other girl had been startled, almost sweating in nervousness, and yet, she hadn't realized the nature of the other's feelings, waving it off as the other girl being nervous around her. "Wh- what are you doing here?"
"Because I missed my Natsuki, so I decided to pay her a visit." She had teased good-naturedly. It had the desired effect, for the dark-haired girl rewarded her with a blush.
… Until he ruined the moment, mock-coughing.
And after suppressing the need to roll her eyes, she smiled politely. "Oh, and who might this be?" And unbelievably, Kuga Natsuki had gotten even more nervous. Shizuru'd made a mental note about that.
The boy smiled charmingly (or it would have seemed to someone who was not Shizuru, to her it was just annoying.) "My name is Takamura Kyoji, and I'm Natsuki-chan's-"
"-Friend, he's my friend." Natsuki had been quick in interrupting him, so quick that even, the ever calm Fujino Shizuru had raised an eyebrow at her.
And then she doubted.
It seemed so obvious now. She felt stupid for not noticing it earlier.
He had tried to steal her property.
And he had failed miserably. Oh, how miserable and horrible she made sure his last minutes were.
It hadn't been like before, with her enormous, forever loyal child, Kyohime.
Back then it had been over like a flash. Like magic.
One second, there was the almighty first district, the next, not so much.
Back then, the first district had gone bye-bye in a couple of seconds. Not minutes. Not hours. But seconds.
It had fallen in the blink of an eye.
And it had felt good.
'Still does now.' She wouldn't deny that seeing that much blood, that much destruction sparked a flame deep within her.
That it evoked such passion in her, and that nothing could compare. Not even her love for the dark-haired girl.
"I'm telling you, Shizuru, it's not normal for her to become friends with someone so soon. A boy of all people! Don't you find it suspicious? I sure as hell do!" The redhead had proclaimed one Saturday afternoon.
"You and I are very different, Nao." She still had refused to believe such blasphemy. Because it just couldn't be true.
Because Natsuki was supposed to love her and her only.
Natsuki was hers.
"Fine, whatever, just don't say I didn't warn you when you get your heart all broken." Yuuki had said in her offhanded manner. Then turned serious, her expression somber. "Kuga and her boy toy are on a date today."
"That's not true. Natsuki said she had study group today. With Mai-san."
The younger girl huffed. "That's what she told you? And you believed her?" She shook her head and spoke again, cutting off any comebacks the Fujino heir might've decided to throw at her. "Look. If you want to confirm that what I say it's true or not, go over to Tokiha's"
Shizuru's eyes had sparkled with a light that had not shown itself for nearly a year. "You do realize, Yuuki-san, that if what you say is proved wrong, there will be consequences?" It was a threat.
And the ex-delinquent hadn't seemed fazed even then. Except for the barely noticeable shiver that cursed through her, but that was for an entirely different reason. Still, she held her ground. "Yeah. Just remember that if I'm right, you'll have to make it up to me somehow." She had said, stressing the last word before walking back to her Mama's house.
But what that 'somehow' implied was not lost on Shizuru.
She knew exactly what the redhead wanted.
The news of Yuuki Nao not so secretly wanting certain former Student Council President weren't much of a surprise. After all, no one could resist the charm of a Fujino.
And even then, she had made quite clear that there was no one else that Fujino Shizuru wanted besides Kuga Natsuki. The Nao girl just didn't know when to quit. Knowing her, she would do anything to pity Kuga and Fujino against each other, given the chance.
So everything the younger delinquent had claimed was most likely not true.
But against to her better judgment, she ended up on Tokiha Mai's doorstep. All the while trying to convince herself that she wasn't doing it as the after-effect of everything Nao had said.
It surely was just normal to want to check up on her every now and then, Right? Right.
So she had knocked.
And would never forget the surprised, if not slightly horrified face of one Tokiha Mai as the door opened.
