Title: You Said We Wouldn't Be Apart.
Author: Cady James.
Genre: Het.
Rating: ADULT.
Chapters: 1.
Categories: Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance.
Pairing: Olivia Benson and David Haden.
Characters: Olivia Benson, David Haden
Summary: Olivia and David have broken up, but they can't stand the pain of being apart…
Author Notes: Takes place within the week of their breakup. Slightly inspired by some of the lyrics of the P!nk song, "I Don't Believe You." Notice how the line of the song that's the title of this story is almost similar to the line David says in "Hunting Ground," in the scene in Olivia's kitchen, "I'm not going anywhere." NOTE: Originally written before the 14th Season premiere. Nobody but Bayard Ellis knows about them, not even Nick. Disclaimer: Law & Order: Special Victims Unit does not belong to me; neither do the characters. They belong to NBCUniversal and Dick Wolf, and one of the most amazing casts ever assembled on television.
SVUSVUSVU
Olivia Benson and David Haden were sitting at a bar that was a couple blocks away from the precinct. After Captain Cragen informed her that the District Attorney had decided to start up a Conviction Integrity Unit to look over past cases, starting with the Special Victims Unit, and that David would be heading up the CIU, Liv had called David and asked to meet for a drink; knowing that this might be the end of them.
She hated it because he was the first real relationship she'd had in years and, before this recent case came up, everything had been going great between them. She knew she had been falling for him hard.
After receiving the news, David knew that Olivia would probably find out from Cragen. He knew that this might be it for them. He was basically falling in love with her with each passing day. This case started out as a large strain on their relationship, and they probably would've gotten passed it, had it not been for his promotion.
When he got her call, David knew it was coming and agreed. They met up in the bar and sat there for a moment before the bartender came over and took their drink orders. Neither one of them talked at all, just sitting there trying to stall the conversation they both knew was going to happen.
Finally, they both knew there could be no more stalling. The bartender had handed them their separate drinks and walked away. Liv stared at her glass, wondering where to start. She decided to start on a good note. She raised her wine glass toward him. "So, Chief Haden?" David raised his martini glass and they clinked them together. "Congratulations," she whispered.
"Thank you," he responded and set down the glass. "It's a big undertaking," he said as Liv took a sip of her wine. "I asked Bayard Ellis to be a member of my Outsider Advisors Panel."
Liv cocked her head. "I'm not so sure he's a joiner," she stated and they chuckled.
"I guess we'll see," David answered softly.
Liv hesitated for a moment, dreading this part of the conversation. "So, where does that leave us?" she asked, quietly.
David didn't want to have this conversation either. The greatest thing to happen to either one of them in a long time was coming to a screeching, painful halt. He turned and looked at her. "In conflict," he answered and looked away. He could barely look at her eyes. Those beautiful chocolate brown eyes could convey many emotions. Warm gooey chocolate when sexy, fiery dark chocolate when angry, and creamy watery chocolate ponds when sad. Just by her eyes alone, Olivia had David wrapped around her finger. Right now, they were becoming the watery chocolate ponds as her eyes filled with tears. If he looked at her, he'd forget about the promotion and take her back home. He knew she was looking at him, hurt and confused, but they had no other choice. "I'm going to be looking at the cases you handled."
"And, we never disclosed," Liv pointed out, feeling more heartbroken every second.
An idea popped into David's head; a last-ditch bit of hope for them. "It's not too late," he suggested. "That means I'd have to resign."
Liv looked at him, happy to know that he didn't want this to end and was trying to still save them, even though it was a fruitless idea. "Well, that's ridiculous. You can't do that," she stated. "It's what you live for."
"Says who?" he inquired and looked off in another direction. How could she say that? She was what he lived for lately. He lived to see her smile, her face, the way she looked when they were in bed. She was the last thing he saw and thought about before he fell asleep and the first thing he saw when he woke up. He never liked going a day without seeing her or talking to her. David knew Liv felt the same way about him, too. She lit up when they were happy, and always seemed pleased when she first woke up in the mornings and saw his face. She would stare at him before falling asleep and when they made love. And, nearly every day, she would call a couple times a day, just to check in on him. They lived for each other.
"Says you," she answered. "The first time you walked into our squad room."
