A Heart Never Forgets

by Kanshisha Miko

Severus Snape is an enigma. He seemed like the villain, and ended up as an hero. He truly is a mystery waiting to be solved. When he died, these are they're manythings he thought of. His feelings, His past, everything. And most of all his angel, Lily.

1. Severus Snape

A Heart Never Forgets

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did I would be super rich and famous and it's obvious I'm not.

Thank you peoples for looking at my new story. As a blooming new author I am, I would LOVE constructive criticism. Flames, however, I do NOT tolerate! So be a nice person and make a nice review after reading this.

Severus Snape's POV

A bliss, that is how I feel. Is this really heaven, do I even deserve to be in Heaven? The tendrils of darkness should have taken me to where I deserve to be. I have no will to live. What I wanted, no I needed most was taken away from me seventeen years ago by the very man who killed me. Voldemort! That dreadful name, the man who I used to worship, the man who took away my first love, and the man who I deceived for many years. The man that I wish will burn for all eternity for what he has caused. Now all I have to do is wait for the tendril of darkness take me away, take me away from I always wanted. Lily, the gentle flower of bloom. The only person who has ever been able to make me smile. Voldemort has taken that person away from me. I never did anything about about it. And for that I deserve to fall into the depths of darkness. Lily, the only one I could ever feel this way around. I'll never forget the first time I stared into those angelic green eyes of her...

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I stare into the vast sky above my, swaying back and forth on the swing on the playground. Today is my 8thbirthday, and once again I'm alone out here. Out of the corner of my eye, I see other staring, talking to each other in whispers as if I couldn't hear them. Who do these muggles think they are whispering about me!? Weakling they are! Anger reaching my fist, clenching so hard that the knuckles are pure white. Then again this happens all the time. The whispers, the stares, it never changes. If they think I'm weird, look at themselves. I lean back into thin air as I take another glance at the blue sky. My eyes lock into another for a moment. Emerald green eyes stare into my eyes, for a moment I thought that I was staring into the eyes of a angel. In a split second I realize what I had done, thought of a muggle as something good. I pull myself up and face front.

"Ummm," A soft, angelic voice comes to my ears.

"What," I harshly say wanting her to keep talking, but yet not wanting to because she is a muggle.

"Are you okay? You seemed a little lonely today," She says as a gentle smile grazes her lips.

'I'm fine," I replied a little less harsher than I was earlier. Inside I was nearly hitting myself for even thinking of conversing with one of those stupid muggles.

She smiles one more and I think I'm in Nirvana. "Happy Birthday," She shouts.

"What!?" I say broken out of my trance," H-How did you know?"

"Well I overheard some of other kids say something about your birthday being today. They almost played a prank on you, luckily I stopped them. Besides you seemed a little sullen, so I decided to cheer you up," She said.

"Thanks," I reply with a small (very small) smile of my lips.

"Ah, you smiled!!!!!," She yells in delight.

I spent the rest of the day with her. Besides spending one day with this muggle can't do any harm. Little did I know that the future would be far worse.

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Back then, Lily was to me a muggle angel that rescues me. Without people knowing, she naturally become my best friend, though I never stated it. I tried not to get close for when I was to turn eleven, I knew I would leave her for my own magical realm. But for some reason, I could never leave her. Then came the day of my eleventh year when the letter was to come.

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I stood there with a letter that I knew that was from Hogwarts. Today was the day, the day that I would tell Lily I would leave her. I shoved the small letter into my pocket and closed the door with a slam. I put on a hard face and headed toward our private meeting spot, a big oak tree that resides in the dark evergreen forest. While walking there, I thought time had slowed down, every step had counted. This would be the last time I would ever see Lily. My sadness crept up to me, I had not realized how much I'd cared for Lily. I had finally reached the big oak tree. Lily was already there, with a smile larger than usual. You could tell her green orbs were filled with excitement as she jumped up and down, her red hair swishing.

"Severus, Severus, guess what!!!????" Lily's voice shook with happiness.

"What," I softly asked.

"I got accepted to this school," Lily voice greatly dropped, "But that means I won't be seeing you that much, you see this school is a boarding school."

Well that worked fine, I'm going to a new school, and so is she. We'll forget about each other and never see each other.

"I also got accepted into a boarding school," I said monotonously.

An awkward silence came between us. Maybe it was out nervousness, maybe not, but we said our school name at the same time.

"I'm going to Hogwarts," we simultaneously shouted.

"What you're going to Hogwarts, the magical school," I said shocked.

"What, how do you know about Hogwarts?" Lily asked, "I barely know anything, but my parents are proud, I guess."

I went along and shared deepest darkest secret. My heritage, my magical ability. At the same time I was excited to go to the same school as her, I was afraid if she would hate me for that secret.

