Hello everybody!
I didn't think I would have time to write (as I'm working full time until july) but guess what? I took the time. I had this idea and simply couldn't get rid of it, so here I am again!
This is my own version of how the seventh book should have ended. Forget the epilogue, forget about the Ron/Hermione pairing. This is all about Hermione and Severus! (I know you don't have to thank me. All right!)
So about the plot: Basically, Hermione has been secretely dating Severus and this is what happens when the Final Battle comes.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Thank you to my beta reader: emsslovesronalways.
BTW: I'm not english speaking. I live in Paris and if you have any remarks about my writing style, feel free to express them.
It seems like hours since the boys had gone to sleep and yet I know Harry is still wide awake. I can hear Ron's snoring and I curse The-Boy-Who-Lived and his bloody insomnia. I suddenly stand up and grab my wand, not proud of what I'm going to do, but I know there's no alternative. I need to go, and I need them to think I'm still guarding the tent. I quickly cast a wordless spell and hold my breath until Harry's snoring joins the redhead's. I begin to run away from our hiding place until I feel the wards disappear. Only then do I Apparate away.
I rush all the way out of Hogsmeade until I finally stand before the Hogwarts' gates. I know he unlocked them for me, but I can't help dreading the moment I open them. We know our little game is dangerous but I can't feel guilty for something I need so badly, so I quicken my pace up the grounds until I end up running towards the castle. I cast a disillusionment charm on myself and push the door open, praying Merlin nobody's on the other side. I only let out the breath I've been holding when the door is closed and the silence complete again. I rush towards his rooms, not caring now if someone sees or hears me. There's only so much I can take. I don't take the time to knock on his door and slowly crack it open, revealing myself in a sigh.
He slowly comes towards me and I feel my heart beginning to race. I don't know how he does it, I really don't. This isn't our first time and yet I crave for his touch like a starved woman would for water. He grabs the back of my head and pulls me up for a fiery kiss. I quickly relax in his embrace and slide my tongue inside his awaiting mouth. His hand runs down my body, pulling me closer to him. I wrap my arms around his neck and run my hand through his hair while his tongue explores every inch of my mouth. I know he needs to do it; he needs to possess me entirely. He never understood I was already his.
"Did you have a hard time coming here?" he moans between kisses.
I simply smile up at him; he knows I wouldn't let anything get in my way. I grab his hand and lead him to his bed.
"It's been so long..." I murmur, making him growl in impatience.
He pushes me onto the bed and dives towards me, his movements less and less gentle as our need increases. He rips my blouse open and enthusiastically unclasps my bra. I don't have the time to feel the slight breeze on my breasts before he begins sucking on one of my nipples, sending a heat wave up my body. We battle to get out of our clothes, we won't have any use for them and it's getting much too hot anyway. He slides my jeans down my legs just as I free his growing erection out of his boxers. I've seen his cock before but can't bite back a moan at the sight.
"Impatient, are we?" he whispers, sensing my need growing.
He knows my knickers are soaked already but I know the bastard is going to take his time. He buries his face in my neck, biting and sucking on my sweet spot. Gods, he knows I can't resist him when he does this. He grabs my panties and tears them in one quick motion, sending them to the floor without looking up. I hold onto him as he slides one finger inside of me. I've always admired his long and agile fingers, but never as much as I do now. He rubs my clit with his thumb and slides another digit into me. The sweet torture goes on until he finally lets me come.
"Come for me." He whispers in his drop-dead sexy voice.
"Severus!" I shriek as my orgasm washes over me.
He sits up, smirking. I know he gave me a hickey but I can't find the energy to protest (not that I would anyway). He guides himself at my entrance and enters me in one powerful thrust. We both moan at the feeling and he soon starts a slow, torturing pace.
"Harder Severus..." I plead, already desperate for release.