David knew this was it. They were about to break up. "I'd be assigned to your cases," he stated and paused, trying to hold it off as long as possible. Sadly, there was no way they could. "Y-You know, that means…"
Liv tried to hold the tears in; trying to be strong for as long as possible. There were too many people here for her to get emotional and break down. "I know," she stated softly. "Us… this… never happened."
David knew she was on verge of crying and just wanted to hold her. If he did, he'd never let go and he'd take it back. This was the hardest thing to do.
Liv sat there and wondered why he wasn't looking at her. She was in so much pain. She couldn't take it anymore and set down some money before walking away.
David turned and watched her walk away. He couldn't let her go without saying goodbye properly. He set down the money for his drink plus a tip from them both and went after her.
Olivia had walked out the door and went to hail a cab. Her eyes were blurry from tears and she didn't care who noticed. She didn't her name being called from behind her.
"Liv!" David called out and got no response. He got closer and called out to her again. "Liv!"
She turned around and saw him. The moment he reached her, she fell into him, wrapping her arms around him tightly, holding on for dear life. David put his arms around her and held her close. "I don't want to break up," she cried into him.
"Neither do I, baby, but we don't have a choice," he responded, his voice choking with emotion. He barely registered the tears from his own blue eyes falling down his cheeks.
After a while, David and Olivia moved apart and looked at each other. They slowly leaned in and kissed softly, no longer caring that they were just steps away from the precinct and that people they knew could probably see them.
When they separated, there was more wetness on both their cheeks and it was impossible to tell if it was their own or the other's.
"So, what now?" Liv asked.
"Maybe we can stay friends. Talk to each other sometimes. I mean, I'd probably have to if I'm going to be looking into your cases and might need to ask you some things," David answered.
"Probably meet in a public place, so it's not just us alone," she pointed out.
"Yeah," he replied and moved to let go of her. His hands had been on her arms and were moving over the sleeves of her coat in a caressing motion. Both knew that if he kept that up, they'd be hailing a cab back to his place or hers and forgetting all about work and breaking up. "So…"
"I should probably hail that cab," she stated but made no move to do it. It took a moment but David finally willed his body to move around her and hailed down a cab. A moment later, the yellow vehicle pulled up. David opened the passenger side back door for her. She smiled and moved toward it, but stopped and faced David and reached up and kissed him on the cheek before climbing into the backseat of the car.
David made sure she was all the way in before closing the door and watched as the vehicle drove off. He waited until it was out of sight before catching his own cab home.
SVUSVUSVU
1 WEEK LATER
Olivia had gone home that night and spent the night crying herself to sleep on the couch. Every night since, she'd come home from work, curl up on the sofa, turn on the TV and keep it quiet before crying herself to sleep. She'd wake up at one point during the night to turn off the TV, but fall back into a fitful sleep.
At work, Liv had pretty much gone on autopilot. She filled out forms, talked to people - coworkers, victims, witnesses, suspects - with almost absolutely no emotion. She wasn't angry at suspects, compassionate with victims, joking around or making conversation with her friends. She was just going through the motions.
Everyone around her noticed her demeanor and tried to help. She assured them she was fine. Nick Amaro asked her if she was still down about the Omar Pena case, but Liv told him she was over it, and she was just having trouble sleeping lately.
It was only a half-truth; she was having trouble sleeping, but she had gotten so used to being with David every night that sleeping alone felt weird. Even when she did fall asleep, on the couch, it was a restless slumber because David wasn't there next to her or holding her.
And, while their breakup was a direct result of the Omar Pena case, Olivia was pretty much over it.
Meanwhile, David, who had been equally devastated over the breakup, had no time to wallow. His new job started with moving his stuff to a different office building and getting a team together to start going over cases. Then they sorted out cases depending on the severity of the crime and punishment.
When the days were over, David had sent the team home but stayed after to look over cases. Most of the night was spent reading the same sentence over and over.
All he could think about was Olivia. How was she doing? Was she okay? He had gotten so used to her checking in on him once or twice a day that not having that anymore was killing him and making him worry about her.
After a week of working all hours, David finally decided to go home for the night, instead of spending a restless night on his office couch.
After a boring day at work, Liv decided to call it a night and head home. She had recognized that her heartbreak was affecting the way she did her job. She needed to try and sleep.
She got home and, instead of turning on the TV like always, she turned on her stereo and went to go change into comfortable clothes.
When she came out of her bedroom, Liv was in light blue oversized t-shirt and black yoga pants and light blue socks. After locking away her gun and changing clothes, she had taken off her makeup and earrings and put her long, wavy, chocolate brown hair in a messing ponytail.
