Already Yours
By Glyphically
I don't know whether it was a sign of courage or of insanity to ask Lieutenant Commander Susan Ivanova out to dinner, but I did it just the same.
I was up for an early negotiation and had stopped by the Eclipse Cafe and seen her sitting and having a cup of coffee. Before I could stop myself, I had walked up to her and the invitation had tumbled out. I internally winced, expecting immediate rejection, but she merely lifted one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me and agreed. While I stood there dumbstruck, she finished her last sip, put her cup down, stood and walked away. She had allowed me to buy her a drink last week with her usual reserve, only a cup of coffee since she had to go on duty, but this was wholly unexpected. I think I stood there speechless for a full minute before it registered.
I had been saddened to realize that a simple cup of coffee was the closest that I had yet come to having a friend on the station in nearly a year of residence. Plus, it had been somewhat amusing, if frustrating, to discover that even so slight an involvement had caused my nascent attraction for her to blossom into something more.
I dressed carefully, choosing blouse that had a lacy collar under which I could obscure my Psi-Corps badge, and a flowing skirt. They were unfortunately black, which I didn't feel was appropriate in light of my hopes for the evening, although better than the severely tailored suits that I usually wore. They matched my psi-dampening gloves, which donned last with a frown. I wished that I didn't have to wear them as they too obviously screamed "telepath." But that was the only thought that threatened to subdue the delicious flutters of anticipation in my stomach.
We met at the Fresh Air Restaurant on time. Susan gave me an appraising look up and down with what I thought was approval, but my pleasure was short lived. They had lost my reservation and I felt like this would be a good time for the floor to swallow me up. My butterflies turned anxious, but not the slightest discomfited, Susan just shrugged and said, "Come on, let's go to Earhart's."
We were seated quickly and ordered, but between my nerves and apprehension, my conversation must have been so disjointed that I'm sure she thought I was either an idiot or a fool. I don't even remember what I said.
What I do remember is that she was wearing an intensely blue dress that left one shoulder exposed, displaying the most intriguing freckles that disappeared down her cleavage. I had to forcibly pull my eyes back up to her face more than once. The dress made her eyes look even bluer and she wore her hair down in soft waves instead of the severe ponytail she usually wore. If she noticed my distraction, she gave no indication.
And I could use a sign. My hands were sweating inside of my gloves, which they almost never do, and if ever I needed my talents to figure out what another person was thinking, it was now. But unlike most normals, Susan was very good at keeping her feelings contained. And I really needed that extra little bit of insight.
It was an indicator of my mental state that I let her talk me into a drink after dinner. I don't drink alcohol, the Corps frowns upon it, but I agreed to something sweet and fruity. I think she said it had champagne in it. I leaned my elbow on the table and rested my chin against my palm as I watched her walk to the bar and contemplated just how much trouble I was in.
I was sipping my drink cautiously and Susan was about halfway through a tall glass of vodka when a loud booming voice with a strong Russian accent came from the back of the room. "Rusalka! My friend!"
Her face lit up. She was amazingly beautiful when she smiled, and my heart turned over.
"Vasily!" Susan tossed the last of her drink down in one gulp, then stood and went over to the bar where he was standing. I followed hesitantly.
"You ugly old space pirate, what are you doing here?" She asked. The description fit him, I noted. I didn't know about the pirate part, but the ugly sure fit. He was only slightly taller than Susan, and heavy set. While he didn't have an eye patch, one eye was muddy brown with a distorted iris. I later learned that it had been damaged in a bar fight on Beta Eridani. The other eye was a surprisingly bright blue over a corpulent red nose and a scraggly mustache that didn't quite disguise a slight scar on his upper lip.
Without letting him answer, Susan continued, "And how did you get into Earhart's? This is for officers and guests only."
"But I am a guest, Rusalka-maya." He made a show of looking around. "Ah the little lieutenant has gone, such a shame, da? It would have been a lovely party." He bowed gallantly, if a little unsteadily, in my direction. "Who is your lovely companion, Rusalka?"
"This is Talia Winters. Talia, this is Vasily Koloditskaya. Stay away from him if you value your honor." She smiled and her voice was full of humor, but her eyes were serious.
"And what of my honor?" he huffed in theatrical hurt. "Ah Rusalka, you wound me!" He took my hand and kissed the skin of my wrist just above my glove, not appearing to fear me, the badge, or the gloves. "Do not listen to her krasivaya dama, she is just jealous of my success with women." I got nothing from his mind at the contact, but there was so much mental activity in the bar that it was hardly surprising.
Susan cuffed him on the shoulder. "Hands off," she growled in mock threat. I was surprised by the implication, and it distracted me for a moment.
Vasily laughed and slapped Susan on the back. "Come! We will finish our game." He started walking erratically towards the back of the bar. "We play to regain my honor!"
"Not to mention your thousand credits." Susan gestured silently to the bartender for another glass of vodka, and then took my hand, entwining our fingers together, and led me after him.
Vasily looked offended and made a tsking sound. "You really should have more faith in humanity, Rusalka."
"Why does he call you Rusalka?" I whispered to Susan, confused. "What does it mean?"
"It's a mythical water nymph," she whispered back, rolling her eyes. "Don't ask," she added at my snort of amusement.
We reached a darkened alcove in the back where there were a couple of equally disreputable types that skulked off at a gesture from Vasily. One slid away before I could see him, but the other paused and shot a quick fearful glance at me. I caught the barest glimpse of a battered face that had seen better days before he too disappeared.
When I turned my attention back to Vasily and Susan, he was pulling out a worn chess board and a set of battered looking chess pieces from a misshapen bag and putting them on a small table. While he set up what was obviously a game in progress, Susan pulled up an extra chair for me.
"So! This is where we left off, da?"
Susan shook her head, laughing. "Now Vasily, you know that I had already taken your bishop." She adjusted the board. "This is how we left it."
Vasily acquiesced with another booming laugh and winked at me with his good eye. "Such a memory this one has, da?"
"Quit stalling, Vasily." Susan turned and gave me a mischievous grin. She had dropped the habitual reserve she maintained around me, and my heart turned over again. "The usual rules?"
"Of course!" Vasily waved at the bartender. Obviously prepared, he sent a waiter over with a tray of shot glasses and a liquor bottle.
Susan picked up the bottle and tipped it back to sip from it directly. "Mmm, good stuff, not like the turpentine you foisted off on me last time." She put the bottle down and took a sip from her own glass. "Your move, Vasily."
The game progressed slowly, with each player having to throw back a shot each time they lost a piece. Susan alternating hers with swallows from her glass.
For a few turns I thought Susan was losing. She had to take four shots in a row, and between those and her glass, I worried about the amount of alcohol she was consuming. But it didn't seem to affect her, and her casual good humor was unfazed by the loss of her pieces.
Vasily in the meantime was getting more expansively jovial and more obviously tipsy. "Ah Rusalka, you are losing your touch!" He took another piece from her, a rook I think. I don't know much more about chess than the names of the pieces, but it looked to me like he was chasing her queen all around the board.
I was sitting close enough to Susan in the small alcove that our arms brushed together, and at this last move, I finally caught a flash of emotion from her, the first all evening. It was a cat-like sense of pleasure, and as I glanced at her, I could easily imagine sable fur rippling in satisfaction. With neat feline grace she leaned forward and moved a pawn forward. "Check mate, Vasily."
Vasily gazed at the board, dumbfounded. "How...?" He backtracked the pieces several moves, trying to figure out how she'd boxed him in. Finally, he slapped a meaty palm on his thigh with a roar of laughter. "A fine game!" He shook his finger at Susan. "But some day, Rusalka, I will get my honor back!"
"But not your thousand credits," Susan said with a grin, laughing with him.
I asked her about him later as we were walking back to my quarters, hoping that she wouldn't go back to being aloof.
But her relaxed mood continued. The alcohol maybe? She regaled me with tales of a true pirate – raider, thief and smuggler working the area around Io that she'd defeated in fighter combat and at chess, but never captured or convicted.
I knew she said not to ask, but I couldn't resist. "So why does he call you Rusalka?"
She hesitated briefly as if wondering how much to tell me, then cryptically answered, "Let's just say it has to do with a long drop into a pool of water." She changed the subject abruptly. "I will have to try and find out which lieutenant let him into Earhart's," Susan mused. "Knowing him, it had to be either bribery or blackmail, and we can't have that from the crew." She continued. "And don't be fooled by the act he put on. He's as ruthless and lethal as anyone you have ever met."
I had taken her arm as we went, laughing at her stories while another part of my mind rejoiced at the firm play of muscle under my hand and the warmth of her body next to mine. This increased the warmth of mine, something she thankfully seemed oblivious to.
To distract myself from such thoughts, I asked, "Aren't you afraid that he'll win those credits back?"
Susan chuckled. "No. He can't even beat me when fully sober, let alone when half-drunk like tonight."
"You had an awful lot of alcohol yourself, Susan." I tried to keep the disapproval from my voice.
She glanced sideways at me with a twinkle. "No, the bartender knows me... that second glass was water." Another chuckle. "I could give him a run for his money in a drinking contest, but I didn't want to get drunk tonight. I get... assertive."
It was my turn to laugh. "Aren't you always assertive?"
She looked sheepish. "Yeah, but when I'm drunk I tend to start bar fights."
"You? Really?" I was shocked, that wasn't the image I had of the Lieutenant Commander at all. When I saw her look of chagrin, I burst out laughing and gave her arm a squeeze. "Well I'm glad that you didn't start one tonight."
We had arrived now at my door. Susan turned to face me, looking me directly in the eyes. Looking into hers, I caught a glimpse of something that made me think that perhaps she had seen through me all evening. Suddenly shy, I dropped my gaze back to those mesmerizing freckles.
I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "Thank you. It was a lovely evening." Then she lightly gripped my arms and leaned forward, gently brushing her lips across my cheek. "Good night, Talia."
I really needed to stop making a habit of being stunned speechless by Susan, it was tiresome and embarrassing. By the time my head cleared, she was gone, leaving nothing but a thousand sparkling tingles racing through me, connecting the points where her skin and her lips had touched mine with other interesting locations. I finally gave myself a bemused shake and went in, glad that the corridor had been empty.
~.~
I awoke late, with the same delicious euphoria that had taken me to sleep. I knew that it was too late to catch Susan at the Eclipse, so when I had showered and dressed for the day, I headed to C and C. I had no idea what excuse I would give, but I just had to see her.
The tension in C and C was like walking into a wall. The activity was too controlled to be called frenetic, and for all their speed, people moved like precisely geared pinions, always in the right place to avoid collisions. Terse directions shot from station to station without the usual conversation.
I didn't see anyone that I recognized, so I finally grabbed a passing lieutenant and asked about Susan.
"She and the Commander are in bay 15." The lieutenant was polite, but obviously didn't appreciate being detained.
"What's going on?"
"There's been an accident. Excuse me." She turned and resumed her course.
After watching the activity for a moment more, I left and headed to bay 15.
