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Life never really goes the way you think it will, it's funny like that.

I thought my life would be reasonably quiet; I'd be an auror, always be near my friends, maybe one day I'd settle down with a nice girl and start a family.

Boy, was I wrong.

I have three best friend, or had three best friends I should say, Remus Lupin, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew. And me, of course, Sirius Black. We were the Marauders, brothers until the end, or so I thought.

Out of my three friends I always thought I would die first. That sounds bad but… yeah, it was something I thought about, with the world falling apart around you these are things you start considering. Back at school we were that group of boys who didn't have fears, laughed everything off, and were always pulling pranks. Contrary to that, we weren't naïve. We knew what was coming after Hogwarts and we were worried. Remus and I were mostly worried for our friends, Peter was worried about saving himself, and James was worried about Lily more than anything. I thought we'd be friends forever, or at least I thought we were real friends.

I should go back, to when we found out the Potters were in danger. The Potters, Lily and James and their son Harry, were informed that Voldemort was after them and that they were going to have to go into hiding, for that they would need a secret keeper. I was offered the position, being like James's brother and Harry's godfather, but I had a different idea. I had the idea that they should use Peter. I figured that everyone would assume I was the secret keeper so they should use someone no one would expect… Peter Pettigrew. I can't believe I convinced them to use that scum of the Earth, low-life rat! I even set up the perfect plan for him, he could get the Potters murdered and everyone would think it was me.

When I went to the Potter's house that Halloween night to check on them and found out he had sold them out I was furious. What would you do if you found two of your best friends dead in their home, and the only person there to help their one year old son was the groundskeeper at Hogwarts? What if you could see in your mind exactly how they died? What if one of them was like your brother and the closest family you had ever had, the other one of your best friends, and the last your godson? What if you thought you could easily find and take down their murderer?

I did exactly what you would have… I went after him.

What can I say? He outsmarted me. I took to long, hesitating, and he killed more people by blasting a street apart and got away.

When the folks from the Ministry came to take me away all I could do was laugh. I fought my family tooth and nail all my life, swearing I was nothing like them, and here I was arrested for following Voldemort and murder. They'd get a kick out of this, I could only imagine how proud my mother would be that her son was thought to be a death eater.

I didn't even get a trial for my alleged "murder" of the Potters.

I don't know what's worse, knowing that Peter betrayed them or people who actually knew me thinking that I had.

The main reason I thought I'd die first was that I had the least to live for. James had a family, he had a wife and son to take care of. He should have been able to watch Harry grow up, send him off to Hogwarts, watch him get married, have kids. He and Lily deserved to be there for him. You should have seen Lily when she found out she was pregnant with Harry, she was over the moon about being a mum, and James looked about ready to explode with all the joy he had. Actually, its better that you hadn't seen them, it would just brake your heart that they didn't get a real chance to be parents. Remus, no matter what he might think, had a bright future, I was sure of it. Maybe he would do the expected things, like publish a book or become a professor, but I just hoped that one day someone would make him feel like he really belonged. And he did belong, don't let him tell you otherwise, he's a great man and a better friend than I ever had a right to expect and probably more than I deserved, regardless of his furry little problem. Peter… well lets just say, I thought he was better than this. I thought he was a genuinely good person underneath the shaky nervous exterior. I though he was worried about the war… apparently he was worried we would realize he was working for Voldemort. I was just a boy born into the wrong family, destine to spend my life fighting evil wizards. When you start out with that little, it's not that hard to think about losing it.

Well, I'm not giving up. I'm getting out of this hell-hole one way or another, and as soon as I'm free I'm headed to Hogwarts. I can't believe, even the coward that he is, Peter would hide as a child's pet rat, that's beyond low. I just have to keep my fingers crossed that Remus never told anyone I could transform into a dog, that's my last chance of escape.

Maybe one day Remus will know I'm innocent, maybe one day I'll meet Harry, maybe one day the wizarding world will know the truth about me. But one thing is for sure,

I will find Peter Pettigrew.

And I will kill him.