My paper Heart

Prologue

The two most important events that changed my life happened when I was five years old. My mother was killed right in front of me. My father decided to move us away from the city and back to the suburbs where he was raised. We were to live in the same house he grew up in.

Since my mother passed away I did not speak a word for three years. My father hired a children psychiatrist with no avail.

"She might never talk again. What Sakura saw could scar her for life." One psychiatrist told him. My father knew it was true but he did not want to hear it. As far as he was concerned, I was going to start talking again, no matter what it took.

I had no friends. I never played outside like most kids my age did. I would stay in my room and draw pictures. I was home schooled by my father.

One day when I was 6 years old, I accidentally kicked my ball outside the door. Without a second thought, I quickly ran after it. I stopped when I saw a boy and his mother crossing the road. They were approaching our house. I stood still. I remembered my mother and the way she once held my hand as we crossed the road. To my surprise, I did not cry. I held my hand to my eyes and yet no tears. Maybe I had cried so much my eyes were out of tears, I thought still gazing blankly ahead.

I did not notice the woman crouching down to my level. She had beautiful amber eyes long brown hair. I blinked and she smiled at me.

"Hello."

I said nothing shifting my gaze to the little boy. He was trying to hide behind the woman.

"You must me Sakura, your father has told me a lot about you. About how much you love swimming and drawing."

I looked at her silent and still.

"Mom, can we go home now. She's weird. Why won't she talk?" A voice came from behind the woman.

She pulled the boy from behind her "Now Syaoran, be nice." She ran her hand over her face "Sakura, this is my son Syaoran. I'm sure you two will be very good friends." He was slightly shorter than I was. He the same features as those of his mother. Beautiful amber eyes, brown hair and tan skin.

The next thing I remember, Syaoran was in my room messing up my clothes. He was talkative and touched everything that meets his eyes. I could not understand half of the things he said. At one point he hit his head on purpose and giggled, "Has anyone ever told you that you're a great listener?"

I stood in the middle of the room. He climbed onto my bed and started bouncing on it. "I can't speak Japanese without mixing it with Chinese so I'm sorry if you can't understand me sometimes."

I slowly sat on the floor keeping my eyes fixed on him.

"Usually I don't like girls but you're pretty cool."

He stopped bouncing then ambled to me "You know what, I like you so much I want to marry you."

I made a face feeling a little sick in the stomach.

"But before we get married there is something cool I want to show you. Well Mom says girls and boys are different. I know why, do you?"

I turned my head then looked at him. I did not have to say anything but it was as if he could read my mind. He pulled down his trousers and I instantaneously screamed. I screamed even louder as he pulled his trousers up.

He panicked and covered his ears. My father and his mother came rushing in. I ran into my fathers arms and softly whispered in his ear "Dad."

He let me go then looked at me. I will never forget the tears in his eyes. He looked amazed.

"What did you say?" He asked after a long pause.

I was silent. He hugged me once more and whispered, "I must be dreaming."

"Syaoran, what did you do?" his mother asked with her hands on her waist.

"Nothing." He said faking an innocent voice.

My father slowly let me go setting his gaze on Syaoran. "Seriously what did you do?" he was trembling "She hasn't said a single word for years."

He looked at his mother who was not impressed then he looked at my father. Suddenly he smirked.

"Well I just showed her my willy. I didn't mean to scare her."

Everyone was now quiet. We were all looking at him as he tried to smile. Suddenly his mother grabbed his hand "Okay, you're grounded and we are going home."

"But Mum!"

His mother smiled at my father "Fudjitaka, I apologize for this. He's usually a good boy."

My father smiled back "No, I really appreciate it."

Her jaw slightly dropped. I do not think she understood how much it meant to my father. In fact, he was so happy he took me to Syaoran's house early the next day. He was late for work, seeing I was walking slowly, he carried me in his arms and knocked hard on the door. There was no answer for the first five minutes.

Finally, Yelan, as I later came to know her, opened the door. She had a robe on and her hair was disheveled.

"My goodness Fudjitaka, it's 6:30."

"Can I leave Sakura here for the day?"

She rubbed her eyes to look at me. I tightened the grip I had my around my fathers neck. "Why?"

"Well I know your son is not going to school since all the schools are closed for the summer and Sakura's babysitter called in. She can't come." My father lied through his teeth. "I think Syaoran is a great influence on Sakura."

She released a short laugh "Oh really?"

My father nodded putting me down.

"Alright, she can stay."

