"Maxwell! I refuse to participate in that!" CC stated quite annoyed by the proposition.
"Oh, come on, CC! Everybody in this family will help out! Even Fran that's 18 weeks pregnant. You're always insisting on how you're also part of this family!" Max added. CC grunted. She was perfectly aware of how many times he liked to play that card to her. While she was no longer interested in getting involved nor married to Maxwell because she came to realize he'd never challenge her intellectually the way she wanted a man to do so, she liked to agree with that particular card because she knew that at the end he was right. They were her family after all since her own family never really paid attention to what she did with her life. Yet, she would never admit to anyone that while she pretended to forget the children's names, she enjoyed the times she spent with Maggie, Brighton, and Grace. In a way, they reminded her of Sara; Maggie looked exactly like her, Brighton was sensitive as her, and Gracie was smart, intelligent and quite the observer as her. The real reason she usually made it look as if she disliked Max's children was because it hurt her so bad because they reminded her very much of Sara. Indeed, Sara was perhaps the only true friend of CC that liked her for who she was. Sara understood CC in ways not other people did. CC wasn't as insensitive as she pretended to be, and Sara knew it. So, naturally, missing Sara was something that affected CC, but she was never going to openly admit it as she didn't want to appear soft and vulnerable to others.
"Fine. But just because I had to cancel my Spa appointment this afternoon and I have nothing else to do, not because I owe him anything." CC said.
"All right then! It's settled. We're all helping Niles paint his new room." Max said as CC rolled her eyes. CC not wanting to be with Maxwell anymore was not only because she found him boring. Instead, it was also because somebody had caught her attention. She wasn't sure for how long Niles had caught her eye; perhaps all the time. Yet, that was something she would never admit to anyone, not even to herself that easily.
Niles was excited he could finally move out of his old room into Fran's former room. It was bigger, more spacious, and definitely nicer. Yet, he felt pink was perhaps not his color, nor flowers his pattern, so he had asked Mr. Sheffield to change it. Max had insisted that the whole family would help, yet he hadn't mentioned his intentions of having CC help as well. The day had arrived, and Niles, Max, Fran, the children, and CC were ready to paint the room with navy blue paint. When Niles saw CC, he couldn't hide his surprise, and as he was about to zinger the blonde, CC said: "Oh, don't think big about you, Rubbermaid, I had to cancel my Spa appointment and I had nothing else to do."
Niles laughed, and said: "Oh, no it's not that. I just didn't imagine that when insisted on asking some old theater man to come and help as well he was referring to you!" CC glared at him. The zingers. Somehow CC hated and loved them at the same time. She smiled to herself when Niles couldn't see her.
The prime coat was ready, and this point luckily, no huge mess had taken place. The kids, Fran, and Max decided to take a 10 minute break leaving CC and Niles alone in the room. "Are you sure we should leave those two alone with all that paint?" Max asked Fran. "Relax! What's the worst they can do?" Fran said. "Well, for starters, repeat the events of Maggie's Sweet Sixteen?" Brighton added. "Kill each other to death by suffocation with paint?" Gracie said. All eyes turned to the smallest Sheffield. "Well, it is possible to die that way." Gracie added.
"Oh, I'm sure they won't kill each other! They are civilized adults. They will behave and nobody will die." Fran said but remained pensive. "Well, just in case we'll come back in some minutes. Maggie did you leave the bedroom door open?" Fran asked. "Yes, why?" Maggie asked. "Cause they can't die that fast if there's a little oxygen in the room, Sweety." Fran said.
Both Niles and CC were so lost in their own thoughts that they did not notice when the Sheffield family turned the 10 minutes break into almost an hour. Niles kept on thinking about the events of the recent weeks. He felt that it was perhaps time to admit he felt something for the blonde. It was obvious some type on conexion lingered between the two of them every time they were in the same room. Heck! They almost kissed in the kitchen when eating those chinese cookies. And what happened later that day in the stairway was magical. Then it came Hannukah. He could barely cope with the fact that he almost lost her. Niles wasn't sure if he had felt something for days, weeks, years, or perhaps from the first time he saw her. It was just there. Was it love? Perhaps. What was lingering there between them? All he knew is that time was passing by, and she needed to know how he felt. But could he tell her? Did she feel the same way?
