I lean against the fence, my hand paused midair and quivering as I struggle to gather confidence.
Which, in and of itself, is an anomaly. I have only ever known confidence; everyone has always seen me as the outgoing, brave one, and here I am...
Only one word describes my current state, and though I cringe inwardly to use it on myself, I know that it's true-I'm afraid.
Why would the outgoing Phineas Flynn be afraid of interaction? Why would the brave Phineas Flynn be afraid of something as simple as walking up to her and saying three little, simple words?
I don't know why exactly, but I am.
...
She is amazing. Big blue eyes that pierce my soul; and framed by delicate, dark lashes. Long, silky black hair that I long to run my fingers through. Pink lips that curl into the most beautiful smile, and a cute, girly voice pronouncing my name in a way that makes my stomach turn knots and knots upon itself.
...
And strawberries. She always smells like strawberries. Is it any wonder how they've quickly become my favorite fruit?
A soft chuckle breaks me from my sudden bout of daydreaming. "Are you really going to stand there all day, Phineas?" a familiar voice teases.
"N-no!" I retort, jerking my head around to meet my brother's eyes. "Of course not, Ferb! I was, I was just walking in! Normally! Like any other normal person would do! W-why would I...hesitate?"
My voice softens, and a frown spreads across my face as I see clearly that Ferb isn't about to take that for a valid rebuttal. And that he really isn't convinced by it in the slightest.
"Nice try," he snorts, just as I knew he would. A crooked, amused smirk spreads across his visage, and I feel my face growing hotter and hotter.
I growl, and stamp my foot, suddenly feeling frustrated. "I-I can't help it," I protest. "She's...she...I-I just...!" my voice trails off.
Ferb leans forward, patting my shoulder encouragingly. "I know."
And I know suddenly that I had nothing to be afraid of. So what, if Ferb knew? He always knew. He knew everything that I thought about her; well, nearly. I'd never describe fully to anyone every little beautiful thing I noticed in her, for fear of being seen as stalkerish and crazy, but he knew my 'track record' with her better than anyone else did.
Point was, though, that he was more than capable of keeping a secret. And I shouldn't have doubted him.
"Yeah, thanks," I sigh. My gaze turns hopeful, and I use one hand to gesture toward the imposing wall. "Think you can-?"
He pushes me forward, chuckling again. "Open the gate. Go in. Talk to her."
"You're r-right," I stutter, laughing nervously along with him. "What's wrong with me today? I'm even more jittery-er about her than I usually am."
He narrows his eyes at me, looking uncomfortably coy. "Well, perhaps that means that today will be the day," he says.
"The day...?" I echo, my palm resting against the grainy wood of the gate, and I pause. "Oh, Ferb, you don't really-?"
Another shove signifies that Ferb is done talking about it. He's always been 'the man of action' between us, and it shows. 'Shut up', his narrowed eyes seemed to say. 'Let your actions take over.'
I gulp hard, and push open the gate. The creaking of wood and metal hinges concretes the finality of the situation, and I see her wide blue eyes blinking at me as she notices me behind the opening gate.
"Heya, Phineas!" she greets warmly, strolling toward me. A clipboard is in one of her hands.
I stumble forward, a goofy grin snaking across my lips. "Whacha' doin'?" I utter; my catchphrase.
Our eyes meet, her blue sapphires overwhelming, and for a moment hope courses through my veins like wildfire. Could she...?
"Just trying to make the most of every Summer day," she laughs good-naturedly, voice perfectly casual, and she looks down at the clipboard in her hand. She raises the other hand, and begins scribbling something down with a ball-point pen. "Like usual."
My balloon of hope is deflated, and I struggle to hide my disappointment. She obviously hadn't been having the same romantic thoughts that I had been having. Correction; that I still am having.
"Yeah, cool," I echo half-heartedly, forcing a too-wide, too-heavy sort of grin. A hollow laugh escapes me. "Really cool. Need help with anything?"
She smiles a little, but turns away, and I notice (with some disappointment) that she doesn't look up from her clipboard again. "Absolutely. Just follow me. There's plenty to be done."
My feet stumble forward, and I'm in such a haze that it feels like they've taken on their own volition.
Ferb pats me on the shoulder. "Maybe next time." he whispers in my ear. "Don't give up hope."
And, taking courage from my brother's words, I realize that I won't give up. And, someday, I will have enough nerve to stare Isabella straight, and completely unfaltering, in the eyes and tell her exactly how I feel about her.
Right now, though...
I'm still overcoming jitters.