I spent the whole summer there. Sometimes my father would come home late. In spite of our awkward first encounter, I found something comforting about Syaoran. It was not too long before I spoke more than he did. He always said he would marry me because it was written in the stars. I don't think he really understood what he was saying. By the time, I was 12 my father finally decided to send me school. I was reluctant to go. Syaoran was the only person other than my father that I spoke to.

"Real school is much more fun. You get to meet all sorts of people." He told me a week before school started.

"But I don't want to meet new people. I'm happy with things as they are."

"You will be fine. I promise."

The first days of school were difficult. I had trouble making friends. Syaoran was a grade ahead of me so he was not there. Whenever recess came, I would hurry out of class and wait for him in front of his classroom. I was certain that his friends did not like me but it did not bother me. Syaoran wanted me around despite what his friends told him.

"You've got such beautiful skin. What do you use?" A girl asked me once in the girls' bathroom.

I smiled, I was not used to compliments from strangers "Well, I take a shower at least twice a day."

She laughed aloud "In other words you're naturally pretty."

I shook my head "No; I'm too skinny." I told her coyly.

"Here, that's a good thing."

I shook my head confused.

"You've got a models body. I bet you look good in anything. You would look awesome in my latest design. Do you wear make up?"

I shook my head.

"Even better!" she said clapping her hands.

"Uh..."

"You can come to my house on Saturday. By the way I'm Tomoyo." She took out a card from her handbag "Here are all my details."

After school, I told Syaoran all about it on our way home.

"So you're hanging out with an actual girl?" he asked being slightly overdramatic.

"Yeah, she is so cool."

That evening we went to the cinema. I managed to get Syaoran to watch Titanic. After the movie, I rushed to the bathroom. I felt like I had pied on myself. When I was finally in the toilet, my eyes nearly popped out and tears came streaming down my eyes. I took out my phone and sent Syaoran a text message asking him to come into the bathroom.

"Sakura?" I heard his voice.

There was no one else in the bathroom and I knew Syaoran would not mind coming into the women's bathroom.

"I think I'm dying." I cried.

"What….Why would you say that!" I could sense the panic in his voice.

"I'm bleeding."

I could hear his footsteps as he moved closer to the door. "Bleeding? Where?" he asked confused.

I sniffled "Uh…down there. It's all over."

To my surprise, he laughed. He would not stop. I frowned "Damn it Syaoran! I can't believe you, I don't know what's happening to me and you're not making things better. You're such a prick!"

"You're not dying." He said between giggles.

"Huh, how do you know? Has this ever happened to you?"

He laughed even harder "No! Thank goodness."

I frowned and started to cry once more. His laughter died.

"You're on your period."

"My what?"

"It's this monthly thing girls go through. It will be over in a couple of days."

I was still confused "Why girls?"

"Because you have babies and—I'm not sure. I have sisters; they say it's a real bitch. You mean to tell me that you really do not know what it is. Didn't your father tell you?"

"No." I muttered in a low tone.

"What should I do?"

"Uh….use the toilet paper then we can go to my house. My mom will know how to help."

"Okay."

The next day when I went to Tomoyo's house, she was in her room lying on her bed. "Are you alright?"

She smiled "Hi, sorry I couldn't answer the door. I got cramps. I started my period yesterday."

I sat on her bed excited "You have yours too?"

She nodded looking at me as if I was strange "I mean, of course you do. I also got mine yesterday."

"What time?"

I got up finally noticing how beautiful her room was "Around 9:30 at night"

"I got mine when I came home from school. That means I'm 7 hrs more mature than you are."

"Really?" I asked confused.

She nodded sure of herself. She sat up and asked "Tell me what you were doing and what you did."

I ambled to her study table and started looking at drawing of her designs "Well, I told Syaoran and he said…"

"Wait…" she interrupted "Is Syaoran that guy you are always with?"

I nodded and smiled "Yes."

Tomoyo purposely hit her forehead "How could you? He is a guy, guys are not suppose to know when you are on your period. "

"Why?"

"Because….just because. They are immature and they don't understand."

I heaved a sigh "Well he is not like most guys, Syaoran knows a lot of things. He's mature."

Tomoyo rolled her eyes "There is no such thing. Knowing many things does not make you mature. Don't you know that?"

"I was home schooled and my Dad is barely home. I only have one friend. We don't even own a TV; my father says Television is not good for a growing child. My mother died when I was four."

Tomoyo's eyes widened. "I'm sorry. Oh man! There is so much you need to learn."

I looked at her drawings once more "Do you like to draw?"

Tomoyo smiled "Yeap, I'm getting better everyday."

"Me too."