Semi-organized chaos swirled around me as I struggled to block all of the charged emotions in the bay. There was a large pile of debris roughly in the center that continued to shift and settle. A mix of Earth Force crew and the dockers guild were trying to sort through and move things off to the sides, loomed over by the remaining skeletal framework of what once was a scaffold. As I watched, a long pipe clattered to the deck from the unstable mass causing a rapid shift in the flow of people. Two dockers ran over from the right and retrieved it, stacking with other pipe sections that had already been recovered. To my left, three crewmen lifted something that looked like part of an engine onto an anti-grav sledge. Dr. Franklin had set up a triage just inside the doors on the right, his voice calmly giving orders and reassuring patients as nurses and orderlies arranged injured people onto stretchers. I didn't see Susan anywhere.
I couldn't tell what was causing the grey pall in the air, whether it was merely dust or the burning oil and thermo-plast that I could smell. Through it, I could hazily see the outer bay door and the huge dent in it. It looked like some enormous fist had tried to punch its way out into space. No air seemed to be escaping thankfully, indicating that the seals were still intact, but I wondered how long they would hold.
I'd probably be most useful helping Dr. Franklin I thought, but as I looked in that direction, Commander Sinclair's voice stopped me, so I turned to him instead.
He looked terrible. His face was grey with strain, his uniform was covered in dust, and he was holding a bloody bandage over a cut on one hand.
"Were you injured when this happened, Commander?" I gestured to the mess behind him.
Sinclair gave me a half-hearted smile. "No, the fireworks missed me. I sliced my palm helping shift some of the wreckage."
I indicated the whole bay. "Is there anything that I can do to help, Commander?"
He nodded and was about to say something, but was interrupted by the arrival of Garibaldi.
"Jeff, here's a list of injured and killed." Garibaldi handed the Commander a data pad. "There's still one person missing." His face mirrored the Commander's, though by the condition of his uniform, he did not appear to have been in the bay when the accident happened. I don't even think he noticed me standing there, which told me something serious was up. He never fails to notice me.
Commander Sinclair thumbed the data pad, scanning the names. "Who?" he asked in a hoarse voice.
"Ivanova." He gestured vaguely towards the center of the pile of debris. "One of the guys said she was underneath the scaffolding checking it out when the explosion occurred. No one has seen her since."
The Commander's shoulders dropped even further. "Damn."
I felt heart-sick. I didn't like to think that I might lose the closest thing I had to a friend on the station. "Commander, I know I haven't had the usual search and rescue training, but I…"
Sinclair interrupted me. "Ms. Winters," he said, "I'd be very grateful for anything you could do." He straightened his shoulders, closed his eyes in thought briefly, and then looked around. "Corwin! Over here!"
The Lieutenant trotted up briskly. "Yes, sir?"
Pointing the same direction as Garibaldi, the Commander said, "We missed someone the first time through, so Ms. Winters is going to help us. We need to move more of this mess to make it easier to get through." He ran his uninjured hand over his eyes wearily. "Ivanova is still in there." Corwin saluted smartly and trotted off, gathering people as he went.
In the meantime, I stepped as close to the center of the bay as I could get. I dropped my blocks and extended my normal psi senses as far as my abilities would allow. The chaos of emotions fell on me like a hammer. I drew on my training and entered a meditative state to distance myself from the turbulence. I usually imagined myself as a pool of water – the calmer the surface, the easier to distinguish the drop of a pebble. Once I reached a stable state, I expanded my awareness to encompass it all, but it was like trying to find someone in a house of mirrors filled with fireflies, and just about as effective. It was worth a try, but my training didn't go this far and I raised my blocks once again.
I hesitated briefly over what I was about to do next. Since scaring myself with the penny, I hadn't tried to use my newly augmented abilities and the prospect worried me, but it was the only thing I could think of to help. With a deep breath, I concentrated inwards and touched that piece of Jason imbedded in my mind.
The world changed.
The very air glowed with chaotic swirls of energy and color. Each mind was now a small sun with bright filaments of emotion radiating outwards in every direction. Some of them crackled and sparked with jagged energy, while others were as sinuous as molten glass. Their shimmering streams interwove themselves into a blinding tapestry which shifted and pulsated with piercing intensity.
After several minutes of concentration, I felt ready to try and touch one of the threads weaving around me. Cautiously I reached out with my mind as if I was going to scan someone and to my surprise, a thread of my own shot out to meet a nearby strand, brightly flaring when it hit. The psionic jolt of the connection almost knocked me unconscious. I closed my eyes and held onto awareness with a vice grip.
Finally the pain receded and I could try again. It wasn't such a shock this time, but it was a struggle to draw the strand in. It wasn't enough to just touch one of them, I discovered. I needed to pull it into my mind. But like a constrictor, each one twisted and coiled with a will of its own. The emotions and personality came through as clearly as a physical touch. I felt that with a little practice, I would be able to pull the thoughts in too, but for the moment I was more concerned with mastering this enough to find Susan.
I dropped the first strand and picked up another, from someone one further away. There was no apparent difference due to distance. The pain was less too, so I started systematically going through all the threads that I could see and practicing this new skill. After a while, I noticed that my eyes were having trouble keeping up, and I had increasing difficulty associating the emotional filaments with specific individuals. The force of the inputs was so overwhelming that I couldn't use my eyes at the same time, something that never happened with my normal psi senses. I slowed down and tried to lower the intensity so that my visual processing could keep up.
In a shorter time than might have been expected, Corwin and I were picking our way gingerly through the remaining tangled mess, a few others following at a discreet distance, to leave me room to work.
The path was clearer than it had been, but we still had to step over unidentifiable parts and duck under beams, which made it a struggle to concentrate. I hit my head on a bent girder at one point when I slipped in a puddle of hydraulic fluid. Another time I tripped on some wiring and caught myself on piece of torn grating that sliced my glove open. Thankfully it wasn't my hand. Corwin offered me his arm, but I shook my head and kept going. I didn't need the added disturbance of his mind so close. I tried to keep him behind me, so that the emotions radiating from him were less of a distraction. To his credit, he was trying to keep his mind quiet, but I was at the threshold of what I could take.
I concentrated on filtering out the more distant filaments as best I could, and focused on those that seemed the closest, letting them draw me to their source. "That way," I pointed.
That way took us up and over a pile that was like some macabre jungle gym. Corwin had to give me a hand down the other side, and I was relieved to realize that the pile was blocking some of the noise and other minds in the bay. I took the opportunity to pause for a break and turn off my altered perceptions for a while.
I didn't rest long; I knew the clock was ticking if Ivanova was still alive. I extended my normal psi abilities once again and felt a psychic echo pull me to the left. I followed it to what looked like an access hatch that had been buckled by some tremendous force. It had been propped against some barrels by the last group of rescuers and as I peered underneath it, I became aware of the sickly metallic smell of blood. My gorge rose and I backed out blindly, stumbling into Corwin and temporarily putting my blocks back up against the echoes of horror.
Corwin spoke for the first time since we had entered the debris field, seeming to understand what I was sensing. "That one was pulled out a little while ago," he said quietly. "Dr. Franklin says he'll live."
I swallowed hard and nodded, then turned back the other direction and after a brief meditation, scanned for a new filament. I finally found one that was faint and almost colorless. Its movement was slow and feeble, and it wandered aimlessly. As I watched, it faded out almost completely, and then a brief spark brought it back at half intensity. I reached for it cautiously, but as I neared, it flared brighter and bridged the gap to make contact with me.
The touch was weak. I concentrated on it, blocking as much of everything else as I could and pulling it in stronger. I reached out to touch the mind at the other end and was flooded with a confused stream images and an incoherent voice speaking... Russian? It had to be Susan.
The emotional turmoil lessened at my touch, although the erratic nature of her hallucination didn't end, and I suspected that she didn't have much longer. Hang on, Susan. We're almost there. To Corwin I said, "She's here. Bring the others quickly." Without bothering to reply, he sprinted back the way we had come.
I returned to Susan. Her thoughts were faltering, and I reached out to caress her mind and try to encourage her. The images in her mind shifted and changed: a few were locations that must have been from childhood, but mostly the images were people. Once I thought I recognized the laughing face of her brother, and many times her mother, to whom she bore a striking resemblance. She cried out to them repeatedly and sometimes they seemed to beckon her.
Twice more she faded before the others came. Each time I willed her back, and each time in her delirium, she managed to hang on, a little weaker than before. Splintered through her thoughts were flashes of the wreckage around us and I tried to match them to what I could see. I knew she was very close, but I couldn't see her body. The only consistent image was of a dangling catwalk. At least that's what it looked like to me, but there wasn't one overhead. Then just to my right, I noticed the crumpled end of some expanded metal grating lodged under a section of bulkhead and surrounded by smaller indeterminate pieces, its other end pointed upwards. I carefully picked my way around it trying to see it from her perspective.
"Talia?" I felt intense relief at hearing Dr. Franklin's voice. I hadn't known that he was coming behind me as well.
"Over here." They followed my voice around the bulkhead. I pointed down to where several other metal plates had landed against it, creating a small space between them and some other piles of junk, then looked up at the doctor. "Hurry, Stephen."
He must have seen something on my face, because he put a hand on my arm. "Are you ok, Talia?"
I felt his concern flash painfully through my overloaded mind and nodded. "Just get her out quickly." Now that the hard part was over, reaction set in. I hugged my arms across my stomach and closed my eyes tightly, silently willing them to hurry and Susan to hold on.
I heard him turn away from me and move over to where the others were working furiously. After an eternity, Corwin's voice cried, "Got her!"
"Easy guys," came Franklin's voice. "Hey, I said easy! We don't want to do any further damage."
I had my eyes closed, still connected to Susan's mind and willing her to hold on, when suddenly, her mind went blank. It was like getting hit in the solar plexus. My eyes popped open and the breath was forced out of me in a rush as I scrambled to reestablish connection. But no, Franklin had an injector out and had only sedated her. I nearly crumbled from relief, and started to shiver.
Franklin gave a few more orders as they loaded her on a stretcher then turned to me. "Do we need to carry you back too, Talia?" he asked humorously.
I straightened up with a stern mental shaking and smiled back at him. "No, I'll be fine."
He glanced back at the unmoving figure on the stretcher. "We got to her just in time, Talia." He gave my arm another squeeze. "Good work."
I nodded without reply and kneeled next to Susan, taking off one glove. Her uniform was rumpled but surprisingly not torn, and was covered in dust and small bits of debris. Her limbs seemed to be intact, but a thin palm-width slice on her forehead had bled profusely all over her face. She was fully unconscious now, so I cupped one bloodied cheek and did quick but thorough scan. It confirmed what I had suspected. She had touched my mind first. The Lieutenant Commander was a latent telepath.
I stood to let Franklin and his team hoist her up and carefully head back. I followed slowly, picking my way back cautiously while shoring up my blocks and trying to restore some measure of psi control. Still, before I left the bay, I took one last look at the vibrant maelstrom of mental energy that Jason's gift had given me.
