Drowning

By Silver

June 12th 2008

I know you were hoping for something more

Something unlike me

Something that wasn't dirty, tainted, and useless

I know everything you say right now

You don't mean it

Even if it is 'I love you' or an 'I hate you'

It won't matter

I've been stuck here watching you

Making sure you don't do anything stupid

Ha-ha yeah right I think the roles are reversed

I shouldn't depend on you

I know that now

You've had enough to worry about

Probably why you didn't noticed that I drug your drink

I gently lift you up and walked up the stairs

You groaned slightly and asked me not to leave

I shook my head and laid you on my bed

You were fast asleep and wouldn't wake up until morning

I almost felt bad for not telling you what I was going to do

I left you a letter on your bedside table

Too bad I won't see your reaction



I wanted to laugh it in your face

See this time you won't and can't save me

I'm heading to my death bed

I look at your face one last time before I leave my room

I won't look back

Not this time

I closed the door and locked it just in case you wake up

Not that it would hold you for long

I walked down the stairs and out the door

The night air was cool and nipped at my skin

I wish I grabbed my jacket before I left

But it would only get ruined

I knew you'd want to keep something of me

Considering that I wasn't coming back

We wouldn't see each other ever again

I fingered the blade in my pocket

I slowly pulled it out

I went into the forest and found the river

'Please river, carry out my last request for me' I said

The river seemed to grow in water

I took that as a good thing

I took off my shoes and dipped my feet in the cold water

Not that I thought it would be warm

Fingering the blade again I held it against my wrist

I wasn't sure if I should do this



But if I didn't do this now I may not have a second chance

Sighing I slashed my wrist

It felt good sore but good

I almost regretted the action when you came through the trees

You were yelling my name, yelling at me

I hid the blade and my bleeding wrist behind my back

You looked at me panting

Your eyes were unfocused and confused

I wasn't sure if you could see or smell my blood

I could feel the warm liquid slip down my hand and onto my fingers

It was if it neatly wrapped itself around my fingertips

The sensation was weird as it dripped down slowly making them slick

The red pool was covering the rocks and slowly tainting the river

You looked at me, 'show me your arms'

I looked back 'you should go back'

You growled, 'you want me to go back after I read this'

You threw the letter I wrote to you at me

'You are supposed to be asleep' I snapped back

You took a step closer as I took one back

'You're so pale, please tell me you didn't'

'And so what if I did you never cared'

The look on your face makes me believe I was right

I slashed my other wrist behind my back

I took another look at you before I took another stride backwards

The cold river swept me away



Along with the pathetic remains of my life