Disclaimer: I don't own anything…it all belongs to Dick Wolf…blah blah blah…
A/N: This is a one-shot to help me get over the writer's block I'm having…I'm still writing Competition. I know that this plotline is cooked to a crisp…but I have to write it.
Unconscious
Him
I guess unconsciously I've always known it. She was there to support me, even when we disagreed. I guess it was always there. The feeling was there. I suppressed it because I didn't want to admit it. I didn't want to say that I had feelings for someone else. I was married…it's not allowed…you can't fall in love with someone else.
I watched her the other day…she managed to work the guy into a corner. She trapped him; caught him in his lie. She succeeded where no one else could. Where my anger and threats and shouting didn't work…her quiet calm demeanor did.
Sometimes I think I can see it her eyes. She might feel the same way. But I can't tell her; I don't want to screw this up. We have the best partnership; if I tell her it could really screw this up. I mean, after the whole Cassidy fiasco…she was a mess that day. And after the fact, she might get weird with me…request a transfer or something. I don't want to lose this. I'd rather have her in my life the way she is now, than not have her there at all…
Her
I'm not sure…sometimes I think it's there…and sometimes it's not. Occasionally his eyes are empty, occasionally they're filled with anger, and occasionally they're filled with something else. Ice blue pools of emotion. I've seen them display a range of feelings…rarely as strong as that one. I've never seen it before.
I want to tell him sometime…but I seriously doubt he feels the same way, and I don't want to screw this up. It might turn into something…but I can't tell. If I say something…I can't risk it. We have the perfect partnership, I can't screw it up. I can't pretend it's something more than I know it is. I'd rather have him as my partner than not at all…