The Great Escape
Lily Evans and James Potter, Conquering the World, one Prison Cell at a Time
"What the hell do you mean we can't get out?" Lily Evans demanded angrily, brushing her long, auburn hair away from her face.
"He obviously means we can't get out," James Potter interrupted condescendingly from his perch on the floor.
"Excuse me, I'm having a conversation here," she brushed him off brusquely. Turning her attention back to the guard, she continued. "What do you mean we can't get out?' she repeated. "You have no reason to keep us in here! It was all a giant misunderstanding!"
"I'm sorry miss," the guard finally acknowledged, looking at her pitifully, "We're not allowed to talk to prisoners." The guard, Roberto, his nametag said, was a wizened old man. James and Lily had thought it to be rather strange that the man guarding them was old. He surely could be easily overpowered by two young people such as themselves… but each kept their thoughts to themselves. It wasn't like they could get out anyway… not without their wands… which had been confiscated.
Lily and James, simply put, were wizards. They could perform magic. And after having spent 7 years at the best school for magic in Europe and graduating top of their class, they were ready to face the trials and tribulations of the world… including—but not limited to—life in a Muggle—that is non magic—prison.
Lily had been quite truthful when she had told Roberto that it had been a misunderstanding. They had been chasing a wizard and criminal, Markus Kendal and had finally managed to locate him—in the middle of an armed bank robbery in the dead of the night. Needless to say, Markus and his cronies had immediately stunned James and Lily and Disappearated on the spot, seconds before the Muggle police swarmed the building when the alarm had gone off. Unable to perform any magic before the Muggles (as was commanded by Ministry of Magic laws) the pair had been arrested and put in a cell.
James hadn't understood why they'd put them in the same cell. Wouldn't it be easier to plan an escape if they were together? He wondered idly what Lily would do to him if he suggested they have sex to freak out the prison officials. He'd never understand Muggles and their bizarre ways, he decided, hiding the smirk on his face from Lily's all-seeing green eyes.
The cell itself was as boring as Muggle cells got: two beds on two sides of the wall and a sink in the corner. The other wall was covered in bars through which Lily was currently leaning out of, begging the guard.
"We're not prisoners!" Lily cried through the bars. "It was a mistake! We didn't do anything wrong! I'm innocent."
"Don't bother," James said cheerily, not having moved from his spot. "They never listen."
"No, no, no!" Lily wailed at the guard, ignoring James. "I have to be at Carmen's house by two!" The guard looked pained. "And do you know who Carmen is Roberto?" she asked rhetorically.
"No, miss. But you really shouldn't—" the guard answered anyway but was cut off by Lily. Almost nothing could stop her when she was being dramatic.
"I'll tell you who Carmen is- she's my BEST FRIEND! And she's getting married. Today! And I'm supposed to be her Maid of Honor. Do you want to tell her why her Maid of Honor isn't at her wedding?"
James snorted. She had no such friend. Here was Lily Evans, Prefect for two years, Head Girl to his Head Boy, the stereotypical Ms. Goody Twoshoes— lying to the police. He would never let her live this down.
The guard looked rather amused as he said calmly, "Sorry miss. You seem like a nice lady, but, what can I say, they all do."
Lily huffed impatiently. "Do you know who James Potter is?!" she cried suddenly. "James Potter. His father, Harold Potter… owns half of London! And you dare to put his son in prison?!"
James frowned. Now this was taking the lie a little too far. His father owned no part of London—except their house. Why couldn't she use her own name?
"Lily I don't think they give a rat's ass about why we need to get out of here," James said, deciding to put a stop to it before she claimed to be the Prime Minister's niece.
It was obviously not the right thing to do because she rounded on him instead.
"You're not even trying to get us out of here! So shut up and let me try. At least I'm doing something useful." James raised an eye at her arrogance
"We'll just wait for the Ministry to sort things—"
"And when do you think the Ministry is going to realize that two of their Aurors on a secret mission are missing? Definitely not for the next few weeks!"
James blanched at that thought. He hadn't thought of that. The Ministry had paired James and Lily together for a mission: the capture of Markus Kendal. They were supposed to be unreachable for the next few weeks. Why would the ministry, or any of their friends for that matter, be searching for them?
James tried not to let his mistake be visible to Lily but she noticed and smirked at him condescendingly.
"You better get up off your ass and start thinking."
The guard had shifted from his stance beside the cell and peered in curiously. "Aurors? Ministry?" he asked. "Is that who you work for?? Some organization called The Ministry?"
James realized his mistake in bringing up the Ministry immediately. Lily glared daggers at him. If looks could kill, he'd have been dead and buried over ten times already.
"Nice," she muttered sarcastically to him. "Now you've done it."