CC and Niles turned at the same time to grab blue paint accidentally touching each other's hands. It felt so natural that none of them was letting go. CC was never going to admit that that contact felt so good. Perhaps it was time to let it happen. So much time had gone by, and while she just wasn't sure since when, she wanted to be with Niles. It was perhaps almost losing Niles to a heart attack, or maybe a near death experience in the cold winter that had made her realize something was starting to sprout inside her. But did he feel the same way? She quickly pulled her hands away. Niles did the same immediately.
With no further answer to their doubts, they kept on painting. The room suddenly began to grow a solid tension that was easily cut with a knife. It was going good despite the fact that both of them were trying to ignore the other human being in the room. But that was a ticking bomb, and it wasn't long when CC accidentally tripped over the paint tray falling directly on top of Niles. CC laid on top of Niles, and both of them stared at each other's eyes. For one minute it seemed as if the same thing was bothering both and they had finally encountered an answer. They were so close to each other, and still lying on the floor without moving. It seemed as they were about to kiss. The proximity was too much. And it started happening. Their lips got closer, and closer, and…
"Niles! We're back!" Fran's very nasal voice ran through the walls of the room. Both CC and Niles quickly broke the moment between them and stood up pretending as if nothing had happened.
"Hello, old man! Sorry we took so long. We honestly lost time of track." Max added.
"Hmm, did you?" Niles asked a bit lost. His mind was racing thinking about how he and CC had almost kissed.
"I know how it looks, Niles. But we really did lose track of time. You know how Dad can ramble up for hours about Andrew Lloyd Webber's new play." Little Gracie said.
"Oh, come on! That man!" Max said.
"We know." Brighton, Maggie and Fran said in an sarcastic and annoyed tone.
"Well, we're glad you two didn't kill each other during this time." Fran said as she grabbed several paintbrushes for her, Max, and the children.
It was a very fast job because the whole room was painted in less than 3 hours, and around 8:00 pm the room was ready for the furniture to be moved into. Max, Brighton, and Niles carried the heavier pieces like the bed, cupboard, the desk and chair, bookcase, sofas, and other heavier movables. Meanwhile, Fran, Maggie, Gracie, and CC remained in Niles former bedroom helping to move the smaller appliances. Because of her pregnancy, Fran was only giving directions as she was already growing a little tired from all the painting. While Gracie and Maggie were gathering the clothes, CC remained fixed on the guitar that was in he corner of the room. She didn't know Niles played the guitar, but she started thinking that it made sense since he was so talented with his voice, probably he could also do wonders with his fingers. Musically speaking, of course. CC blushed a little with that thought. She also came to realization that it was the first time she was in his room, and that was something she never saw coming. She blushed again, and laughed a little.
"Since when has Niles played the guitar?" CC asked to the Sheffield women.
"Since always, I think." Gracie said.
"Yeah, since I can remember." Maggie added.
"Really? How come I never knew? Did he play for you?" CC asked. She was really intrigued by it, and couldn't help but wonder how many other things she didn't know about Niles.
"Well, frankly, Miss Babcock, you're always making fun of him and spending the times you're together by insulting each other. I, on the other hand like to ask people questions to get to know them. Once, I asked my cousin M-"
"Yeah, yeah." CC interrupted Fran as she kept on thinking how much she'd love to listen to him play and sing. Love? Niles? No. CC grew pale. Was she falling in love with him?
The family finished moving everything into Niles' room around 11:00 pm as they took a break to eat chinese take-out around 9:00 pm. It was getting very late and dark, and the Sheffield family had long gone to bed by 11:30 pm. CC remained alone with Niles for the first time after the tray incident.