I stared hesitantly into her eyes, afraid of her next word.

"That is so- so AMAZING," she shouted, "I've been worried about this school, but now I'm so excited."

We spent the rest of the day telling her about the school, houses, and the magical realm. Unfortunately I hoped we ended in the same house.

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Thinking back that was one of the most happiest moments of my life. I had only thought of me and Lily together. Unfortunately it was at Hogwarts, where my life had turned to the worst.

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I got up from Hogwarts Express. Today was not the greatest! I had to deal with Lily's sister, Petunia, screaming at me that it was my fault Lily was leaving. Ugh! I off the train with Lily by my side. Lily already knew everything, she had already read almost all the books. I swear she's a Ravenclaw, but I wish we were both sorted in Slytherin. But I knew that was impossible! She was to good and nice to be a Slytherin. We reached Hogwarts and we stared at the 4 long tables. The Sorting had begun.

"Anderson, Abigail," Professor McGonnagal said,

The first person went up and was sorted into Hufflepuff. I basically tuned everything else out and heard, "Evans, Lily."

Lily left from my side, we had been both silent from our nervousness. We might not ever have a chance to talk that much if we were in separate houses.

Lily sat in the chair as the Sorting Hat was placed on her. I could see how nervous she was. After I saw her talking to the Sorting Hat, the hat opened it mouth. It shouted, "Gryffindor!!!!!!!"

I saw her look of excitement and that was good enough for me. Even though we would probably in rival houses, I would still love her. She looked at me and smiled. I stood there waiting for my turn to sit in that chair. Soon enough I heard McGonnagal say, "Snape, Severus."

I slowly walked up to the chair and sat down.

'Hmmm, a great mind and passion towards a certain girl,' the hat thought to me. I nearly flushed at the girl part. A thirst for knowledge, very cunning, calculating, I know where to put you,' the hat finished with a loud, " SLYTHERIN!"

I got up and walked to the Slytherin table sparing one glance at Lily. We locked eyes and smiled at each other.

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Even after that moment of separation, we stayed to closest of friends. We could secretly meet in a small room behind everyone else's eyes. I had my Slytherin friends and she had her Gyffindor friends. But worst of all I could only watch as that stupid Potter talk to her. I thought back then, even with our differences we would be able to be together. Unfortunately I was an idiot, and broke our friendship apart in our 5th year.

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I was walking out of a door and reached outside. Today was like any other day, the day was sunny. I couldn't think of anything else, except one thing, soon I would be meeting Lily again. Classes had all ended for the day. Unfortunately I heard someone say, "Snivellus."

I tore my head that way and say Potter. That dreadful nickname by a most annoying person. Potter, a Gryffindor, was one person I did not want to meet today. Not only was he in the same house as Lily, but he tried to flirt with her at any chance. At first I ignored him, but I did not notice he came closer. With all the bullying he had, did when I saw him by my face I reacted. I dropped my book bag and reached for my wand. before I could even pull it out, he cried out, "Expelliarmus!"

My wand flew at least twelve feet from my hand and my eyes were in terror. I was completely defenseless, I had no wand while he had all the power. I heard the Sirius Black laughing at me, how could he laugh when he was the only Black to have ever been sorted into Gryffindor. Has he no shame?! I made a jump towards my fallen wand. Before I reached there Potter yelled out another spell, "Impedimenta!"

'Where the heck were the Professors!' was what I thought as my body unnaturally slowed down. Students slowly gathering around us, some apprehensive, others entertained.

James then spoke up, "How'd the exam go, Snivelly?"

Sirius continued," I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. Now there'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Anger fueled my mind, I all wanted to do it rip these 2 into shreds. I had hoped Lily would not come and see my embarrassment. Many people around me laughed, I tried to get up, but the spell was till in effect.

"You – wait," I panted as I looked at James in hatred, "you – wait."

"Wait for what?" Sirius coolly replied, "What're you going to do Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

I tried hexing them even without the wand, unfortunately I was not good at wandless magic yet.

"Wash your mouth," James coldly stated, "Scourgify!"

Bubbles reached my mouth covering my lips, making me gag.

"Leave him ALONE!!!!" A female voice rose above the crowd.

Lily had walked into the front anger shown deep in her eyes. I had only thought of them, how embarrassed I was in front of her. I saw James trying to tame his wild hair, trying to impress her.

"All right, Evans?" James said in a more deep, mature voice.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated I in anger, "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James started, "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

Many students laughed at me, why had Lily came she would embarrass herself and it would be all my fault.

"You think you're funny," Lily coldly said, "But you're just an arrogant, bullying, toerag. Potter, Leave him alone."

"I will if you go out with me Evans," James said quickly, "Go on.. go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and a giant squid," Lily said.