Severus shuts his eyes and slams into me, making me cry out in a mix of pleasure and pain. He grabs my waist and thrusts with more and more force into me until I'm left with nothing else but the feeling of his rigid cock. With one last thrust he sends me over the edge and quickly follows me into oblivion.
He collapses onto me, almost crushing me and yet I don't try to get away. I love the feel of him, the smell of his hair, the sweat dripping down his body, the way his heart is racing. All too soon, whispers in the corridor pull me out of my reverie.
"Fuck! We forgot the Silencing Charm!"
I throw him to the other side of the bed and rush to the door. I can hear footsteps fading away and finally allow myself to breathe. I can see Severus' hurt expression and feel a pang of guilt. Yet we both know secrecy is our only option, for now at least.
"I'd better go…" I sigh, searching for my discarded clothes.
He gracefully stands up and presses himself against my back, grabbing my arms with his hands. "What's the rush?"
"Please don't do this Severus…" I whisper. "You know I have no choice."
"Is it wrong to want to be with you while I can?" Severus murmurs in my ear, wrapping his arms around my waist, blocking me completely.
I place my hands over his but can only find the strength to answer after a few seconds. "What do you mean?"
"I probably won't live to see the end of the war and you know it."
"Stop saying that!" I snap back a little louder than expected. "You will survive. You have to."
"You can't know that, love."
"You're right. I can't." I whisper as a single tear rolls down my cheek.
oOo
Being back at Hogwarts feels weird when I know I can't see Severus. Hearing everyone insulting him and planning several ways of killing him isn't exactly my idea of fun. And yet I don't argue and I don't try to prove them wrong, partly because I know they're not supposed to hear the truth yet, but mostly because I know it would be like pissing in the wind. No matter what happens tonight, I'll have a hard time explaining my relationship with Severus. Hopefully we will both live this through, there's not much more I can ask for.
"Let's go." Harry seems so determined that I feel guilty about what's coming next. But I have no choice, if only he knew.
"You two go. I'll catch up with you later." I whisper, turning back on my heels and already heading out. I only hear their distant voices before I close the door of the Room of Requirement in my wake.
They'll find the horcruxes without me, I'm sure of it. At least, I hope they will, but I just have to see Severus once more. The Battle is set for tonight, Minerva is already planning everything but I have one more thing to do before I join the ranks. I must at least say goodbye.
This word alone sounds so bitter I dare not speak it out loud. The simple thought of losing Severus is enough to make me shiver, so I force my thoughts back to happier times. I remember our first kiss, our first time, and his tenderness of last time. I imagine our future, our fights, the make-up sex that would inevitably follow, and our happiness. I can feel tears falling out of my eyes but I just keep running. I don't have the time to slow down; Voldemort could call him any minute now and…
"That's right! You'd better run you miserable sod!"
Minerva's voice pulls me out of my thoughts and forces my mind back to reality. My eyes widen in shock as I contemplate the scene before me. Every Hogwarts' teacher is chasing Severus down the hall, cursing obscenities and firing hexes in his direction. I pull my wand out just as Minerva is about to cast an unforgivable.
"Stop it! All of you, stop it!" I shriek, casting a Protego to shield Severus.
He fakes a glare in my direction, and I only have two seconds to mouth the words 'I love you' before he throws himself out the window.
"What's wrong with you Hermione? He's a murderer!" Minerva shouts at me before noticing the tears dripping down my face.
"Professor Dumbledore wouldn't have wanted you to become murderers yourselves." I state matter-of-factly before walking away, fleeing Minerva's attempt to comfort me, because she doesn't know she's the one who hurt me, robbing me of possibly my only chance to say goodbye.
oOo
"Look at me." Severus whispers to the three of us.
He's looking between Harry and me but there isn't a doubt in my mind. He's talking to me. My heart is racing, probably trying to compensate because his is slowing terribly fast. The-Boy-Who-Lived is collecting his memories but I can't see any of it, my eyes are locked on Severus'. Yet I can't tell what he's trying to say, there is a strange mix of bitterness, regret and pain deep inside those obsidians I can't decipher.