As cliché as this it, it marked the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

I slowly saw myself transform, I was no longer the naïve tomboy who had been home schooled. Syaoran was not bothered by this change, he was still my best friend. He said my outer appearance did not change who I was. I realize that men and women are not alike. All my life I thought Syaoran was the mature one, but the older I got the more I saw how immature he really was. The more he told himself he was mature for his age the more immature he appeared.

Nonetheless, I was crazy about him. Growing up, I was able to explore my feelings for him. I did not want him to be my best friend. In my heart I wanted more. I wanted him to love me the way I loved him all my life. When he touched me or held hand, even when he spoke to me, my heartbeat would reach Fahrenheit. I could hardly breath around him. I was very clumsy, he would always laugh at me. He believed I was naturally like that. I watched him become a man. I listened to him when he spoke of other girls. I bit back the truth and pretended I was alright. I was so in love with him that I dedicated my time to him. Sometimes it drove me crazy, it was a suffocating feeling. I never had time to have boyfriend. I could not think of other guys in that way. I got asked out a lot and not once did I accept. There was a time when a rumor spread across school that I was a lesbian. I did not admit or deny it, soon enough everyone forgot about it.

"Why didn't you just tell them it's not true?" Syaoran asked me one winter evening.

"I don't think I owe it to anyone to prove that I am not a lesbian."

He croaked his head then smirked "Then why don't you go on dates like everyone else. The guys at school are constantly talking about you in the locker room. They are continuously asking to hook them up with you or for your number."

"You wouldn't understand. I don't want to waist my time dating. I'd rather date one guy then marry him."

He rolled his eyes "You are seventeen. You won't know what's out there unless you date. I mean you have to kiss a few frogs before you find prince charming right?" he's gaze swallowed me.

"Come on, I'm not like you. I don't know how you manage to have to have a new girlfriend every week and you are never satisfied or happy."

He pondered then nodded "True, but…you're not really planning on staying a virgin till you get married are you?"

"I am. Gees Syaoran sometimes I think you don't respect my moral values."

"And you're decision has nothing to do with the fact that your father decided to become a preacher?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Well, I plan to stay single forever. I don't understand why anyone would want to wait. What if you marry when you are forty? Besides its fun and it feels good. I have had many opportunities but the minute I'm ready for a serous relationship I'm going for it. My cousin did it when he was thirteen."

I heaved a sigh and shook my head "You sure love to talk about sex. You sound like those kids in the peer pressure videos they forced us to watch during gym."

"I can't help it that I think about it alot."

I took two steps ahead of him "There is more to life."

"When you meet someone who sweeps you off your feet, you will forget your so called moral values."

I rolled my eyes.

A few weeks after we had the conversation. I overheard Syaoran's latest victim talking about how he made love to her in the backseat of his car. I was hurt; I did not understand why it hurt me so much. I never asked him about it. I did not want to hear it from his mouth. He never spoke about relationships to me again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

CHAPTER 1
a summers night

(Normal POV)


Three years later

"So who are you bringing to your fathers' banquet?" Yelan asked Syaoran sweeping his new apartment with her big brown eyes."

Syaoran looked at her "Uh…Sakura."

Her thin eyebrows descended "Sakura is a nice girl and all and you know how much I adore her but, she is very clumsy. She wasn't built for these kind of things if you know what I mean."

"Who would you suggest I bring?"

"Hitomi." She said referring to Syaoran's previous girlfriend "She is beautiful, a talented pianist, smart and from good family."

Syaoran opened the fridge muttering; "She's also a slut."

Yelan took a deep breath. "It's just that when you are with Sakura, you are very immature."

He took out a bottle of beer "Some people would call that happiness. I know how boring these banquets always are. I'm only going to enjoy it if Sakura is with me."

"Why are drinking this early, it's not even noon?"

"It's all I got right now in my fridge."

She looked uncomfortable "Let me go shopping for you. I can hire my interior designer to come decorate your apartment."

"Mother I'm fine, will you let me handle this." He took a sip of his beer.

"I worked my ass off in university so I can work at this law firm. I want to make it without you or Dad's help. Like normal people."

She picked out a strand of hair from her jacket "You are not normal, you are an heir. Your grandfather was an important figure in China."

Syaoran shrugged "I won't let my fortune determine who I am going to be."

"Well, I still think you should have worked for your father. Let me at least get you groceries. You can't live on pizza and beer for the rest of your life."

…

That evening Syaoran waited outside Sakura's apartment. She always took long to get ready but he found it difficult to get used to. She came out in a mini black cocktail dress. Her hair curled beautifully around her face. Her emerald eyes stood out remarkably.

"Thanks for inviting me." She said as they drove to the hotel where the banquet was to be held.