She headed into the kitchen and rummaged in her slightly-filled refrigerator for a snack and settled for a piece of cherry pie that David had made for her just because he wanted to. He had also gone grocery shopping so she would have stuff in her kitchen.
Liv took the piece of pie and put it on a plate before pouring herself a glass of red wine. She grabbed a fork and took it over to the couch and set the food and beverage on the coffee table in front of her.
David had gone home and headed straight to his room for the night. He shed his tie, shoes, jacket, dress shirt, and belt and collapsed on the bed. He reached for a remote on his nightstand and turned on the stereo. The station wasn't one that he normally listened to. He usually had it set to an AM station, talk radio, or jazz. Olivia had gotten a hold of it some time back and set it on a soft rock station and said it usually calmed her down after hard days at work.
Some songs were new and not that well-known to him, but others were older - by a decade or more - and he recognized the songs. The two of them would sometimes actually sing some of the songs together.
That's when he discovered that Olivia was a lot more talented than she let on. She didn't think she was a good singer, but she did have a voice. He loved listening to her sing some of the softer songs. It was beautiful. She had a side to her than no one ever saw. While in their own homes, when older songs came on, both of them would have so much fun performing them. They'd pretend to be performing on a stage, and he loved when Liv tried to do air guitar. When an Elvis song came on, Liv got a kick out of watching David try to emulate the King. His favorite performances of her were when she tried to act like Diana Ross or Aretha Franklin, and even Cyndi Lauper.
He sat there and listened to the songs play, thinking about her.
Liv sat on the couch and remembered how much fun she and David had with this radio station. She liked performing for him. It was a side of her that no one saw, not even Elliot Stabler. She had been happy and David had brought out a side of her that normally stayed hidden. And she liked it when he performed for her, or when they performed a song together. They would laugh so hard.
As the songs played on the radio, Liv sat there and thought about David.
After about an hour, a P!nk song began to play. Liv had heard it before, but it was just a song. Suddenly, she felt like listening to the lyrics.
I don't mind it.
I don't mind, at all.
It's like you're the swing set,
And I'm the kid that falls.
It's like the way we fight;
The times I cry.
We come to blows.
And every night,
The passion's there,
So it's got to be right.
Right?
No, I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more.
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No, I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore.
So, don't pretend to not love me at all.
I don't mind it,
I still don't mind at all.
It's like one of those bad dreams,
When you can't wake up.
Looks like you've given up.
You've had enough.
But I want more;
No, I won't stop.
'Cause I just know
You'll come around…
Right?
No, I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more.
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No, I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore.
So, don't pretend to not love me at all.
Just don't stand there and watch me fall.
"Cause I… 'Cause I still don't mind at all.
It's like the way we fight;
The times I cry.
We come to blows.
And, every night,
The passion's there,
So it's got to be right.
…Right?
No, I don't believe you
When you say don't come around here no more.
I won't remind you
You said we wouldn't be apart.
No, I don't believe you
When you say you don't need me anymore.
So, don't pretend to not love me at all.
'Cause I don't believe you.
David had sat up in bed after hearing the song. Of all that songs that could play… It was a strange coincidence that that particular song had to play now; right when he and Olivia were going through this pain.
Liv sat on her couch, curled up in a ball. The cherry pie had been nibbled at but sat there left alone and the glass of wine half gone. And, she was in tears again. Why did that song have to come on? It conveyed the very emotions she was feeling.
It made it very hard for her to go about her life when everything made her think about him. How could she possibly get on with her life when all she thought about was David and their breakup? She hated this.
David couldn't handle it. He knew they couldn't be together while he had his current job, but how could two people who were so good together be forced to be apart. It wasn't fair. He had to see her; they had to work this out somehow.
He slipped on his dress shirt and shoes and grabbed his coat and keys and headed out the door.
Liv didn't want to feel this way anymore. How did something so amazing fall so hard so quickly? How did one relationship that seemed so promising of a future, be brought down by one case? She knew that someday their relationship would get involved with their work, or vice versa, but she never thought it would be like this. She had to do something to make this right. She couldn't go on feeling this way anymore.
Liv stood up and took the plate and glass into the kitchen. She quickly dumped the pie into the trash before placing the plate in the sink and pouring water and soap over it. She dumped the contents of her glass down the drain before pouring water and soap in the glass.