He's dying. At least he thinks he is, I just know it. I throw myself at him and grab his hand, trying to stop the bleeding with the other. I don't need eyes in the back of my head to see Harry and Ron's shocked expression.
"What are you doing Hermione? We have to go! Now!" Ron shouts.
"Go then. I'm not leaving him." I state with as much cool as I can muster.
"He killed Dumbledore!" Harry adds, already getting up.
"It doesn't mean he deserves to die, Harry! Go watch his memories and leave me alone with him!"
My two best friends exchange a look and I know they're debating my sanity, but I just can't take this crap right now. The man I love is bleeding to death right before my eyes and there's nothing I can do with the other two still in the room.
"Get out! Get the fuck out! Now!" I suddenly yell, losing my patience. "You're losing time! Please… please, just go."
I catch Harry's eyes and by some sort of miracle, he understands. He grabs Ron by the arm and drags him out, leaving me alone with Severus.
"I'm dying Hermione…"
"No you're not!" I scream, pulling everything I have out of my bag.
"Just in case then… there's something you need to know." His voice is weak and that frightens me most of all. I finally get a hold of the bottle I've been looking for, just as Severus closes his eyes. "I love you too…"
oOo
Severus lies unconscious on one of the hospital beds. Many people have come to visit. I should know since I've never left his side. Sometimes I hold his hand, sometimes I simply sit in a nearby chair, waiting for him to wake up. And I spend an awful lot of time talking to him, even though I'm sure he can't hear me.
"Did you mean it?" I whisper to my unconscious lover. "When you said you loved me too?"
I pinch the bridge of my nose in a very Snape-ish fashion. "Harry showed me your memories." I finally sigh. "Is that why you told him to look at you? Did you want to see her eyes through his? Is that the last picture you wanted from this Earth?"
I feel my eyes getting watery and decide not to speak anymore. I let go of his hand and sit back in my chair, closing my eyes all the while knowing I won't get any sleep.
About two hours later, my eyes shot open at a sound coming from the corridor. Harry enters the Infirmary, alone. Well, that's a bit weird. I never thought he'd be able to get away from his numerous fans.
"Hi." I simply nod at his greeting and look away. I don't think I'll ever be able to look him in the eyes again. Her eyes.
He sits down next to me and simply watches his former nemesis and savior. "You knew, didn't you?"
"What are you talking about?" I'm exhausted and can't even find the energy to speak up.
"You knew he was on our side." This isn't a question, so I don't feel the need to answer him. "That's why you tried to save him."
"He's not dead yet!" I finally snap back. I turn to him and close my eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout at you. I'm just tired, that's all."
Harry puts his hand on my shoulder but my eyes never leave Severus' body. "Just tell me if you need anything." He whispers before getting up and leaving me alone once more.
I can't blame him, I'm actually more grateful than anything. I have some things to say now, whether Severus can hear them or not.
"You wanted to die didn't you?" My voice is as cold as ice, I feel so frustrated I could kill him myself. I'm so mad I don't even notice that Harry is spying on me from the hospital doors.
"You just want to join her! Why did you tell me those things if you never meant them?" This time I let my tears run down freely, I need to get them out. "You just told me you loved me to comfort me if you died, but you know what? It doesn't! I can't believe a word you said to me that day!"
I punch him hard on the chest but only manage to hurt my fist. Shit. "You never wanted to survive this war; I practically had to shove the potion down your throat! And you left me! Well, that's fine, you know why? Go find Lily and her husband, that'll serve you right! I don't care!"
I angrily wipe my tears away and flee the infirmary; oblivious to the confused hero I left in my wake.
oOo
"All right, that was mean. I'm sorry I yelled at you, even if you can't hear me." I whisper to him not two hours later. "I just want the truth Severus…"
"You really love him, don't you?" Harry's voice makes me jump out my seat. I step backwards until my back hits Severus' bed. But when I finally look up, I'm surprised not to see anger in my friend's eyes, only a weird sort of understanding.