The Impediment Jinx was starting to wear off on me. I quickly grabbed my wand in a flash James had a bloody gash the right side of his face. In another flash of light I was hung upside down in the air.

I saw Lily's angry expression, but I really didn't want her to help me. I wanted to show her I could do it by myself and not be embarrassed in front of her.

Lily shouted, "Leave him alone!!!"

"Evans, Don't make me hex you," James replied.

"Take off the curse then," Lily countered.

I saw James comply and muttered a counter-curse. I lay in a heap on the ground, frustrated that I couldn't even defend my self.

I heard James say, "There you go, you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

In my anger and frustration I retort, "I don't need help from filthy mudbloods like her!"

What had I just say? To Lily especially!? My eyes widen in shock and I stare into her hurt eyes. Her eyes grew rigid and said, "Fine, I won't bother you the future. And I'd wash my pants in I were you, Snivellus."

Everything after that was a blur as I watched Lily walk away in haste as I saw the tears that were about to fall. I felt myself raise into the air again, but I didn't care. I hated myself then. I loathed myself for what I had said to Lily. That night as I waited outside for her hoping to apologize, she never came. I waited in the pouring rain, no one saw the rain mix with my tears. Everything was my fault. That was when I decided to become a death eater. Maybe then Lily would be proud of me, maybe then would she forgive me.

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Why had I done that back then? Was I naive or stupid or something? That day mine and Lily's friendship broke. We never meet together again. In the hallways, she ignored me. I tried to apologize, but every try was ignored. She became closer to Potter, and I hated it. I wanted to be the one who smiles at her, talks to her, I wanted to be by her. But I lost my chance, I lost it long ago. I had even thought becoming a death eater would make her want to talk to me. I was wrong, she became even more angrier. I became a worshiper of Lord Voldemort while she married Potter and was in the Order. We became enemies, but I never wanted to hurt her. I stupidly gave Voldemort some of the prophecy and for that Lily died. It was my fault she died, my fault that at true angel perished that day. My only way to repent was to protect her son. The son who looks that Potter, but yet has those eyes of an angel.

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"Lily," I softly said as I stared at a headboard that said R.I.P Here lies Lily Potter.

Just one week ago I had given Lord Voldemort part of the prophecy. I was shocked to find out the prophecy was Lily's son. I saw no harm until I heard yesterday. Lily had died protecting her son. That was just like her, ready to sacrifice her life for someone she cares about. It was completely my fault, my fault, why had I done that. All the happiness in my life had perished forever. The light in my life had dimmed and dies away. Why had I ever done everything I'd done to her!

I stood up from the grave and knew what I could do. I headed towards Hogwarts with a determined force behind me.

I had apparated nearby Hogwarts and I already saw the stares directed at me. I walked all the way to Hogwarts and the stares were glued to me. I knew what they thought, why was Severus Snape, reknown death eater doing at the school. I reached the headmaster's office and said, "Lemon Drops."

The stair case turned and I walked up. When I had gotten to the top Dumbledore sat there waiting as if he knew I was coming all along. But the again, Dumbledore somehow always knew something.

"Professor Dumbledore," I started, 'Please there has to be a way I can repent for what I've done to Lily, Please!"

There was desperation in my voice, I wanted, no I needed to do something.

That day was the last day I believed I was a death eater. I become one of the Order, I also became the Potions Professor. Voldemort believed I was loyal, but for Lily I would do anything. I was prepared to look after Harry, Lily's son. I was ready for anything that got in my way to protect him.

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That day everything changed. My loyalties, my position, my future, my fate, and most of all myself. I knew many did not believe my loyalty to the Order, the only thing that was keeping me there was my love for Lily. My only happiness was the thought of Lily, my Patronus had changed from a snake to a doe. Lily's son, Harry grew quickly. He looked like his father, but his eyes were just like his mother. I had done what I had to repent and I died thinking that Harry would kill Voldemort. He would take my revenge for me, what I had always wanted to do. See the pain in Voldemort's eyes as he dies, so he knows how Lily must've felt when she died.. I repented as much as I could, but I don't think it was enough. I think it's time when I fall to where I belong. I closed my eyes preparing for what was going to happen to me.

"Sev," a soft angelic voice that seemed so familiar voice called out to me.

My eyes fluttered as I look into those emerald green angel eyes I first saw years ago. A gentle smile grazes her lip again. I smile my crooked smile back, and her gentle laughter reaches my ears. I'm in heaven! Even if this wasn't heaven, is if my angel is here, I am in a bliss. As she pulls me toward her, I know for the first time in a long time. I am truly happy.

XD Thank you everyone for reading this one shot I made. This is my 1st one shot and it may be kinda suck, but I tried my best. This may not exactly be like the book, but I put it this way. Hope you enjoyed this fic. Now all you got to do is press that purple button at the bottom and review. Review and make poor Snape smile!