She strolled right in, not giving the other girl a chance to shut the door in her face. "Hello, Mai-san." She had uttered, looking around. No Natsuki.
Her heart broke. She vaguely wondered if it had been loud enough for anyone to hear.
"S-Shizuru-san!" It was pure nervousness what she had detected in her voice. "W-what are you doing here?" She ignored the rudeness of the question.
"Natsuki said she had a study date with you, so I decided to come by and see if she needed anything. Hmm." And she tapped a finger to her lips, pretending to think about it. "However, it appears that she is nowhere to be found. Wherever could she have gone?"
And impossibly, the skilled cook looked even more mortified. "Well, erm, she- she said she had to take care of some things, s-so she left early."
"And would you happen to know where she went off to?"
"W-well she said something about going to sleep early." Came out the lame reply; and Shizuru saw through the lie.
"Hmm. So she wouldn't mind me dropping by her apartment, ne?"
"No! I mean, she looked pretty tired and I… I think it would be best to let her rest."
"Hmm."
"Y-yeah, so…"
Everything was so still then. Like frozen in time. Silent and dull.
It was like a void, trying to pull you in with its devastating stillness.
She felt numb. Couldn't feel anymore.
She couldn't break.
And like everything else, the moment was shattered by the ever-present and cruel reality.
"Tsk. Mai-san is such a terrible liar." She could see fear radiating off the short haired girl as she gulped audibly, and Shizuru mentally applauded herself for doing such a fine job at intimidating. "So, tell me, Mai-san, where did she go?"
"W-who?" Wrong move. Playing stupid would only make it worse.
"Natsuki. Where did she go to, if it was so important?" She stood, her full height making her slightly taller than Mai.
"I- I d-d-don't know what you mea-"
"Please, Mai-san, I'm tired of all this as much as you are, but the thing is, you are making this so much difficult than it really is. I take it you've known about Natsuki's affairs all along so you must know where se went, ne?"
A whimper. "I- I can't really talk about this. I- I promised-"
So there was something to talk about? "Hmm. How strange, you know? Natsuki did something similar not too long ago. She promised me she would love me and only me. You know? And I believe she just broke her promise. Now should you keep a promise, if she hasn't kept hers?"
"W-well, we're friends, and friends-"
Shizuru's eyes narrowed. " Are you implying that Natsuki does not value me as a friend? That this… charade is just a new way for her –and you- to prove just how much trash Fujino Shizuru can take? Are you mocking me?" Her temper was rising and her control was wavering.
But she wouldn't break. She had a reputation to uphold.
"Oh my god! That's so not what I meant! Shizuru-san, please, I didn't-" Mai stopped mid sentence when she was pushed against the wall.
And then, Shizuru's voice was merely a whisper. Both sorrow and disdain laced together. "Oh, But everything's perfectly clear now, Mai-san." Her face was close to Tokiha's now. Too close for comfort, She could practically feel the other girl's breath on her lips. And her voice was lower still. "I don't think you want to cross me, Mai-san. Let's just say that I can get a little… crazy when provoked, y'know?" That sentence enough was proof of her instability resurfacing.
Mai was trapped. And she had a very mentally unstable, red-eyed Fujino in front of her, of that much, Shizuru was sure.
Just how she was sure that in that exact moment Mai felt like a little mouse; a rodent about to be the meal of a very hungry lioness.
And Shizuru smiled then, as she felt the ex- Kagutsuchi user go rigid with fear and more than a little arousal. "Hmm. Such a cute girl I have here. I'm becoming very tempted to just forget all about Natsuki and stay here, maybe." Now, that was a lie, but Mai-san did not have to know about it.
Mai whimpered again, here eyes becoming glazed with lust as Shizuru pushed more firmly against her. Shizuru's smile turned into a smirk. She had the younger girl in her hands now. Definitely no one could resist her. If only certain dark haired girl could see that as well.
"Now, Mai-san," Her voice was sickeningly sweet now. "You will tell me what I want to know, understand?"
