A Thousand Broken Promises
Summary: He asked her, "Why?" and she replied, "Because I promised… I promised you I would." SS Oneshot.
Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captor Sakura, Clamp does.
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"Neh, neh, Syaoran-kun!"
Syaoran laughed. He couldn't be any happier. "What is it, Sakura-chan?" he questioned, smiling. Walking through the town on a clear crisp fall day, hand in hand with his amazing girlfriend; Syaoran marveled how cute and carefree Sakura could be at times. "I was just thinking abou-"Sakura suddenly stopped talking, her eyes fixed on a certain display case of a store they just passed by. She took a few steps back, and then stood still, staring absentmindedly into an empty closed gift shop's front display. Syaoran tugged on her hand, glancing at both their reflections in the glass of the display case. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.
The gift store was fairly new, besides the piece of paper that was taped behind the door that read "OPENING SOON"; there was nothing unusual about this particular store. It was just a regular, normal gift store. He didn't understand why Sakura had fallen silent at its presence. "I… I haven't seen this before." Sakura replied slowly. "It's new. See, it's not even open yet." Syaoran pointed to the sign. Sakura's head lifted up from the display momentarily to read the sign. Soon enough, her gaze was back on the display. Sighing, Syaoran looked into the glass to see what Sakura was so interested in. There were several gift-type items laid out neatly. Chocolates, journals, stuffed animals, books, watches, key chains and other items were all there; the usual stuff. Syaoran then looked at Sakura, to see what her eyes were focused on. It was then he realized what she was staring at.
It was light pink transparent glass heart shaped jar, with a cork closing it at the top. Inside there was confetti and small paper cranes all folded neatly and perfectly. "That's so pretty." She murmured. Syaoran smiled, he found it adorable that Sakura was so amazed by even the simplest of things. "I'll buy it for you, okay?" he tugged on her hand again. Finally, Sakura tore her gaze from the heart shaped container and met Syaoran's eyes. "Will you really?" she asked, her eyes full of hope and enthusiasm. "Really. I promise." He said, as her whole face lit up in happiness. They continued to walk; Sakura squeezed his hand, smiling still. Syaoran could feel her bubbling up with joy, over such a little gift. "What is it… why is it so special?" he inquired curiously. Sakura laughed, shrugging. "It just caught my eye… It really is pretty." She sighed.
Syaoran said nothing, as he tried to figure out why the paper cranes had captivated her so. "You know what, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura asked brightly, a question she liked to ask frequently. "What, Sakura?" Syaoran asked back. "I was just thinking… They say… if somebody makes a thousand cranes… they get one wish." Sakura explained. "Interesting." Syaoran agreed. "I'll make you a thousand for your birthday." She decided. "That'd be awesome." He replied thoughtfully. 'But what would I wish for, if I already have everything I want right here?' he questioned himself. He brushed away the thought the moment after, forgetting about it. He didn't need to worry about such trivial things.
"Then…That'll be your Christmas gift." He winked, referring to the pink heart shaped container of cranes and confetti. Swaying their intertwined hands, a habit Sakura often did when she was happy, Syaoran knew that Sakura would appreciate the gift more than anything. Taking a quick glance back at the store, Syaoran decided that he will buy it for her. He promised himself.
He couldn't wait to see Sakura's face as he gave it to her. He could just imagine it now. It would dance up with excitement and awe and she'd probably jump him because she would be so ecstatic. Syaoran loved making Sakura happy. He lived for it. When she was happy, he was happy. He saw the way she looked at that light pink container, and he was determined to get it for her. It'd be the perfect gift. He'd get it as soon as it opened; it'd be such a lovely surprise. He promised he'd get it for her. He promised not only her, but himself.
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"I don't have the slightest idea on what to get Sakura." Syaoran frowned.
"Dude, today's Christmas Eve. You have to decide. Now." Eriol advised. "Yeah, I know. But I want it to be perfect you know? I want it to be special. I want her to be so happy that she'll never forget it. I want it to be perfect." He declared. "Well, good luck, man. It took me months just to figure out what Tomoyo would want. Then another few months to actually find it and buy it." Eriol sighed. "I'm coming up blank. Nothing in the whole wide world is equivalent to her. She means everything to me, and I just don't know what would make her happy. I don't know what materialist thing she would want. Sakura was never really like that." Syaoran ran his through his messy chestnut hair, not knowing what to do. "I've thought of everything. And nothing is special enough for her."
"It is a very hard decision." Eriol agreed.
"ARGH!" Syaoran groaned. "This is driving me completely INSANE!"
Eriol laughed. "Stop whining and complaining. Go out and go FIND something, moron. Or else you'll have nothing. And that's worse than having at least something!"
"I promised her I get her the best present ever!" he burst out. "I promised! It was supposed to be perfect. She was supposed to light up at the mere sight of it. And I can't think of anything!" Eriol then got up and jingled his car keys. "Come on, we have about three hours to go find something before the party starts. You have to get her something. Are you going to be the guy who pulls the 'I'm your present' thing when he secretly forgot to get his girlfriend something? I'm sure there will be something pink Sakura would like that we can find."
"I think I've bought her too many pink things already. Pink has become cliché; stereotypical. Sakura will be expecting it…" Syaoran thought out loud. "Here's an idea! Let's stop thinking about it, and go ACT on it, hm?" Eriol said, jingling his car keys. "Look, I'm such a good nice cousin. Helping you with such, you should be grateful and thankful!"
"Yeah, yeah. I already got your present." Syaoran brushed him off, finally getting up. "Here's another idea!" Eriol exclaimed as they both headed for the door. "Why don't you get something that YOU like for her? She loves you so whatever you like on her, she'll be very appreciative. Tomoyo always asks my opinion on things, even though I'm not that fashionable. To her, it doesn't matter. She wants my opinion… and values it. It will symbolize you in Sakura's life; see how good I am? I'm even giving you suggestions."
Syaoran thought for a moment then smirked. "Something green huh? It'll match her eyes nicely."
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"Syaoran… Syaoran… it's-it's absolutely beautiful!" Sakura sputtered, bewildered at the piece of jewelry in the bright red velvet box. It was a delicate silver chained necklace, with a pink heart shaped diamond as the single pendant. The diamond sparkled in the light, completely dazzling Sakura. "You, really, really, didn't have to." She frowned. Syaoran shrugged. "It reminded me of you. Once I saw it, I knew you had to have it."
"I thought we were supposed to keep it simple… my pen is nothing in comparison to this!" she exclaimed. "I love your pen. And it's the thought that counts, not the price." He reminded. "Yeah, but it's just… this is… a… a… a redundant gift for just Valentines Day… don't you think?" she questioned him. "No, I don't think so. It can represent our love… and what's more special than our love? Should our love have a price? A boundary?" he replied back to her in questions. "Oh, stop being difficult." She teased, blushing.
"I live to tease you, love. And also to see you blush. It such a lovely sight to see." He described sappily as Sakura absentmindedly reached up to touch her pink cheek. "You're beautiful, Sakura." He whispered, drawing her closer to him in an embrace. "Syaoran-kun… thank you. Thank you. Can I put it on now? I love it." her eyes met his and her lips were inches away from his. She leaned in for a kiss, as he circled his arms around her waist, crushing the velvet box between their bodies still in Sakura's hands. He then placed butterfly kisses over her face. Sakura felt his lips brush her cheeks, her eye lids and then her forehead. "Let me put it on you." He said into her ear. Sakura shuddered involuntarily, lifting the box so that he could get the necklace.