I didn't expect to see much more, but something new caught the edges of my perception, an emotion out of place. With a last burst of effort I widened my awareness to incorporate all of the filaments around me and managed to catch an odd mixture of fierce satisfaction and hostility. It seemed broadly directed for the most part, although I couldn't tell if it was just the work in the bay or the whole station, but an additional element of spite followed Susan's stretcher out of the bay. I wasn't shocked that someone would take pleasure from this destruction, but the animus directed at Susan disturbed me. I visually scanned the people milling around trying to determine who it was coming from, but there were too many of them and the thread disappeared before I could connect it to anyone specific. I gave up and followed the last of the stretchers out of the bay. Besides, there were more important things to think about.
Like wondering what in heaven's name I was going to do about Susan's abilities. I knew what the law required, and I knew what friendship demanded. I sighed, trying not to dwell on the horrible timing, but my mind wouldn't obey. Would she go back to hating me, only more than before, or would she just try to kill me outright? The question was only half facetious. I pondered all the way back to Medlab. Maybe she wouldn't remember any of it. Somehow, I thought that wasn't very likely.
~.~
The next couple of hours were a blur of noise and light, punctuated by a jack-hammer headache. I had dawdled back to Medlab following Franklin, taking the opportunity to stabilize my blocks and shake the mental echoes out of my head. The surgery was draining and seemed to last forever, but I stood outside of the glass enclosed surgery theater until Franklin finally wiped the surgical cap from his head in exhaustion and gestured for the nurses to finish.
I did my best to stay out of the way as they wheeled her into a recovery area behind one of several temporary partitions that had been set up to accommodate all of the injured. After they had finished hooking up a bevy of evil looking machines and left, I pulled up a chair to the head of the bed and sat. The swirl of activity shifted away from me now, and my vigil was peaceful.
Sometime later a hand shook me awake from where I was leaning on my crossed arms against the bed. Franklin's voice drifted down. "You look like hell, Talia. Go back to your quarters and go to bed." His tone was gentler than the words, but still uncompromising.
My eyes bleary, I looked up at his face, pale and lined with exhaustion. "You don't look so good yourself, Stephen."
"I'll make it a medical order if I have to," he said, ignoring my comment. "Now get out of here. I don't want to see you back for at least six hours."
I repressed a groan as I stood stiffly. "Don't I remember an old saying about a pot and a kettle? You should get some rest too, Stephen."
"I will. Go on now." I didn't believe him, but left anyway.
A vibe shower isn't nearly as satisfying as a long hot soak, but I made do and collapsed into bed.
~.~
It was actually eight hours before I returned to check on Susan. Medlab was quiet, most of the minor injuries had been released already, and still others moved to secondary medical facilities. Only Susan and one other serious injury patient were left. I didn't see Franklin, and the few nurses were busy with the other patient. I headed back to her little space behind the partition without bothering them.
She was resting quietly, the bruises now visible on her face. The machines had all been removed and the large bandage that had been on her forehead was replaced by a piece of surgical tape to hold the cut closed. It looked oddly small, considering how much blood there had been. But overall her color was better and she seemed to be breathing all right.
I removed my gloves and resumed my chair, and keeping my eyes on her, thought about what I was doing here. She certainly didn't need me to take care of her and the nurses were more than capable of handling any crisis. So what was it?
There was the issue of her secret which I now knew, but I had awoken with the realization that I wasn't going to turn her in to the Corps no matter what the law said. I knew only a few details of her history, but they were enough. I could never bring myself to destroy her that way. Plus my feelings about the Corps had undergone a minor revolution since Jason's return and transformation. It hurt to know that I couldn't trust my family anymore.
The truth was that I was lonely here on Babylon 5. There was no social scene where a teep would be welcome, and all my friends in the Corps were on Earth or Mars. They wouldn't understand my change in attitude towards the Corps anyway.
Susan and I had been engaged in a cautious dance towards friendship ever since Alisa Beldon. I had been attracted to Susan from the first moment I'd seen her, if I was honest with myself. I felt a flutter of anticipation in my stomach, and the thought of those steel blue eyes looking through me reignited the tingles from the other night.
But I shook off the pleasurable reverie and returned to the present question. Should I tell her that I knew her secret?
My first thought was no. I was no danger to her, and what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her. But I reconsidered that after a few minutes of further thought. To the contrary, this secret was a major threat to her life and career, and possibly even her very existence. She deserved to know who held that secret, if only for her own defense. Plus, I was a terrible liar.
My thoughts were interrupted by Dr. Franklin sticking his head around the partition. "Ivanova's Guardian Angel back at work I see." He grinned at me. Before I could respond to that he added, "The sedatives should be wearing off any time now. When she wakes up, see if you can get her to drink a little water. And if she has trouble keeping it down, come and get me, ok?" Then he was gone.
I shook my head with a snort of bemused laughter and returned to my thoughts.
Yes, I should definitely tell her the truth – hopefully she wouldn't think that I was trying to hold it over her and push me away again. I started arranging sentences in my head, choosing my words with care. Only to be interrupted again.
"Guardian angel, huh?" The voice was hoarse and faint. Susan looked up at me wearily, but I thought that there might be some humor in her eyes.
I smiled at her. "I don't feel very angelic at the moment. How do you feel?"
She grimaced slightly. "Not angelic." Struggling to take a deeper breath, she added, "Terrible."
I held a glass of water from the bedside so that she could take the straw in her mouth. "Here, drink this."
It took some effort, but she finally got a few sips down. "Ugh." She closed her eyes in exhaustion at the effort. After a moment, her eyes still closed, she asked, "How bad?"
"You have a concussion from a blow to the head. Your whole left side was nearly crushed; two broken ribs, one of which punctured your lung and ruptured your spleen, causing a lot of internal bleeding, and a hairline fracture of the pelvis." I paused to steady my voice. "You were lucky, we only just barely found you in time."
She considered this for a while, and then opened her eyes to look up at me grimly. "How many?"
Sensing the remembered horror underneath the question, I didn't try to dissemble. "Thirty seven injured, two severely, one of which is you." She raised one eyebrow at me pointedly, and waited for the answer that she really wanted, so I reluctantly added, "And four dead, those who were working high up on the scaffolding."
She closed her eyes against the grief and guilt, which I could feel plainly. "My fault," she rasped.
"No," I said forcefully to get her attention. "It was an accident; you're not responsible for that."
She blinked at the ceiling for a moment and her voice when she spoke was flat and expressionless, for all the turmoil I could sense beneath. "I was in charge; I'm answerable."
I didn't try to dissuade her; the conviction underlying the statement was absolute. That I could feel the emotions radiating from her was an indication of how affected by the accident she was. I offered her more water silently, then straightened the blankets and sat back down, leaving my bare hand resting lightly on her arm in comfort. When she finally seemed to be breathing easier, I asked gently, "How much do you remember?"
Her confusion was evident. "It all seems so mixed up. The last thing that I remember was looking up at the scaffolding." She paused uncertainly. "No wait, there was a loud noise and the floor shook, then I landed on the floor and hit my head." She reached up and touched the cut on her forehead, wincing at the motion. "I got back on my feet and was looking up, trying to blink the blood out of my eyes. It started to fall and I tried to move out of the way, but my feet were tangled in something. Then everything after that is all jumbled."
The struggle to remember was beginning to upset her, so I said, "Just relax, it'll come back in time. That was a pretty hard knock on the head that you took."
"Maybe." She looked doubtful. "It's just that my memory is always so perfect, it feels funny to not be able to put all of the pieces together."
"I'm sure that all you need is some rest. We can talk more later, ok?"
She gazed up at me with a heartbreakingly open look. "I've been having these dreams..." She trailed off hesitantly, and made a restless movement under the thin Medlab blanket.
I stroked her forehead and her mind to calm her. Hopelessness and uncertainty were very unlike the Ivanova that everyone knew and respected, another measure of the effect the accident had upon her. "Shh, it's all right. I'll stay with you until you fall asleep." Her eyes started to drift closed and I risked another mental stroke. "Rest now."
Her eyes still closed, she grumbled at me. "I should be mad at you for that."
"For what?"
"Touching my mind." One blue eye appeared briefly, then winked closed.
I was momentarily startled, did she mean just now, or before?
But she continued. "My mother used to do that when I was little and woke from a bad dream."
I mentally sighed in relief; I really didn't want to get into it at the moment. But all I said was, "Sleep."
~.~
I sat at the Eclipse Café the next morning trying to integrate my normal psi senses with my newly altered perceptions. Initially they had seemed like a separate, almost alien thing that I had to turn on and off, but it didn't take long before the shift was so subtle that I barely noticed it. It wasn't second nature yet, nor was integrating my vision, but those were just a matter of time. I already felt that I had the dexterity to pull in people's full thoughts, but the law and my Corps conditioning stopped me. Sensing emotions this way wasn't too different than walking around with my telepathic shields down, and in fact I had more control now, and could pick and choose rather than enduring a constant bombardment.
An older man in clean blue coveralls walked by, a simple unclouded mind, happy in his work. A woman argued with the operator of the café, garish language to go with garish clothes, but her irritability covered her worry about a loved one. More worry from the proprietor of a kiosk at the edge of the bazaar, but the object was so vague and obscure, that I got the impression that it was his normal state of mind. A middle aged couple argued with one another just beyond that. It felt trivial, like a proxy for a deeper conflict, and they both knew it.
I was starting to tire now and about to return to my rapidly cooling tea, when I tapped into the distinctive personality matrix that I had encountered in bay 15, with the same spikes of hostility. It disappeared just as quickly as it had before. I glanced around the café and the closer areas of the bazaar as casually as I could, but there was no one. This worried me, because the object of the hostility this time was me.
I decided to put off preparing for my next client and take a stroll through the crowded bazaar. I soon caught the feeling again. A few stalls down the row, I chanced upon some interesting jewelry, and I nonchalantly turned back to see who was behind me, but again saw no one of interest.
So, it was to be a game a hunter and prey. I wandered across the aisle and back, still browsing. I remembered having once seen a deer in a nature preserve outside Vienna. It had grazed with apparent unconcern at my presence, but I noticed that its ears had flicked back and forth at every sound. I could do casual but alert.
I felt the person one more time as I went down the long section of the bazaar, but ignored it. At the far end, there was a sharp corner where the aisle turned towards some more traditional and permanent shops. I slowly went around the inside angle of the turn, went a few more steps, then abruptly reversed course back around the corner, hoping to catch whoever was following me.
A flash of grey spun around and disappeared into the crowd, accompanied by a sharp jolt of agitation. A docker's grey coveralls and hat, with short dark hair of indeterminate gender, not enough to identify anyone by, but the mind was definitely the same one I'd felt in the bay. I didn't know whether to feel vindicated at this discovery or not.
I stood there trying to figure out what sort of person could hate both of us. It puzzled me, because Susan and I didn't normally move in the same circles or have the same friends. The only person who really connected us was Alisa, but she was on Minbar, and with no family remaining, there shouldn't be any one to be bothered by it.