A small nod.
"Understand?" She repeated more firmly, her hand wandering low.
"Yes!" A squeak this time. The brunette was really starting to enjoy this.
"Good." Fujino's smile held so much promise. "Now, where could Natsuki be?"
"S-she's in the park. Th- The one that got closed down?"
"With Kyoji-kun?"
Another nod which confirmed her suspicions.
And she was gone. Only when she heard the frustrated groan inside the dorm, just before the door closed, did she allow herself to giggle.
'Maybe I could pay Mai-san a visit later. Give her a reward for being such a good friend.' It was very fortunate that Kanzaki Reito had decided to take his little sister away for the weekend.
She'd taken her blade, a weapon she had taken up shortly after getting her sanity back. It was slightly longer than a normal katana, but long enough to make a difference.
It had been the perfect stress reliever.
At first, it was taken up as a method of self defense, nothing else. She'd tried to ignore the rush she got out of it, tried to ignore the bloody images that came up in her mind every time she practiced.
The ex-HiME tried to respect the speed limits as she drove, but it was rather hard with all the thoughts running through her head.
All she wanted was some closure. If Natsuki had decided that she didn't love her, then she had to hear it.
If that was the case, then so be it.
But she wouldn't break.
It had been going long enough. She hadn't thought anything at first; she figured that Kuga needed her own friends too. It was normal to have friends. Boy Friends.
It was normal for Natsuki to stop hanging out with her, her Best Friend who loved her with a little more than the usual friendly love.
It was normal to cancel her dates with Fujino Shizuru just to hang out with that Kyoji-kun.
After all, they were friends, right?
God, how could she have been so stupid?
How could she have not noticed that there was something going on?
'But not anymore, Natsuki is mine. She will always be mine. I won't let anything or anyone take her away from me.' Even if she had decided the course of action, it didn't necessarily mean she was ready to accept it.
Natsuki was supposed to love her, damn it!
Not anyone else, not Mai-san, not Mikoto-chan and definitely not that Kyoji.
Natsuki was hers. She would not tolerate anyone interfering with their love. Specially that Takamura Kyoji. She'd rather die before he could touch her property.
And yet, that's how she found them. Locked in a lover's embrace and about to kiss.
And then, they were kissing. So chaste, so faint.
So disgusting.
She briefly wondered what it was that Natsuki saw in the boy.
She was going to kill him. She was damned if she didn't.
No one touched her property and lived to tell.
She smiled pleasantly, hiding every negative feeling from view and walked over to them, her blade sheathed at her side in a desperate attempt to keep her composure. It didn't mean anything. It just made her feel safe.
She wouldn't break. Shizuru Fujino did not 'break'.
All she had come for was closure. Seeing what she wasn't ready to believe didn't exactly mean it was true. She had to hear it.
Her heart couldn't break anymore.
"Ara, what a surprise to see you here. Natsuki-san, Kyoji-kun." She had to play nice, for now.
And she obtained the desired effect on Natsuki as both lovers separated. "S-Shizuru! W-w-w- I… It's not what it looks like!" The Kuga girl eyed the blade nervously.
'Why are you looking so confused, boy? Hasn't she told you about us?' She thought sardonically as she directed her smile at the male in question.
"Fujino-san. What a pleasant coincidence."
"Coincidence indeed." Her smiled grew enough to compare with the Cheshire cat's; something primal in her had awoken.
Something that wasn't pleasant at all.
"S-Shizuru, let me explain." Natsuki interrupted.
'Feeling guilty, Natsuki-chan?' Her right eyebrow yearned to twitch, but she merely redirected her gaze to the other girl.
And Natsuki's eyes widened.
'She sees it now. Look at what you do to me, Natsuki.' There was barely veiled insanity in those burgundy eyes. And Kuga Natsuki was quite scared.
