My Soul Divided
A Teen Titan story
I stared at the mirror. What had I become, who was that person in the mirror? Wild eyes and disheveled hair, pale and pathetic looking... "What are you?" I knew what I was; I was a demon, if only half. I didn't deserve the care the others showed me, and why would I? Tears welled up and threatened to spill over. If only I could just die, this world would be better off if I was gone.
"But why should we die? Beast Boy was alright, no lasting harm…Just a bruised ego. Maybe you should let us out, give over to us so that you can feel better?"
I shook my head. "No, I cannot let you free just. Just let me be!" Black energy swirled around my thin body. This was getting out of control...I couldn't keep this up for much longer. Everything I had worked for... I couldn't keep going until I killed someone..."But we wouldn't kill him!" I growled. I wouldn't want to do so.
"We would however...I would kill him and then I would want to die even more than I do now."
I shivered imaging his dead body laid out on the floor. I felt the tears finally fall, I couldn't deal with the death of the one person I cared about above any other. I couldn't kill him, and if I did I would die inside and then kill whoever was near me. More than likely my other friends."Raven?"I gasped and turned to the door, he couldn't come in! I placed my powers against the edges of the door. The darkness most likely seeped through as Beast Boy gasped; "Raven what's going on? "How could I answer that? "Nothing, go away." I heard a growl from the other side. "Nothing? Then why are you blocking the door? "I shivered at the anger in his voice. Why was he here? Why did he bother to show up after I hurt him? "Leave me alone." Something hit my door, startling me into a yelp that I couldn't control. "I can't do that Raven. Not after what just happened!" I closed my eyes and remembered the pain I must have brought on. I struck him, hard with my powers and told him he was stupid. Why had I done that? He had just been joking as he always did...Why had it hurt me so much? He could be with whomever he wanted to be with. That shouldn't bother me...But it had, but why had it. I could go in circles for hours with this thought pattern. "I am sorry that I called you stupid, but do not ever touch me again." He sighed;
"Raven...I didn't mean. I'm sorry I was stupid..." I heard him leave my door. What had just happened? Why had he given up like that? "Maybe he's weak, how could you love something so weak?" I gasped as anger talked...love? Did I love him? "He's not weak..." I released the door, and turned to my mirror once more. I gulped, how was this going to affect him? Could I just 'kick the bucket' as the phrase went and leave them, him? How would they feel? Would they think it was their fault? Could they hate me for it? I closed my eyes again, summoning the knife I had been given by the monks years ago just in case the demon took over... I held it firmly and pointed it to my chest. It was time to stop hurting those that I cared about. I plunged the knife downwards.
"NOOOOO!" I was knocked to the ground, the knife ripped from my hands. Opening my eyes I noticed how close Beast Boy was. How had he gotten in my room without my knowledge? Hadn't he left the hall way? I felt something drip onto my face; I touched the wetness on my face and looked at my fingers, blood? Where had it come from? I looked at him, I gasped as I noticed the quivering knife embedded into his side, blood dribbling from his mouth.
"Can't let you do that Raven. Heh. Your worth everything in the world...I can't let you die until you live for once."
He gentle pressed his lips to mine, before collapsing. I rolled him off of me and pulled the knife. I had to heal him! He had risked his life for me; I had to pay him back.
I opened my eyes and gasped aloud. Oh my god! How had... A dream? But it had felt so real. A confession of sorts from my emotions to me... I would be nothing without the team...without Beast Boy... He may have acted silly, but he had always been there for me. I would be forever divided, but my love for him would never be. All my sides agreed we would never be divided in our love for him and him alone.