She tossed her hair righteously and stalked to the bed on the opposite side and threw herself onto it. She was annoyed enough as it were at the fact that not only had her wand been confiscated, but she'd been asked to remove her robes, and perfectly normal attire of jeans, boots, and shirt in order to change into a pair of hideous neon orange jumpers that clashed horribly with her hair. She could only imagine how terrible she looked.
She thanked god that she'd only ended up with Potter. She couldn't care less about him or how she looked in front of him. He was a stuck up, arrogant jerk who she was only working with because the Ministry had forced them together. Something about their talents being compatible. Pffft. Like she and Potter would ever be compatible!
She wished she could have been with Marlene or even Sirius. For his one major fault of being Potter's best friend, Sirius Black was a pretty decent guy. They'd gotten to know each other a lot better two years ago when he and her best friend Marlene had tried their hand at dating. That hadn't worked out so well but the three of them were fairly close friends and often still met up for coffee.
If she'd been with someone else, they'd be actively trying to get them out as well. But no. With her luck, she'd ended up with James 'Jackass' Potter. She glared at him, telepathically trying to communicate her anger towards him.
He seemed to receive her mental message for he suddenly turned his head so that his hazel eyes connected with her cold green ones. He narrowed his eyes at her. She put on what Marlene liked to refer to as her "bitch face" and turned her head defiantly away from him.
"Don't we get a telephone call?" he asked suddenly. "That's what they always do in the Muggle movies."
Lily now stared at him in shock. For being a Muggle-born she was pretty annoyed with herself for not having thought of it herself.
"I was waiting for the right moment," she defended herself weakly.
James smirked condescendingly at her. "Admit it Evans. I thought of something before you did," he gloated.
Lily wanted to chuck something at him but a quick scan of their cell provided nothing she could effectively silence him with. She swore that the second she had her wand again, she'd put a Silencing Charm on him.
"Roberto?!" Lily called out, jumping out of the bed and towards the cell. "I have a phone call and I'd like to make it now."
Roberto looked skeptically at her but signaled to a nearby officer who came over. Once Roberto had relayed her request to the officer, the new police officer silently unlocked the door, taking care to hold on to her so she wouldn't escape. That offended Lily greatly. She was too honorable to just run away and leave James there… though that seemed to be an increasingly better option.
The policeman sat her down on a chair in the room and cuffed her to a nearby pole. He placed the phone in front of her unceremoniously.
"You have five minutes," he warned her and resumed his work at his desk on the other side of the room.
She picked up the phone, upset at the horrendous treatment she'd received from the guy. She then put the receiver down, realizing that she had no one to call. They had more effective means of communicating at both the Ministry and the Order, neither of which was possible without her wand. She didn't know any of her magical friends who had a phone, and if they did she didn't know their number.
She huffed, resisting the urge to throw the phone at the rude guy's head, thinking that she would perhaps hurt her case if she harmed an officer of the law.
And then a thought suddenly struck her. She could call home. She realized that her sister (who had disowned her years ago) had moved into their parents' house after their death and though Lily was positive she'd changed the number, she decided it was worth the risk.
In any case, she doubted that her sister would be willing to help. Left with no other choices, Lily unwillingly dialed the number to her childhood home.
After a few rings a gruff male voice picked up with a smart, "Dursley residence."
Lily gulped. She'd half hoped that she had changed the number but no, it was her husband. "Ahem," she cleared her throat. "Is, um, Petunia there?"
"Just a moment."
Lily waited, taking a deep breath, until her sister picked up the call.
"Hello?"
Lily cleared her throat again. "Hey 'Tunia. It's, um, Lily."
There was a long pause.
"Excuse me?" Petunia finally responded.
Lily sighed. "Look, 'Tuney, I never planned for this but I was working and something happened and now I'm in jail."
Petunia scoffed. "Figures you and your kind are up to no good. I told you Lily, I told you years ago that there was nothing good to come out of your sort. Now look at the mess you've landed yourself in. Why can't you ask some of your freak friends to help you? Why should I help you?"
"It, uh, complicated. Look I wouldn't call you unless it was an emergency," Lily pleaded. "It's a Muggle—er, a normal jail. It's in London."
Petunia was silent again. Lily crossed her fingers and prayed that Petunia would choose this moment to be kind.
"There's no reason for me to help you," Petunia finally said and hung up.
"Petunia!" Lily called into the phone but her sister was long gone. She slammed the phone down and ran an hand through her hair. She let her head fall onto the counter as she sighed again. Petunia, her last chance had refused to help her.
The officer returned with a sneer and uncuffed her, pulling her back to her cell. She was shoved in and the bars pulled shut around her again.
James gave her a curious look.
"Who'd you call?" he asked her.
"My sister," she replied shortly. She was in a terrible mood and James Potter was not helping.
"And?" he prompted.