My musing was interrupted by the brisk voice of Garibaldi. "Ms. Winters." He gave me a short nod of greeting. "I was wondering if you had sensed anything strange in bay 15 while you were there."
"I sensed a great many things," I said drily. "What sort of strange were you looking for?"
Garibaldi ignored my tone and glanced around, then drew me off to one side. "Anything that might suggest that the accident wasn't accidental," he said in a low voice. Surprisingly, he wasn't trying to lie to me for once.
I was shocked. "You aren't serious?"
"Very," he said tersely.
"Well, not everyone was appalled at the destruction, but I didn't sense anything criminal." I raised one eyebrow at him.
Garibaldi looked at me thoughtfully. "What do you mean?"
I hesitated; I had no evidence of anything. Finally I said reluctantly, "Someone in the bay was pretty pleased with the results, and certainly didn't regret that Ivanova had been injured." I shrugged. "As an officer with a very strict sense of duty, I assume that not all of the crew likes her."
Garibaldi shook his head. "No, they respect her, and are completely loyal, down to the last person." His voice grew sharp. "Who was it?"
"I don't know, it was too brief for me to tie it to a specific individual." That was the truth. "And I only caught the feeling once." Stretching, but still true.
"Well, if you hear or sense anything more about it, you let me know immediately. You understand?" He shifted his weight as if to leave.
But I had a few questions myself. "Mr. Garibaldi, what were they constructing in bay 15?"
I expected to be rebuffed, but he answered. "They were retrofitting a new air handling system to make it easier for the Gaim and other methane breathers to dock here." He shrugged. "But we've had trouble the last few months with anti-alien groups."
That was possible. I knew more about what had gone down with Homeguard and its aftermath than he was aware of. My clients ran the entire spectrum of popular opinion, and unlike Susan, few were good at controlling their surface thoughts. Any of those thoughts that I might pick up during negotiations were confidential privileged information, and there was nothing that I could legally do about them unless they indicated obvious criminal activity. But there had been a few regarding Homeguard that had come very close to being actionable.
Still. "But there are other areas set aside for alternate atmosphere aliens," I pointed out. "Why didn't they attack those? It would have had more impact." Garibaldi looked thoughtful. "As far as I can see, the only ones injured were humans, all of whom were crew and dockers affiliated with Babylon 5."
He shrugged again. "We're looking into every possibility."
After he'd gone, I continued on to meet my client, thinking the whole way. If this did have something to do with Homeguard, then it looked like retaliation. Why else would they attack humans? There was nothing I could see to connect it to the previous Homeguard incident, and yet it bothered me. The thought of Susan's involvement brought back my initial perception of the malicious person in bay 15. Why not hate Sinclair too?
And for that matter, why now hate me?
In this increasingly troubled state, I went to meet my client. It took considerable effort to focus on my job and make it through the complex negotiations, but I managed well enough that they were concluded early, and by the end I felt that I had honestly earned my fee.
It was late when I finally made it back to Medlab. The lights were down and the only sound was the faint whisper of various pieces of equipment. Susan was asleep, as I had expected, but I could tell that her condition had improved and she was resting peacefully. I sat with her for over an hour, letting the silence and calm drain all of the tension out of me as I filled out my reports from the day's talks. The Corps, like all bureaucracies, was addicted to paperwork.
When I finally made it back to my own bed, I slept immediately and without disturbance.
~.~
I awoke the next morning with my mind clear and ready to address the problem. With the negotiations of yesterday completed, I had the day to myself. Bay 15 seemed the best place to start, so I headed there.
It was loud in the bay when I arrived. The majority of the debris had been shifted to the perimeter, leaving the central area open for equipment to construct a new scaffold. The dockers were shouting back and forth over a heavy metallic pounding, the crane engine was coughing, and two people in the middle were arguing over the placement of an object that I didn't recognize. They all ignored me, so I felt free to walk around the outside edge searching for objects that had been closest to the blast.
The scaffolding was up to its third level by the time I located the bent hatch where I had seen the blood. The smell of it had long gone, but the sight still made me queasy. Ordinarily, too much time would have passed for me to get any useful information, but I was hoping that my new abilities would be able to tell me something. Turning my back on the workers, I removed my gloves and placed my bare hands on the metal and concentrated. The psi echoes were faint and I struggled to draw them in at the same time I blocked the other mental energies in the bay.
It was confusing at first; all I could see was a small metallic cylinder with a blinking red light. Somewhere behind me another argument broke out and I silently cursed the dockers before focusing once again.
Hands. There were hands holding the cylinder; older, lined and rough with calluses, yet still steady. With a flick of the wrist, the top and bottom halves were rotated counter to one another and a button was pushed. The light stopped blinking and the hands reached to open the hatch to the circuit panel behind and then placed the cylinder inside. The door was almost shut when there was a blinding flash of light, then everything went dark and there was nothing but pain.
I dropped the thread and took a deep breath, then pulled it in again. The same image over and over. Cylinder, hands, flash, then pain. Other pieces around, variously bent and twisted by the explosion, couldn't give me anything more than vague impressions, he hadn't been as close to them.
So the injured man next to Susan in Medlab was the bomber. Garibaldi was right, it wasn't an accident.
I looked quickly around. The dockers were still ignoring me and another level had been added to the scaffold. Relieved that I didn't have to explain myself to anyone, I headed out and turned towards Medlab. I needed to see this man.
Medlab was in a state of minor bedlam when I arrived. A large group of people was milling around in the back, cordoned off by security guards, while Garibaldi's second in command, Zack Allen questioned a woman with long dark hair who was weeping over the man I had come to see.
Officer Welch stopped me just inside the door. "I'm sorry, Ms. Winters, I can't let you in just now."
"Why, what's going on?"
"One of the injured dockers was murdered this morning." He didn't look at me, he kept his eyes on the group of people in the back.
I was stunned. A few of the group started arguing with the guards. "Who are they?"
Again not looking at me, Welch answered. "They're from a colony ship that stopped at the station due to some weird flu. Whoever killed Jorge Piedra snuck in here with as part of their group then slipped out while everything was still confused."
I thought about that for a moment then said, "What's the latest on the explosion? Garibaldi asked me to look into it and see if I sensed anything." I was getting better at this lying thing.
Welch flicked a quick glance at me. "Some kind of advanced military tech. We almost missed the explosives residues, but found part of the ignition circuit."
"Garibaldi mentioned that Homeguard had brought in some advanced weaponry before," I said.
Welch nodded. "Yeah, and Piedra's just the kind of guy that Homeguard would recruit."
"Oh?" I encouraged him to talk, doubting that Garibaldi would continue to be forthcoming.
"Yeah, he used to work on a mining colony before the war. The Minbari destroyed it and his family. He was pretty broken up about it, but he turned it around lately. Even got remarried." He gestured towards the weeping woman. Allen was awkwardly patting her shoulder. "I could have sworn that he'd finally put it all behind him."
He didn't sound like someone who would have committed suicide then. I really wished I could have gotten to him. "Well, I have to go find Garibaldi," was all I said and left.
I didn't know if Piedra had set the bomb for Homeguard or for some other purpose, but I felt in my gut that somehow the person in grey was connected, I just couldn't see how. I needed to identify them, but without evidence, I didn't dare go through the normal channels. Unfortunately, I knew none of the station's criminal element.
Or didn't I? The image of Vasily popped into my head. He was a criminal element, right?
~.~
I made my way through Down Below, every nerve on edge. There was no overt threat, but I sensed it easily in the displaced and desperate humanity swirling around me. Putting on as self-assured a face as I could, I repeatedly asked for Vasily. I was pointed one way and another until I was certain that I was being sent in circles.
Finally I caught sight of the battered-face man that had been with Vasily at Earhart's. That face was unmistakable.
I ran after him and grabbed his arm. "Take me to Vasily," I demanded.
He jerked his arm away with a snarl and cocked it as if to hit me. "Get out of here, bitch." Then his eye fell on my conspicuous Psi-Corps badge, and I felt his jolt of fear.
I decided to play on that fear a little and tapped the badge with one finger. "You know that I can twist your mind into doing whatever I want," I lied casually. "So why don't you do what I ask?" He became sullen, and I could feel his stubbornness rising, so I added a small mental push. Just enough for a normal to feel, to lend credence to my threat. I shoved my guilt at this violation of Corps rules aside to concentrate on the petty criminal before me.
He gave in with a growl, and set off in a new direction. I struggled to keep up with his fast pace.
He stopped at a dark narrow corridor. It was frankly the most frightening part of Down Below that I had yet been in. There was a door at the far end, but in between was a minefield of barrels and crates, making the narrow space even more claustrophobic. The shadows between the barely recognizable objects were deep and malevolent, cast by a lone dim light halfway down.
I turned to my guide to ask if we were to go through that door, but he had disappeared, leaving me to face the gauntlet alone. I shivered and nearly gave up. But I had a job to do, I reminded myself, and once again opened my mind to whatever energies might be present. There was nothing, but my skin still crawled and my heart thundered in my ears as I made my way cautiously towards the door. I could tell that the hallway was empty of people, but that didn't make me any less tense. Given the echoes... violence had been done here. Many times.
The door was heavy metal, and even when I knocked as loud as my knuckles would allow, there was hardly a sound. I punched the electric interlock even though it looked broken, and jumped when the door slid silently aside. There was nothing but a yawning blackness on the other side and my heart raced faster.
I forced myself across the threshold. "Hello?" I tried to say, but it came out a hoarse croak. I tried again. "Is anyone here?" My senses were keyed as high as they could go, but there was nothing but the faint echo of my voice. I whirled around as the door slid shut, closing off what little light there was from the hallway and plunging me into absolute darkness.
I jumped then for a different reason as an oily voice spoke in my ear. I think I screamed, just a little.
"Well, you're a pretty one, aren't you?" A hand grabbed my elbow and I could feel hot fetid breath on my neck.
Unsteadily, I said, "I'm here to see Vasily."
"Vasily can wait, now can't he?" the oily voice insinuated, still breathing close on my neck. A hand started to grope me.
It made me feel filthy and contaminated, but at least the physical touch gave my psi senses greater purchase and I gave him a mental push. I repeated myself as forcefully as I could, "I need to see Vasily."
The mental contact had no effect on him, and the hand started tugging me away from the door. "Oh, I think you need to see me first." Then he added, "You'll make a nice addition."
I panicked then at the vile shadowy images I glimpsed in his mind. "No!" I shouted. "Get your hands off of me!" I struggled to get my arm free and lashed out at him mentally. The pain of that I knew he had to feel.
Suddenly the lights came on and a familiar voice boomed. "Kraven! Get out of here you disgusting little pervert. Leave us."
I stood blinking at the sudden light that filled the small anteroom, panting with terror trying to get myself back under control, and glad beyond measure to see Vasily. I pushed Susan's warning from my mind and clung to the brittle security that he represented.
I glanced at the one he named Kraven. He was a mousy little man with dull eyes and curiously twisted shoulders that gave a sinister look to someone otherwise wholly unremarkable. He practically cowered and whined, "Aw, Vasily..."
