Therein

by Jewell21

1.

The summer sun beats down upon their necks like a constant reminder of here and now. They are sitting in the garden, feeding turtleducks. It's one of those perfectly imperfect days – one that you can really only appreciate if you are of the right mind. She is tan and slightly too hot in her flowing blue robes, but doesn't complain. He is tearing apart a piece of bread, a bemused smile ghosting across his face. It feels as though they haven't shared these types of days together in so very long, but it feels like they've been together forever. Time passes slowly now. They are close – so very close. Every once and awhile they steal glances from each other and think about anything and everything under the sun. They try not to burst out laughing, because they are two people sitting in a garden, in love with each other.

2.

I lean my head back, and recline on my hands. The heat from the sky caresses the already tan skin of my face – like a lover. I am not used to this life, this…casualness that surrounds us. It's like waking up in a dream, I decide. I close my eyes and sigh; the sun has set the inside of my eyelids on fire, and I smile. There is hardly anything about this place that doesn't make me think of fire. I can feel the hard packed earth beneath my feet, and the smooth blades of grass between my fingers. I try to tell myself that this moment is really too good to imagine – that it has to be real.

A quiet rustling beside me breaks through the silence. My eyes snap open and I remember.

I remember that I am sitting in the garden with the Fire Lord. Looking over at him fully now, I see that he has craftily concealed himself halfway under the tree. His face is half-hidden in shadow, the "good" side presented to me. We are sitting in this garden under the pretext of feeling the turtleducks – but I know the truth. I know that he steals me away to this place to simply be. He wants to rest somewhere where he can sigh and close his eyes and not pretend. I want…His long pale fingers are breaking bread and I wish so desperately to be the bread – for his long pale fingers to caress me.

Leaning forward again, I consider the Fire Lord as we exist in this garden. I am the simple Water Tribe woman from the south. He – of course – is the Fire Lord, the ruler of this heated land. He must exert some powerful force over me, or perhaps it is that I am so in love with him – that draws me to be here beside him, just because it pleases him. His robes are thin, but formal, and I examine them. I wonder if I can see through them. I wonder what resides beneath them. I am curious to know what he feels like. Hard and warm like the earth under my feet, or cool and soft like the grass between my fingers? I am drowning in these thoughts of him, they are choking me, and I try to remember how, but then – inhale, exhale.

3.

I know every smell in this garden. I have traversed through it since I was a small child – the beginning of my time. This garden is everything I wish for: freedom, childhood, and acceptance. Somehow to me, I feel as though there is magic in this garden, rustling through the trees, growing in each bush and flower. I feel better about everything here, I feel better with her.

I can't imagine her anywhere else but in this place. All I can think about is that I love her. I sneak a glance at her and she seems to be looking at me, through me, and inside of me – simultaneously. I want to understand this woman. I want to wipe that annoyingly innocent smile from her face. A part of me feels like laughing, but I don't. How could I be thinking of sex here in this garden of my childhood?

But I can't stop now that I am, and it fills me with a sense of wonderment that I never feel when thinking about anything besides her. I wonder what she would look like, pinned beneath me. I wonder – would she shy away, or surprise me as she always does, with her boldness? I hope more than anything that she would be bold. I am looking about and I see myself as a small, innocent child in this garden – but I am thinking of me and her and sex and nakedness and…

It feels strangely intimate.

Everything else seems irrelevant to me, the sex and boldness, but the nakedness? In my skepticism I think that she might not want to see me naked. It is something new and completely open – essentially naked – and it embarrasses me somehow, surprisingly. I finish breaking the bread and peek at her form out of the corner of my eye. I decide I want to push her down on the grass and peel the clothing away from her in this heat. I want to forget everything, and perhaps hide it somewhere behind the tree, and just be.

4.

I realize that I not only want him to be naked, but for me to be as well. I can feel his gaze on me and it burns. I wonder then if his thoughts are along the same lines that mine are. I want to know what secrets he possesses. I want to unravel the ties that keep him hidden from me. I unconsciously shift closer to him and I become aware of the fact that he would let me. I can see the overwhelming truth of it all in his eyes, yet I can't bring myself to look away. I think that he might possibly be the only one for me.

I blush – we are both naked under our clothes.

5.

What, what, what would she look like? I feel like a desperate man. My senses take in every inch of her. Her dark skin positively glows in the light of the sun, as if Agni himself was presenting her to me. I can smell the scent coming off of her, and I am entranced. I want to taste the flesh beneath her collarbones and hear her voice turn to liquid as I…

I am both surprised and relived when I feel her fingers come up and intertwine in mine. I feel the rush of no self-control – and it feels so good. I want to believe that I can taste her in the air, that each inhale grants me with her flavor. I pull her to me by the hand that I hold and abandon the garden and abandon the turtleducks and abandon my childhood memories – in favor of more adult-like passions. I give into myself, but more into her and we kiss, consider, and consume. I want to be utterly devoured by her.

There are hands unfastening my robes like a puzzle; there are hands roaming over my skin like solving a mystery. I can look down at her pinned beneath me and know. I can forget the heat and the day and my own name. These real-life thoughts of passion crash upon us like waves and I wonder – nakedness? I wonder if I could bring myself to take her in this garden of my childhood. No, not here on the hard packed earth, but somewhere where we can bask in each other. Soon…soon we will be alone – and bare and naked and I think, therein lies the glory of it all.

6.

The weight of their actions fall happily upon them, and it feels like taking a breath of air after drowning for so long. They aren't wrong or reckless – they are not perfect or imperfect, these things that make them great and terrible don't amount to anything when they are together. Shortcomings fall away like the tide and dull to a fine point. They don't dare to speak, but the certainty hangs around the air above their heads. They take their time, and as the clothing is peeled away, mysteries are solved – secrets revealed. Fingers are delicate, eyes are wide open, and beneath these clothes, they are naked.

;end