"Miss Babcock, about what almost happened…" Niles finally broke the silent. CC grew nervous. She wasn't sure she was ready to do it. It was a lot to take into, and that implied finally opening her heart to someone. She didn't say a word.
"Miss Babcock?" Niles insisted. He hesitated. Was this really the smartest thing to do? Pour his heart open? Admit he was falling for her? Yes.
"Miss Babcock. I can't pretend that what almost happened was nothing. I'm tired pretending that these last weeks have simply been nothing. And it probably feels the same way for you. I can't help it, you know. I am falling for you…" Niles didn't say another thing. Whatever CC said back it was better than doubt. He'd rather take the risk that remain perpetually in the "what if" wondering what might have been.
CC looked at Niles. She didn't answer. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something. But she didn't. Niles gazed into her eyes and saw fear, but he also saw hope.
CC knew Niles was right. But for the first time in a very long time, she wasn't sure what to do. She was afraid to admit that after all she was like any other human: vulnerable; she feared of how miraculous it was that Niles was falling for her. She never felt she was someone such a wonderful man could love. She felt incapable of being loved. And yet, there he was, proving the contrary. But she was still too afraid to hurt him. Why now? Why not before? Was he serious? So she remained silent.
Sometimes silence is too much.
"I'm sorry, I... it's really late and dark. Perhaps I should leave now… I need some time… I… excuse me." CC said as she ran out of the room. Her eyes were getting watery as she hated herself for being so coward and afraid of opening to love.
Niles perhaps subconsciously understood CC, and didn't push an answer. As if he knew he'd eventually receive it. But a part of him feared he'd never have it.
Niles had inside him this turmoil of emotions. On one hand he felt confused and sad of how CC reacted, but on the other hand he was relieved he no longer hid the reality. It was a bittersweet feeling of not having to wonder what might have been. Time went by, and he started realizing perhaps she was never going to return his feelings. Despite the fact she probably did, she'd never admit them. He was full of questions without answers. In times like this he would go to what always gave him an answer: music. He slowly reached for his guitar and started touching each chord; one by one. Music was his best companion when he felt he needed answers. Ironically, for Niles, music and Miss Babcock were very alike; to cherish the real beauty of music, you have to see it from the inside; you only need to trace the rhythm within it to realize how perfect it is; and finally, music, as CC, is pure and flawless for those who are in love with it.
Niles started strumming his guitar while he sat next to the window. The navy blue paint of the lightless room and the dark night, accentuated the moonlight that illuminated Niles and his guitar. It all lingered there. 'Sometimes you break your heart to set free' he thought.
Meanwhile, CC ran through the hall in an attempt to find an escape to her own problems. She was about to step outside when she realized she had forgotten her purse in Niles room, and as much as she could pick it up the next day, she needed her apartment keys that were inside it. She remained fixed in the dark night, and found the courage to go back.
As she slowly walked through the hall, she couldn't avoid listening to the melodies of a guitar. It was something so beautiful; something she'd never heard. As she got closer to Niles room, the music got louder. It was so beautiful that she couldn't avoid stopping to listen.
CC sat outside Niles room in a spot where she could see Niles playing. CC closed her eyes. Finally, the tender melodies from the guitar started to be accompanied with the gentle tone of his voice.
As she heard the first stanza of the song, CC couldn't help of thinking how before she went to 'The Place', there was a night that Niles found her smoking outside the door in the very cold winter. She could almost assure he had noticed she'd gain significant weight and her terrible sadness, but as much as he probably would have liked to throw zingers at her, instead he only went back inside the house and came back with a blanket. He wrapped it around her and left without saying a word. She turned her head back and practically called him by looking at him with almost watery eyes. He saw in those eyes a fragile CC, something he had never seen. Immediately he stepped outside and sat next to her. He still didn't say anything. He only placed his arm protectively around her and made her company. Yet, that silent spoke to her; he had the opportunity to kick her in her most vulnerable state, and instead he didn't. It was then she started realizing that perhaps he didn't despise her as much as he always said. And inside her, she felt she didn't loathe him that much either.
