Before the Cat Kingdom, Haru dreamt of these things in this order: being late and being resigned to it, endless cycles of school, when her father was alive, Machida turning to her and smiling.
Now she dreams, if she does, of things she can and does have: talking with Hiromi, the clubs she's joined, what she'll study her last year of high school, helping her mother cook. It's all very grown up. She's very grown up, all of a sudden, with every one applauding the change. She's gone from laughable to respectable, strange to ordinary. She feels competent.
Some nights, though, she dreams of dancing and of falling. She's never as competent the next day.
"It's nice of you to help me carry all this home."
"It's nice of the library to let you take this many books out." Hiromi shifted the pile in her arms. "What's with this sudden interest in Europe? Is this for some assignment I've forgotten? Is it a group project? Can I be with you?"
"I'm interested, that's all." There was a cat rubbing against a municipal tree, inches away from the street. Haru tensed, but the cat turned and trotted away from the cars.
"I can't believe you have time to be interested, not with everything we actually have to do. I'm not going to get a chance to see Tsuge until vacation."
The cat jumped to the top of a wall farther down the sidewalk, tucked it's paws together and watched them. "Aren't you going to his match tomorrow?"
Hiromi huffed. "That doesn't count! Between his coach and the rest of the team-"
The conversation took all her attention and it was safe for Haru to dip her chin to the cat as they pass. She didn't recognize it, but she didn't want to risk being rude.
She wants to go back to the Cat Bureau. She doesn't want to not be greeted and not know if it was real, or if they simply won't come to her any more. Five times after school she begins to follow the road there, but she always turns back. 'What if they aren't there?' she thinks. 'What if Baron is? What if he says ''Go home''?'
The dreams become a blessing, since how can she explain to a human therapist? Baron is always willing to listen and never seems to want payment or reciprocation. The tea doesn't fill her, but it is always good.
The truth is no one wants to be involved with someone being quietly strange and no one wants to notice a girl giving ice cream to a cat.
"I got this for you." Muta didn't twitch a hair and Haru shoved the dish a little closer. "Extra whipped cream."
Muta moved like any force of nature, the tiniest of grudging movements meaning nothing until they pushed him face first into the ice cream bowl. The cold slowed him down but the cake underneath only lasted five seconds. She kept still until he finished chewing.
He never spoke, that week or the next, but at least he wasn't telling her something she didn't want to hear. She wanted proof, not the truth.
"Do I want you, or do I want to be you?" she asks the Baron in her dream.
His whiskers pull back in a smile. "Well, I think you're a little young to desire me, Haru."
"Want to bet?" she asks, and was as elated as he was nonplussed.