"Enough," Vasily barked. "Go."
Kraven had nothing to do but go, and he went out the door I had entered through.
I had myself under nominal control now and I turned to Vasily. "Thank you."
He made a movement as if to brush something aside. "What do you want?" I noticed that he had dropped both the Russian accent and all pretense of joviality.
"I need some information." He looked at me stonily. "About the sabotage in bay 15."
"I don't know anything," he said harshly. "Now get out of here."
"Please." I tried not to actually beg, but it was a close thing. "Lieutenant Commander Ivanova was seriously injured and I need your help."
"What do I care who got hurt? Just another arm of the law out of my way."
I think my jaw dropped at that. I could have sworn that he had considered Susan something of a friend, or at least someone to respect, even if she was on the other side of the law.
"Are you leaving or what?" His voice managed to be both bored and menacing, and I shivered. "Or maybe I should call Kraven back."
I pushed aside my instinctual shudder at that thought. "Wait." What do raiders and smugglers want? "What about your thousand credits?" I thought I saw a flicker at that, but he didn't speak. I looked inwards, focusing my thoughts to attempt influencing his mind directly. This would ordinarily be far beyond my abilities, but I was no longer an ordinary P5. He interrupted before I could try, and I looked back up to see that he had been gazing thoughtfully at my badge. I assumed that his little minion had told him about my threat.
"I will ask around," he said grudgingly. "But I make no promises." He gave me a thin smile that was in no way reassuring. "It may end up costing you more than the thousand." After a short bark of laughter, he continued, "And stay away from high places if you're going to hang around Ivanova."
"Why?" I was confused at the apparent non sequitur.
"She once threw a telepath over a third floor balcony." His grin at my surprise would have made a shark envious. "Didn't she tell you?" Then he spun on his heel and exited through another door of the anteroom.
Glancing around nervously, I went back out the way I had come. I walked as quickly as I could without running and glanced frequently over my shoulder. At every turn the specter of Kraven haunted me until I made it back to the upper levels and red sector. But even there, the feeling of being followed persisted.
~.~
Once back in my quarters, I decided to do a little research on Homeguard. I knew that they were involved in attacks on aliens a few months ago, and had tried to recruit Commander Sinclair. A search of station records only turned up the name of Malcolm Biggs, so I queried the StellarCom network for information on him and paced restlessly until it came through. I needed to know what had happened to him and to see if it was possible that he was back to his old tricks. I still had judicial standing with the Mars courts from my work there scanning criminals, and this gave me deeper access to court records and prisoner information. If Homeguard was behind this, he was the only link between it and Ivanova.
Finally tired of walking back and forth, I did an additional search of station records for the firm whose negotiator I knew had been the most sympathetic to Homeguard. I might be able to learn if Homeguard was still active on the station. "That's odd," I muttered. It appeared that they were no longer doing business here. They had closed up shop shortly after Biggs' arrest, no explanation given.
I puzzled over this, following up on several other people whose thoughts had indicated interest in Homeguard, but they had also left Babylon 5. Strange. Even stranger was the result of search for information on Biggs when it came through: Nothing. I could track him to Mars the previous year, but all public record of his arrival on Babylon 5 and his arrest had been wiped. There was no record of a trial for him and his co-conspirators, nor any prison records.
Something had to be going on. I switched to the Psi-Corps internal news service; it usually contained supplementary information not found in the regular media, and its database contained more background material than was available to the average citizen.
No mention of Homeguard, the incident here on Babylon 5 or of Malcolm Biggs. Now I was positive that something was going on. If someone high up in the government was sympathetic to Homeguard's message, I could understand the regular public databases being censored, but the Corps' too?
Finally I gave up in frustration. Everything I tried lead to a dead end and I was getting nowhere. Then I remembered Vasily's comment about Susan. Dare I look the incident up? If she had killed a telepath, the Corps would have certainly made a note of it. I hesitated, not really sure if I wanted to know the answer. But... Yes, I dared.
Again there was nothing. I was getting annoyed at coming up blank, and yet this time I was also relived. And confused, because I had sensed that Vasily wasn't lying. What had really happened? I finally had to give up on that too.
Just as I was finishing a late lunch, I got a call for a last minute job from one of my regulars. Not having any more leads that I could follow, I agreed. My nerves were still so much on edge from earlier that I imagined that I was still being followed the whole way to the meeting. Several times I turned quickly to see who might be behind me, but of course there was nobody. On my way through the bazaar, another frequent client that I was friendly with greeted me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. I managed to concentrate through work, and thankfully my nerves and my imagination had calmed down by the time we were done.
It was well into evening when I finally got to Medlab to see Susan. She was awake, but in a particularly sullen mood. "You sound a little irritable," I observed with a smile.
"I just want out of here." The frustration practically sheeted off of her.
I refrained from trying to touch her mind to calm her. In her current state, I knew she wouldn't be as forgiving as she had before. "I think that you need to rest and heal more before they can release you."
"That's just it, they won't let me rest. Someone's in here every thirty minutes poking and prodding." She made a sharp dismissive gesture. "I just want everyone to leave me the hell alone!" she said vehemently.
I must have winced at the sharp emotion because she was immediately contrite. "God Talia, I'm sorry, I didn't mean you." She reached out with her good hand and took mine. "After everything you've done, you're the last person that I should snap at."
Susan shone with honest regret. I was starting to gain a real appreciation for that honesty. It made her a positive relief to deal with, even when she wasn't in the best of moods. Most people would have resorted to a weak and insincere "present company excepted," and it was always a struggle for me to have to try and reconcile the difference between their inner feelings with their outer expression.
But Susan's touch brought a different awareness. "You're in pain," I said quietly.
"Don't tell Franklin," she said pleadingly. "He'll just dope me up again, and that's worse."
"Well, thank goodness you're not mad at me," I said in mock relief. "I was beginning to be glad we weren't by a third floor balcony." Perhaps it wasn't the best thing to distract her with, but it worked.
Susan groaned. "Where did you hear that story?"
"That's not important. Did you really throw a telepath from that height?" I could tell that she didn't feel the slightest guilt, and I was dying of curiosity. "You could have killed them."
She grinned unexpectedly. "Nah, there was a pool down below; he was never in any danger."
Something connected at that, and I remembered why she said Vasily called her Rusalka. This then was the long drop into a pool of water. "So why did you do it?"
Susan moved one shoulder in a half shrug. "He was drunk and scanning people."
I clucked my tongue in disbelief. "Telepaths don't get drunk, Corps rules forbid alcohol."
"Well," she said dryly, "either that or he was doing a damn good imitation in order to illicitly gather diplomatic secrets."
I had no answer to that, so she continued.
"It was a diplomatic reception on Io for the new Abbai ambassador before the last leg of her trip to Earth. The Abbai are psi-sensitives you know." She glanced up at me, and I nodded to indicate that I knew. "Anyway, they pointed him out to the guards who distracted him so that I could sneak up behind him."
"Because you were the only one who could get behind him without him sensing you," I hazarded a guess.
Susan nodded. "Something like that. We sent him back to the PsiCorps, I don't know what happened to him after that."
"Must have been a rogue telepath," I said. Susan gave me a disbelieving look, and it pained me to understand her doubts. A year ago I could have never believed that the Corps would do something like that, but now? However. "A registered telepath would have known about the Abbai and been more careful around them."
"Maybe," she shrugged one shoulder again. "And by the way," she added with a quirky smile, "you've never been in any danger of being thrown in a pool."
I laughed. "But only because there are no pools on Babylon 5."
Susan's laugh broke off in a gasping wheeze as her ribs contracted painfully. "Oh god, don't make me laugh like that!"
On that cheerful note I left medlab, leaving a note for Dr. Franklin suggesting that perhaps his patient would be a little more cooperative if allowed to rest undisturbed for longer periods.
~.~
I was much more cheerful as I headed back to my quarters and forgot to worry about being followed or any other off happenings. This made the shock when I entered much more potent. The place was a mess.
I stood in the doorway with every sense taut with the stain of trying to figure out if the person who'd done this was still present. My new abilities were more closely integrated now and it didn't take me long to figure out that I was alone except for the faint echoes of malice.
The couch and chair were overturned, every shelf cleared and the floor covered with their contents. The delicate little shepherdess of Dresden porcelain that I had packed so carefully on Earth for the long trip to Mars, than again for the even longer trip to Babylon 5, was broken. I picked up the pieces with a lump in my throat, but I refused to cry. I placed them back on the shelf where they looked mournful all alone.
I moved to the bedroom. The bed sheets were pulled back and every drawer had been emptied. If the person who did this was looking for something particular, they couldn't have found much, there was nothing to find but clothing. In numb silence I started to pick up a few things, then gave up and dropped them back on the floor.
I thought that I had been afraid before, but I was quakingly terrified now. What would have happened if I hadn't gone to the unexpected meeting? I hadn't planned on being anywhere but here. I shivered.
It was very late now and I had no place to go, staying wasn't even an option as far as I was concerned. Suddenly I thought of the person in grey. They had hated Susan, and I couldn't help thinking that she might be in danger too.
I headed back to Medlab, looking over my shoulder every few steps, my heels echoing oddly through the empty halls, feeling menaced by every shadow. My mental blocks were down and I strained my senses to catch every stray sensation.
It was mostly dark when I got to Medlab, lit only by a single computer screen, and I silently willed the night nurse to not look up from her patient records. She gave no indication that she was aware of my presence as I slipped behind the partition to my usual chair next to Susan's bed. Careful not to wake her, I rested my head on my arms against the mattress.
Sometime after midnight someone shook me awake. I came alert with a start, heart pounding. It was only Susan. "Hey, what are you doing here?" she whispered.
I stood silently and looked around the partition wall to check on the nurse, but didn't see her. I sat back down wearily. Keeping my voice low I said evasively, "There was a problem with my quarters."
"Please Talia, give me a little credit. Garibaldi's walking around looking all mysterious, and with Piedra's death this morning, it's obvious that something is going on."
"You know about Piedra?" I was startled, though perhaps I shouldn't have been.
Susan gave me a disgusted look and pointed to an ear. "These do work, you know."
I sighed quietly. "I'm sorry, Susan, I shouldn't have assumed. It's been a long couple of days."
"So what is it?"
"My quarters were ransacked earlier this evening."
Susan was plainly surprised. "What? Why?"
"Shh, keep your voice down." I was still worried that the nurse might return. "I've been looking into the explosion. It wasn't an accident, and Piedra was the one that set the bomb. It was some kind of advanced military explosive; Garibaldi thinks that it might have something to do with Homeguard."
Susan's wits were obviously back to normal because she caught the implications after only a second of thought. "So was it a new action on their part, or was it in retaliation?"
"I would guess retaliation. I think sensed the person behind it, and they certainly hate you." I was suddenly nervous, it seemed safe enough here, but had I heard someone come in? I hadn't been paying proper attention, no telling the danger we could be in...
I almost missed Susan's question. "Who was it?"
