Title: Hyper drive
Author/Artist: strifekun
Pairing: Atton/Exile
Fandom: Star Wars Knights
of the Old Republic 2
Theme: 30kisses 26) if
only I could make you mine
Warnings: Angst, Atton POV
Disclaimer: As much as I
love KOTOR2, I didn't make it.
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Atton has always watched her with the uttermost care. He hates it when she spends time with Bao-Dur, fixing things. He hates it when she and Disciple meditate and connect through the force. He hates that Mira watches everything she does, in hoping of catching her. He despises Kreia. He hates that she's using her. Using her for her own selfish plans. He hates that he has to watch Kreia manipulate and pull her back into the places she had long to forgotten.
Most of all he hates himself. For letting the Exile turn him into a Jedi. For wanting to be with her and being a Jedi. For letting her find out about what he's done, trying so incredibly hard to hide it from her. And most of all, he hate's that Jedi for awakening this power in him in the first place. He loathes her, and does not regret killing her, though he wishes it.
He'd love to kill her too, the Exile. He'd love to corrupt her, and make her his. He'd love to mold her, and use her himself; taking down Kriea's precious little plan. He'd love to wipe her mind and whisper all those sweet lies that the Dark Jedi Revan's force whispered to him. He'd love to show her a part of him he had never shown anyone, nor wanted to. He wants to take them away, far away. Just the two of them. No Force, no Jedi, no nothing, just them. Just a sweet lie that would never change.
He wanted that security. He wanted to strip her naked, and make her forget herself in him. He wanted the laws of the Jedi to disappear into a sea of black, where only the stars knew what happened. He wanted so many things. Things he would never get. So he just continued. Continued to watch her with the uttermost care, and protect her from himself.