She was about to head into her bedroom when there was a knock on the door. She expected a neighbor needing something or someone from the precinct needing her for a case.
Liv headed to the door and looked through the peephole to see David standing there, disheveled and puffy-eyed; like he had been crying, too.
She quickly opened the door and before she knew what was happening, Liv found herself up against David, his hands on her face, and his lips on hers. After the initial shock went away, she liked what was happening.
Liv responded to his lips and moved hers to allow him access into her mouth. They both moaned as their tongues made contact with each other. She moved her arms to wrap around his waist, and used her foot to kick the door closed.
David turned them around and pressed her into the door. Liv moved one hand from him to turn the lock on her knob, while one of David's hands left her face to slide her other door lock into place. As they began to stumble further into her apartment, heading toward the couch, David pulled the hairbands out of her hair, sending the chocolate locks cascading down. The hairbands were wrapped around his wrist as he buried his fingers into her hair.
Somehow, they managed to get to the couch and sat down. Olivia took this opportunity to finally separate from him and catch her breath. She wasn't sure what was happening here. "What's… David…" She took a moment to regulate her breathing before looking up at him, her fingers interlocking with his as their hands sat between them. "What's going on?"
David took a deep breath, and noticed her radio was on. "You heard it, too, right? The song?"
Liv looked at him, confused and not understanding what he was saying. That kiss had obliterated every lonely moment that came before it. When David nodded in the direction of her radio, she understood and smiled. "Yes. You, too?"
"Yeah. I can't do this anymore, Liv. This whole week has been murder. I've barely been home because of this job and I've been sleeping - sort of - on the couch in my new office. I've had work to keep me occupied but… at night, alone… I never realized I would miss you this much. I've been so used to you calling twice a day to just check in. I love hearing the sound of your voice," David explained. "I need you in my life, Livvie-Bear."
She smiled and moved to straddle his lap and resting her forehead against his. "You know how I hate when you call me that?"
"Yeah, sure, you do. Every time I call you that, you smile. You know you love it, Livvie-Boo!" he stated, smiling mischievously at her.
"And that one, too. No, Livvie-Bear, Livvie-Boo, or Livvie-Baby. I hate it, honestly," she answered.
"What about Livvie-Bee?" he asked.
"Fine. Only that one." They kissed softly. "I missed you, too. I was about to get up and go see you after that song. You beat me to it. I've been sleeping here on the couch since then. And, I can barely sleep. It's so hard not having you there next to me. And, I just started noticing that I'm barely functioning at work. I can't seem to feel anything - no anger or compassion. It's like it's not even worth it. I need you so much, baby. I never thought I would feel this way about anyone," she told him.
"Me, neither," David answered. He reached for the remote for her stereo and turned it off. "Come here, baby," he stated and released his fingers from hers to bury them into her hair again. "Have I ever told you, I love your hair?"
"No, not lately, but keep saying it," Liv replied and wrapped her arms around him and started to pull him to a standing position.
"I love your hair; I love your eyes. They're both the most beautiful chocolate brown I have ever seen," David began as they started to move toward the bedroom. "I love your soft silky skin and the way it feels against mine. I love those lips," he capitalized that with a little kiss. "I love them when you talk; I love them when you're angry or smiling or sad. I absolutely love the way they look when you pout. They stick out and look sexy puffed up. It's irresistible." Liv moved to pout coyly at him and he kissed her again. "Turns me to butter."
"What else do you love about me?" she asked.
"I love your nose; I love your ears - the tastiest ears to nibble on. I love your neck. It's beautiful and sexy and soft." David moved his lips down to her neck and started to nibble. Liv moved her head back, giving him more access.
"What else?" she whispered seductively.
He moved his hands to her t-shirt covered chest and cupped her breasts. "And, I absolutely love every single inch your amazing body."
They stood just inside her darkened bedroom. Liv pulled his face up to look at him. "Do you love me, David?"
"With every beat of my heart," he answered without hesitation. "Do you?"
"With all my heart," she responded and pulled him into a searing kiss that set the room on fire. When she separated, Liv kept his face in her hands. "Show me how much you love, David."
They smiled and David kicked the door shut, leaving them their darkened privacy to prove to each other how much they loved each other. They knew when morning came that they would stuff to work on, as far as their careers were concerned and choices to make. But, for tonight, they were just them - Olivia and David - in their own little world.