He took the box from her. "Turn around." He instructed. Sakura did as she was told. "Lift up your hair for a sec." he said. Sakura watched his arms go around her head then the pendant as it rested against her chest. "There, now turn around so I can see." He turned her around gently as Sakura let go of her hair and took the pendant into her hand. Syaoran placed his hand over hers, smiling down at her. "You are so beautiful." He said.
Sakura nodded, as his arms went around her shoulders to hug her tightly. "I love you, Syaoran." She said softly into his ear, her own arms wrapping around his waist. Syaoran kissed her hair. "I love you too, Sakura." He replied. Sakura felt a wave of happiness swirl in her heart. She felt all fuzzy and hot all over every time he said that he loved her.
"I'll love you forever." He promised.
"Does forever end tomorrow?" she questioned softly. Syaoran shook his head. "Nope. Forever never ends."
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"He bought me this beautiful stunningly gorgeous tiara." Sakura sighed.
Tomoyo frowned. "And that's a bad thing?" she asked, confused. Sakura shook her head. "It's not bad… it's just… well I don't really need it. When am I going to go wear a tiara? I mean, he said that I'm his princess, which was really sweet but… I think it's just a waste of his money." She explained. "Sakura-chan! You are so unromantic! Why can't Eriol be more like Syaoran? I want a tiara!" Tomoyo whined, pouting. "Eriol is such a joker. Remember what he got for my birthday…"
Sakura laughed. "Yeah, he gave you a pot."
Tomoyo laughed, "That sounds bad. Eriol got me a pot for my birthday. Haha." She said, shaking her head. "It was symbolic. That was also the day he asked you to move in with him because he claimed he couldn't cook. You can't say that wasn't romantic." Sakura winked. Tomoyo sighed dreamily. "Yeah, I suppose so. I guess that's probably the best gift he could have given me."
"I think the perfect and best gifts are those that are priceless in money, but valuable at heart." Sakura smiled. "Oh Sakura-chan, you're always such a goodie too shoes. Be happy! The other day was the best birthday you ever had no? I mean, you got to be a real princess in China! With a tiara and everything… what more could a girl ask for?" Tomoyo questioned, giggling. Sakura's eyes darkened.
Tomoyo stopped laughing. "Sakura-chan? What's wrong? You don't want to be a princess? What is it? Did you not get what you truly wanted for your birthday?"
Sakura looked down, refusing to meet Tomoyo's concerned eyes. "I didn't…get what I wanted, Tomoyo-chan." She whispered sadly. "Oh I'm so sorry Sakura-chan. I know I wasn't able to make it, but I had a family emergency… Sakura! Don't be sad! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Tomoyo cried. "No… it's not you Tomoyo-chan. I understand that you couldn't come to my party… but…" Sakura trailed off.
"What… what is it?" Tomoyo probed. "What did you want that you didn't get?
Sighing, Sakura replied, "I want Syaoran to remember his promises."
Reminiscing, Sakura sighed. She was staring into the display case of the same little gift store with the same look she had nearly had a year ago, when she first stumbled upon this store. This time however, was different. She was alone.
A single tear rolled down her cheek, and Sakura angrily wiped it away. Gazing at the same light pink heart shaped container, Sakura remembered all the promises that Li Syaoran had either forgotten, or broken. There were also other things that were different as well. The store was open now and there was a small bell at the top of the entrance door. Frowning to herself and feeling a sudden wave of irritation, Sakura coldly looked away from the cranes, and walked straight into the store.
The bell rang, and the store didn't differ from any other gift store. The storekeeper smiled at Sakura, and on instinct, Sakura politely smiled back. "Is there anything I can help you with?" she questioned. Sakura, lost in thought didn't reply at first. She glanced around the store, for she had never been there before. Collecting her thoughts Sakura replied, "Actually, there is."
She walked up to the counter. "I'm… I… I promised a… friend, that I'd make him a thousand cranes. I saw in your display that pink heart shaped container… and, I was wondering if I could buy some crane paper." Sakura explained. The lady nodded, walking down one of the isles. "Oh yes, this way." Sakura followed her down one of the paper sections. There were many sorts of different types, colours and sizes of paper. "The small sized papers are the cranes in the window." The lady said, pointing to a small box. The box read that it had 1000 sheets of paper for it. It varied in colour and designs. There were also smaller packages with special types of paper that were shiny, glittery, and vibrant with different patterns and designs. Sakura picked up the box with the 1000 sheets of little square paper and a few extraordinary packages. "Will you need something to put them in?" the storekeeper asked gesturing to the shelves beside it that were filled with empty glass containers of all shapes and sizes. Sakura picked out a medium sized heart shaped one. "My dear, do you plan on putting all one thousand cranes inside that?" the lady inquired. Sakura nodded.
"Oh no. That may fit a hundred, but most definitely not a thousand!" she exclaimed. "Why not?" Sakura blinked. "It just simply will not fit." The lady said. "I suggest that you keep it in special box or such until you are nearly finished, then buy the container which you will give it your friend."
"Oh, thank you." Sakura placed the container back on the shelf. They both walked back to the cashier, where the lady rung her up. "He must be very special… no? You're giving him a wish, what more can a person ask for?" the lady laughed. "You must really love him." And at that comment, Sakura grew deathly silent. The emotion drained from her face. Sakura just courteously and forcefully smiled in return, trying to hold back her tears and got out her wallet from her purse to give the lady the money. "Have a nice day, come back soon." The storekeeper said, handing the bag of paper and change back to Sakura.
The bell rang again when Sakura left the small gift store. Her eyes began to water. Glancing back at the same pink container of cranes, Sakura couldn't help but think, "Syaoran-kun… what happened to us?"
Sakura ran home.
She hated crying in front of people. She hated showing weakness, showing her vulnerability. But mostly, Sakura hated herself. She was mad at herself.
Furiously searching for her keys in her purse, Sakura shoved them into the key hole of her apartment and swung the door open, frustrated. She threw her purse, keys, and paper of cranes down on the floor dramatically, her eyes already swelling up with tears. Pulling off her coat, she threw it on the ground too. She bolted to the door and locked it. Taking a deep breath in, Sakura's face began to express anguish. She sprinted to her room where she climbed into her bed to crawl into a protective ball. With her knees at her chest, Sakura cried.
Hours later, when night had approached, Sakura subsided and calmed down. She had stopped shaking with pain and resentment almost a month ago, but still continued to cry daily. Sobbing, Sakura tried to take deep breaths in, but only succeeded in taking small short huffs of air. Sakura shut her eyes tightly. 'Breathe,' she told herself. 'Just breathe.' She needed to take things one step at a time. She could never do anything if it all came at once. She could handle this. She wouldn't give in. Sniffling, she finally sat up. Her eyes were of a puffy red, her nose stuffed up and her hair a complete mess. She was a complete mess.