"No problem, you look beautiful." He said casually.

She grinned "Really? Thanks. I just threw this on. I had nothing to wear."

He smirked "Knowing you, you probably went shopping."

She playfully hit his shoulder "Fine, I used the money I was supposed to use for the rent."

"My mother suggested I bring Hitomi."

Sakura laughed aloud "Your mother is twisted. She knows about Hitomi reputation and she still wants you two together."

"You're telling me. She wants to control my life. She even suggested I move back to the mansion."

"She probably misses you."

He looked at her for a second "You're a great friend. I know I can be a real jerk sometimes but you still come with me to all these stupid events I am obliged to attend."

She shrugged "Someone has to."

The banquet was everything they expected. In the first hour, Syaoran's father introduced him to rich executives. Later, Syaoran spotted Hitomi talking to a man next to the bar.

"Don't mind her. She's doing it on purpose." Sakura said taking a sip of her wine.

"I know, it's just that…you know how much I hate loosing. She cheated then broke up with me when I caught her in the act."

Sakura rolled her eyes. Something strange came over her; she put her hands around Syaoran's neck. He simply laughed looking at her puzzled. Suddenly her lips were against his. She softly kissed him moving her hand to his waist. Syaoran felt like she was absorbing him. He closed his eyes and kissed her back. His heart started to beat past its normal rate. The blood rushed through his veins. He kissed her back even harder. He wanted to know what it was that was making his body respond the way it was. He held her closer, the feeling only grew stronger. Suddenly, to his disappointment, she pulled away. She winked at him wiping away the smudge her lipstick left on the side of his upper lip.

She walked past him as though nothing had happened "I'm going to the bar, my glass is empty."

Syaoran held his hand to his lips. Her kiss felt almost deadly, his heart was still beating very hard. He followed her to the bar. When she saw him approaching her she hurried towards his direction "Syaoran, it's a buy one get one freeee…." Her leg somehow got tangled around one of the cords. "Hoe…!" she yelled falling into Syaoran's arms. She spilt the red wine unto his shirt.

Syaoran merely laughed it off "You're such a klutz. At least now, I know that you are not going out of your mind."

"I'm sorry." She apologized trying to stand.

…

When the party ended, Syaoran drove her back to her apartment. She insisted he come up for a chat and coffee. This was normal right? They did this kind of stuff together all the time. In the elevator, Syaoran couldn't help but ask…

"So what was up with the kiss?"

Sakura's face turned bright red "I wanted to make Hitomi jealous for your sake. I also hate the bitch."

He chuckled "Such strong words coming from the preachers' daughter."

"Oh yes! You had to remind me. In the morning you won't remember a thing."

"I don't think I can forget that. I think I felt your tongue in my mouth."

The elevator stopped on the seventh floor and the couple ambled out "I was just being a friend. I know you would have done the same thing."

She opened the apartment door. Her apartment was rather small. Unlike his, the bedroom, the kitchen and the living room were squeezed together in one small room.

"Sorry for the mess. I've been busy."

"What mess?" he asked sarcastically. He walked up to the kitchen and opened the fridge "Don't you have any boos?"

"Haven't you had enough? Besides, you know I don't keep alcohol in my apartment."

He closed the fridge "I wasn't the one drinking, you were. I'm surprised you're not drunk?"

Sakura took a deep breath, she did not want to answer to him "I love summer nights."

He nodded. "Hey, you think I can use your bathroom. I need to do something about this stain."

"Sure."

He was only gone for a few minutes when he yelled out her name. Sakura rushed to the bathroom. The door was wide open.

"I can't close the tap."

Sakura giggled "Spoilt rich kid."

"Hey, what did I say about calling me that." He joked, "It's not my fault nothing in your apartment works."

Sakura pressed hard on the tap and the water stopped "There, easy."

Syaoran raised his shoulders. Sakura finally realized that Syaoran was not wearing his shirt anymore. She turned aside then looked at him once more. She would not overcome the feelings of lust that were growing in her heart. She thought of the passionate kiss they shared at the banquet, how it was everything she had wanted it to be. She was aware of the sinful nature of her thoughts but she failed to block them. Her skin tingled and her legs quivered.

"Are you alright." He asked her.

She shook her head hard "Uh, no. I was just thinking about every thing we've seen together. You have been there for me, since I was a little girl and…"

As he moved closer so did their faces, her heart was erupting in her throat "What are you doing?" she dared to ask. He held her hand. Their hands were clasped tightly. He was not sure of what he was doing but he knew he wanted to discover the feeling she gave him when they kissed. He closed his eyes and whispered, "I don't know…all I'm sure of is that I want to do this. It feels right."