'Hmm. Yes, feed me with your fear. Natsuki, it's time you really see what I'm truly capable of.' Because the carnival had been children's play. This time it wouldn't.
This time she was serious.
Probably more than she'd ever been in all her life.
"There's nothing to explain, my Natsuki. I understand." No. She couldn't do it. She couldn't let that obsidian feeling take hold of her anymore. She couldn't break. It wasn't right.
But it felt so good.
"You do?" A hopeful question.
"Of course." 'All I understand is that you're mine, and that this… boy wants to take away what's rightfully mine.'
"Um, I don't want to sound rude Fujino-san, but, um, Natsuki and I were rather… well, busy. And um…" He trailed off, looking embarrassed.
"Of course." It was hard to keep the smile now; she knew that if she didn't get out of there soon, she would break. "Well, then, I'll be off. It was good to see you both. Natsuki. Kyoji-kun." She nodded once and stepped back.
… Only to be pulled back again by Natsuki's voice. "Wait."
"Hmm?" She tried to look as indifferent as she could when she turned to the younger girl. 'Please, let me go. I don't know how much more I can hold on, Natsuki.' Her facade was cracking, she couldn't hold it together anymore. All the hurt, all the hope, all the hate, all the love... it was suffocating her.
"I'm so sorry about this." It was sincere, or at least it sounded sincere.
'I'll bet.' She thought with a scoff. Her emotions were going high wire now. "Yeah, well. I have places to go." Uncharacteristically standoffish, she turned once again and was about to walk away until…
"…I love you"
Thinking back on it, Shizuru would definetly pinpoint that exact moment as her breaking point. It didn't matter whatever happened next. All she had known is that everything she had worked so hard for, everything she ever hoped for in life had been cruelly taken from her grasp.
'Always close, but not enough- never enough. And then, you are gone, just like that. Never mine... It's always been like this, hasn't it, My Dearest Natsuki? My, you are such a tease...'
...
...
'...How dare you.'
Her eyes dilated and took another shade of red.
The action of carrying her sword around took a whole another meaning.
All she could see was blood. All she could hear was a terrible sound that threatened to break her eardrums. All she could taste was the bile that had risen from her throat to her mouth in a false attempt to stop that bizarre feeling that coursed through her body.
She was seeing red.
And she had snapped then; unsheathing her blade and swinging at full force as she turned.
Luckily, Natsuki had quick reflexes, so she had missed it for mere inches.
The little boy hadn't been so lucky.
She had always prided herself in doing things through. In finishing most of what she'd ever started.
This was one of those things.
A scream pierced the night as red splattered beautifully, staining her white skirt forever.
He had lost his hand.
And in the end, would lose so much more.
And sure enough, after the first drop of blood was shed, every other limb from his body was savagely ripped.
Natsuki had tried to stop her then, after the shock of seeing so much blood had worn off. But she hadn't let her.
It had been too late anyway. The boy had died ages ago.
She tried to remember any other time when Natsuki had showed that much fear after she (Shizuru) had turned and swung any type of weapon her way.
There was none.
Not even that time, which felt so long ago.
There was no point in blaming her for killing a human being now, in spitting on her for taking a life again. Shizuru was beyond heartbroken, and Natsuki seemed to understand now.
One false move, one little thing she'd say could set her off.
One little mistake could cost Natsuki her life.
So Kuga had tried to reason with her, with words of love and devotion, things like: "It will not happen again" and "I'm sorry." And her favorite: "The only person I love is you, Shizuru. He was nothing more than an experiment. He wasn't important." And some others, most of which fell on deaf ears.
They were all fake promises, she guessed.
It didn't matter, one way or the other. She would make sure Natsuki didn't question her love again.
A little part of her tried to stop whatever was happening, telling her it wasn't right. That she'd promised to change, that they could still fix things. Sadly, it had been smothered by the bigger half of her.
What were promises made of anyway?
What were promises made of, if not from empty feelings and false words?