Sakura would have never imagined the pain would take such a toll on her. She would have never expected it to hurt this much. And nobody could understand the pain that was eating her up inside. Unless that person had experienced having loving somebody with everything they had and so much that they'd be willing to do anything for that person… only for all to be ripped away. Nobody experienced true pain until they have loved, and had that love taken away from them.
It angered Sakura. It tore her up inside. What frustrated her more than anything, however, wasn't the fact that she had lost her happy carefree nature, or even that he had moved on… no… what she hated the most about herself the most was that… that… she was still freaking in love with him.
Even after everything he had done, and all the yelling, screaming, and disputes… she would still jump off a building for him. She loved him with everything she had, and she still did. Sakura was beginning to think that there was nothing in the entire world that could ever change that. Once you truly fall in love, you can not fall out. It's just impossible. It's like going against the laws of nature; it just could not be done. It was like some unwritten rule for love that nobody could ever defy. Once you are truly in love, you stay in love. There's no way out. You're stuck there. Though, if that one somebody loves you back, then you would never want to get out. However, if that one somebody didn't love you in return…
Sakura tried many times to fall out of love. She tried her hardest. She wanted to forget everything about him… she needed to. She locked away all his gifts, all but one that was an exception. It was the pink hearted necklace he had given her for Valentines when he promised that he'd love her forever. Sakura just couldn't let that memory go. If she did, she'd lose all hope in being happy. Because he was her happiness. But, the more she tried to forget about him, and stop thinking of him, the more she did just that. He was just… everywhere. There was just something in Sakura's heart that prevented her from doing so. It was like… a part of her heart would always love him. A part of her heart would never stop loving him… the same part that wouldn't ever let him go. That was the part of her heart that told her to hang on.
Sakura had cried the day since. She had never felt such excruciating and overwhelming pain. And it hurt her; like a gash so deep that she thought that maybe it wouldn't ever heal. She tried to patch it all up, she tried to be happy. She tried to be content with what she had. She tried to convince herself that she didn't need him. She didn't need him to be happy. She didn't need anybody to be happy. She could make herself happy. She could be her own hero.
Sakura had wonderful friends. Tomoyo was at her every beck and call. She listened patiently as Sakura sometimes wailed and cried to her. She let Sakura stain her shirt with her salty tears as she cried and shook with pain. Tomoyo would comfort Sakura, and it hurt her too that Sakura was in so much pain. Though, however ever many times Sakura went to Tomoyo… Tomoyo just didn't understand. She didn't get it. She didn't understand at all. And it wasn't Tomoyo's fault either. Tomoyo had never had a love so great and deep ripped away from her. Tomoyo didn't have that experience to understand. And it irritated Sakura to the very core of her being when Tomoyo reassured her that it'd be okay, that she would be okay, that she would get better. Tomoyo didn't know that it would… and even though she was trying to be optimistic, Sakura couldn't help but feel it was almost as if Tomoyo was lying to her. But it wasn't her fault. She just didn't understand.
And Eriol, he saw right through Sakura's fake smile. It was awkward between them now, him being one of Syaoran's best friends, if not the best. Eriol tried to lighten up the mood when Sakura was around; he was a natural optimist. However, Sakura just felt that much more terrible when he did so. It was all an act, all pretend. It wasn't real. Her fake smile wasn't real, and he knew. Most of her other friends seemed to believe her, she was a natural cheerful person. Nobody was really used to see Sakura depressed and down. When she was, everybody would know instantly. Sakura wasn't the one who could hide her emotions easily.
Though, that facade didn't last long. There was only so much Sakura could take. There was only so much Sakura could stand. With a plastered fake smile and a positive attitude, there was still pain etched in her usual bright green eyes. Sakura tried her best to keep herself together. But the more she tried, the more she fell apart. Sakura was mad. Not only at Syaoran, but mostly herself. She relied on him. She depended on him. She took him for granted. She marveled on the way he could make her feel. She adored the way he would touch her, as if she was the most delicate of flowers. She'd smile every time his gentle warm brown eyes would look at her, full of love and dedication. She admired him. She wanted him. She missed him. She needed him. She loved him.
And soon enough; Sakura fell into a depression.
She had stopped calling Tomoyo. She spoke softly and only when necessary. Tomoyo had tried her hardest to cheer her up, and did everything she could. Tomoyo had random surprise parties and shopping sprees with all Sakura's closest friends. But nothing changed, Sakura was still the same. Sakura had become indifferent, apathetic. She just didn't care. Her lips would always be in the same straight position. Her face always had an empty look and her expression was emotionless. Sakura refused to show any feelings. Soon enough, Tomoyo had lost hope in cheering up her best friend. She was mad and disappointed that she had to sit passively and watch Sakura suffer… but there was nothing else she could do. Sakura would have to come out of this alone. She got herself into it, and she refused any help for others. She wanted to be alone. She had lost meaning. She had become a pessimist. The colour drained from her eyes. And her pleasant aura had disappeared all together.
It was only then out of self-pity when Sakura had finally put an end to her depression. She needed it to stop. She needed to stop feeling sorry for herself. He had moved on, why couldn't she? She could make herself happy. She could be happy with just simply herself. It'd be okay. She'd find a way. She'd pick up the pieces and move on some how.
It was then Sakura realized that she was just hurting herself and the people who loved her. He wouldn't care no matter how much she cried. He wouldn't care if she shook with excruciating pain because it hurt so much. He wouldn't care if she had lost her happy aura. He wouldn't care if she had become a complete wreck. And he still wouldn't care if she still loved him and thought about him constantly. It was then Sakura realized that he just… did not care. If he truly did, he'd fight for her. He'd fight his hardest and give it everything he had… but he didn't.
And when she was busy crying, blubbering, being angry and thinking about him… she probably didn't even cross his mind for a second's time. No matter how much she thought about him… whether it be how much she hated him or how much she loved him or how angry she was with him… it'd never change the fact that he never thought about her in return. No matter how long she thought about him, it just didn't matter. She was just wasting her time thinking about him… because he most likely was not thinking about her. She was just hurting herself. She was just hurting her friends who truly cared about her. She had just been thinking about herself.
Yet, she couldn't stop thinking about him. He was everywhere. Nearly almost everything reminded him of her, and what they had. He was constantly on her mind. She just could not stop thinking about him. She just couldn't forget him. She couldn't bring herself to forget him, no matter how hard she tried. And for some strange reason, Sakura simply just didn't want to.
But she needed to. If she was ever going to move on, she would eventually have to break away from him. Yet, even now when Sakura had truly made an effort to just be happy… she couldn't genuinely feel good inside. It was just impossible. She still loved him. With every tiny shattered piece of her heart, she still loved him. It frustrated her how twisted and ironic it was. She still wanted him. She still thought about him constantly. He never left her mind or heart. She still cried for him every night. She was still in overwhelming pain because of him.
Yes, heartbreak hurt like a bitch.
"Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it?" his voice was cynical, dripping with venom as his words pieced her already broken heart.
Sakura's eyes flickered to the plastic bag of paper cranes she had purchased a few days ago. It was still on the floor where she had thrown it in frustration. Walking slowly to it, she picked up the bag, cradling it as if it were breakable. She reached into the bag and pulled out the small box of paper and other small packages of fancy paper cranes. Sakura stared at them with wonder and awe, reclining on her sofa. 'How did people even come up with ways to fold a paper such a way so that something so complex could become simple?' She wondered. Sakura continued to stare at the small square papers in her hands… her mind drifting off to elsewhere.
