Remy Buxaplenty sat with his arms crossed, staring out the window of the limousine.

It was raining, of course. How cliche.

Raindrops trailed off the window pane he stared out of. His expression and thoughts remained indubitably indifferent, even as the limo rolled into town and, through the murky wet window, he could make out the blurry words of the "Welcome to Dimmsdale, Nicest Town on Earth" sign.

He remained emotionless even as it drove into the familiar neighborhood of oversized houses and fancy mansions. Even as it pulled up into the driveway of the largest mansion on the corner of the street, the gate in front engraved with a large, golden B. The limo came to a stop in front of the enormous manor and its large, prominently white front doors. Uninspired, Remy stepped out of the limousine, apathetically handing a wad of cash to the chauffeur that had opened the car door for him.

The chauffeur handed his umbrella to Remy, before sliding back into the vehicle. The blond boy propped it above his head and, carefully sidestepping the puddles of water scattered on the pavement, walked up the path to the mansion's entrance. In front of the colossal and dwarfing front doors, he stood, using a gentle hand, and pushed against one of the large things.

With a loud, heavy creak, it slowly opened.

No one was inside. The giant foyer awaiting him was barren.

He hadn't been expecting anyone to be, though. The blond-haired boy stepped inside, shutting the umbrella and setting it aside. It would've been silly of him to expect otherwise.

It was his first day back from F.U.N. Academy, the dreadful boarding school he had had to attend for far too long. He'd survived the excruciating months there, if only just barely, and now here he was, finally back to the empty place he begrudgingly called "home."

What was an eleven-year-old boy supposed to expect coming home from a boarding school? A celebration? A welcome home party? No, of course not. Not in Remy's case, at least. His parents probably didn't even remember that he was coming home that day. Considering the fleeting time his parents spent with him before he had gone, it wasn't so farfetched to think his parents probably didn't even remember he'd left in the first place.

It wasn't even farfetched to think his parents probably didn't even remember they had a son.

Remy huffed to himself, and, without a moment's hesitation, took off up the stairs, down the hallway leading to his bedroom—its door closed.

At least there was one thing he could count on.

Biting his lip anxiously, he quickly and eagerly flung open the bedroom door, anticipating what was inside. And what he found was...

A muscular, Latino fairy floating in the middle of the room, smugly admiring his own body in a floating mirror.

"Why, Juandissimo, aren't you looking gorgeous today?" he spoke to his reflection complacently, flexing his biceps at ever angle. "Why, gracias, Juandissimo, you are looking gorgeous as well. Thank you! No, thank you. No, no, thank you..."

Remy deadpanned, dropping his arms to his sides. He then crossed him against his chest and cleared his throat. "I see I have interrupted something very important here, I apologize. I can leave you and...yourself to yourself and just come back later, if you want me to."

Juandissimo turned his head away from the mirror and the mirror poof!ed away. He looked with blinking surprise at Remy, whom he had not even noticed entering the room. Then quickly, an expression of great delight swept over the fairy's face.

"Remy!" the fairy exclaimed gleefully, swooping down to embrace the boy tightly. "Mi ahijado, you're finally home!"

Remy smiled, indulging in his fairy godfather's tight and loving embrace that he hadn't felt in months. "Juandissimo," he sighed, "glad to know someone is happy to see me."

"Of course!" Juandissimo grinned, pulling away and grabbing the boy's arms tightly with excitement. "I've been waiting with such anticipation all day for you! I wasn't sure, if, you know, you wanted to to invite people and throw a party or something. I kind of figured, though, that my amazing presence alone would satiate you."

Remy rolled his eyes. "The same old Juandissimo, I acknowledge?" he spoke in his causal, supercilious manner.

"You weren't expecting me to change, were you, amigo?" Juandissimo smirked.

"I suppose not," Remy replied in his same tone.

Juandissimo folded his hands and flew closer to the boy again. "How has your life has been, Remy, since I left you? Oh, I feel like it's been ages since I last saw you!" the fairy exclaimed, placing a hand to his chest dramatically. "But that was the way it had to be, when Jorgen came and said that, after the...incident we had with Ti—"

Juandissimo ceased talking as Remy gave him an icy glare. "Don't say his name," he hissed under his breath.