That sound again; that terrible sound that reminded her of death and despair.
And she couldn't hold it anymore.
She smiled again, at Natsuki. "My Natsuki."
And the younger one had seemed almost relieved. "Yes. Yes, I'm yours, Shizuru, only yours."
"My Natsuki." Shizuru repeated, opening her arms wide, inviting the other girl for an embrace.
Kuga took it, sighing in relief as she gripped Shizuru's shirt like a lifeline (and it was, in a way.) The taller girl did the same.
"Yours."
"Mine. Forever."
"Yours. Forever."
"I love you, Natsuki."
"I love you too, Shizuru." And they had kissed.
But the mistake was bound to happen. The one thing that would set Shizuru off like a rocket.
The tiny, almost insignificant factor that ended completely with Fujino's sanity.
Natsuki had flinched.
And that had been the moment in which all of Fujino Shizuru's fears and doubts had an answer.
It was in that same moment that Shizuru realized that Kuga Natsuki could and would never love her. Not in the way she wanted.
Apparently, Natsuki hadn't realized her slip, and even if she did, it was too late anyway.
After pulling back from their last kiss, Shizuru crushed their bodies together and spoke in her ear. "It's a shame that Natsuki does not feel it the way I do."
And Natsuki had cried out as the blade pierced her ribcage completely.
With a deft flick of her wrist, the college student slashed left and right shamelessly, thoroughly eviscerating her.
And as The Body fell, there was silence.
Utter Silence.
But she was still there, looking at her only love, memorizing every detail for one last time.
Saying goodbye in the only way she knew how.
But at the same time, it wasn't a farewell, it was more along the lines of an "I'll see you again." And "Until then."
And then she realized that the sound had started again.
And she was there now. In that abandoned park, sitting on a worn out horse in that carousel that seemed cursed.
She managed to realize through the haze in her mind, that the guilt hadn't caught up with her actions yet.
She wondered if it ever would.
Because surely killing the love of her life shouldn't feel this good, right?
Taking an innocent's life shouldn't be this satisfying, right?
And that horrible sound, which she was getting used to, shouldn't still keep ringing in her ears, right?
That sound which was worse than the silence she'd had to endure after the killings.
The sound which she'd learned existed only when she went on these little rampages.
This forbidden sound which tried to swallow her whole and suffocate her into submission.
Because it was with this sound, that Fujino Shizuru learned that she could do anything she wanted to, without worrying about the consequences.
This sound, which was so familiar and yet so very new.
The sound, she thought, that symbolized hell on earth.
The one song which helped her get rid of her past once and for all.
The song in which she was able to free herself from the tight binds of love.
The ear-splitting nightmare that embodied the devil himself.
The Devil's Lyric.
And it was then, that Princess Shizuru was reborn.
Notes:
Devil's Lyric is a track found on the Silent Hill Games. It also was the track that inspired me for this story. It's awesome and goes really well with the atmosphere I tried to give to this story. Now go and listen to it.
The term Princess Shizuru is a reference to Shizuru's mentally-unstable status as HiME in the second half of the anime, as I see her as the true embodiement of a HiME (or how a HiME should be in my mind, anyway), without all those petty doubts and confusions that Mai and the others are subjected to throughout all 26 episodes. I find Shizuru a really capable girl, in a sure-of-herself kinda way. She never questions nor denies her love for Natsuki, and she also never wavers in her decisions. I find her very... unique.
The character Takamura Kyoji is actually from one of the many HiME universes. He appears in Mai-HiME: Unmei no Keitouju. But appart from his name, no connections to the game are made. There is also a tiny, almost non-existant reference to another Mai-HiME universe. See if you can find it.
Lastly, I do encourage feedback and such. Fellow writers understand the meaning that reviews have on amateur writers such as myself. I, however, will not tolerate mindless flames about how I killed or intimidated your precious characters, and how much of a bitch I am for doing so.
Thanks for reading.