I tried to shake off my rising anxiety and concentrate. "I don't know." I paused for a second, and then plunged on, unable to pull my nerves back from the edge. "Susan, I think we need to get you out of here."
She grinned suddenly. "Hey, no complaints from me."
"It's not funny," I shot back. "I really feel like you're in danger."
Susan softened immediately. "Relax. I believe you." She struggled to sit up, gasping with effort. "Franklin hit me with the bone regenerator again a while ago; I should be able to get around. Here, help me up." I supported her shoulders as best I could until she could swing her legs over the side of the bed. "See if you can find me a robe or something, would you?"
I slipped out into the main part of Medlab, momentarily galvanized by something concrete to do. I tiptoed around checking for the nurse, but she was nowhere to be seen. I returned with another gown, a robe and some slippers. Thus outfitted, I helped her onto her feet and slid an arm around her waist to support part of her weight. She indicated left when we got out into the corridor.
The hallways were blessedly empty, but I still stopped at each turning. I let Susan rest against the wall while I stood just before each juncture and carefully extended my senses around the corner to make sure that there was no one there. Once I left her to backtrack two turns and make sure that we weren't being followed.
Susan gave me an odd look. "You can really sense around corners?"
I returned her look with a casual shrug, and pretended that it was a perfectly normal ability for a P5. "Sure." She was silent, but I could tell by the look on her face that she didn't believe me.
It seemed to take forever at the slow pace that was all Susan could manage, but at last we reached a locked secure door. She paused to regain her breath. I was surprised that she was doing so well, but could tell that she was tiring. "How are you holding up? Is it much further?"
"We're almost there; we should be safe enough back here, this area requires security clearance." She straightened back up and punched a code into the door lock. "The pain isn't that bad, I'm mostly just dizzy and light-headed."
"Probably from the blood loss," I said as we passed through into the corridor beyond.
Susan crinkled her nose at me with a slight smile. "Thank you, Dr. Winters."
"Sorry, I'm just worried about you."
"I know. They sure gave you the toughest case on the books when they were handing out Guardian Angel assignments, didn't they?" Real affection came through the teasing and I blushed.
"I don't mind it, really." To deflect further comment I asked, "Where are we now?"
"We're right behind Medlab actually." She pointed me down another hallway. "We're headed to Blue 3, near the Sanctuary."
We stopped one more time for Susan to rest. She leaned silently against the wall with her eyes shut. I risked a quick mental look, not really touching, but coming close enough to sense the movement of her mind. She was mostly back in control of her thoughts now I noticed, and the openness of her emotions that I had enjoyed was almost gone. It was only by the small pucker between her eyebrows that I could tell that the pain had increased again. There was nothing to be done about it, so I kept quiet and just put my arm back around her waist in support when she was ready to move.
There was a musty stillness in the room when we entered that indicated that it hadn't been used in some time. It was more of a Spartan tomb than anything I would have expected to find on the station. "What is this place?" I asked curiously. There was a narrow bed that folded down from the wall, leaving just enough room if you stood sideways to get by to a small enclosure at the back wall that had an all-in-one bathroom and sonic shower. A small closet on the wall opposite the bed blocked the way when both were open.
"These are temporary quarters for security personnel to use when there's important conferences in the Sanctuary. They're near enough that they can catch a little sleep if needed and yet rotate shifts quickly." Susan was trying to tug the bed down from the wall, but was struggling due to her ribs. I stepped over and pulled it down for her.
She sank down onto it gratefully. "Thanks."
Rummaging in the closet, I found a couple of inadequate pillows and a blanket. I tossed them over, but found that Susan had lain back and was practically asleep already. I slipped one of the pillows under her head and she immediately rolled over with a sleepy mumble onto her right side facing the wall. I draped the blanket over her and crawled under it, spooning myself with care and draping my arm gingerly over her. Before I could think about this odd turn of events, I was asleep.
Somewhere in the night I dreamed that she rolled over to face my direction and kissed me. The warmth of her body pressed again mine was mildly arousing and I rocked against her gently as I returned the kiss. The warm ocean of sensation seemed to go on forever as lips and bodies moved together, and I wrapped my mind around hers tighter and tighter, overjoyed at being able to express my feelings at last.
When I woke in the morning, I discovered that Susan actually had rolled over, and that we had our arms wrapped around one another. I was embarrassed to think that the rest might be true as well; I certainly hadn't intended to take advantage of her. I was careful not to move and wake her, and lay there enjoying the sensation of her pressed up against me and doing my best to ignore my arm that had fallen asleep.
Finally she started to stir. "Good morning, sleepy head," I murmured. She didn't reply, just made a rumbling noise in her throat. "You awake?"
"Mmm. Sort of." Susan opened one eye, then closed it again with a sigh.
"Are you sure you're all right lying on your bad side like this?" The eye opened again giving me a narrow look and I chuckled. "All right, all right, too much fussing, I know."
"I'm fine," she grumbled. "So what are your plans now that you have me in your nefarious clutches?"
I sighed. "I honestly don't know. I'm kind of at an impasse."
"Well, tell me what you have so far."
I launched into a detailed explanation of everything that I had seen and done since the explosion. She only stopped me once, aghast.
"You mean to tell me that you actually went to Vasily?" Our bodies touching this close, I could feel the strength of her shocked dismay. "I'm not sure that's the smartest thing you ever did, but damn, Talia, that took guts."
When I finished with my recitation, we each stayed silent in our own thoughts for a few minutes. Finally she said, "Well the first thing to do is go to Garibaldi and make sure that he knows that Piedra set the bomb."
"But I don't have any proof," I objected.
"Doesn't matter, at this point he just needs to be pointed in the right direction." Susan paused to consider. "I know the names of all the crewmen working in the bay at the time, but I never got a full list of all the dockers, see if you can get one. Sounds like the person wanted to be on hand for the fireworks." She glanced around the small space. "And while you're doing that, I'll..."
"Promise me that you'll stay here," I interrupted. "Susan, please?"
She gave me an arch look. "Maybe." But at my look of entreaty, she relented. "Actually, I want to do a little computer sleuthing and see who censored the data on Homeguard." Susan yawned and stretched, an action that I found entirely too pleasurable, so I climbed out of bed hastily and headed to the bathroom to freshen up. "Hey do me a favor, would you?" she continued. "See if you can slip back into Medlab and grab my uniform and shoes. They weren't too torn up, so they should still be there."
"All right. Anything else?"
"Yeah, give me your identicard."
I jumped to hear her voice right behind me. While I wasn't in the same state as last night, my nerves were still overstrung. To cover my movement, I turned quickly and admonished her. "You shouldn't be out of bed."
"I'm fine." Susan's voice was filled with tolerant amusement. "Just a little stiff." She slid my card into the receiver on the comm screen. Her fingers flew too fast across the screen for me to see what she was doing before she whipped the card back out and handed it to me. "Here, now you can get back in through the door we used last night." She hesitated. "They'll probably be in an uproar about my leaving Medlab, don't tell anyone where I am."
I tucked my identicard away safely, still not daring to look at her directly. "Not even Garibaldi?"
Susan nodded. "Homeguard had to have someone on the inside in order to operate on Babylon 5 and we never found out whom, so best keep it secret for now."
I nodded and prepared to leave.
"And Talia? Be careful."
I risked a glance upward to look her straight in the eye. "You too," I said with emphasis.
Susan just grinned and waved me out the door.
~.~
I had slipped out the security door and rounded the first corner towards Medlab, when I saw Garibaldi's aide. I called him over to try and excuse my presence in this area. "Jack, have you seen Garibaldi? I have some information about Piedra."
Jack gave me an insincere smile. "I'll be glad to pass any information on to him."
"Thank you, but I prefer to tell him myself." The man gave me the creeps, but I could never pin the reason on anything concrete.
If anything the smile increased in insincerity. "Well, if I see him I'll tell him you're looking for him."
I was glad to leave him behind and head into the chaos of Medlab.
Dr. Franklin was bellowing orders, nurses and aides were scrambling, and someone pushed me none-too-gently out of the way from behind as a stretcher was wheeled in. Immediately nurses jumped on each side of the stretcher trying to staunch the flow of blood from a gaping wound full of splinters of bone in the man's lower abdomen. There was a blood soaked sheet over his legs, thankfully covering more damage there. I couldn't look at his face, my gorge was rising with the sight of all of the blood, which I didn't deal with well under the best of circumstances. Worst was the red knife-edged surge of his pain and panic flooding into my mind.
I fled back behind one of the partitions and bent over the bed desperately trying to not vomit. It cut off my mental perceptions, but I could still hear. Sickening gurgles from the man, Franklin's curt directions, an orderly's calm recitation of the victim's declining vital signs... only one thin wall between me and the horror that I couldn't block out. It was quickly apparent that it was losing battle and I felt guilty at my weakness, the least I could do was lend moral support. With a deep breath, I steeled myself best I could, and forced myself to step back out into the fray.
I walked around to a vantage point where I could see everything, my movements stiff with the effort to maintain control. My mental blocks were laughably insufficient given the level of tension in the room, but I braced myself against the buffeting. I compelled myself to look into the man's face and realized with shock that I knew who it was: Vasily.
With that break in my concentration, I felt myself drawn into his dying mind. His eyes were open and looking into mine, but I don't think that he knew or saw who I was. His mind was already locked into a death spiral, and nothing penetrated the chaotic firings of his brain. I struggled to pull him back to awareness. Who did this, Vasily? I increased my focus, blocking the noise and movement of people around me, and pouring more energy into his mind. Show me.
A coherent image began to form as I tried to amplify this last spark of lucidity. It was a person, a woman. Her features were a blur, but the weapon in her hand was not. Vasily's attention was intensely focused on it, and when her mouth moved, no sound reached his awareness. It looked like a PPG with a longer thinner barrel and when she fired it, there was a similar but smaller optical distortion of the air. The distortion might have been smaller, but the impact was not. It threw Vasily against a wall, and he slid to the floor, keeping his eyes glued to the gun, her face still peripheral. She stood over him, saying something else, and then fired again as he lay helpless. The image started to unravel as Vasily had gone into shock, but before it went black, she fired a third time and walked away.
He was failing in earnest now and even though I wanted to try and get a clearer picture of the woman's face, there was nothing more that I could do to hold mind and convulsing body together. I realized that I was too deep in his mind, and I tried to pull out in alarm. But like a drowning man clinging to a fragment of mast, his mind wouldn't let me go. One last effort, half in panic, and I knocked out his remaining consciousness. But silver black tendrils of death followed me as I wrenched myself out, entangling me. I struggled in full panic now to get loose.
One of the many people swirling around slammed into me in their hurry, finally breaking the connection and restoring my awareness of the room's noise and confusion. The last thing I remember were machines beeping in alarm as death finally released Vasily. Then everything went black.
~.~
Someone was bathing my face with a cool cloth. It felt good, but I kept my eyes firmly closed, not wanting to deal with reality just yet. Calm seemed to have been restored in Medlab, the only sounds were the distant murmured voices of Dr. Franklin consulting with Dr. Hernandez. If only for the moment, I felt safe and I wanted to prolong that. I willed my attendant to leave, which they promptly did.