Zoning out, Sakura was brought back to reality when her cell phone abruptly rang. She jumped, the eerie sound startling her. Her heart was startled, and Sakura could hear it beating in her ears. Sakura ignored the call as it rang, her eyes focusing back to the squares of paper cranes. But it kept ringing.
Sighing, Sakura placed the papers in front of her on the coffee table, following the sound of her phone. It had finally stopped ringing when Sakura found it; she frowned. '1 missed call', it read. With a lack of curiosity of who called, Sakura put down her phone momentarily only for it to start ringing again. Annoyed at the person's persistence, she picked up. "Yes?" Sakura spoke emotionlessly and monotonously. She didn't really care who was calling, whoever it was, they couldn't have been that important. Tomoyo had a specific ring tone on Sakura's phone.
There was a click sound, and then Sakura heard the buzz of a dead line. Frustrated, Sakura held the End button to shut off her phone. She didn't need stupid prank callers to ruin her mood. Drifting back to her paper cranes, Sakura decided to open the box of one thousand sheets of papers. They varied from many different colours and designs. "Pretty." Sakura mumbled quietly to herself.
Instructions were on the inside cover of the small box. She read them over quickly, how hard could it be? People made cranes all the time, even small children did origami. Choosing a simple pink paper, Sakura followed the instructions slowly and carefully. She folded the paper half diagonally once, then again. Lost in concentration, Sakura had become unaware of her surroundings.
She became stuck on one of the last steps, and she paused in frustration, staring at the instructions quizzically. She was supposed to do what, with this little piece of complex folded paper?
Her first paper crane was imperfect, and it sort of resembled the flawless store bought ones. Sakura stared at it for a long time, trying to figure out what exactly she had done wrong. She looked at it as if it was its fault that it was defective, and not hers. Sakura scowled, and then got another piece of paper from the box to try again. This piece of paper was of a soft lavender colour. Sakura folded with the same determination and dedication as the first, pausing at the same place where the instructions stumped her before. Her second paper crane was similar to her first and no where near perfect as the ones she had seen in the pink hearted container.
Placing the lavender crane next to the pink one, Sakura attempted a third time. This time the tiny squared paper was of a light sky blue colour. Folding in the same way she had done the first two, the third one didn't differ from the purple or pink crane. Sakura became angry. She squished the blue one immaturely and childishly. "Hah, die." She exclaimed in her mind to make her feel better. She then took the pink and purple ones in her right palm and crumpled them.
She threw her first three sad attempts of a paper crane in the garbage, ashamed of herself. She'd try again later, maybe when her patience returned. Turning back on her cell phone, Sakura didn't recognize the number that had interrupted her earlier. She considered calling the number back, but knew that she'd only get more pissed than she already was.
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"Sakura-chan. I am so sorry…"
"Don't worry about it." Sakura mumbled, her eyes darkening. "Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo exclaimed as Sakura had started to run. Tomoyo had started to go after her when a strong arm held her back. "Let her go." He whispered. Tomoyo's eyes widened. "No. I'm not going to. I hate seeing her like this. How can you not care? How do you bare it that Sakura is in pain and you're just doing nothing passively? I know you see her pain. Yet you don't do anything about it! Do you not care about her at all!" Tomoyo screamed furiously, jerking her arm out of his grip. Their eyes met, Tomoyo's determination never fading. He didn't say anything, shocked of the look Tomoyo was giving him. "How could you be so cruel, Eriol-kun… Sakura is still your friend." Tomoyo questioned softly before he bolted after Sakura.
"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo called, running after Sakura who was in a pink trench coat. "Sakura-chan. It's just me." Tomoyo yelled. "Sakura-chan! Wait, Sakura!"
Soon enough, Sakura stopped running and Tomoyo was able to catch up to her. "Sakura…chan." She heaved, taking deep breaths in. Sakura was silent, her tears falling from her face to the ground. "Oh, Sakura… I am so sorry." Tomoyo said, bring Sakura into an embrace. "You… you sh-shouldn't be sorry, Tomoyo." Sakura wept.
"You weren't supposed to hear that, Sakura. I'm sorry. I… I didn't know you were listening… I should have told Eriol to tell me later…" Tomoyo trailed off. "No. I deserve it." Sakura replied bitterly. "It's better I find out now rather than later."
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Tomoyo repeated, finally letting Sakura out of their embrace. Sakura sniffed, her eyes a puffy red. "I'm sorry." Sakura apologized. "Sakura, this isn't your fault. None of it is." Tomoyo assured. "But I'm hurting you Tomoyo-chan. That isn't very nice." Sakura protested. "No, what Eriol did wasn't very nice. Even if it wasn't intentional… he should have waited until he was sure you were gone." Tomoyo argued. Sakura hiccupped. "Don't blame Eriol-kun. He's trying."
Tomoyo sighed. "I'm sorry Sakura-chan. I'm sorry even for him." She said with emphasis, and she wasn't referring to Eriol. "Don't be sorry." Sakura faked a smile. "Oh, Sakura. I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to find out about his fiancée this way. You should have never found out. You should have never have heard or known. Eriol was supposed to keep his mouth shut." Tomoyo hugged Sakura. "It's fine." Sakura rasped out, her tears forming in her eyes once again. Tonight would be yet another long night, probably one of her worst with the new information. She asked herself, 'Why… and how could Syaoran-kun ever do this to me?
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"I'm finally home." Sakura said to herself out loud, relieved, as she stepped into her apartment. Hanging up her coat and placing her purse and other bags on a nearby counter, she exasperated onto her couch. Tomoyo had discovered a grand opening fifty percent off everything sale outlet and had pleaded Sakura to come with her. It had been mad busy, crammed with crazy shoppers as they fought to get the best deal. It was completely insane, and if Tomoyo wasn't her best friend, she would have declined immediately.
Closing her eyes, Sakura breathed in, and breathed out. 'See it's not so hard to be content with yourself.' She told herself inside her head. The whole time she was shopping with Tomoyo, with the hoards of people and sales, she hadn't thought of him once. He hadn't even crossed her mind during that period of time. Maybe she was getting better… maybe she'd finally find the strength to move on. Sakura was still unsure, and she asked not only herself constantly, but her friends as well. "Is it stronger to hold on… or let go?" she murmured. Most of her friends didn't give her a straight answer. 'It really depends on the situation', one said. 'Do whatever is right to you.' another advised her. Some said that holding on was stronger, and some believed letting go was. Tomoyo hadn't really replied. She sighed, saying "Oh Sakura." then hugged her. Sakura was in-between. Sometimes she believed that letting go was stronger, but she often thought holding on showed true strength.
Opening back up her eyes, she hugged one of the plush sofa pillows. Leaning against it, her eyes began to wander. And that's when she saw it.
