ZelGan oneshot: "Do you think me less... attractive... than the boy, Princess?"
Zelda looked up from her papers, seeming a bit startled by the question. She looked at Ganondorf carefully for a long moment before tapping her empty pen nib on the table a few times and putting it back in the ink bottle.
"Why do you refuse to say his name?" she asked, her voice pleasant. It was the Gerudo's turn to pause, his jaw working a bit as he tried to come up with an answer to placate her. They'd had this conversation several times before, and it always ended with a frustrated Princess Zelda he hated to deal with.
"Zelda," he began slowly, "you know our history together… over the ages." She picked up her papers and stacked them up. Ganondorf licked his lips before continuing. "Would you so easily speak the name of your assassin without disdain? I know you like him, and so I keep his name out of my mouth." He sighed internally at the sight of her facial expression, knowing what came next. He always gave the same argument, and she always had the same answer.
"That is a foolish reason. Your refusal to speak his name seems to me more aggravating than to say his name with the hatred of a grudge. Besides, this is not the same Hero that has destroyed you in the past. He bears his name and appearance, and perhaps his personality, but he is not the same aggressor."
She stood up from behind the desk and walked over, coming up to stand in front of Ganondorf's chair. She extended her hand. "You know this. He would never attack you."
Ganondorf growled and stood up, pushing her to the side. "I am not concerned about being attacked."
"Why then? Why can you not let go of your anger?" She followed him, determined to get a satisfactory answer. She was tired of never having her best friend and her lover in the same room at the same time.
The king whirled, his face drawn in frustration. "You still have not answered my first question, Princess." Zelda's nose wrinkled with distaste. She shot him a withering glance before turning around and going back to her papers.
"It is an unfair comparison, Ganondorf." She spoke without turning around. "You both have a distinct type of handsomeness and appeal." She gathered them up again, straightening them out once more before laying them atop a ribbon. "Link bears the typical Hyrulian standard of an attractive appearance. In comparison, you have a very foreign appearance, an exotic appeal that very few have and fewer appreciate. You are exciting."
"'Exciting,'" he echoed flatly. "So you find me attractive for the fact that I can sate your inner rebel."
She frowned for a moment before nodding. "In part, yes. I will not lie to you—I enjoy the looks we get when you dance with me. No one seems to comprehend that a Gerudo, too, can be civilized in our ways." She tied the ribbon neatly, shaping a bow and smoothing out the tails before continuing. "But that is not the only reason that I chose you over Link, Ganondorf." He grunted skeptically, folding his arms across his chest as she picked up her bundle.
"Really? Do tell." She scowled at him as she walked toward the door, taking her time to formulate words.
"You do not fit the description of what I was raised to believe a good man should be. In fact, you are most likely the furthest departure from this standard that has ever been permitted to stay in the castle. Yet you are easily one of the best men for me I have ever been acquainted with." She paused at the door and looked back at him. "Would you open the door, already?"
Ganondorf smirked despite himself as he moved forward to do so. The princess stayed silent until they were on their way down the hall.
"You are very different from the men I live around and associate myself with. Whereas they are noblemen convinced of women as a lower species or common men who treat me as a precious heirloom, they are distant and hesitant. You, on the other hand, are not. You are quite brash, and self-confident to the point of an excruciating arrogance. You are aggressive in your ways, but more than anything, you respect me and my person more than almost any other I have ever known." She paused for a moment. "You do not fear to break rules and customs with reckless abandon, and you refuse to allow yourself to be cloistered behind formality and protocol. You have pride, and you do not treat me as if I were fragile spun glass."
She slowed her walk until she came to a stop, turning her body slightly to look over her shoulder at the massive Gerudo behind her. He looked at her impassively, his usual half-scowl concealing any of his true emotions. Zelda, too, had such a mask, though she tried to save it for diplomatic situations rather than when it was just the two of them. It was disorienting, she thought, to not be able to read someone's thoughts from their face.
"Though it is far from unappealing, it is not your appearance that draws me to you."
Both of them were quiet for a long moment, staring each other down. Ganondorf spoke first.
"I am glad that you like me, Princess." He stepped closer, fitting his hands around her waist. She was so slender and small compared to him, his fingertips met at the small of her back. He used his grip to press her against the wall behind her, hoisting her a few inches in the air. His face came near hers, not quite touching. "But you still haven't answered my question."
She smiled coyly. "I didn't?" She batted her eyelashes, just the picture of innocence. Ganondorf's scowl broke for just a moment.
"No, you didn't," he rumbled, returning her smile with one of his rare ones.
"Perhaps if you released me, I might tell you."
"Mmm, yes… but I prefer this." Ganondorf gently pressed his lips against hers, and Zelda returned the kiss. It was a long, slow kiss, but a chaste one, and when Ganondorf pulled away with a smirk on his face, Zelda seemed a little stunned. It was daring to have such a display of affection in an open hall like this one. Far too many of the noblemen on the council would be revolted by it.
"Ganondorf…" she breathed. He raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, Princess?"
"You are infinitely more attractive than the boy."