Hello people! It's me, Chaos, and I'm here with a new fanfic! This time, it's based off of Legend of Zelda Wind Waker! I've been playing it a lot lately and I thought it would be cool to write something for Wind Waker! Anyway I hope you enjoy this! :3
Link's misadventures in Wind Waker
It was a normal in the great sea for our hyrule hero, Link. He was just wandering around Windfall Island doing absolutely random and unnecessary things around the Island. The King of red lions was starting to get annoyed of Link's constant messing around and desperately wanted him to do something productive.
"Link, we have a princess to save," The king of red lions said to our, rather aloof, hero, "We don't have time for this nonsense!"
Link looked deeply offended.
"This is not nonsense," He stated, "I was just about to use the song of passing to change it to night time and steal from that Eskimo guy's shop"
"How on earth is that even remotely productive?"
"It's not. I need more money to have tingle translate those triforce charts for me. He charges A LOT of rupees for that!"
"We're not supposed to know that," The king of red lions said, "You just broke the fourth wall by unintentionally revealing something that has yet to appear in this game"
Link only stared at him.
"Oh, shitake mushrooms. I just broke the fourth wall by saying that we're in a game!" The king of red lions said
"Shitake mushrooms?" Link laughed
"The author wanted to avoid cuss words," He sighed, "That was the only thing she could think of without saying the S word"
Link only stared at him.
"Can I go rob his shop now? I need more money," Link said, "I was going to frame Mila anyway. It's not like I can just collect rupees from pots or grass at all"
The king of red lions groaned.
"Link, you can. Every Legend of Zelda game has that mechanic in it" He stated
"Well, maybe I don't like Mila. Maybe, I want her to get fired from that shop and kicked off this island" Link responded
"That's harsh, Link"
"Whatever, now what on earth is there to do?"
The king of red lions groaned again.
"You have treasure chart twenty six," He stated, "Go find it. I heard it's important"
"I don't see why the treasure its so important. It's usually rupees and I also heard that one of them contains a green rupee"
"It's the octo chart, Link. It reveals the location of the six octos. It saves us from accidently encountering them on the way to our location"
"I can handle an octo! I am Link the hero of winds. The ultimate fighter and savior of the entire world"
(5 minutes later, on the way to the location of the treasure of treasure chart twenty six)
Link screamed as he circled around in a whirlpool, surrounding a big octo. The king of red lions only sighed.
"I told you that we should of taken an alternate path to the island! This is exactly why we need the octo chart!" He scolded Link
"Stop scolding me! I'm trying to figure out how to stop this thing!" Link screamed at him
"No, you're screaming like a little girl"
"Shut up"
The king of red lions looked annoyed.
"Why don't you just use the bombs, bow and arrow or boomerang?" He asked annoyed
"I can do that? Why wasn't I told about this?" Link said surprised
"I did! Seventy-five times to be exact!"
"Oh"
Link went silent as he got out his bombs and started shooting rapidly at the octo. He missed almost every single shot that he fired and was literally left with one bomb.
"I got to make this shot count," Link said, "He only has one eye left and he's dead"
"I don't think you can do this," The king of red lions said, "you're aim is truly awful"
"Why don't you aim it?"
"I can't, I literally have no arms. In case you haven't noticed, I'm a boat"
Link gulped and carefully aimed the bomb at it's single remaining eye. Link, with a look of confidence, was extremely in focus of the single eye. The king of red lions ,on the other hand, was convinced that his aim was going to be way off. The bomb went off and flew over the octo's head. Link's jaw dropped in shock at the misfired shot. The king of red lions wasn't surprised at all. All of a sudden, a random bomb dropped from out of nowhere and hit it's remaining eye. The pair looked shocked at one another.
A bomb ship appeared from out of nowhere next to them. The pair screamed out in surprise.
"Who the hell are you?" Link screamed
"I'm Bob, the bomb ship. I saw you were having some trouble and showed up to help you" The ship said
"You're a talking bomb ship?" The king of red lions asked
"Well, you're a talking boat. What? I can't be allowed to talk! By the way, have some bombs"
"How did you know we were out of bombs?"
"I saw how horrible Link's aim was"
"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?" Link screamed
"Oops, look at the time! I've got to go! Bye!" The ship disappeared in a puff of smoke
The pair just stared at one another.
