5 Times Clint Slipped Into Daddy Mode In Front of the Avengers...

1.

Tony scarcely noticed Barton slip into the room and sit down at the end of the bar. He was too busy trying to stop thinking by drinking. And that meant he had to keep drinking because he just couldn't stop thinking.

After downing his fifth glass of vodka of the evening—it burned the whole way down just as he hoped it would—he muttered a curse and then turned to address Barton. "Can I help you?"

Barton shrugged and opened the can of Pabst Blue Ribbon he must have grabbed from behind the bar when Tony wasn't paying attention. The guy had the worst taste in beer, and, before he knew what he was doing, Tony blurted that out: "You have the worst taste in beer, you know that? I mean, what are you, some drunkard frat boy?"

Tony regretted the words the moment he realized he actually said them. He hardly knew Barton (out of all the Avengers, he spent the least amount of time at the tower because Fury was always sending him to every corner of the world on classified missions that never seemed to end up in his file) but he knew one thing: the man could probably kill him with his thumb if he wanted to.

But Tony wasn't about to apologize. And, apparently, Barton wasn't even mad because he just laughed at the joke and took a swig of his beer. "Yeah, I know." He made a face that made Tony laugh himself (under normal circumstances, he wouldn't have, but he was a wee bit toasted). "I just like it 'cause it's cheap. Gotta pay the bills, ya know?"

Tony didn't know so he didn't answer. For a few minutes, they sat in amicable silence. But when Tony went to pour himself another glass, Barton snagged the bottle out of his hand. "I think you've had enough," he said, not giving Tony enough time to protest before adding, "What's eating you anyway?"

Apparently, Tony's filter was broken because he blurted that out too: "Got in a fight with Pepper. Said some things I probably shouldn't have, but what can you do? She'll come to her senses."

Tony expected Barton to take his side so he wasn't exactly thrilled when he didn't. "You should probably talk to her. I know that's what I would do. I've, well, let's just say I've learned the hard way fighting isn't worth it. It doesn't matter who's right and who's wrong; if you're fighting, you're both wrong and…" Barton paused, clearly catching himself.

Noticing Barton's embarrassment, Tony deadpanned, "Who are you, my father?"

Barton just smiled and said, sounding more like his usual smart-mouthed self, thank God, "Come on, genius, let's get you to bed before you do something you'll regret in the morning. 'Cause I'm sure it'll involve inventing a demon toaster or something ugly like it."

And, maybe he imagined it, but Tony was sure Barton actually tucked him in before he left. What a weirdo.

Thanks for reading! I had this idea after reading a few "5 Times" stories and thought it would be fun to write one of my own about Clint as Daddy Hawk (because Daddy Hawk is the BEST). My goal is to write a chapter with each Avenger (and, yes, I'm trying to keep each one 500 words or less). If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them!

So, what'd you think? Like the concept? Think it's funny? I've only written one other humor piece ("Stringing This Bow") so I would love to get some reviews. Until next time. ~Moore12