"And nothing," she snapped. "We're basically stuck here for the next two months unless you can find some way of communicating to someone at the Ministry or the Order."
James thought for a moment. "Isn't Kingsley Shacklebolt working at the Muggle Minister's office?"
Lily would have jumped up in joy, dancing and screaming—if she'd thought about it. Her pride couldn't handle the fact that he'd been right twice already. Where's your head Lily? She chastised herself.
"Yes," she admitted grudgingly. "You're going to have to call the Prime Minister and then connect to Kingsley. I already used up my call. But you don't have the number. Do you even know how to use the phone?" she asked suddenly, as the thought struck her.
James scoffed at her. "I can use the phone perfectly fine," he insisted.
"What you know from Muggle Studies and movies don't count."
"I used to date a Muggle girl," he said, rolling his eyes. "I've used the phone before. Plus Moony's made sure that we all knew everything about Muggles just in case we ever needed it. In fact, he put a phone in everyone's houses, you know in case of emergen—"
Lily sat up straight, positively livid. "A PHONE?!" she shrieked. "In everyone's houses?!"
Her face turned five shades of red as she attempted to control herself. She looked like she was about ready to explode.
"Evans? You alright? You look like you're one of those Valentine's Day color changing balloons at that stupid Hogsmead café," he snorted.
"You could have called ANYONE by now and you didn't think to mention that crucial fact until now?" she demanded. She really wanted to hex him—or just strangle him with her bare hands.
"Oh," James said. "I might have mentioned it if it weren't for the simple fact that their phone numbers are in my wallet. With the police."
He tried to contain himself from glaring at her but it was becoming exceedingly hard. She was making it really difficult for him with her ego and temper tantrums and constant acting as if she was better than him. For all the faults she constantly accused of him, she had most of them, in addition to a short fuse.
Lily stared at him, slightly ashamed, though she'd never in a million years admit it to him.
"Well," she said, and James knew that was as good as an apology he was going to get from her.
"Roberto?" he called, not paying attention to her cries of, "Who are you calling?"
He was also handed off like a parcel until he reached the phone. He stared at the Muggle device. He honestly had no idea who to call; he'd just wanted to get out of there, away from her.
Sometimes it seemed so crazy that she was the love of his life. It seemed ridiculous that he was so masochistic that he let her abuse him and he still went crawling back to her. This had been something that had been going on since they were 13 years of age. However, like all bad habits, this hadn't been something he could break easily, despite his friends' insistences of 'she's not worth it, mate.' He'd begin to agree with them but then she'd do something—like laugh, or talk to him—and then he was a goner again, unable to help but think that she was worth it and that if he was patient enough or virtuous enough, she'd finally realize that he was serious about her.
He began sifting through his memories, wondering if he could somehow recall Moony's number. He glanced over at the officer and wondered if he'd give him the number of the Muggle Minister. The man looked strict in his firmly pressed uniform and hat; James decided to not risk it, scared he'd accidentally let something slip about their world.
Was it 8566? He wondered idly. Or 8655? Or maybe it was 8656…
James groaned in exasperation. He simply couldn't remember the number!
He decided to try all three combinations, praying he'd luck out at some point.
It took his two tries but the third number was indeed that of his friend Remus Lupin, who answered after four long rings.
"Hello?"
"Moony?" James asked,
"Prongs?" His heart rate quickening as he realized that he'd managed to get a hold of his friend and perhaps find a way out.
"Yeah! Merlin! It's great to hear your voice mate!"
"What's wrong?" Remus asked. He'd been aware of the fact that Lily and James had gone off on a mission because he was one of the primary workers on the Markus case. "Did you find Markus?"
"It's a long story but Markus gave us the slip. That son of a bitch."
"Damn it," Remus swore. "Where are you? Are you on his trail?"
"No that's the thing. Lily and I kinda got caught up."
Remus' voice took on a guarded tone. "Caught up?" he asked skeptically.
James sighed, embarrassed that they'd been caught by Muggles. "We're kinda in jail."
"Azkaban?!" Remus cried, alarmed.
"No! no!" James rushed to correct his friend. "Muggle prison," he clarified, whispering the word 'Muggles' so the officer in the room wouldn't hear.
"Seriously?" Remus asked in shock. James knew he'd never live down the constant teasing from his friends.
"Marauder's honor! Now I need you to get me out!"
Remus stayed silent for a moment before bursting out into laughter. "Where are you?" he managed to get out while James impatiently gritted his teeth.
He gave his friend the address, and with a quick command for him to hurry, James slammed the phone down, ignoring the howls of laughter from the other end of the phone.
James didn't want to go back to the cell and deal with Lily. Remus' insensitivity and his embarrassment were putting him in a rather sour mood. He was sure he'd snap at Lily within moments of being back.