He kissed her lips and she did not hesitate to kiss him back. His lips moved slowly above hers. She was taking everything out of him. She ran her fingers through his hair pulling him closer to her. Now her breasts were against his chest. He lost felt himself loosing control. He trapped her against the bathroom wall next to the door. Sakura moaned under his touch.

He sucked and kissed her long neck. It was like fire against her skin. She held tightly unto him. It was happening too fast. She knew that if the was any slower she was to explode. His hands roamed ever inch of her slender body. The goosebumps on her skin gave him as sense of direction. He tasted her mouth once more. It was as if he was reading her mind. He knew exactly where to touch her and how to do it. His hands moved from her waist to down to her bottom. He gently squeezed it then suddenly pulling her dress over her legs. His body pressed hard against hers.

"Is it normal that I'm seriously horny right now? We've just started" She kissed his lips and muttered "Hurry up."

She felt his member harden between her inner thighs. His actions made her even more aroused. She suppressed a moan. His hands were gently rubbing her inner thighs before he abruptly pulled down her damp underwear halfway down her thighs.

Suddenly he withdrew his body from hers. This left her body feeling cold and abandoned. She pulled her panties up her face bright red.

"Have you changed your mind?"

He swallowed hard "That's not it. Are you sure you want to go through with this cause there is no going back."

She ambled to the bedroom. He practically tore off her dress in his quest to get it off. The room was dim. He was now standing behind her. She turned around and placed her hands around his neck.

"I need you to make love to me before I explode."

He flashed her a naughty grin.

……………

His eyes were fixed on her. He had watched her sleep for almost an hour. The sheets covered bits of her body giving him even more to admire about her. He took a sip of his coffee leaning back on the chair he grabbed from her study desk. He took a deep breath as thoughts of the previous night consumed his mind.

"Morning." He voice said. He shook his head trying to shake the thought.

She moved the sheets to cover the rest of her body "What time is it?" she asked tiredly.

"Uh, half past five. I have to get back home and get ready for work."

"Don't remind me." She sighed.

Suddenly there was an awkward moment of silence they seldom has. Unexpectedly she giggled eyeing him from his toes up to his head. He was only wearing his boxers.

"What's so funny?" his face was as red as a ripe tomato.

"Spiderman boxers, that's real cute. I thought you for over your secret obsession with comic books."

He smiled back at her "Well, I didn't know I'd be…." He blushed even more "spending the night."

Her face was red now. She moved her hand underneath her head "I can't believe we really…"

He looked at her then coyly shifted his gaze to the ground. He's never been shy to talk about it up to now. "Yeah, me to." He finally looked at her. There was smirk on his face.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you. I got a job offer at Zain animation studios. They want me to take the place of their previous graphic designer."

His face lightened up "Wow, I'm so proud of you. To think you only graduated from college a month ago. But isn't that a thousand miles from here?"

She nodded "I know, I really don't want to leave home. I might just turn it down, I don't want to be far from….my friends." She swallowed the actual words she meant to say.

"True, I understand. I mean…" he paused "I wouldn't want you to move."

He stood up abruptly "I better put my clothes on and get out of here."

On his way out, Sakura stood by the door. She was wore a silk pink robe that went above her knees. He stood next to her now in the clothes he wore the previous night "We really need talk about this and us."

She nodded "Of course."

He was silent for a while before he gave her a peck on the cheek. Then he gave her a peck on the other cheek. Then he gave her a quick kiss on her mouth. He kissed her once more and she responded eagerly. She placed hands on his waist and pulled him closer. She was not wearing anything under her robe. Her breasts pressed tightly against his chest, he could not resist her.

Suddenly she pulled away "You better get to work. You don't want to be late." He nodded then left.

Sakura was confused. It was not the way she had imagined it would be. Everything seemed like it happened so fast. She smiled at herself, it was still what she wanted. She cleaned up her apartment and took a shower.

Late in the morning, Tokyo came to visit.

"You what?!" Tomoyo yelped nearly falling off the chair.

"You heard me." Sakura blushed not wanting to repeat herself.

"Hmmm…it was about time. You are two very attractive people. As much as you take your friendship seriously, it was inevitable of you to have sex. You have loved him all your life. I knew you were saving your virginity for him."

Sakura didn't know whether to smile or not.

"So how was he, please, you must tell me."
Sakura took a few steps from Tomoyo "It was wonderful…I think I cried. I've never felt so happy."

Tomoyo had to accept the little information Sakura provided, after all Sakura was not one to go into details about such things.

"So what's next?"

"I don't know." She muttered.

To be continued

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