Title: Love is doubled if shared.
Author: Hippogreif (or zungenleid on Livejournal)
Fandom: Supernatural
Beta: No one, actually, since I don't know any native speakers ;_;. But I am happy to incorporate every correction you might want to give me. xD
Character/Pairing: Sam/Dean/Castiel
Warnings: Winchest if you squint! If you are not comfortable with the idea of two brothers loving each other in that special way, please leave now!
Summary: Dean goes on a mission, all alone, leaving his brother and Castiel behind. Awkward talk is awaiting them.
Author's notes: I am no native speaker, so there will be quite a few mistakes or some awkward or unusual phrasing. But I hope you'll have fun nonetheless. =) Comments are love, btw, as well as constructive criticism! I took some liberty with the timeline of the series but still this story happens after "Point of no return" (Season 5, Episode 18) so be aware of possible spoilers!
"Going out there alone is nothing I give my consent to, Dean."
"He's right, Dean! You'll be killed one way or another! Lemme go with …"
"Shut up, both of you! What help could either of you cursed bastards possibly be? Sam will be hit by some badass-twin-brother of Hasselhoff's KITT as soon as he sets foot outta this room and – tell me, whether I'm wrong, but you, Cas, have some Enochian bullshit put on you that will make every angel come after us if you are too far from Sam. Damn you both for pulling some prank on this demon-witch!"
"That's not correct. Look, I can still walk with you and as soon as any of the heavenly legions appear I can bring the both of us to safety…"
"What part of SHUT THE HELL UP does not go into that thick head of yours? You are staying, Sammy's staying too, end of discussion. And don't you dare coming after me!"
The hotel room door slammed shut, leaving behind a very pissed of Sam – chained to the bed with all limbs sprawled highly uncomfortable across the mattress – and a very startled Cas – bound to walk not further than half centimeter in each direction due to some Enochian symbol Dean had recently discovered and thought was a perfect way to keep Castiel from doing what he wanted.
"He could at least have left us in a more… dignified position," Castiel said with a disapproving glance towards his outstretched arm whose hand was pressed flat against the wall, captured by the symbol, Dean had scribbled with his own blood. His other hand was stuck at the opposing wall. He resembled a boxer leaning into the ring's ropes, being tied to the room's corner like that.
"Yeah, you are the right one to talk," Sam answered, trying to move his legs, which ended in a painful wince, as the iron handcuffs around his legs cut into his ankles. "At least you are still fully clothed!"
Cas shot him a sympathetic glance.
"You do know that as a highly celestial being I always see Dean and you naked?," he asked politely.
"What?"
"I assume you did not know, then. But yes, as a matter of fact I do not see any of you clothed."
"Well, now, that's awkward."
"It is?"
"Is that the reason for you never ever changing your clothes? Because you don't see yourself wearing them?"
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing."
Silence fell upon them. Sam felt the need to say something, but all he could think of were some insults concerning Dean, Dean's thick headedness, his general asshole-attitude, his inability to learn from his mistakes and every other flaw his brother possessed.
But Sam knew that if he'd so much as utter a word against Dean while being stuck in a room with Cas he'd have to put up with him acting all sore and rushing to defend Dean in every way possible. When the three of them were together, Castiel'd say nothing because he somehow felt that the insults were as much a part of Dean's and Sam's relation as were the jokes and friendly rivalry during their hunt and everything else.
Sam sighed. He was aware that the angel had a crush on his brother since the day he rebelled against Heaven and it filled him with pure, unadulterated jealousy.
Since Dead had crawled out of hell or maybe way before that, Sam had not only tried to race up to his older brother but to actually become him in a way. That was the reason for him acting less and less sympathetic with possession-victims or becoming more and more ruthless and yes, becoming more dependent on his family or the little that was left thereof. Dean had once said that Sam was all he'd had left on this world and slowly, while trying to copy his brother in order to carry on without him, he had taken on this stream of thought too.
Therefore, Cas' conspicuous affinity towards Dean made Sam lust after ripping the angel's feathers out one after another although he had never even seen him with wings.