She had forgotten all about it, and she felt a wash of guilt over come her for doing so. Exhausted as she was, she felt a strange force compelling her to try again. Sliding off the couch, leaving the pillow behind and knelling on the floor, Sakura stared at the little square papers. She picked up a more fancier pattern from the small box, welcoming the challenge to her brain and patience. She still didn't understand what she was doing wrong, but she was still determined. She folded slowly then before, trying to master each step just as the instructions said. Feeling a tiny bit better, her fourth attempt was definitely better than the other three, but still not as perfect as Sakura would like.
Sakura was irritated. But was stubborn and tried again. Sighing, her fifth attempt appeared like her fourth. The bottom of the wings weren't completely straight, and the bubble of the body was still a little weird. She was about to give up and go retreat the nice relaxing shower when he stepped into her thoughts. She suddenly remembered why she was doing this in the first place. "Syaoran-kun." She said unconsciously, without thinking. Looking down, she gazed at the fourth and fifth crane. They were nothing like the cranes that were cradled with confetti in that pink heart shaped container at the store. Feeling motivated, Sakura really tried to concentrate. She wasn't going to be like him. She'd never allow herself to be like him.
Really focusing, Sakura made sure that each fold she made was perfect and precise. Slowly and with caution, Sakura folded her way through the instructions. She paid close attention, finally getting the gist of origami. Smiling to herself and feeling confident, Sakura slowly and patiently pulled down on either side of the paper to form the wings of the crane. She twirled it in her fingers, folding down one of the sides to create the head. She then expected it, turning it upside to look at each side. Happiness bubbled inside of her for just a moment. She did it.
'One down, 999 to go' Sakura smiled inwardly. She took another sheet of paper. Folding with the same attention as the last crane, Sakura folded the eighth nicely. The ninth and tenth were of the same outcomes. Sakura started, ever so slowly and patiently to go a little faster in her paper creasing but to get the same perfect result. And then, she went folding on from there.
The hours passed by as she made tiny paper cranes. The sun was setting and Sakura would have to soon break from her folding paper trance to turn on the light. She was lost in her thoughts; she didn't even realize how late it had gotten. The whole time she was thinking of him. She was remembering him… missing him all the same. As she made each crane, she was thinking about everything about him, everything about them. He was the whole reason she was doing this in the first place. Each crane was not only a thought of him, but a moment in time where he was on her mind.
Making cranes for him distracted her from the pain, which she welcomed. She was able to remember all the good things about him, all the things she loved about him. She was able to think about why she loved him, and what made her fall in love with him in the first place. When she made the cranes, it was like he never hurt her. It was like he never broke her heart.
Soon Sakura was sitting in the darkness until she absolutely had to get to up turn on the lights. She finally got frustrated that she couldn't see the paper in front of her that she was forced to get up and turn on the lights. For that moment, she broke away from her little crane reality and was brought back to her reality. The reality which hurt. Memories flooded into her, tempting her to break down. He hurt you, he doesn't care about you; he doesn't love you. Sakura froze at the thought. Why are you doing this for him? Why are you thinking about him when you know he's not thinking of you? You're wasting your time.
"No, I'm not wasting my time." Sakura said aloud, trying to convince herself as she felt tears forming in her eyes. "I'd be thinking about him anyway. I might as well do something productive while I'm thinking of him. There's no use fighting it. He'll always be on my mind… he'll never leave." She whispered as she slumped back on the couch. She had absentmindedly crushed the half made crane in her hand. Sakura sighed. She stared at the pile of cranes she had created that were on her coffee table. It occurred to her that she needed somewhere to put them. She got up to throw out the crushed paper, and hurried to one of her closets. She rummaged through the closet, finding the perfect medium sized box to place the cranes in for now. She also took out a much smaller box so when she went out that she could make cranes and they'd still be in perfect condition when she'd get home.
Sakura scurried back to her coffee table and opened the lid of the pretty medium sized box. She picked up each crane and put it in the box. "One…Two…Three…" she counted, to see how many she had made so far. It didn't look like she made all that many and she had taken up so much time. She wondered how long it'd take her to make one thousand cranes. She had counted one hundred and twelve. She had one hundred and twelve cranes. She was proud of herself. She enjoyed the fact that each crane was like a moment where she thought of him. It was like she was keeping track of all the times that she thought of him. She promised that she needed to be thinking of him when she made the crane, if not, then she couldn't count it towards the one thousand. What was the point, if she wasn't thinking about him when she made them? It was for him after all.
She really did like making the cranes. It distracted her from all her pain. She could concentrate on the good things he did. She could focus on all the positive aspects of him, all the reasons why she had fallen in love with him. There was nobody in the whole world that could compare with him. He was undoubtedly the perfect one for her, and he'd always be the one… even if she wasn't the one who could make him happy. Even after all he had done to her… she loved him. She'd give him a wish because she loved him, and also because she promised. She promised.
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"Sakura-chan, what are you doing?"
"Origami." Sakura replied, not looking up from her paper crane. She had gotten much better at folding cranes, and was a lot faster than when she first started. "Ehh, why are you folding cranes?" Chiharu asked curiously, picking on up to examine it. "There's so pretty and cool!" she gushed.
"Well it's obvious! Sakura wants a wish. They say if you make one thousand cranes that you get a wish! Isn't that right, Sakura-chan?" Naoko chimed. Sakura nodded, still not looking up at them. "Ohh, is that so?" Chiharu questioned, putting back the crane into the little box. "I'd wish for Taiki to fall in love with me. Our kids would be adorably perfect, can't you see it now?" Naoko giggled. "I'd wish for Takashi to stop lying!" Chiharu exclaimed, laughing along. "Neh, Sakura, what are you going to wish for?" they inquired.
Sakura, folding down the head of her crane, dropped it into the box before answering them. "I don't need to wish for anything." She said smoothly, getting another piece of paper to start folding another crane. "I think it's a gift." Tomoyo mumbled. "A gift! For who? Aww, that's so nice. A wish for a present, that's amazing." Naoko sighed. Tomoyo watched Sakura, noticing that Sakura was in her own little world when she was folding cranes. Even though the other girls might have not known it was for him, Tomoyo knew.
This was the first time Sakura had brought out her cranes with her. She just felt the need to keep folding, to keep thinking of him. She felt confident to finish, even though she was a long way away. She knew with every crane she folded, she got that much closer. Though, she hadn't really thought that much about how she was going to give it to him, or even if he would accept. It all was irrelevant though. Sakura was going to do this. She was determined to keep her promise, even if he had forgotten.
It didn't really matter if he didn't care. Sakura could actually care less if he cared. She was more doing this for herself, rather than him. It was like she was going through her withdrawal, and crane making passed the time. She felt an odd sense of tranquility inside of her when she was folding cranes. It was like nothing else mattered. "Why?" Tomoyo demanded softly.
Sakura sighed, plopping another crane into her box and getting another paper. That was number three hundred and thirty two. "It's quite simple, Tomoyo-chan." Sakura spoke coolly. The other girls quit their chit chat and had become silent. They were all listening to Sakura attentively even though Sakura was clearly talking to Tomoyo. The silenced had encouraged Sakura to continue. "It distracts me. When I'm making cranes, I remember all the positive things. It's relaxing. I don't have to think. My mind shifts elsewhere, somewhere I don't feel hurt, where I can't feel hurt. Somewhere where I'm protected."