I lay inert for a while trying to regain control of my bruised psi senses while images of the last few days flitted through my mind. Between Piedra's death and Vasily's, my frustration increased until I couldn't lie still any more. I got up and realized that they had put me in Susan's bed. Hunting around the small area, I found what she needed and snuck out.
Don't notice me, I silently told everyone in Medlab. And they didn't. Apparently I had more control left than I thought.
Which promptly dissolved when I reached the corridor. I felt exposed and vulnerable, and I practically ran back to the security door, not caring what the people in the halls thought. My hands were trembling and I fumbled my identicard, unable to get it into the slot. I took a deep breath and forced calm, then slid the card in and walked through the door and to our little hideaway at a sedate pace.
I collapsed as soon as I heard the hydraulic hiss of the door sliding closed behind me.
"Talia! What's wrong?" Susan leapt up and caught me just before I hit the floor, pulling me into a warm embrace. "Easy, easy... I got you." She rocked me back and forth as I shuddered and gripped her as tightly as I could, gently stroking my hair until my trembling passed. "What happened?" she finally asked.
"Vasily is dead," I said hoarsely.
"Who did it?"
With a final tremor, I stood up straight and stepped out of her arms. "Her name is Ilda Kane. I caught her name from Vasily's mind just as he died."
Susan ignored the information and cupped my cheek. "You were in his mind when he died? Are you all right?" she asked softly.
I nodded. "I will be."
She stepped closer so that our bodies were once again touching. "Are you sure?"
"Positive." I smiled and allowed myself to lean against her briefly. "We have to find her."
"What does she look like?"
"I'm not entirely sure," I said. "Vasily's memory was hazy on that point, he was more focused on the gun she was pointing at him. And he was disintegrating so fast that I couldn't..."
"Makes sense," Susan interrupted. "Quickly, don't think about it – dark hark, light hair?"
"Dark."
"Quick – wearing a uniform?"
"No."
"Principle colors – red?"
"No."
"Blue?"
"No. Wait, she was wearing grey."
"Could it be the person who followed you through the bazaar a few days ago?"
I thought about that. "Maybe. You remember that?" I asked curiously.
"I remember everything."
"But I didn't even remember until you said it."
"You're not me. Now, height – how tall was the person in the bazaar?"
"About my height, maybe a little shorter."
"And the woman in Vasily's memory?"
"I don't know, the perspective was too different, it was mostly from the floor looking up. Except," I said, considering the final image in Vasily's mind. "My impression was that she walked like you – very upright, back straight, shoulders square, determined."
"So we have a dark haired woman with military bearing and wearing grey coveralls. Is that right?"
Again I considered. "Yes, I think so. Do you really thing they're connected?"
"We can't take anything for granted, and you did ask Vasily to look into the sabotage." Susan turned to the comm screen. "Computer, search Ilda Kane. Cross reference military, employment and prison records." While that was running, she made me sit down on the bed and brought me a glass of water.
"I look that bad, huh?" I meant it as a joke, but it didn't quite come out that way.
Susan smiled. "No, you look as beautiful as always."
I immediately felt better, and glanced down with a blush. Before I could say anything else, the computer beeped and Susan turned away.
"I know that face," she said, surprised.
I stood and looked over her shoulder. "Maybe it could be her," I said doubtfully. "But the hair was shorter." The woman in the photo had her hair softly curled in waves down to her shoulders, framing a pixish face with a bright smile. She was looking sideways at a tall man with a smugly handsome face.
Once again Susan's fingers flew faster than I could follow over the comm screen. "Hmm, military background and works for Auricon. How convenient."
"What's Auricon?" I asked.
"Small arms manufacturer, supplies Earthforce and anyone else with enough money for a private army. Computer, access database file Ivanova-one, index record ten-thirty four." Another photograph popped up next to the first. This one a posed portrait, probably something official given the blank background. "I found this one earlier, it was taken at a vendor's showcase of new military technology."
"It's the same woman!" I exclaimed. Then I remembered something else. "Vasily was fixated on the gun that killed him and didn't recognize it, do you think it could be something new?"
"Entirely possible," Susan said grimly. She gestured at the man in the other photo. "And that's Malcolm Biggs." She muttered under her breath. "Don't know what I saw in him."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Nothing." She sighed and fell silent.
I studied the photos with her. Finally I said, "What do we do now?"
"We need to talk to Garibaldi and see what else he's learned about the explosion. And as luxurious as this place is," Susan said, looking around sarcastically, "I'd much rather be in my own quarters."
"Are you sure? You should..." I started to say, but stopped when she pinned me with a narrow-eyed severe look. "Sorry." Then I had the temerity to giggle.
Susan shook her finger in my face scoldingly. "Now look you..."
I know she meant to sound stern, but I could help myself and laughed. "Just being a good Guardian Angel," I managed to get out.
The frustration on her face dissolved into a rueful smile. "I'm not intimidating you at all, am I?" When I shook my head, still chuckling, she added in amused disgust, "All right, just try not to get too carried away."
"You do look much better," I said. And she did. She was steady on her feet and her eyes were clear, and the bruises on her face were starting change color, indicating healing. "But seeing as you only just barely made it this far last night, how about we keep it to a casual stroll, ok?"
Susan gave me an arch look. "If you insist." She turned back to the comm screen. "Just let me clear this first." She clipped the images and information and sent it to Garibaldi, then purged the unit's memory. "All set, let's go."
As we exited, I nudged her and playfully offered my arm, then laughed at her dirty look. I took delight at the gentle teasing, happily astonished that she allowed it. She walked slowly and stiffly, but didn't seem to be in pain. She immediately collapsed on the couch in exhaustion however, when we reached her quarters.
"How about I run down to the Zocalo and get some take out?" I really wanted to join her on the couch, but it was well past lunch and I was hungry.
Susan didn't open her eyes. "Sure, sounds good."
I took a quick psi look, but she wasn't radiating pain or anything other than simple fatigue, so I left her to rest.
~.~
I took it slowly in the Zocalo to leave her more time, so it was almost an hour when I returned to her quarters. There was no answer at the door and no response to the intercom.
I was debating with myself whether to keep ringing or let her rest when Garibaldi approached. "Ms. Winters, looking for Ivanova?"
"I left her resting a while ago but she's not answering, so I guess I'll let her sleep."
"That was quite the disappearing act she pulled," Garibaldi looked at me appraisingly. "You helped her with that?"
I shrugged, not wanting to reveal too much. "She really wanted out of Medlab."
"How much do you know about the information that she sent me? This Ilda Kane person?"
"Probably not much more than you," I said. "She's the one that killed Vasily Koloditskaya, and we think that she's involved in the explosion somehow."
"Well, that explains one thing about how he was killed." Garibaldi hit the door alarm, then a second time. "You're sure Ivanova was going to be here?"
My apprehension went up several notches. "Yes, she wasn't in any condition to go far."
He looked grim and slid his identicard into the slot. "Security override." The door beeped and slid open and he entered cautiously. "Ivanova?" There was no reply.
I followed him in, worried. "Maybe the bedroom?"
But her quarters were empty.
"This isn't good," Garibaldi said.
"What did you mean about how he died?"
Garibaldi went over to the comm screen and did another security override. "No messages. Nothing. Damn." He shot me a quick glance. "He wasn't killed by a regular weapon – the injuries looked like they were from a PPG set on its highest energy level. The blood where he was found indicated that that's he was shot, but the station's internal sensors didn't detect any weapons fire." He walked over and checked the bedroom again. "Not good at all. Kane has been linked to a couple of Homeguard operations, although there wasn't enough evidence to press charges. She disappeared from Auricon two weeks ago and no one has seen her since." He hit his link. "Security, this is Garibaldi. Zack, you there?"
I wandered back into Susan's bedroom, trying to block his mind and voice. There were echoes of a bitter hatred here, not mere malice like had been in my trashed quarters. This was merciless and just... cold. Even more than my quarters, this reminded me of the person I had felt in bay 15 after the explosion. The question was, could I track her now? I hadn't been having much luck so far, but now it looked like she had Susan and I had to try. Leaving Garibaldi to his conversation with Allen, I left Susan's quarters.
I stood in the center of the busy corridor outside Susan's door, my mind wide open. The vibrant thunder of mental activity roared through me and I let it flow unimpeded. Once I found my balance, I started walking, letting it draw me towards anything that reminded me of Susan. A color here, a texture there, a voice, anything, no matter how faint. I must have looked like I was in a trace to people jostling by, but I ignored them and barely registered Garibaldi's retreating voice calling my name.
It was a struggle to maintain my balance between the psi energy I was putting out and the whirlwind of sensation that was pouring in. But with a light touch, I found that I could guide it even if I couldn't completely control it. The uncertain equilibrium that I achieved helped my vision too, the psi vibrancy didn't diminish, but I could see through it.
It was no surprise to me that I ended up in bay 15. I was tiring by then, but I pushed that and the dull ache behind my eyes to one side. Following a sudden impulse, I went through an inconspicuous side door out of the bay and into a series of interconnected berths for cargo ships. Little more than a long dimly lit tunnel, it was punctuated at regular intervals by pools of light next to each ship. The air smelled of metal and oil and was loud with the sound machinery. I slowly walked to the far end without noticing anything. Then I turned and stood for a while, looking back and idly watching small handfuls of dockers working their ships.
Gradually my attention was drawn to the second ship from this end that had no activity around it, even though it was lit and its main cargo hatch appeared to be open. My psi senses told me nothing in particular from where I was, so I walked down to the berth.
I stood in the entry way and extended my senses, but there were too many compartments and bulkheads blocking any signals, so I cautiously entered. After waiting a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dimmer light, I could see that there was a long corridor to my left. At alternating intervals along the deck there were faint lights at the bottom edge of the bulkheads, just enough to see where to put your feet. The corridor appeared to be broken up into shorter compartments with open doors between each.
After I passed through the first door and was halfway to the second, a bay opened up on the right. I paused to look through the opening, and while I knew that there must be a floor to it, the absolute darkness gave me such a sense of vertigo that I had to grab the edge of the opening. The air was colder in there, and something about the way my footsteps echoed made me think that it was large and empty. There was a similar bay on the left just past the second door, but I didn't pause.
I had passed the third door and was approaching the fourth when something hard connected with my head and the already dim light went completely black.
I could hear muffled and unintelligible voices when I awoke, but didn't seem able to move. After lying still for several minutes while the throbbing in my head abated, I found that I could shift my arms slightly. Gingerly I explored my surroundings. There was enough light to differentiate complete darkness, but not enough to really see by. By feel however, it seemed that I was lying on the floor pinned between several stacks of the small duraplast shipping boxes that were used for personal items and smaller merchandise. I lifted my head, pushing the resulting pain aside, and decided to try backing out feet first.