Juandissimo blinked, and then picked back up what he was saying. "...well, after the incident with a certain buck-toothed boy that you are very much not amigos with, Jorgen demanded that I was not allowed to see you again until after you were finished with your stay at the F.U.N. Academy," he smiled, "and I have been waiting here, patiently, until you returned home. And now, finally, you're home!"

"Exposition, Juandissimo, was it really necessary?" Remy muttered unenthusiastically, to which Juandissimo replied with a shrug. Remy sighed and folded his arms. "In any case, I've really missed you, Juandissimo. If only that gigantic, idiotic brute wasn't so awfully unreasonable."

"Well, think of it this way," Juandissimo shrugged, "At least he did not take me away from you forever. Of course, that may only be because he wanted to avoid my cooking. Which honestly isn't so bad now that I've improved since you've been gone! Speaking of which, are you hungry?"

"Mildly," Remy stated. "I suppose you're right in that aspect. Although isn't he married now? You'd think that he may get his wife to cook for him instead..."

Juandissimo waved his wand and poof!ed a large bowl filled with piping hot murky green substance. He held the bowl out to Remy. "It's goulash! I know it's one of your favorites. I'm trying a new recipe, so tell me if you like it."

Remy did not reply, he only stared down at the bowl Juandissimo was offering to him inexpressively.

"Remy?" Juandissimo raised an eyebrow after a moment. "Are you going to try it or not?"

Remy looked up from the bowl. "...why don't you have a wife?"

Juandissimo blinked in surprise, almost dropping the bowl of 'goulash' on the floor—luckily, the magical bowl was able to defy gravity and levitate in the air until he was able to grasp it again. "...wh-what?"

"You heard me," Remy stated bluntly, folding his arms and meeting eyes back with Juandissimo's. "Why? Why can't you settle down with a decent woman? You're over ten thousand years old, for goodness sake, surely there's been plenty of time?"

Juandissimo stared at Remy with wide eyes, and his eyebrows twitched slightly. "Now, now, Remy, you're starting to sound like...my mother...who I became a fairy godparent to get away from," he laughed nervously.

"I just don't understand you, Juandissimo," Remy narrowed his eyes, "I'm aware of your lifestyle, you know. One woman in, another woman out—does your incredible inability to stay with the same woman for longer than a couple of days not bother you?"

Juandissimo's expression fretted, and he pulled the bowl of his questionable soup to his chest defensively. "Well, Remy, you must acknowledge that I'm not the only one at fault in each situation." he bowed his head in sorrow and sighed. "Try as I might, it seems as though my wonder wears off after the first couple of days on each woman, and theirs on mine. And alas, although I am infinitely gorgeous and almost completely perfect in every way, it is my fatal flaw that I cannot feel deeply or commit to a relationship with any woman in this universe."

Remy regarded Juandissimo for a few moments, and then snarled. "You suck."

Juandissimo looked back up at him, surprised by the uncharacteristically juvenile remark from Remy. "If you say so, child. But..." a smile quickly grew on his face again. "I look completely gorgeous all the while, no?"

"Whatever," Remy sneered with a roll of his eyes. He sighed and spun around, sliding a hand over the top of his dresser. "I see you've done a bit of reorganization in here?"

"Yes, I thought I would do a bit of tidying up for you," Juandissimo glanced down at the bowl he was still holding in his hands. "So, are you gonna eat this or...?"

Remy opened the drawers of his dresser. "Hmph. You went through all my clothes."

"Oh, yeah," Juandissimo poof!ed away the bowl of green and then conjured up a bottle of laundry detergent. "Once you get your luggage up here, I'll do your laundry," he stated. "I hope lavender scent is alright. Honestly, I don't think it's as refreshing as lilac, but if I have to settle..."

"Wait..." Remy wrinkled his brow as he sifted through the neatly folded white coats and red bowties organized in the drawers of his dresser. He pulled a small piece of paper out from the clothing—a photograph, actually. It was a picture of a smiling female fairy, her hair a swirly pink that matched the color of her eyes.