Nobody said a thing; nobody quite knew what to say. They knew Sakura was extremely sensitive, and they never did want to risk upsetting her. Sakura sighed, reaching for another piece of paper – Three hundred Thirty Three. "I promised. It's because I promised, and I keep my promises." Sakura murmured, and with that, she didn't say anything else that day as she continued to fold her cranes in the warm presence of her friends.
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Sakura folded and folded. With dropping a pretty patterned green crane into her medium box, she grinned to herself. "Five hundred!" she exclaimed. "I'm half way done!" She started to laugh merrily. It was then her cell phone started to ring. Puzzled, Sakura got up and went to see who was calling. Frowning, she didn't recognize the name. 'Minlang' it read. Sakura didn't know anybody by Minlang. In a somewhat good mood then usual, Sakura picked up. "Moshi, moshi?" she spoke. Sakura heard the person on the other line take a breath, and then the line was cut by the sound of a beep, beep, beep. Sakura hung up, and the held the button for a redial. There was no way she was letting them off the hook that easily.
But nobody answered.
"Shit, Sakura. What the hell?"
"Gah! I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry!" Sakura wailed. Syaoran shook his head, pressing a few buttons to turn off the alarm to his apartment. "I reminded you about that, remember?" he said, yawning. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Sakura repeated all rushed, flushing a deep scarlet colour. Syaoran really looked mad. Well, it was about three am. Sakura would probably be pissed if he set off the alarm at 3 am too. "I'm so sorry." She apologized again, not being about to look him in the eye. She didn't want to see his fury. He'd probably yell at her.
After a while, he just sighed, crushing her into his arms. "What's wrong?" he questioned into her hair. "Nothing." Sakura said all too quickly. Syaoran's arms went around her, embracing her in a firm hug before walking back to his room. Sakura dropped her bags to the floor, taking off her jacket before following him back to his room. He was sitting on the bed, his arm crossed and an half amused half annoyed expression on his face. "Sakura, you wouldn't just come here randomly at…" he glanced at his clock, groaning, "three am… just for nothing. What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Sakura murmured. "I'm going to kick you out if you don't tell me the truth." He threatened, trying hard not to smile. Sakura stood in the doorway, looking down at the floor. "Saakura-chan. Tell me." He pleaded. She shook her head. "Don't think I'm not serious in kicking you out." He said calmly, yawning yet again. "You wouldn't do that." Sakura whispered. "Hah. Try me," he urged, smirking. "It's early, I'm tired, and I'm really not that willing to be patient enough for you to finally admit what's wrong…" he trailed off, waiting for Sakura to say why she was in his apartment at three in the morning. "Sakura. I'm serious."
That only made Sakura want to not tell him that much more. She wasn't planning in wakening him. She was just going to sneak in, then sneak back out. She just needed reassurance, though they both somehow knew they were breaking apart ever so slowly. She supposed that she could have gone to Tomoyo's, but his was closer. "Okay. Fine. I'm going back to sleep." He yawned, falling back into his bed and getting under the covers. Sakura sighed, walking closer to sit on the edge of the bed. "I'm sleeping. Don't talk to me now, Sakura. You had your chance. Go away." He mumbled sleepily. Feeling a strange sting from his words, Sakura got up and started to walk away. It was a mistake to come here. She should have gone to Tomoyo's after all.
"Hey, Sakura – hold up!" he yelled as she picked up her bag and headed for the door. "Sweetheart, you honestly didn't believe me when I told you to go away, did you?" his eyes were wide awake now, more alarmed than anything. Sakura didn't say anything. "Oh, Sakura." He laughed, bringing her to a firm embrace. "How heartless do you think I am if you thought I really meant what I said?"
"You said you were serious." Sakura blubbered, dropping the bag to ground to hug him back. "Shh, I'm sorry. I really didn't mean it. I was expecting a different reaction than that. Maybe like a 'shut up' or you just starting to tell me what's wrong… I asked you what was wrong… why won't you tell me?" he questioned. Sakura gripped the material of his shirt on his back, shoving her face into his chest. "You won't understand." She declared. "Hmm… maybe you're right. It is early. Maybe we should go to sleep." He suggested. "Maybe." She agreed. "Hey… Sakura… I really am sorry. I didn't mean those things I said earlier. I'm really glad you're here, though I don't know why. I just… wasn't awake yet. I hope you can forgive me." He apologized. "I'm sorry too…" she whispered. "Sakura…" he called. "What?" she smiled, Syaoran was far too good for her.
"I'll always be here for you."
"Really?" she questioned hopefully.
He replied without a doubt, "I promise."
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"Does he know?"
"Nope." Sakura answered, continuing to fold cranes. "How much long are you going to do that? I wanted to go to the mall today before the mad rush." Tomoyo complained. "I'm almost done…" Sakura smiled. "Oh, well… um, how are you going to give it him?" Tomoyo bombarded her with questions. Sakura wasn't really sure of the answers herself, but she knew she'd find a way. Everything was going to be okay. She knew what she had to do. She had figured it all out when she was folding the cranes. It'd be okay, it'd work out. She had faith… and hope.
"I don't know yet." Sakura shrugged, placing another crane into the box. Sakura had gotten to the point where it was tolerable to talk to Tomoyo about him. She trusted herself, and had a vague plan inside of her head. "You know… he's going back to China soon…" Tomoyo whispered, frowning. She was probably more upset about the whole thing than Sakura was herself. "I know." Sakura cringed, getting another sheet of square paper. She had moved on the prettier and fancier papers now that she was an expert at folding origami. "Is that your deadline?" Tomoyo inquired. Sakura shook her head. "No… I'll have to give it to him before he leaves."
"That doesn't leave you that much time, Sakura-chan." Tomoyo said worriedly. "It took you a lot longer to do a quarter…" she trailed off. "Don't worry, Tomoyo-chan. I can fold faster now, and they'll be of the perfect nature I need them to be. I-" Sakura abruptly turned silent. "What is it?" Tomoyo asked, startled. Sakura shook her head again. "Nothing… I just, I messed up on this one… see?" Sakura pointed to one of the wings. Tomoyo didn't see anything wrong with it, but nodded anyway. Crumpling it up, Sakura threw it in the garbage without another thought. "Hey, you could have…" Tomoyo protested. "All my cranes that are for him have to be A, perfect and B, I have to make them when I'm thinking of him. Which isn't that hard." Sakura explained, folding another piece of paper.
"He asked about you, the other day. Eriol told me not to say anything, but he should know better." Tomoyo sighed. "What'd he say?" Sakura asked casually, though inside she was dying to know. "Not a lot, apparently. It was like as soon as you crossed his mind, you left. He asked you how you were doing… Eriol said that you were fine, and that was that." Tomoyo rambled on. "Oh." Sakura placed the crane into the box – seven hundred and sixty one.
"You'll never finish in time." Tomoyo said, almost as if she was glad that Sakura wouldn't finish. She wasn't really supportive of the whole wish thing. She said that he didn't deserve a wish, especially a wish from Sakura. Tomoyo wished Sakura could just move on. She believed that she was just hurting herself more in doing this. "I will." Sakura assured. "Don't be folding every minute… you need to other things." Tomoyo encouraged. Tomoyo just really did care about Sakura, and she didn't want to see her hurt yet again. "I do, do other things. I'm going to the mall with you once I finish this up." Sakura argued. "You will NOT finish that today. I wanted to go the mall, and I will go, with or without you." Tomoyo clearly said.