"Yes." I finally sigh in desperation.
"All right then." Harry shyly smiles at me and heads back out, leaving me completely bewildered. After a few seconds I turn to Severus.
"Do you think he understood?" But when I see his unmoving face, I let out a deep sigh. "You're right, maybe it doesn't matter. But whatever happens, I'm afraid my feelings won't change. I'm not even sure I want them to…"
I climb up into bed and snuggle close to him, burying my face against his chest and inhaling his scent. For the first time in days, I feel relaxed. I finally cry myself to sleep, wondering what I would do without Severus in my life.
I wake up hours later, groaning at my moving pillow. Wait! Why is my pillow moving? I suddenly stand up and find myself facing a very much awake Severus.
"Wh- What? When? I mean, how?" I stutter, blinking furiously to make sure I'm not dreaming. "WHAT THE HELL?"
"Hello to you too."
I begin to laugh hysterically, because by the way he's sneering at me, I know my Severus is back. I laugh so hard I'm on the verge of tears, but a sudden image stops me in a matter of seconds. Green haunting eyes. I quickly get out of bed and stand very stiff, looking away.
"I've seen your memories." I simply state. I know he understands what I mean, and I need answers, now.
"I know." He sighs, sitting up with a growl. "I heard everything you told me. I have to say it really was unnerving to hear you ramble on without being able to answer."
I turn back to him, my eyes wide with shock. I don't want to play games, I need the truth, and I need it now. "What would you have answered then?"
My voice isn't above a whisper but I'm sure he hears me right. "You really can be thick sometimes, you know that? Of course I showed these memories to Potter, I couldn't show him ours now could I?"
"Well, not exactly, no. But you knew he'd show them to me too."
"That's why I told you the truth when we were alone." I see Severus blush a little and find this picture the strangest thing I've ever seen. "I just needed him to trust me, so I showed him why I changed sides after Lily's death."
"So you do love her…"
"I did." Severus sighs. "Well, I think I did. It was just a stupid teenage crush, the rest was guilt, and guilt alone."
I close my eyes but dare not get my hopes up yet. I get back on the bed and straddle him, making sure I lose myself in his deep ebony eyes.
"Do you love me then? Like I love you?"
Severus places his hand on my cheek before running it through my hair. He pulls me down to his face and captures my lips with his own, in a gentle, loving kiss.
"Does that answer your question?" He finally whispers, pulling back.
"Maybe I'll need some more evidence to be completely convinced. But it's a good start." I kiss him again, smiling uncontrollably against his lips, feeling every bit of my body explode with happiness.
oOo
Standing still at the hospital entrance, Harry is watching his best friend and his former potions teacher in a very compromising position. A small smile graces his lips before footsteps behind him force him out of his contemplation.
"Hi mate!" Ron greets him cheerfully. "I'm going to see Mione, she really needs to rest. She can't stay up waiting for the greasy git to wake up."
"I believe you'll have to find another nickname for Professor Snape, Ron." Harry smirks. "Anyway, I just left her, she's fast asleep."
"Oh. Ok then." Ron comes closer to his best friend, whispering ridiculously loud: "Do you think she'd agree to go out with me? After we destroyed Ravenclaw's Diadem, I tried to kiss her you know, but she just turned away from me. D'you think it was on purpose?"
"Sorry mate." Harry giggles. "I don't think you'll ever have a shot there."
And he never did.
I hope by now you've got a huge grin plastered on your face. Honestly this was the only purpose of this story, I didn't mean to write a very serious OS. I just felt this was better than the ending J.K. Rowling gave us^^ I won't blame you for thinking otherwise, everybody's entitled to their own opinion.
Anyway, whether you loved it or hated it, I'd appreciate a review. I love reading your comments, and even if you didn't like it, you can always help me improve =)
Thanks for reading anyway and see you soon I hope!