Disclaimer: I do not own Junie B. Jones or anything else listed in this chapter. Here goes nothing!

Chapter 1

Ponies

Friday

Dear first-grade journal,

I am so excited!

'Cause tomorrow is Spring Break!

And me, Mother and Daddy are going to California for my aunt Lilly's aniversuree!

There will be good snacks at that place!

Like cake!

And Ice cream!

And champagne! Only I don't know what kind of dumb bunny dessert champagne is.

I wish the day was over so I could go there already!

From,

Junie B.,

First Grader

P.S. I still wish the day was over.

I put down my pencil and smiled to just myself. 'Cause I was still excited about the party, of course!

With all the cake!

And ice cream!

And the dessert with the name of champagne!

I looked at the clock. It was only dumb 9:26.

"I wish I could go home now so I can pack up for that party," I said to just myself.

Then a girl named Tattletale May shushed at me. She also has the nickname of Shushy-head May.

"You shouldn't disturb others while they are working, Junie Jones!" she said.

I made a mad face at that girl.

"Yeah, only guess what?" I said. "I was talking to just myself. So I am disturbing just myself and that's all.

Then I turned to do my morning work. Only guess what? My teacher walked to the front of the room and said he had a 'nouncement.

A 'nouncement is the school word for shut up because I'm talking up here.

My teacher is named Mr. Scary. He made that name up, I think.

He clapped his loud hands.

"Boys and girls, may I have your attention, please?" he said. "Tomorrow is Spring Break, as you all know, and I was just wondering if any of you would like to tell me what you are going to do over it."

Then all of Room One raised their hands high in the air. 'Cause who wouldn't want to tell someone what they were doing? That's what I would like to know!

Last year, my friend Lucille told me that if I keep secrets inside my head, it'll explode. Her brother told her that.

He is a doctor scientist, I think.

Mr. Scary looked around the room.

"Whoa, looks like I have a lot of choices here! Lets see…. Who's going first…"

Then I jumped up from my seat.

"OOH! OOH!" I hollered. "ME! ME! ME!"

Mr. Scary said Sit down to me.

Then he called on my best friend. His name is Herbert. Only sometimes he's Herb.

Herb smiled very excited. "Over the break, I'm going to New York to visit my uncle! And he has a wife that owns a farm! And there are goats and chickens and roosters and dogs and cats! Only my uncle is afraid of horses and cows. So they don't have them there."

I jumped up again.

"I know why, Herbert!" I shouted. "'Cause horses are close to ponies! And ponies can buck you off of their backs! And stomple you to the ground and kill you to death! I know this from TV! I saw it on real life TV! I saw a million thrillion skadillion ponies buck people off of their backs! And stomple the people to death!"

Then Room One got very loud with all the pony chatter.

A girl named Charlotte said her daddy was bucked of a horse's back. And he had to get a cast for his leg.

A boy named Lennie said he had a pony run loose all around his backyard. It wasn't theirs. So they had to shoo it off.

A girl named Shirley said that a horse that escaped from a trailer ran all over the backyard. And it stompled the decorations to dust.

Then we all looked at Mr. Scary.

HIs head was on his desk. And he was staring out the door.

Then Room One got real quiet. 'Cause Mr. Scary was scaring us.

Hmmm... maybe that's what his name is for.