Author's Note: Hey there! Here's my second ever (posted) fanfic! It's more of just a series of one-shots. I'm going to write a narrative for each person from the Cliffhanger group as I feel inspired, so I don't know how often this will be updated. Most of these will be before they got to Horizon. It is no specific event that I am writing about for these stories, well for this one at least. We'll see about the rest of them. If they do end up taking place during a certain time in the show I will let you know. :) I'm going to put a song that I think relates to each character at the end of each chapter. If you have any other songs that you think relate please let me know! I'm feeling some Juliette right now, how about you?
Juliette
The cool tip of the blade sends shivers down my back as I anticipate it breaking through my skin. I slowly pull the razor down my arm as I push deeper and deeper as the red oozes from my new wound. Most would say it's disgusting, but all I see is beauty. Each drop of blood that rolls off of my wrist is one drop of pain that I am temporarily released from.
It is my secret obsession; my sick obsession. It is my comfort and my shield. It is my escape.
I could say that my mom drove me to it, but I would be lying. It's my fault that I don't do what I'm supposed to. She wouldn't have to yell at me all the time if I could just be the daughter that she wants. If I wasn't so fat then I wouldn't have to convulse myself after every meal. I wish I had been born with my mother's perfection. She is so thin and beautiful. If I would just try a little bit harder then I wouldn't be a disgrace to her.
That is why I answer when the blade calls to me. It's winter now, so I have approximately four months to make whatever marks I want to my body, as long as it doesn't scar. Mother would have a cow if she saw me wearing anything but the latest winter fashion, so I don't need to worry about wearing short sleeves and her seeing my guilty pleasure.
I make one more cut halfway between my wrist and my elbow. I've gotten the art down to a science. I make myself feel the pain and see the result of it in my blood, but I don't go deep enough for it to stain my expensive clothes or ruin my tanned arm. I sigh in relief as I irritate the newly produced line. If I irritate it then I feel it longer, and can go longer without cutting again. Of course, I don't want to wait very long, but like I've made clear, my mother cannot know about this.
I stand up in my bathroom and brace myself on the counter. I always get light-headed when I stand up too fast because I'm not allowed to eat much. Well, I used to not be allowed and I would try to sneak it, but one time my mom made me puke up all of the ice-cream that she'd caught me snacking on. That's when I realized I could enjoy some of the food I liked and still get it out of my system.
It grossed me out at first. I would stand over the toilet for an hour before I could finally make the calories come back out of my body, but once I got the hang of it I slowly began doing it more and more often, until I had to do it after every time I ate.
Now, I feel like I want some chocolate chip cookies. I go to my closet and find the shoe box full of food that I've hidden in the back of it. I grab three cookies and practically inhale them. I wait a few minutes and then I make my way back to the bathroom. There is no way I would actually keep those in my system. So you know how many calories are in those things? A lot.
I lean over the toilet seat for the thousandth time in the last few months. I check behind me to make sure no one is coming, and then I quickly stick my finger down my throat. The cookies come up instantly, and I can still taste the chocolate flavor hidden behind the tan-colored mess.
It really is disgusting, but having those few extra pounds isn't an option, so I will do what I have to. I will be perfect someday. Someday I won't need to hide the story that has been written all over my body. I will have clean arms and an empty stomach. My hair will be brushed and always styled, and my mother will be proud to say I am her daughter. Until I get to that point, I'll just keep working on pretending everything is okay.
"Mirror"
Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it?
'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am
I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect
So sorry you won't define me
Sorry you don't own me
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be?
Who are you? Who are you?
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, I won't try
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I'm looking into the eyes
of He who made me
And to Him I have beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me (Yeah)
Who are you tell me
that I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you? (Yeah)
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
You don't define me (You don't define me) [x4]
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah!
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
Yeah
Who are you to tell me
That I'm less than what I should be
Who are you?
Who are you?
Yeah
I don't need to listen
To the list of things I should do
I won't try, no, I won't try
-BarlowGirl
**Alright! So there is the first story to this little group of one-shots! I hope you like it! It was fun to write :) I should be back soon with the next addition. I'm not sure who it will be yet, but I'll find someone.