He resisted the urge to punch the officer who dragged him back to his cell. Lily was seated on the bed, her anger seemingly sated.
"Who'd you call?" she demanded within seconds of his return.
"Remus," he replied shortly. He walked to his own bed and, taking off his shoes, lay down. He slid his glasses off and folded them on his chest. He ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath.
"Well what did he say?" Lily continued.
"He'll take care of it," James responded gruffly.
"Jesus Christ, Potter, I'm just asking."
James wasn't in the mood to argue with her so he let it slide. Lily, however, wasn't ready for him to just quit.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked him. "One minute you're pissed off and the next you're dead," she complained.
"What the hell do you want from me Evans?" James asked tiredly.
Lily looked taken aback by his sudden indifference to her.
"Oh well… nothing, whatever."
She, too, lay down on the bed, and stared blankly at the ceiling.
James sighed, feeling guilty for treating her that way. He just wished that she'd not constantly treat him like a new puppy that hadn't been potty trained yet.
"Evans," he began but he was cut off by a loud bang. Both he and Lily sat up abruptly, and glanced at each other. Out of habit, both of them reached for their wands, mentally slapping themselves when they realized that they didn't have them. They both ran to the bars and peered out because the commotion seemed to be coming from the other side of them.
They found Roberto slumped against the wall.
"HELP!" Lily cried out, hoping to call attention to one of the other officers to come take care of him. "SOMEBODY HE—"
James had suddenly clamped his hands over her mouth.
"The bar's hinges are broken!" he hissed and pushed them wide enough for him to shove Lily through them and squeeze himself through. But the damage had been done: other guards had heard the commotion and had come to check out the scene for themselves.
James, from years of sneaking around his school, hiding from teachers, patrolling Prefects, and the caretaker, took charge immediately and pulled Lily along with him as he ran down a corridor in the opposite direction.
"Potter!" she cried behind him but James ignored her and continued to pull her along. James grinned when he realized that they'd made it to the exit without being caught. However, Lily stopped him by tugging her arm free. James turned around to yell at her when one word froze him.
"Wand!"
James let out a string of curses under his breath as he quickly attempted to find where they could possibly have kept their belongings. Lily, finally, having regained both her tongue and dignity pointed out a door they'd sped past and they back tracked.
Though the door was locked, James managed to break it down, startling the police officer within. He reached for his walkie in alarm. James rushed to stop him but the officer uttered a cry of "Help!"
James swore again and punched the officer out. Lily, in the meantime had run around the room and found where their belongings, also known as evidence, was kept.
"My boots!" she cried happily, grabbing everything she could. "Potter! Come get your crap," she ordered. James sprinted and grabbed his things. Lily looked wistfully at her clothes, wishing she could have changed into them.
Lily, instead, shrunk her clothes with her newly re-stolen wand and stuffed them into her pockets. She watched James repeat her actions. The two of them ran out of the room towards the exit.
They had taken no more than a few steps towards the exit when they heard the cocking of a guy and a cry of "FREEZE!"
Lily and James froze and spun around. They were surrounded by the police.
Lily contemplated all the ways she could escape without either exposing themselves or hurting anyone. She had just come up with an elaborate plan for a silent spell and a distraction involving the cork bulletin board behind them when the exit door burst open. Using the sudden disturbance as a distraction, Lily and James looked at each other, grabbed each other, and Apparated together out of the building.
As Lily and James stood winded, a hundred meters behind the Police Station, they were joined by a laughing Remus Lupin and Sirius Black.
Lily glared at them, managing to do that quite successfully, even while she looked so haggled and stressed.
"Couldn't you have picked something less conspicuous?" James panted.
"Hey beggars can't be choosers." Sirius Black winked at his best friend and dodged a punch to his shoulder. He let out a bark like laughter.
Lily clutched her chest, her mind rushing miles ahead of her mouth. She had so many things she wanted to yell about and she had no idea where to begin. Her breath had just begun to slow down. However, before she could open her mouth to reprimand any of them they were interrupted.
"Over there!"
"After them!"
Two of the police officers had spotted the group. Lily looked at the three boys: James, tired but nonetheless more alive that she'd ever seen him; Remus, his mature face looking uncharacteristically youthful; and Sirius the trouble maker, his eyes glinting maniacally. She barely had time to take one more deep breath before she was spurred onward by a loud cry of, "RUN!"
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
A/N: Hey guys. So this was basically a character development exercise that kinda just grew a mind of its own. It's not entirely realistic or factual or very well written but like I said it was just a practice exercise that I wrote for my own purposes. However, I had a lot of fun writing it so I decided to post it and see what kind of feedback I got. I don't know if I want to expand on this and make it into its own story. It is rather open ended... But for right now this is a one shot. We'll see how things go after Echoes is done =]]
Review!