"I'm almost done what I expected to do today." Sakura clarified. "I still don't think you'll finish in time." Tomoyo discouraged. Though it was okay, Sakura didn't mind; Tomoyo was just trying to protect her.
"I will. I promised I would, so I will."
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Taking a deep breath in, it was now… or never.
She dialed the number ever so slowly, afraid that she'd bail. 'Don't do this, don't do this!' her mind screamed at her. She'd chicken out. She'd so bail. Once she heard his voice she'd totally slam the phone off. However, he knew her number… and probably call back to see what she'd want. There was no escaping this. Her heart suddenly was beating, accelerating at a top speed. 'Breath in, breath out.' She told herself, in sad attempts to calm herself. She could do this. She was strong. This was the moment she was waiting for. This was the moment she waited for. It was now, or never.
Sucking in a deep breath of air, Sakura, shaking, pressed the call button. She waited in anticipation as it dialed the numbers, then started to ring. Sakura held her breath. "Hello?" he said, and his voice alone made her heart beat that much faster. Sakura started to sweat, and forgot her train of thought instantly. "Hello… Sa-Sakura?" he stumbled, not too sure it was her. Of course he had caller ID, and even if he didn't, he probably still remembered her number, or at least was familiar with it.
Sakura took exhaled. Bracing herself, she replied. "Li-san, I…" she trailed off. "Sakura, my name is Syaoran." He said, as if he was comfortable enough to be on a fist name basis. "Okay. I-I… was just, um, wondering… well… you see… I-I I have something of yours!" Sakura rushed out, feeling herself flush even over the phone. "Oh, well, and?"
"Well, it's yours." Sakura replied stubbornly. "Just keep it, Sakura." Syaoran said tiredly, probably thinking it was one of his many gifts. "But I can't." she argued softly. "Why not?" he inquired. Sakura didn't reply. She could hear him sigh over the static of the phone. Inside, she was hyperventilating. 'Say something!' her mind screamed at her. But her voice just wouldn't come. She had a whole little scenario planned out. She had even gone over it a few times in her head. But now… now that he was actually ON the phone WITH her… she totally blanked out. All she could think about was that he actually picked up his phone.
"Sakura?" his voice brought her back to reality.
"It's not mine. I… it doesn't have any use to me. I want; I want you to have it." Sakura rasped out, her words hesitant. "Sakura, is it really necessary? I'm not exactly free now-a-days. I'm sure you've heard…You… you do know I'm going back to Hong Kong soon…" he trailed off. "Yes, I know." Sakura's answer was surprisingly clear and firm. "Then you understand. Perhaps you could give it to Daidouji… to give to Eriol. Other wise I am really busy. I'm sorry." He apologized. "It… It… can't. I need to give it to you personally. It's all I ask for. Surely you can squeeze me in somewhere, if not just for a moment. I won't keep you long." She persisted.
"Sakura. Listen to me. It's not like I don't want to see you. I actually have been meaning to talk to you face to face before I leave. It seems like the right thing to do. I do owe you an explanation about Minlang, if anything. I want you to underst-" "I know." Sakura cut off abruptly. Syaoran said nothing. "I… I don't need an explanation. You don't owe me anything. I just…" Sakura trailed off, her voice soft and her heart tightening. She was jealous. She wouldn't lie. She hated this Minlang with everything she had. She loved Syaoran; of course she'd feel resentment towards another woman. Of course she was jealous that he loved this Minlang and not her. Sakura was only human, after all.
"I'm sorry, Sakura." He apologized for the millionth time, breaking Sakura from her hatred. "Don't be! Don't feel sorry for me!" Sakura burst out. She wouldn't deny it. She was mad, but the last thing she needed was his pity. For him to feel sorry for her. It made her sick to her very core. She didn't need his pity on top of everything else that was going on. That only made her that much more angry. "Calm down. Remember who you're talking to." A voice in Sakura's head said. It was most likely the part of her that would always love Syaoran. The part that told her to keep holding on. The part of her that still had hope.
Sakura took a deep breath in, regaining her composure. "Please, I won't keep you long." She begged reassuringly. She was actually close and tempted to promise that she wouldn't keep him long, but she knew better to do so. "Sakura… I… don't know. I truly am busy. I've been preparing to go back home and it has been really hectic, crazy and really busy. I do not have time to go retrieve this "something" from you. I really am sorry. But you'll just have to give it to Daidouji if you want me to have it. It can't be that important." His voice sounded strained, a little annoyed that he had to repeat himself. He had made it clear that the last few weeks had been stressful.
"It is." Sakura murmured. "Isn't Japan your home?" she added.
"No." he replied quickly. "And it never was."
Sakura felt a sharp stab of pain. He had said that home is where the heart is, and at the time his heart was with Sakura and Sakura lived in Japan. But not anymore.
"I'm about to go into a meeting soon. I'm truly genuinely sorry. Just give it to Daidouji, thanks." He said as if she'd agreed to his terms. "No." she refused. "Sakura, I am not going to repeat myself again. Please stop being difficult. I really do need to go now." He pleaded.
"No. No. No. No. No." she frowned. "Sakura, I'm going to hang up now." He warned.
"Please!" she begged pathetically. "It's important. It is. You'll need it. It's something you need, I… I… I promise. I need to give it to you personally. It's really important to me… and you. You need to have it. It's yours. It will always be yours… Syaoran… you need it. I need you to have it. Please. Think of it as… my goodbye to you. It's all I ask for. Just let me say goodbye to you one… last… time." Sakura pleaded insisting, tears running down her cheeks.
Syaoran sighed. "Fine. Airuki. Wednesday. 11:45 sharp."
"Thank you!" Sakura cried.
"Anytime… I need to say goodbye too. I'll just get somebody to cover. You're… the thing you're going to give me might not be important… I don't know… but…" he paused. Sakura waited in anticipation, her hand clutching the phone to her ear. "You are. I need to tell you goodbye. It'd be rude if I didn't."
"I'm important?"
Syaoran laughed. Sakura couldn't help but smile at the sound, melting inwardly. "Yeah, I wouldn't just do this for anybody. See you then, Sakura." And he hung up. Smiling, feeling a strange case of euphoria, Sakura pressed the end button. Maybe they still did have a chance after all.
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Her heart was pounding.
Why was she so scared? It was just Syaoran. Just Syaoran. Just… Syaoran. But then why was so afraid? Taking deep breaths in; she could feel her palms start to sweat. She clutched the nicely wrapped gift bag. Inside was a gift that money couldn't buy. It was made with love and dedication. Sakura had spent a lot of her valuable time on it. Nothing could ever come close to what this gift meant to Sakura, what this gift symbolized.
It was a single wish. A wish just for him.
"Thump, thump, thump." Her heart pounded away, racing at top speed. She pushed open the door of the small cozy café and recognized him immediately. He wasn't hard to spot; he was completely gorgeous, even without Sakura's biased view. He was drinking a coffee, gazing outside absentmindedly. The bell rang when Sakura walked in and when Syaoran saw her, he smiled politely. Her hands gripped the handles of the gift bag, her heart stopping at his smile. She forced herself to walk forward. 'You will not chicken out now, Kinomoto Sakura.' She told herself, smiling back at him and sliding to the seat across from him. 'You can do this. You can do this. You. Can. Do. This. ' She encouraged herself.