He glanced over to where Cas was struggling to stay on his feet because his pose began to strain the muscles in his arms. He grinned mildly.
"So, you never get to see Dean in his suits?," Sam asked casually, trying again to pull his arm free – effortlessly of course.
Cas looked at him, his brows wrinkled.
"No," he said slowly and Sam laughed. At least this the angel couldn't take from him! Dean in a suit, being sexy and looking incredibly gorgeous only belonged to Sam!
"But as I said, I always see your brother's body. Every muscle, every part of him."
Sam tried to look directly at Cas but his position made it almost impossible. Nonetheless he could still feel the sly look on Cas' face. Awkward virgin, my ass! The bastard knew exactly where to look at! But well, if he wanted this competition, he could have it!
"Yeah?" Sam asked trying his best to sound bored. "Well, he is my brother so there is nothing on him I wouldn't have seen before."
"I know that," Cas answered immediately, but Sam was sure he'd heard him huff. "But since he is your brother, you surely wouldn't take any interest in his nude body whatever position he'd decide to take, right?"
Cas emphasized "brother" as if the word consisted of seven syllables. Sam growled. Pretty-boy angel was hauling out the big guns, now? Well, he could do that too!
"Right," he admitted getting more and more peeved. He was being outsmarted by a virgin angel! If Dean knew that he'd never let him live this one down. "But you know, being that close for over twenty-five years makes it quite hard to imagine him doing something I've never seen him do before."
Cas remained silent and Sam already relished in his victory. But then the angel spoke again.
"So you have seen your brother having…"
Cas hesitated. Sam looked at him suspiciously.
"What?"
"I mean… I do not know much about humans but…"
"Spill the beans already, will you!"
Startled by Sam's raised voice, Castiel spit it out.
"You have seen Dean having sexual intercourse?"
"WHAT?"
Sam almost broke his legs and arms trying to raise his body so he could look shocked at the angel.
"Well, you said you'd have no problem imagining Dean in any position. That does cover copulation, right?"
Sam wouldn't have been surprised to see Cas looking smug or even grinning dirtily at him. But when he finally got to glance at him, he saw him biting his lip, looking insecure at the wall to his right. What the hell? Sam was confused. He'd thought Cas had brought the matter of Dean having sex up to further their silly competition, but apparently the angel wasn't that self-confident.
"No," Sam answered slowly. "I mean, no I have not seen him do that. Have… have you?"
"No!" Cas shrieked and flinched visibly – as always when he lied. "Yes," he admitted shortly after that. "I…I have seen him lie with a woman."
"When?"
Cas looked at him, incredulously. "Is that all you can think of?"
Sam shrugged – which resulted in pain shooting through his arms. "What else am I supposed to ask?"
"I… I don't know." Cas grew more and more miserable, hanging his head. "I am sure that it is not common for… beings whatever kind's offspring they may be to spy on each other during such moments of intimacy. Maybe you should… scream at me for doing it?"
Sam's eyes widened then he laughed.
"You actually think that I am the right one to judge anyone's actions?," he asked incredulous. "No, Castiel. I think I've long lost every right to do so!"
"So you wouldn't find it… perverse?," Cas even looked up, hope in his eyes.
"Well… no, that's not what I meant. I still think it's quite sick of you to watch Dean hook up with somebody."
"Oh. Well. Yes. You might be right then." Again the angel was embarrassed and stared at the ground. Sam sighed and cursed his curiosity.
"Are you going to tell me, when you tried to peep on him?"
Cas furrowed his brows in confusion but then he seemed to understand.
"It was shortly after I'd pulled him out of hell. He… was wandering around and I had been ordered to watch each of his steps to find the right moment to contact him. When he could contact neither you nor Bobby, he apparently decided to … how would you call it… to blow off some steam? He went into a town, finding himself a woman."
"A hooker?"
"A whore, you mean? No. No, he went into a tavern and convinced a woman to come with him. He said something about feeling like he had been given a second chance and how the girl would help him to embrace his new life. I followed them into the room and…" Cas bit his lower lip again, but it seemed as if he wanted to make a complete confession. "I had not read the signs correctly, I believe. Before I knew that it might not be the most appropriate moment they kissed and touched and somehow… I… I couldn't…"
"You couldn't take your eyes of them," Sam finished his sentence. Castiel nodded, cheeks burning bright red and he didn't dare to look at Sam.