When she listen to the lyrics of the second stanza, she immediately remembered the drunken kiss in the den. They never spoke about it again; a part of her wished they did. CC then thought about Maxwell and Nanny Fine's wedding. Both of them, a little too much to drink, and her very sad self complaining about her solitude and how men never stayed. The only other companion she had there was Niles. It was there that for the first time he called her sexy and beautiful to her face. He told her how she had a lot to offer to men, and those who weren't capable of seeing what he saw were fools. And then it hit her. He saw in her what others didn't. She realized him falling for her wasn't just now, and it had been perhaps, always.
All these times she had thought Niles was getting soft, he was actually falling much more in love with her. And there she was, playing with his heart. While there were times she thought he was playing with her, or as he referred to 'his hobby', he was actually...flirting? Giving her his heart? It all made sense now. Niles could see in her what others couldn't; things that not even the same CC could see before. It wasn't just now, it was always. He had learned to cherish her for who she really was.
At last, she remembered how at the wedding of Max with her best friend Sara, she complained about how the men she dated were never the one, and how much she feared ending alone. And instead of mocking her for that, Niles told her that if they were both over forty and single, they'd get married. In that moment, she laughed at his proposition, and zingered him. She thought it was another joke of his, but know she understood he was being serious. He was willing to waste his life being her company despite loathing her. And that was it. He never loathed her. He had been falling in love with her, not now, not for weeks, or months, but perhaps years, maybe, from always. Funny it was how she had been falling in love with him all this time.
She got up from the floor and stood in the doorway of Niles room.
But I know she'll never want me,
"No. I do. I do want you, Niles." She ran to Niles as he stopped playing and singing when he heard her voice. He placed his guitar in its corner as CC pulled him in a hug.
"I'm sorry I ran out." CC said without letting the embrace finish. Niles returned it as he wrapped his arms around her.
"It's alright, Miss Babcock. You're here now." Niles said a bit coldly.
"I can't help it, Niles. I admit it. You drive me crazy!"
"Now Babcock did you really came all the way here to tell me something I already knew?" He zingered.
"Oh, stop it! You know what I mean. You drive me so mad that I can't help it! I am falling for you… perhaps I always had. I know we've had a very complex relationship for twenty years. I was completely blind to see it before, but I know see it so clear. It has always been you, Niles. You've been there next to me in my hardest moments. These past weeks have been a pain to me because every single step we gave it made us closer, and I always wanted more, but I was too coward and proud to admit it." CC said as she placed a kiss in Niles cheeks. "It's always been you. And I don't want to remain in 'what might have been'. I want you by my side."
Niles closed his eyes. He took a deep breathe.
"Miss Babcock. I'm sorry I didn't say it before." He slowly reached her face and cupped it. "But you know, sometimes it can be hard to see inside ourselves when you can't see a way out; it's the same with answers, we can't have them when the questions won't come out. Perhaps twenty years ago, ten, or even five years ago we wouldn't have been able to cherish it the way we do now. And we no longer have to wonder, because, I, Niles, also want you, CC Babcock, by my side."
And it happened. It finally happened.
Their lips got closer, and closer, and finally joined as one in a tender, sweet but passionate kiss. This time there were no interruptions.
"I love you."
"I love you, too."
They remained kissing; this time it lingered. Like their memories, their love lingered forever.
A/N and Disclaimer: The song Niles was playing is Passenger - "Catch in the dark." I do not have any rights and it is not public domain so in order to avoid copyright infringement, I cannot post the lyrics so please refer to the song to picture it out. I feel that it was a beautiful fit for this couple, so do please take the time to read the lyrics and listen to it. I know you will certainly enjoy it.
Please R&R. Thank you.