"Hi." Her voice came out high and squeaky. "Hey." He replied back in the same deep voice that Sakura had remembered. "Would you like anything?" he asked. Sakura paused. 'You.' She thought automatically. Sakura then shook her head. "I'm fine."
Syaoran nodded, an awkward silence settling between them. She couldn't help but look at him. He looked the same as always, if not better. His hair was still of the same dark brown colour, messy in all the right places. His eyes were the same warm amber that Sakura had loved. His clothes looked good on him, as usual. She couldn't help but to stare and gawk. She hadn't seen in for so long, and it seemed unreal for him to be sitting in front of her. Her heart was still accelerating and her voice seemed to have abandoned her. Sakura fell in her own little world just simply admiring him.
"How have you been?" he asked conversationally. Sakura broke from her trance. "I…" she frowned, not knowing what to say. What were you supposed to say to the guy who broke your heart and you were still madly in love with? He caught her eyes with his, and she couldn't help but to sigh. She had always thought his eyes were amazing. They looked at her with not only love, but dedication and commitment. He looked at her as she was the only person in the world, as if she was the only person that matter, as if she was the only person he cared about. Kinda like… how he was looking at her now.
A wave of confusion hit Sakura. Why would he be looking like that, at her? Why? He had broken her heart. Sakura didn't understand. She felt loss for words. The last time he really looked at her, his eyes showed nothing. He was mad, and he looked upon her as if she was nothing. As if she was a nobody to him, as if she did not matter. He didn't care about her. She knew that, he knew that. Everybody knew that. He broke her heart. Yet… why was he looking at her as if he still… as if… he was looking at her like he… he… still loved her. But that was impossible. There was just no way. There was no possible way he could still feel that way towards Sakura. He had moved on. He had forgotten about her. He had broken her heart.
Sakura didn't know what to say. What could she say?
He wasn't supposed to love her. He didn't love her. He has made that very clear. Then why… was he looking at her as if he still loved her? He was supposed to be looking at her that way. He had a fiancée! He wasn't supposed to be looking at Sakura as if she was the only girl he would ever love. That wasn't right. It couldn't be. He couldn't still love her. There was no way. No matter how much Sakura wished it to be, she knew it wasn't. She must have been imagining it. He didn't love her. He couldn't still love her. He wasn't looking at her as if he loved her. No, she must have just wished it so hard that she was hallucinating. He hurt her. He had left her. There was no way he still loved her. No way.
"I'm just fine." Sakura found her voice, pushing her confusion to the back of her head. She was here on a mission: to say goodbye, for good. "How are you?" Sakura looked away from him, refusing to meet his eyes. His eyes lied. They just fooled her. He did not love her.
"I've been okay. It's been really stressful lately, a lot has been happening." He answered in a cool and collected tone. Another awkward silence passed by them. Syaoran then frowned in the corner of Sakura's eyes. "Sakura," he started, looking at his watch. Sakura meekly looked up at him. "Let's just get this over with. Did you want me to open that in front of you?" he was blunt and probably didn't have that much time left of his lunch or whatever. Sakura understood. It was time.
The thoughts of him loving her still fled her mind. She was prepared for the unpredictable, however. It was a wish after all, and wishes could be anything. She placed the bag on the table. "I promised you." She murmured in a soft voice. "Promised what?" he asked back, curious at the bag. She pushed it towards him, happy that the bag covered her flushed face. He placed it on his lap, so that he could not only see her, but the contents of what was in the bag. He carefully took out the rather big medium sized glass heart shaped container. It was slightly heavy, and he was completely stunned at was in the glass container. A memory flooded into his mind, and his face grew expressionless.
He had nothing to say.
Sakura analyzed his expression. What was he thinking? "Please… please say something." She pleaded. "I… I didn't know what else to do. It passed the time. And I had to get you out of my head. I tried to, and I failed miserably. You hurt me… hurt me than more than anybody had done before, more than anybody else could ever do. I was angry. I was upset. I probably even hated you at the time. How could you do that? How could you? I trusted you. After everything you had said to me… you'd… I… well… I… It helped me to think about all the good things about you. About us. I promised you, remember… and… here it is." Sakura began to ramble on. Syaoran didn't say anything, and his expression remained the same.
"A thousand cranes. A wish." She whispered. Syaoran finally took his eyes from the perfectly folded cranes and met his eyes with Sakura's emerald ones. Sakura felt breathless. "Um, well actually… there's only nine hundred and ninety nine…"
She pulled out a small glittered pattern green squared piece of paper from her pocket. "This is the thousandth crane, and with it, you get one wish." Sakura said, as she started to fold the last crane. Syaoran's gaze with glued to Sakura hands, as she folded the paper. In about a minute she was finished, she folded down the little head and put it on her right palm. "Here, one thousand cranes and a wish. I love you, Syaoran." She held out the crane to him.
"Y-You love me?" he croaked out, finally. Sakura nodded. "I always have. Even if you hurt me, I forgive you because I love you. Make your wish now; I'll do everything within my power to make sure it's fulfilled. I promised, after all."
Syaoran's expression changed, he didn't exactly know what to wish for, Sakura assumed. "It will be our final goodbye." Sakura added sadly. Syaoran opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. Perhaps Sakura had acted to impulsively. Maybe he needed time to think his wish over. She considered this, but she knew that she might as well get it done and over with. At least with his wish out of the way… maybe… she could move on. Maybe… she could live without him. Maybe… she could be happy without him. But in order to that she needed to say goodbye, once and for all. She needed to leave all attachments behind, and this wish was the last strand holding them together. Once this wish was fulfilled, they would part their separate ways. They would move on. She would move on.
"Why?" he asked her. 'Easy,' Sakura thought in her mind. She replied, "Because I promised… I promised you I would." And that's really all there was to it; it really was that simple.
She waited in anticipation and anxiety for him. What would he wish for? What could he ever want from her? He had already taken everything from her; she had nothing more to give. Yet, she was prepared for what ever he asked of her. She was sure to make it happen. She promised. Syaoran spoke, his voice not only strained but serious. Completely serious.
Sakura's eyes widened at his request, his final wish. His goodbye request.
"Marry me."
This story is actually dedicated to somebody very important to me. He was my inspiration. I actually promised him to make him a thousand cranes, though I don't know if he wants it anymore. So far I've made 412 of them just for him. I could have swear I made more, it looks like quite a bit. They're all completely perfect, and I have to make them when he's on my mind. I've lost interest now though, and I'm not sure if I'll ever finish. I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him though… but that doesn't mean I don't love him.
If any of you noticed, that bold italicized sentence in that break was his. He said that to me. Syaoran isn't that heartless and would never say that to Sakura. Their flashbacks are in my little wave things. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, because I really do like it.
-Aliaandraa
This really is a one shot. Happy Holidays, everybody.
Updated March 3rd 2008.
Fixed some errors and such. Look out for a couple more of my oneshots, coming soon.