"What the heck just happened?" Link asked the king of red lions
"I have no idea, but I think you have a stalker ship"
"He didn't even give us any bombs!"
They heard a sound from the distance and looked up.
"This isn't going to end well, is it?" Link asked
"No crap, Sherlock!" The king of red lions screamed in his face
The pair looked up and screamed.
(About an hour later, at Windfall)
"That was the worst experience ever!" Link screamed
"I know right? That was truly awful" The king of red lions said
"It was, literally, raining bombs. How is that even possible?"
"No one knows, Link"
Everything went silent.
"I just realized something" Link said
"Yes?" The king of red lions asked
"We didn't get the octo chart!"
"Ah, screw it. I don't want to risk getting murdered by an octo just for one chart"
Everything, once again, went silent.
"Sooo. What do we do now?" Link asked
"I don't know," The king of red lions said, "Want to go take our anger out on some enemies that clearly don't deserve to be tortured to death. Like in the savage labyrinth?"
"I don't think so. Last time I went in there, I screamed at a frequency ten times higher than a male's scream is supposed to be"
"That's not's something to be ashamed of, Link"
"People kept mistaking me for a heterosexual! I'm clearly a male, but they think I sound and scream like a girl! I do not sound like a girl"
"Your scream isn't that high, Link"
"Do you happen to remember what happened in six eye reef? I was blindly shooting bombs all over the island trying to destroy the bomb ships and cannons. And that was all while screaming at the frequency of girl with a really high pitched scream. I even literally destroyed the entire island with my supply of ninety-nine bombs!"
The king of red lions went silent.
"Oh, never mind than. You do scream like a little girl, on helium" He said
Link, angrily, got out of the boat and walked off in a different direction. The king of red lions stared at the path he walked down before looking down at the ocean and sighing.
"Well, of least it's quiet now" He said
"Attention to the boat that looks like a demented combination of a lion and boat!" Someone screamed
The boat ignored the yell and continued to stare into the water. All the citizens, stared at the boat.
"Yo! King of red lions! Pay attention to me!" The same someone screamed again
The king of red lions ignored it again. The citazens had enough of the yelling.
"Dude, listen to your friend!" They all screamed in unison.
The king of red lions sighed and looked up. His jaw, literally, dropped when he saw Link standing at the top of the windmill.
"Link, get down here right now!" He screamed
"No, I have something to say!" He screamed
The king of red lions only sighed.
"I am absolutely sick of being killed by random enemies! I am sick of being disrespected by people, because of my gay looking green tunic that my grandma insisted would be an excellent birthday gift. I will end this game right now! I will jump off this windmill to the ground and waste all my recovery hearts and end this game forever!" Link ranted
"Link, this is a video game! Jumping from the windmill will only result in you getting a game over. You will just appear right back on this island afterwards" The king of red lions said
"All lies! I am the hero of winds and I declare that I will jump from here. I will end this forever!"
"If you're the hero of winds, wouldn't that mean that you would just respawn at the starting point of this island? You are the hero after all" Mila yelled up to him
Link thought about it for a second.
"Dang it, Mila! I will murder you!" He yelled unsheathing his sword
All of a sudden, he started to lose his balance. The crowd of people watching him stared as he toppled back and forth on the top of the tower. Eventually, Link fell backwards and a huge splash was heard from a distance. The crowd remained silent until they heard Link's screams.
"Help! I'm drowning!" Link screamed
Everyone stared at one another.
"Who cares?" One citizen asked
"We don't!" Everyone else screamed
"He'll respond anyway. He is the hero after all" The king of red lions said
Everyone else was silent for a bit. They all went back to their lives like Link wasn't in any danger at all.
"Oh, come on! I am literally drowning here! Do you know how long of a swimming distance it is from here to the king of red lions? Clearly you don't! Now help me!" He screamed
No one said anything and ignored him.
"No one is listening to me," He said, "I'm doo….."
Game over! :D
That was a bit on the random side, but yay! I hope you all enjoyed that. I love wind waker with a passion and actually considered doing a spoof for it before, but never really did it. Well, I'll stop wasting your lives and end this already. Especially since it's like eleven o'clock where I am and I really want to get some sleep. Anyway, read and review. See ya later people! J