An: A random Itachi fic… I dunno… I got bored…

Disclaimer:: Nope… I don't own Itachi… or anything else Naruto

Note:: Major Itachi-oocness!!! Also, slight narusasu cuz I can barely write a story without it 3

000

Itachi woke up to the sound of birds chirping. He rolled over in his bed, not exactly wanting to get up. He rubbed his eyes a bit and slowly sat up in his bed.

It first got his attention when he pulled the covers off of his body. He gasped in horror at the site, trying his hardest not to scream like a little girl.

"NOOOOOO!!" he shouted, taking a closer look at his hands. "My left pointer finger's nail polish is chipped!" he shouted, quickly getting out of bed. "I'll have to repaint them all!!!"

Itachi walked swiftly over to his desk, examining the bottles of nail polish. They were lined up in rainbow order, starting with pink and moving to black. Itachi looked at his selections.

"Hmmm… I think I'm missing a shade of green," he mumbled as he scanned through the colors. "Which to choose," he moaned, picking up a light pink and a dark gray.

In the end, Itachi chose a dark gray background with pink polka dots. Very gay.

Itachi looked down at his pajamas. He growled angrily to himself when he noticed how wrinkly his pajama bottoms looked. They were a nice shade of lilac with blue stripes. He smiled contently as he took them off and folded them neatly at the base of his bed.

Itachi climbed into his way-too-tight-for-a-guy jeans, he smiled slightly and pulled a pink shirt over his head. Kohls, expect great things… yeah yeah… so maybe the sales lady looked at him funny when he asked where the woman's section was… but it's not his fault he lives in a fruity-gay world…

Itachi waltzed down the street, possibly going out for ramen, he stopped at Ichiraku's ramen stand.

"Hm… Can I have the Ramen Special please?" Itachi said, taking his makeup out of his bag.

"Is that a purse?" Ichiraku asked, glaring suspiciously at Itachi's bag.

"Of course not," Itachi said angrily, focusing on not crying or he'd ruin his perfect hot-pink eyeliner. "It's a nice man-bag"

"Hn," Ichiraku sighed, "I could have sworn I saw that in the ladies purses section of the mall when I was buying my wife a birthday gift," the old man mumbled, sighing to himself.

"It's not a purse!" Itachi screamed, almost letting the disgusting tears flow down his face. "It's a man-bag… really," he sobbed

Ichiraku shook his head and placed the bowl of Ramen in front of Itachi. The Uchiha ate a spoon full of Ramen. He licked his lips and sighed contently. "Ramen,"

Ichiraku sighed and rolled his eyes, walking into the back kitchens of his shop.

000

Itachi walked down the street, still licking his lips from the ramen. He noticed his younger brother and the blonde boy making out in the park. Itachi automatically walked over to them.

"Hello young puppies!!" He said gleefully, giving Sasuke a flower, "are you two having fun? And will I get to be an uncle soon?" he asked, giving Sasuke puppy-dog eyes. "Oh please say I can be an uncle!!"

Sasuke glared at his brother, knowing the older Uchiha had some very serious problems, "Go away, Itachi," he growled before pressing his lips to Naruto's once more.

"I'ma be an uncle!!!" Itachi shouted, skipping down the street. He received a funny look from a little old lady. He paused, smiling at her with bright white teeth. "Ima be an uncle to NARUSASU babies!!!" he shouted, shaking her hand happily.

The old lady fell over, her heart racing with fear. And then it stopped, her heart blew out from fear.

Itachi looked back at the old lady and shrugged, he was off to do better things anyway. "I'MA BE THE UNCLE TO NARUSASU BABIES!!!" he shouted loudly for all the world to hear.

Sasuke broke the kiss and turned to look back at his brother who was skipping joyfully through the park, "he's the strangest murderer…" Sasuke sighed.

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, wondering how the hell a fruity-gay guy like him could possibly be a murderer.

"He kills people with happiness…" Sasuke sighed, shaking his head, "Besides, it'd give anyone a heart attack to see a guy like that shouting random things like a five year old."

"True,"

000

An:: see… that was COMPLETELY pointless… yet I had to get that evil Itachi-gayness out of my system before I continued writing my other stories…