It was a hell of a drive and a detour but John knew that he had to do it, he had to just...see.

His dream was still so damn fresh in his mind and he eagerly, and a touch desperately, replayed it over and over again, holding on tightly onto it. Mary, still just as beautiful as he remembered, his boys all grown up and damn heroes of the world.

The four of them just having a dinner together, a simple easy dinner. Mary had made her casserole and they ate and were laughing and were just being a family. He dreamed about that often but never this clearly and never did it make his chest tighten as this one did.

He debated whether to write down the entire dream into his journal to help him to remember it and decided to do so later on. When he reached his next motel.

But for now…for now he was just focused on something else. Something he desperately needed to see.

He just wanted to see Sam at Stanford, make sure that he was alright and safe and busy with school and studying. He'd just drive by, get a glance, and leave to meet up with Dean.

Simple, easy, and fast. Sam never needed to know.

He thought for a moment of the Sam he had dreamed, they spoke to one another and had reached some sort of content and acceptance with one another, no screaming, no yelling, no arguing on either side.

He had spoken with his youngest son about something that the both of them needed to say.

"I don't think about our fights, I think about the fact that I never got to say goodbye."

John closed his eyes and shook slightly for a moment. He didn't want to think about the saying goodbye, he just wanted to see his son and make sure that he was okay.

He felt the heat when he got into the town and slid his jacket off, throwing it into the passenger's seat.

He parked the car a couple of streets away, if he drove it too close to the school Sam would immediately hear it and know that he was here.

Taking a deep breath he slid his hands into his pockets and walked briskly, trying not to gather any attention on him as he walked through the campus. Some people did shoot him weird looks but ultimately they disregarded him.

It took a lot but he didn't freeze when he spotted Sam, his heart skipping a beat for a moment.

Sam was sitting under a tree, his bag and books beside him. He looked a bit stressed but ultimately healthy, he looked like he was eating properly, his clothes were fitting him, and he had an air of content surrounding him.

John registered all of that within a second as he walked by, not allowing himself to slow down. If he did he risked the fact of Sam seeing him and he wasn't ready to face his son just yet.

He did however allow himself to glance back one more time to see his son, chest clenching when he saw a blonde haired girl had come to his side, leaning in to kiss him.

Sam was going to be fine, he was going to be just fine. Everything was going to be fine.

John ignored the pain in his chest as he walked back to where he had parked the impala and got in, not letting himself think or consider any other alternative other than getting back onto the road and meeting with Dean.

His son was safe and happy and had a normal life, that was all he had ever wanted for his children for all these years. Something he hadn't been able to provide, and he was sure that knowledge was going to haunt him until the end of his days.

Blinking rapidly John tried to push the tears away, thinking about his sons and managing a small smile as he started the car.

He also didn't see Sam looking up at the sound of the engine roaring and glancing towards his direction as he drove away.

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