He scoffed at the picture. "Hey Juandissimo, I found a picture of that lady you stalk in my dresser. You must have dropped it."

"...hm?" Juandissimo looked over at Remy curiously, poof!ing away the detergent he was holding. "Oh, oops. Thanks."

The fairy held his hand out to Remy. Remy started to hand the photo to him, but snapped his arm back suddenly.

"Wait," Remy paused, bringing the photo back to his face, looking at it closely.

Remy frowned. He found something quite strange about the picture, although he wasn't quite sure what.

"...What's the name of this woman again?" the boy asked suspiciously, peering up at Juandissimo.

Juandissimo regarded him cooly. "Wanda," he replied nonchalantly, "a beautiful name to suit only the most beautiful woman in the world herself."

Remy squinted at the photo. He blinked as the memories quickly began to return to him. "Oh, right...this is Turner's godmother. The fairy we tried to kill along with her husband but failed...and then whose attempted murder ended up costing me you for the remainder of my time at F.U.N. Academy."

"...yep," Juandissimo replied skeptically, "I believe killing her was your idea, though."

Remy pursed his lips, still staring at the picture in his hand, the moments from the incident recollecting themselves in his mind as though it were yesterday.

"You evil little boy!" the pink-eyed goldfish hissed at him angrily, as the boy stood before the doomed fishbowl, cackling evilly.

Remy took a moment to pause from his evil laughter to look down at Wanda. He could see the utmost rage blossoming in her eyes as he smiled at her. "Why, thank you!" he exclaimed cheerfully, accepting her comment as a compliment, before resuming to his maniacal laughter.

It had been a compliment, and still was, in Remy's mind. "You know," the boy looked at Juandissimo, "I never asked you why you're still so obsessed with this woman even though she dumped you about ten millenniums ago."

Juandissimo's face twitched, undoubtably still nettled by the memory. "Perhaps because she is the most perfect being in the universe," he suggested, and then looked at the ceiling, "also maybe, in a way, she is the reason why I cannot commit to a relationship, because I find it impossible fall out of love with the first woman I ever fell in it with and I live a life of longing and—"

"Alright, shut up," Remy ordered, looking back down at the photograph. He scrunched his nose and put a thumb beside the small heart that had been etched in next to Wanda's face. He'd seen photos of her a million times before, but he hadn't really looked at them or acknowledged her as anyone other than the woman associated with his mortal enemy and that his godfather had way too unhealthy an obsession with.

But there was something different that he saw now...and he still wasn't sure what.

"So this is the woman you love?" the boy asked calmly, but his voice spiked sharply at the last word of his sentence—for no particular reason, other than he didn't much like that word.

"Always have, always will," Juandissimo replied smoothly. Then he raised his eyebrow. "Whyyyy do you take such an interest in my love life so suddenly?"

"Oh, no reason," an evil grin began to grow on Remy's face, "except for I suddenly have an idea."

"So...there is a reason, then," Juandissimo pointed out with a frown.

Remy stared down at Wanda's photo with his gleaming evil smile and he began to chuckle, before dropping the photo and raising his arms in the air as he started to full out guffaw with evil laughter.

Juandissimo watched his godson laugh with a blank expression, completely used to this sort of behavior from him. "If you are going to spend some time laughing malevolently, can I at least have my photo back?" he asked.

Remy halted his laughter abruptly and rolled his eyes at Juandissimo, bending down to pick the picture up. "Where do you get so many impromptu pictures of her, anyway?" Remy raised an eyebrow.

Juandissimo plucked the photo from Remy's hand and shrugged dismissively. "Internet."

Remy blinked. "Where on the intern—...never mind, I don't care," he rubbed his hands together evilly, "because I have a plan, a plan that will certainly bring Turner down this time."

Little did the laughing boy know how much his plan would change some certain things...forever.

A/N: I'm starting another fanfic? That's...that's two in a year! What's wrong with me?...Apart from the obvious things?

Well~I hope you enjoy reading it, and hopefully I'll enjoy writing it, hahaha. Some things are easier said than done. Thanks for reading the first chapter! (: ~Evie