Ritual's Remorse

Morrigan smiled shamelessly as she rolled languidly in the large bed. A candle illuminated the far wall, bathing her and her companion in dim, golden light. Beside her, the young man with tawny hair and gold-brown eyes looked distinctly uncomfortable as she continued to touch him intimately. She enjoyed his distress immensely. Besides being reasonably entertaining, he was deliciously well-endowed and had hands that were soft for being the hands of a warrior. In the beginning, the notion of bedding him was distasteful but he made up for it by being a pleasurable snack that she loathed to share anytime soon. That was a disturbing thought in itself. He had his charm, she grudgingly admitted.

But now, he was looking at her with eyes wide and continuously flinched from her touch. It was delightfully entertaining. Finally at the end of his limit, he snatched her hand from where she'd been teasing his nipple and pressed it against the bed. He was sweating, shaking, like a frightened animal. "Enough! Are you quite done?" he snapped. He gritted his teeth, annoyed by the way she smiled so sweetly at him.

"The requirements of the ritual are met, 'tis true," she admitted, her eyes alive with cruel amusement.

"Great. Lovely. Perfect. Forgive me if I find the notion of spooning with you obscene but I've committed myself to Elissa and this all flies in the face of everything I believe in," he murmured, trying to pull away. "I find this all immeasurably wrong, Morrigan. I'll never be able to look at you the same way…" He shuddered and attempted to roll away. He grabbed for the sheet but became aware that it had fluttered to the floor during their embrace.

She pounced, pinning him to the bed with her naked body, her breath hot against his cheek. "Come, Alistair… You wish to end our night so soon? I am… unopposed… to the notion of ensuring the ritual's success, if you are willing. You were quite acceptable in both size and skill, a compliment I'll rarely give."

He flushed scarlet and practically shoved her off of him, rolled away and tumbled to the floor in a graceless heap of smooth muscle and light skin. His bare bottom teased Morrigan with its perfection. Unable to resist such a target, she smacked it playfully as she laughed at him. "Graceful as ever, Alistair!" she teased.

"No! Not willing. I'm finished here. I… have to go." He held the discarded sheet to him as he staggered unsteadily to his feet. Alistair held it to his waist and looked back at her as she lay, completely, gloriously nude on her back in the bed. She reveled in his shy, awkward expression and the nervous way he tried to address her without gawking. "You may sleep here if you wish. I-I'll… be in Elissa's room, if she'll have me." She pretended to pout as he turned away, practically tripping over the sheet in his haste to escape.

Alistair bolted down the hall wearing only the flapping sheet and found Elissa's room. He didn't knock; he just entered and stumbled inside on numb legs. He closed and locked the door and stood, staring at her for a few moments before he approached the bed where she laid, reading. He almost fell into her as she looked up from her book. "Alistair…?" she said, lowering the tome to her lap. She was lying in the bed, stretched out in a long, thin sleeping shift with three pillows propping her up. He removed the book, placed it on the nightstand and wrapped his arms around her, his face against her breasts. Was he crying? She draped her arms around his shoulders, feeling his body shake against her. "Maker's breath, beloved! What's wrong?" she gasped with worry.

He didn't answer for a while, just held her against him as if to reaffirm the connection between them. When the tears stopped their flow and her nightgown was wet enough to go slightly transparent, he lifted his eyes to meet hers. The sadness and guilt she saw wrenched at her heart so she held him tighter. He searched her face, desperate for something he needed to see. She smiled slightly, gently as their eyes met. He pulled himself up onto his hands and suddenly pressed his mouth hard against hers. The kiss was long and deep, passionate. He was palpably anxious for something he needed to feel.

He must have gotten what he needed from her in the way she took his face in her hands and kissed him in return with the same passion in which he kissed her. He backed away a little, his eyes searching her face again. "Alistair, you're worrying me. What's wrong?" He lowered his forehead to her shoulder, his arms embracing her tightly around her ribs.

"I love you, Elissa. I love you with every bone in my body, every drop of blood that flows through me, every heartbeat. You make me feel alive in a way I have never dreamed possible and it would break me if I lost you." There. He'd said it. Confession given, he waited for her response.

"Why would you lose me? I love you more than I ever dreamt possible and I cannot imagine you and I having reason to part. Even the Landsmeet approved of our union." She was obviously confused by his actions, by the fear she felt from him. But her reply seemed to calm him slightly. "Are we not betrothed now, my love? And thanks to Morrigan, we will all live to see the Archdemon fall and…"

He grunted, placing his hand over her mouth. "Do not mention that wicked woman's name right now. I've had more than enough of her tonight to last me several lifetimes." He was uncomfortable once more and his hands were digging through the folds of her nightgown, searching for the soft skin that lay beneath. Frustrated, he pulled the strap down to expose the round, pale mound of her breast. Her nipple was dark and firm, surrounded by a puckered areola of rich pink. She pursed her lips as he wrapped his mouth around it. It was as if he was trying to prove something to himself.

As he groped her clumsily, Elissa placed her hands on his cheeks, lifting his face so that she could meet his eyes. "Is that what this is about? Your 'night of passionate sex with Morrigan'? Are you trying to ensure that you're still wanted, that I'm not mad at you? That I can still please you? Or are you just trying to wash away the memory of her touch by trying to get me to make love to you?" The way he blinked his eyes wordlessly at her told her it was all that and more. She sighed and gently pushed him away. At first, his eyes widened fearfully. But they narrowed again when she simply pulled the gown up her legs and peeled it up her torso and over her shoulders. She dropped it in a small pile on the floor and tugged at Alistair's sheet, removed it from his narrow hips. It joined her nightgown. He flushed with pleasure and became immediately aroused.

She trailed a finger from the side of his cheek near his eye down his jaw and along the curve of his neck. Her smile was the thing of dreams. Her lips fluttered against his and her fingers danced against his skin. "Come, beloved. Let's forget Morrigan for one night and allow me to remind you who your heart belongs to. Let me give you back some of what you lost to her tonight. I asked you to do this so that you and I would live and it is with great joy that we will live. The risk was worth it, don't you think? She wasn't all that bad in bed, was she?" Elissa teased him gently, kindly. He blushed.

"I wouldn't be a man if I said she was terrible. But… She wasn't you. And you are the only one I ever want to make love to again, if it's all the same to you," he said with a rueful grin. He covered her mouth with his lips again and this time, as he touched her, he was far less clumsy and far more relaxed. All he needed was here in his arms, the crown and the Archdemon be damned. They could deal with those problems in the days to come. For now, his world consisted of Elissa, himself and the bed in which they lay.

End