"I know I should not have done it…" he stammered, but Sam cut him off.
"Cas, it's normal, ok? Some of it, at last. If you like somebody the way you like Dean, I suppose, then, during some point you'd want to see that somebody naked and do… stuff like that."
Again, the angel remained silent, pondering Sam's words.
"So you have noticed," he finally said.
"What?"
"That… that I have interest in Dean. Interest of romantic nature. "
Sam was tempted to declare that Castiel acted as obvious as a love-sick maiden, but he feared that the angel might die from embarrassment.
"Yes. It was pretty obvious when you mentioned that you 'rebelled for him', you know."
"Oh. He told you about that?"
"Yeah."
"Oh."
Castiel struggled once more against the hold of the seals without any success, but didn't say anything.
Sam sighed. He moved a bit to find a more comfortable position and shook his head.
"You should tell him, Cas. It's not fair to let him run and screw around. It hurts you, doesn't it?"
It took Castiel a while to answer but then he nodded.
"I cannot say that it … pleases me to see him with other beings. But those thoughts are wrong. He must be happy, not me."
"Oh, for the love of God, scratch that altruistic bullshit! If you love someone, you go for it, capiche? Otherwise you will never be happy and some day, it might even be too late to tell them."
Sam hadn't noticed how fiercely he had spoken until Cas' surprised look made him aware. He grinned sheepishly.
"You like him too, don't you?" Cas asked calmly.
"Of course I do. He is my brother!"
"No. I mean, yes, he is, but I think you like him more than that. Your feelings and… and mine for Dean seem to resemble each other quite a lot."
"That's…" Sam closed his eyes. It wouldn't be fair to lie to Cas, not after the angel had told him his secret. "That's true. And forbidden I know, so, you take him, ok," he added hastily. He didn't know how jealous angels could become or how repelling Castiel would find the thought of a man lusting after his own brother. Although, Sam thought sarcastically, I've already done quite worse than that.
"I won't 'take him' as you phrased it, Sam," Castiel said suddenly. His voice sounded very severe. "You and me both love him. There should not be any competition between us over him. Love is doubled if shared, so… maybe we can both love him. And protect him."
Sam looked at Castiel, surprised and somehow relieved. His jealousy suddenly appeared childish and useless.
"You have a point there, Cas," Sam said slowly. "So… peace, right? Between us, I mean."
Castiel smiled. "Of course. Peace."
All the sudden the door burst open. Sam and Cas winced, looking alarmed at the other side of the room.
Dean strolled in with a big fat grin on his face.
"Hey, girls," he said. "Everything is settled now. Demonbitch is killed and sent back to where she came from."
"How did you do it?" Sam asked. "I thought she could read the minds of anybody near her!"
Dean didn't answer, but his grin widened. Sam's mouth fell open.
"You banged her!" he shouted.
"Well… even a demon is exhausted after sex, so…"
"So you thought it wise to lie with her and put yourself in mortal danger?"
Cas sounded angry enough to scare away a dozen of hellhounds and Dean grew uncomfortable. Maybe he remembered the beating Cas had given him, Sam thought.
"It was the only chance, ok? She would have never let you go. And I am responsible for keeping your sorry asses safe!"
Sam didn't know what to say, so he just shook his head, smiling a bit.
"Big hero. Now, untie my so I can beat the living hell out of you," he said.
"I won't hit you," Cas added, "but I'd also prefer to move my arms. This position is quite … straining."
Dean sighed, came nearer… and stopped in the middle of the room, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.
"No," he said.
"No? What do you mean, no? Get those handcuffs of me, Dean…"
"No means no, Sammy. I really like you two being completely helpless and at my mercy…"
And before either of them could protest, Dean had left the room again.
"I am gonna murder him," Sam murmured.
"Murder would mean to break one of the Ten Commandments," Cas reminded him. "But I have to say I find that idea quite appealing… "
-end