My first time writing Itachi, but I love him, so I thought I'd give it a shot. Been in a bit moody lately, so this may possibly reflet that...I take my frustration and turn it into descriptive words... But I think it's to cynical and full of NaruSasu to be too grumpy...Don't think this oneshot turned out too shabby either. Enjoy.

Warning: Kinda obvious NaruSasu and just a smidge of KisaIta. Ah yes, AU as well.

My Kingdom for a Cup of Tea

Awaking to the gentle hum of the electric fans in my room, and the lingering aroma of incense that was lit the night before, it was necessary to believe that nothing was amiss in this household. That the calm demeanor of this scene was normal and long awaited. Lifting myself from the sheets beneath me, the sweet summer air filled my lungs, and I plunged into a euphoria that I could near enough taste then imagine.

I, solitary and enjoying my hot cup of tea, sat silently, clean and comfortable, with my half open lids eying the beams of sunlight that danced through the windows, waltzing with every misshapen cloud that was whisked away by the light breeze.

However, swinging like the wings of a bat, the front door was flung open against the wall, and a tremendous thwack followed the battered piece of wood through the entryway.

As far as living alone goes, It is a honor that I most certainly dream of.

The low rumble in my throat grew to an all out bark, fangs and all.

"Sasuke! What the fuck are you doing!"

A curse was uttered, and the sound of moving bodies drifted down the hall. A head resembling the rear end of a duck was thrust into the kitchen where I resided. His upper body clothed in red slowly appeared in the door way, but it was obvious that he did not intend to stay long in my sight. The Duck's eyes narrowed.

"I thought you would have left by now."

My little brother made no attempt to hide the disgusted sneer on his face.

"Obviously, I have not. Where would I need to be at ten in the morning." I snarled back. "And why the hell do you have to break down the door every time you come inside!"

"It was nothing it didn't already deserve," Sasuke said with a smirk growing on his face.

I lifted the tea cup and growled, "The door deserves unkindness? Is it really necessary to take your hormonal repression out on the thing that keeps the naughty, bad people outside?"

"It must not be working. You're in here," He replied throwing an inappropriate gesture towards me.

"Maybe because with you slamming it around the things nearly off it's hinges..."

Ignoring me completely, Sasuke turned and motioned back into the hall. All of a sudden a teenager's whiskered face with tousled yellow spikes joined my brother's in the door frame.

I weakened my glare at the blond boy. "Naruto, how nice to see you. Are you keeping an eye on Sasuke and making sure he doesn't make too much of an ass out of himself?"

The tanned face broke into a shy smile. "Sure! I've got the bastard under control!" Naruto's face twisted in pain as an unseen foot slammed into his own.

"Shut up, Idiot." Sasuke grumbled, attempting to look more deadly then he really was.

"Little brother, I really doubt that name calling will solve anything here, especially your tendency to be such a controlling dominatrix."

A stream of highly rude words dripped from his tongue then, some of which I had never even heard of before...He has quite the mouth on him. Seems only yesterday he was a grabby, toothless little toddler...

Turning from the kitchen, Sasuke retreated to his room with Naruto in tow, who threw a small wave back at me before his arm was yanked towards a sanctuary far from my being.

Sasuke's bedroom door slams. I refrain from screaming into my lukewarm beverage. God knows that door must stay in tact if I wished to separate myself from my brother's sex life.

I do not wish to go there. Instead I visualize...

I am a swirling ball of anger and stress flying through the seemingly oceanic sky, dancing along the clouds like tiny crystalline fish on colorful sailboats of wind, gracefully catapulting into some unknown victim's stomach (Sasuke) in bloody fireworks of half digested bagels and small intestines.

Staring into my mug, I watch a few stray tea leaves float skywards and stick to the edge of the glass, which is now cold in my hands.

This is not pleasing.

A thump and a moan escape through frighteningly thin walls and attack my inner ear.

Neither is that.

Flung from a peaceful morning in my home alone, I flip open my cell phone, dial a few numbers, and steadily walk into the hallway to make a desperate escape.

When I step out of my not-so-empty apartment, it picks up. I make new plans that ensure a hot cup of tea for my aching soul and fix to close the door behind me.

"Kisame? Meet me at the cafe round the corner..."

My fingers twitch on the doorknob as more personal noises swim into my domain.

"Because I said so..."

I snap the cell phone shut, dismissing any refusal from my boyfriend and after a second thought, I slam the door behind me.