I didn't get far before coming up against a hard surface. I managed to squirm around and finally get up on my feet, but had to brace myself for a moment until my head stopped swimming. It seemed to be the wall of the cargo hold, so I felt my way cautiously back the way I had come. It did not take long to reach the end of the row where it seemed to open up. I stepped cautiously out in the same direction that I had been heading, counting my steps, to see if there was another wall, but it was only emptiness. I backed up the same number of steps to find my previous spot, alarmed when I thought I had missed it. I flung both hands out trying to find the boxes and didn't feel anything. I took one more step back then another until I bumped into them, relieved when I realized that I had just been backing at a different angle.
I paused for a while, trying to tell which direction the voices were coming from. The echoes indicated a cavernous space and made it difficult to decide. Presently however it seemed that going right was the best option, so feeling my way along the stacks of boxes I started off.
It did not take long before my choice was rewarded by an increase in light levels and I could see the shadowy bulk of more stacks of boxes and other containers. As I got closer, I could put the echoes in their proper directions and they resolved into a single voice. I slowed my pace and crept forward cautiously.
As the light got brighter I could see that there was a series of honeycombed buttresses along the wall to my right standing out like ribs, and that the gaps between were filled with rows of boxes and variously sized containers. As I approached what appeared to be the far end of the hold, I could finally see the movement of a person as they paced back and forth in the small space behind the final buttress.
I wanted to get close without revealing myself, so I wedged myself among the crates next to the buttress so that I could see through one of its hexagonal openings. My view was at an angle, so the opening was narrowed, but I could tell immediately that it was the person who had been following me in the bazaar... and that it was Ilda Kane.
"Don't you see," she was saying, "it's about law and order."
"No it isn't," came the immediate rebuttal. I almost collapsed with relief at hearing Susan's voice. The conversation appeared to have been going on for a while and her tone was filled with contempt. "It's about power and control."
Kane stopped pacing. She was carrying the PPG that I had seen in Vasily's memory and I was afraid that she would do something to Susan in anger, but for the moment she seemed to be controlling her hatred and only radiated frustration. "The ends justify it," she snapped. "Don't you want to help your own kind?"
"The ends never justify it. And in helping other sentients, I am helping my own kind." I could tell that Susan was tiring of the conversation, but I couldn't tell if that was physical exhaustion, or whether they'd gone over this before. She snorted derisively. "I'll never understand what Malcolm saw in you guys."
That really set Kane off. "He was loyal to Earth!" Her voice was hoarse now, practically screaming. "You used him, and then you betrayed him." She waved the gun in Susan's direction. "You never loved him," she accused.
"But you did." Susan's voice was quiet. I sensed grief under the anger coming from Kane and agreed with Susan's interpretation, surprised at her degree of insight.
"Yes. And you destroyed everything. They didn't take his failure well; it was too important a mission. And they..." Her voice choked, and I thought for a moment that Kane was going to break down completely.
Susan's voice was surprisingly gentle. "They... punished him?"
"Worse." With a final gulp, Kane got herself back under control. "They executed him. They thought his previous involvement with you meant that he was working with you to set them up."
"Who's 'they' and what do they want with me?"
"You'll find out who they are soon enough. I'm supposed to try and convince you to come over to our side. A high ranking officer like you would encourage some people in EarthGov to listen." Kane added with menacing emphasis, "So you're going back to Earth, and one way or another you will be made an example of. Only you can decide whether that example leaves you alive or not."
I couldn't tell Susan's response to the threat, but Kane started her pacing again and didn't say anything else. I struggled to inch around to where I could see Susan, I needed line of sight if I was going to tell her that I was here. The crate in my way was too heavy to shift, so I had to cram myself into an even smaller space. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but was panting with effort when I finally succeeded in getting just far enough over that I could see her profile. I noted with relief that she seemed none the worse for wear, although she was holding herself stiffly.
Gently so as not to startle her, I reached out to touch her mind. At first she instinctively blocked me, a stronger block than I thought she was capable of, but on the second try she must have realized it was me and let me in. Although I could feel her surprise and relief, she made no outward indication that might give my presence away. From this angle I couldn't see Kane well enough to reach into her mind, so I projected to Susan an image of where I needed Kane to be.
I expected some response, but Susan chose action instead. She pushed me immediately out of her mind and stood up, drawing Kane's attention. Kane swung around with a snarl of vicious pleasure, stepped towards Susan and raised her gun. "Good. Dead it is then."
I watched in half shock and half fascination as Susan grabbed the barrel of the gun with her left hand and Kane's wrist just behind the gun with her right. She swiveled to the left with her elbows locked, holding the gun away from her and pulling Kane off balance while at the same time delivering a rapid series of kicks to both of Kane's knees, forcing Kane to widen her stance, further unbalancing herself. In only a matter of seconds, Susan had Kane face down on the floor and had twisted the gun out of her hand. Susan hadn't made a sound the whole time, and didn't reply to the steady stream of profanity coming from Kane.
I belatedly remembered my role. I reached into Kane's mind before she could struggle out of Susan's hold and knocked her unconscious, then immediately scrambled out of my hiding place. I practically skidded around the end of the buttress to find Susan leaning against it, eyes closed.
At my voice, Susan opened her eyes and came at me with the same inexorable flowing motion that had taken Kane down. The burning intensity of her eyes locked with mine and she cupped the sides of my face with both hands, then pulled my mouth to hers. She devoured me with that kiss.
I returned the favor. Lightning crackled along every nerve in my body and I lost myself for a while.
But every good thing must end eventually, if only due to the necessity of oxygen. Susan finally broke the kiss and leaned her forehead against mine, breathing as if she'd just run a race. Before I could speak or react she was in my mind. God, you don't know how long I've wanted to do that.
Probably about as long as I've wanted you to. I wrapped her mind in a mental hug and allowed my arms to slide around her at the same time.
Her warmth and gratitude flooded into me. Thank you. I wasn't sure if even you would be able to find me.
Are you all right? You didn't hurt yourself did you? I projected my concern.
The intensity of mental contact was suddenly too much for her, so Susan dropped out of my mind and tried to step back. "I'm all right," she said aloud.
I released her mind, but not her body. "It looked like you took her down pretty easily, why didn't you do that earlier?"
"I wasn't sure if I could." She unconsciously made a move to protect her middle. "And I didn't have backup if I couldn't."
I observed her reactions carefully. "Are you sure you're not hurt?"
After a brief hesitation she reluctantly admitted, "Kane caught me by surprise in my quarters, and I think my ribs might be cracked again."
I sighed. "Then it's back to Medlab for you. And this time I'm not helping you escape."
"That was your idea, if I remember correctly." She snorted. "And I do."
I didn't respond to that, as just then Garibaldi's distant voice could be heard. "Ah, here comes the trash collector." I turned to call him and winced at the flash of pain through my head at the effort to raise my voice. I had forgotten getting knocked out.
Susan reached out and gently probed the knot on the side of my head, then tipped my chin up to look at my eyes. "Not enough light to examine your pupils properly, but you should be checked out too."
Garibaldi ran up, breathing hard. He saw the inert body on the floor and called behind him. "Zack! Hurry up." Then he turned to me with a frown. "I have a few things to say to you about disappearing like that."
"She saved my ass, Garibaldi," Susan said sharply. "Cut her a little slack."
"No," Garibaldi shot back. "Nor you either." We were spared any further lecture when Allen and a couple subordinates ran up and started examining the area. I glanced around curiously; I hadn't paid any attention before. Smaller stacks of boxes had been arranged to carve out what looked like a living space around a small cot, but disguised enough that if someone didn't come all the way to the very end of the cargo hold, it would have never been seen. This must have been her headquarters and hideout. No wonder she had seemed to disappear so completely.
My attention was drawn abruptly back to Susan when she swayed a little in place. Her last burst of adrenaline had ended and lines of exhaustion showed on her face. I slipped an arm around her waist in support and she gave me a quick glance of gratitude. We turned away in unspoken agreement and left Garibaldi and his men to collect Kane and any evidence they could find.
I didn't care anything more about Kane at this point and dismissed her from my mind. All I could think of now was Susan's telepathy, which was definitely no longer a secret. Our path back took us close to her quarters, so I said, "Can we stop by your place for a minute?"
"Sure," Susan amiably agreed.
Once inside, I started before I lost my nerve. "Susan, about your abili..."
Susan placed her fingers lightly over my mouth. "You don't have to say a thing." Releasing my lips, she moved towards the kitchen. "I'm the one," she stopped briefly. "That is..." she stopped again and I could sense her internal struggle to express something difficult. I followed her into the kitchen and she turned to give me a troubled look. I didn't want to interrupt, so I just raised an eyebrow to indicate that she should continue.
Susan sighed and gave up on what she was trying to say and tried something else. "I remember what you did, you know." She quirked half a smile at me. "All of my memories after the explosion while I was delirious are intact; it just took me a while to sort them into the proper order."
"You actually remember everything?" I was surprised. For most people, the details of a traumatic incident like that become indistinct very quickly as the mind copes with the event.
"Oh yes." Susan looked up to meet my eyes. "You kept me alive." She paused, but didn't break eye contact. "My family was calling me – and I would have gone to them if you hadn't been there in my mind with me."
If I was surprised before, I was utterly shocked now. I couldn't say anything to that. My first instinct was to be afraid of what she might do. But no, I reminded myself, she had just entered my mind again in that cargo hold. I need to stop underestimating her.
Susan must have read something of my thoughts in my face because she chuckled. "No, I'm not mad about it... How could I be, when I reached out and touched your mind first?" She outright laughed at my expression now. "Talia, it's ok. I trust you." She became serious again, though a hint of smile remained. "And do you know why?"
I found my voice at last. "No, why?"
"Because when you were in my mind, I was also in yours." Her eyes held a hint of affection now, and I couldn't have looked away from them if I tried. "And I discovered that you're as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside." She reached out and took my hand. "Thank you for saving me. Twice."
I looked down at our joined hands and let go of the last little bit of remaining tension, my shoulders relaxing in relief. She squeezed my hand again. "Were you really that afraid of my reaction?"
I hesitated, then nodded minutely.
She seemed to accept that, though not without some pain of her own. "It's not like I ever gave you any reason to believe otherwise, I know."
I sensed her gathering herself as if to touch my mind again, but a sharp pang of guilt overrode the effort, and she dropped my hand abruptly and turned away.
I followed her. "Susan, it's all right, really."
"No, it's not all right." She turned back to me, once again under tight control. "I just want you to know that I regret every harsh word, every time I pushed you away, and every time I hurt your feelings. I'd take it all back if I could." She swallowed hard. "You never deserved any of it. I just couldn't see beyond what you symbolized to who you really are." She smiled wistfully. "I'd like to start over, if you'll let me."
My eyes filled with tears and I nodded.
She held a hand out to me and said, "Hello, I'm Susan." I gave her my hand, but instead of shaking it, she raised my fingers to her lips and gently kissed them. "And I'd like to be your friend."
A tear fell. I slipped my arms around her and gently pinned her against the counter with my body. Electricity sparked through my every nerve just as before. "I'm Talia." I kissed her fiercely, slipped into her mind and projected all my pent up desires. And I'm already yours.
~Finis~
