Off in the distance, she hears a noise. It sounds so far away, covered by a fog that settles around her. Growing louder, she notices the familiarity of it; something she can't quite place. The fog lifts for a second, and she recognizes it. It's him. The sound of his voice slowly fills her ears, whirling around her head. It's muffled, unclear; she has to strain herself to hear it. His speech drifts in and out, remaining unsteady. Finally, the haze lifts enough for her to know that something isn't right. The way he's speaking, it isn't how he normally talks. It isn't that loving soft whisper she's used to hearing in the morning as he awakens her from her dreams with small kisses trailing up her neck, or the low vibrato of his voice as they talk about a rough case. Using all of the effort she has, the sounds still jumble together, unable to form coherent words, let alone sentences. She can't make out what he's saying, but she knows from the rushed tone of his voice that he's scared.
'Scared? Why would he be scared? Is he okay?'
Heaviness settles over her chest, and it takes everything in her not to succumb to the inviting warmth that surrounds her. Something that sounds similar to her name passes through his lips in a rough whisper, his voice sounding strained. It's like she's floating; unable to touch her feet back to the ground.
The fog clears a little more. It's her name that he's saying, she's sure of it now. Why does he keep repeating it? The strangled sounds coming out in between she doesn't recognize. She knows he's trying to tell her something. By the distraught tone, whatever is happening, it's not good. Her limbs are useless, like dead weight holding her down. She wants to reach out, comfort him; let him know that she's here. Again, he calls her name. It sounds so far away. No matter how hard she tries, she can't reach him. The haze swirling around her brain creating a cloud of jumbled thoughts and noises, some of which belong to him, and the others hers.
Noises are rushing through her ears, the sounds getting louder. It's almost too much. Suddenly, she's able to feel again; her body no longer a mass of useless limbs. She's aware of the sensation of her heart thudding against her chest, as if it will burst at any moment. The wild staccato of it beats loudly, so deafeningly that she's sure he can hear it. It must echo throughout the entirety of her body. Her lungs burn, struggling to fill themselves with the oxygen they so desperately need; a sharp pressure stopping them from filling completely.
Her sense of feeling coming back, it's apparent now that something solid is pressing against her stomach; it's warm, comforting, so unlike the crippling expansion of her lungs and erratic beat of her heart. She sighs in content, the feeling warming her in contrast to the sudden chill sent throughout her body. The sensation diminishes and is replaced by sound; the unsettling clamor of his distressed voice continuing to call her.
The weight on her stomach shifts, and she fears he's leaving. That feeling only lasts for a fleeting second before he's back again, her body continuing to be shifted around, none of which attained by her. The next onset of feeling is the tingling in her fingers as she senses them being moved. Something warm and strong is placed between them, holding tight. In the next instant she realizes it's him, holding his own large hand over her small ones. His grip is tight, unwavering. Something wet and warm floats across her forehead, onto her cheek, and finally, her lips. With an immediate moment of clarity, she knows it's him, placing feather light kisses along her face, like he's done so many times before. Reveling in the comfort, she turns her head toward him slightly, trying to get closer. The attempt is futile at best; her body too weak. Again, his voice rings through her ears, willing her to open her eyes. She wants to, more than anything. She craves the sight of his bright blue eyes, the ones she's stared into so many times before. They carry a world of understanding, and most importantly, love. She tries, giving every ounce of strength she has, but her lids are so heavy, too heavy. She's exhausted.
The familiar touch of him is back, caressing her body. It's comforting; melodic. In that moment, all she can focus on is him.
The fog beings to settle in again, pulling her in deeper this time. Sounds fade into one another, his voice drowning into a sea of indistinguishable noises. She slowly drifts back into a realm of unawareness, lapping her in like the tides of the ocean. At last, her body gives in; floating into an unconscious state she's familiar with.
When she drifts back into consciousness, the sounds of a steady beeping fill her ears. This time, she's more aware. No strained voices float her ears though. No rushing sounds of commotion threatening to deafen her. The all too familiar scent of cleaning supplies and detergent fills her nostrils; a stark contrast to the mellow beeping of what she assumes to be a machine. Without even opening her eyes she knows where her body lies. Knows from experience that four blanch, white, lifeless walls surround her. The rough material of a gown scratching against her skin with each breath she takes. Her senses are hyper aware, magnifying everything immensely. Without a doubt in her mind she's mindful that this is a hospital. The slight fog in her brain is not enough to make her forget the time's she spent here; the unpleasant memories of pain that took place in the space of these four walls. Though that remains clear, she is still unaware of two things: how or why she's here.
As the realms of reality come further into perspective, she becomes of aware of a familiar weight pressed against her thigh, not unlike the pressure against her body earlier. This time though it's heavier, more solid. Also like before, a hand is intertwined with hers, the familiar large fingers easing her mind. She feels stronger this time, and though he isn't calling out to her, she yearns to see him. Unaware of how long she's been drifting, she knows that she craves him, wants to see the sparkle of his beautiful blue eyes, the crinkles around them when he's filled with joy, as well as the dazzling smile that accompanies it, melting her heart instantly. Her eyelids flutter as she begins to open them. Squinting against the blinding onset of light, she turns her head toward the source of warmth and comfort she knows to be him. The sight of his body is draped across the side of the bed. A sudden rush of affection and love fill her and threaten to burst free. The pounding of her hand retreats, as does the pressure and heaviness of her chest.
There lays her partner, her best friend, her husband, asleep next to her, his back hunched in a position that can't possibly be comfortable.
The surge of warmth and love heightens once again, threatening to consume her. Raising the arm that isn't trapped underneath his body, she slowly runs her fingers through his soft hair. He moves briefly, shifting slightly to the right, his body unaware of the conscious presence next to him.
She palms the back of his neck gently and runs her fingers down and over the top of his shoulder blades, feeling how the material of his shirt ripples over them, stretched across his back.
Her throat is too raw to speak, but she doesn't want to disturb him anyways. From the dark circles she can make out under his eyes and the pinched appearance of his brow, he's obviously exhausted, and deeply in need of sleep.
The sound of his steady breathing is rhythmic. She feels light, maybe from drugs the hospital had given her? She's not sure, but she knows that at the moment no pain is present.
Her eyelids begin to feel heavy again. This time the feeling isn't as constricting or everlasting. The soothing pattern her fingers make as they dance across his shoulders slow.
Her lashes flutter, fighting against themselves to remain open, but it's too much.
His smell surrounds her; that familiar, comforting smell that is uniquely him.
The ghost of a smile plays across her lips as she drifts off. She may not know how or why she's here, but as long as he's by her side, she knows that everything is going to be okay.