If I owned Batman, it would be all family fluff, all the time.
The still small, relatively new Justice League finally had their own little place to call their own. Nicknamed the Watchtower, it was currently only half built but the seven heroes of the Earth could see beyond that. Someday, this tower would be complete and their team would be legendary. But for now they were huddled in a cold corner of the half-finished Watchtower watching with obvious curiosity the strangest pair in their little club.
Of course once the Justice League officially became a team, the whole secret identity thing became a bit of a hindrance. How could they stand to trust each other to watch their backs if they didn't know their names? With a little grumbling on the parts of a few people, ok really only one person, masks were stripped and lives were laid bare. There were a few surprises there, who, after all, would suspect that the mighty Superman was really a mild mannered farm boy? But by far the biggest surprise was learning that their dear Dark Knight was none other than billionaire Bruce Wayne. Even more shocking to some was the fact that he was the adoptive father of an energetic eight year old.
So that was where they were now, watching as the scourge of Gotham's underworld debated back and forth with a boy a third his size yet still holding his own against the Caped Crusader. Apparently the Butler was on a very rare vacation leaving the vigilante with no choice but to bring his son with him to their weekly meeting. Green Lantern shook his head as little Dick Grayson bounced back and forth on his feet.
"I still can't believe Bats is a Daddy, I mean how does that even work? The guy reads his kid Goodnight Moon before going out and punching out people's teeth?" Superman shot the pilot an annoyed look.
"C'mon, give Bruce a little more credit. I think it's great that he took Dick in and he's doing a pretty good job. Besides, it's good for him to have some happiness in his life. They're just like any other family." Hawkgirl snorted.
"You mean aside from living in a big, fancy mansion and going out and fighting criminals at night dressed as a bat." She drawled sarcastically only to be hushed by the Flash.
"Guys shhh, I'm trying to listen." Diana pursed her lips as she glanced worriedly at the father and son pair.
"I don't know, we probably shouldn't be listening to this. This could be a private conversation after all." The Flash waved her off as he munched on some popcorn. Across the room, Dick Grayson stuck out his lower lip and gave his own version of the batglare. In full costume, Bruce stared back down at him with the unrelenting stubbornness of Batman. Neither of them appeared fazed or backed down in the slightest.
"60," Dick said putting his hands on his hips and balancing on the tips of his toes to gain a few inches. Batman scoffed at the suggestion.
"Not on your life, 10." Dick whined loudly at that and tapped his foot in agitation.
"I can't do anything with 10."
"I believe that was the point," his adoptive father replied with the barest hint of a smirk appearing on his normally stoic face.
"Oh my god," Green Lantern said stealing some of Flash's popcorn. "Is the kid seriously pumping his dad for money." Barry, too caught up in the domestic scene, didn't notice that his popcorn was being pilfered. "This is too good."
"Okay fine, I can make due with 50." Dick replied finally after a minute of staring into the white eye lenses of his guardian's mask. Batman tilted his head to the side at his precocious boy."
"And what would you do with 50 if I allowed it?" He asked while Dick huffed.
"I can do plenty with 50 thank you very much. I grew up the circus remember? I know how to handle myself." Batman hummed thoughtfully watching carefully as his enthusiastic kid just barely managed to keep himself still for the sake of his argument.
"Alright then, 20. We'll start with that and see how you do." Dick stepped forward to stand toe to toe with the Dark Knight, all three feet of him.
"45 and I promise I'll go to bed without making a fuss and not wake you before 6 am tomorrow." Batman raised an eyebrow as he folded his arms across his chest.
"25 and count yourself lucky I didn't leave you on Earth with a babysitter." Dick grinned wickedly, the effect only somewhat dimmed by the gap in his bottom teeth from when he lost a baby tooth a few weeks before.
"40 and I won't tell Alfred you gave me cold pizza for breakfast this morning," he lowered his lids, "or the fact that you didn't come home until dawn because you were too busy chasing after Catwoman." Batman immediately straightened as the threat was delivered and pretty soon the entire Justice League was leaning forward in stunned awe of verbal back and forth. Wonder Woman grabbed some popcorn as well followed soon after by Superman and Martian Manhunter leaving none left for the speedster but he didn't seem to notice. They were all now enamored with the family drama. After a tense few moments, Batman smirked for real this time.
"40 it is on the condition that you never mention that again. In addition, with that level of skill, I expect you go out for your school's debate team next fall." His serious face suddenly gone in the face of victory, Dick let out a whoop of joy and even did a little backflip on the floor.
"Thanks Bruce you're the best!" He proclaimed, jumping up to wrap his tiny arms around his adoptive father's neck for a brief moment before dropping down into a tumble before sprinting off into the darkness leaving nothing but his laughter behind.
The Justice League sat with wide, confused expressions. Green Lantern reached for the popcorn at the same time as the Flash only to discover it had all been eaten. While the Flash moaned in despair, Lantern shook his head.
"I don't get it, I didn't see any exchange of money but also we're in deep space? What's the little brat going to buy? Space rocks?" Finally turning towards them, the League shrunk in on themselves in shame expecting to face his wrath for their rather blatant eavesdropping. Instead, they got a wry smile.
"Who said anything about money?" A sudden giggle echoed through the space station and they all looked up to find the son of the Bat swinging freely from one of the rafters with a look of pure elation of his face. He then jumped upwards, letting go of the bar to grasp for another rafter just above it. Both Superman and Wonder Woman floated up a few feet in preparation to catch the boy who was swinging around as if gravity were merely optional. Batman stopped them with a wave of his hand.
"Be careful around the wiring Richard and so help me if you go above 40 feet I'm going to tie you down with weights. You have an hour before bedtime and try to keep the noise to a minimum." The only answer he received for his warnings were the sounds of his child's merriment as he cartwheeled over to the other side of the metal beam. Below him, the remaining adults were dazed.
"Circus kid huh?" Flash said with a small but genuine smile, thinking of his own happy nephew in Central as Dick continued to play in the upper areas of the station. The remaining Leaguers separated and went back to their work, occasionally looking up and finding themselves enjoying the sounds of little pitter pattering of feet on metal and hushed laughter. Green Lantern clicked his tongue as he and Superman began to attach metal sheeting to the walls.
"Jeez and to think for a moment there I almost believed that the two of them were normal people. I guess anyone who has Batman for a dad has got to be strange." Superman hummed as he glanced over Lantern's shoulder to watch Dick drop in and hang upside in front of Batman's computer and grin as his nose was flicked for his efforts. But Clark didn't need super vision to see the smile on Bruce's face or how quietly happy he was to have his boy up here with him. He made a mental note to tell him to bring Dick up more often; the kid did wonders to the team's morale.
"I don't know, I don't think there's anything more normal than a father and son playing with each other."
I don't even know where this came from, this exchange just popped into my head as I was taking a bath earlier this evening and I had to get it out. I have this thing where I just love Justice League interactions with Batman's tiny sons, especially a brand-new Justice League with a teeny, tiny Dick Grayson running around causing trouble. I find myself amused by the idea that Batman would have to set height limits for how high his energetic little acrobat can climb, bonus points for the League think Dickie is pumping an billionaire for money. Someday they'll understand.