A/N: I'd like to apologize for the lateness of the next chapter of "Sun Rise." I'm stuck on a fight scene (aka boss fight) with Waka. I'm working on it, and, just like the last ones, I'll post it here when I'm done. It might take a while because I'm working on posting all my fics on my writing blog (mostly Supernatural, but my Naruto and KKM fics will be on there as well). Anyway, hope you enjoy this fic!
Without you, the ground thaws,
the rain falls, the grass grows.
Three months, six weeks, and four days.
That was how long it had been since he and his brother left her behind at that motel. It was hard to believe that, after everything they'd been through together, they'd leave because of the fact she almost died on that vampire hunt.
She felt like one of those girls from those sappy chick flicks he hated watching, always counting the days since their boyfriends broke up with them. There were some she just couldn't stand.
Yet, currently that's what she was.
A real life girl in a sappy chick flick.
Whose thumb always lingered over the call button on her cell phone every night, his name highlighted and his voice only a button push away.
Who couldn't sleep without being woken up by nightmares of different ways he could die without her there.
Who could not even move on and forget about one guy.
But he wasn't just any guy.
Without you, the seeds root,
the flowers bloom, the children play,
the stars gleam, the poets dream,
the eagles fly without you.
He was the guy she willingly went to Hell to save from an eternity of torture.
The guy who she comforted after he had a nightmare about Hell and did the same for her.
The guy who's life she saved on countless occasions.
But, three weeks after the vamp hunt, he'd told her she was practically useless on hunts and that she was nothing but a waste of space that he regretted saving from that shapeshifter. He'd also said he never cared about or trusted her. All before he and his brother left.
Those words broke her faster than Hell ever could. Even thinking about him saying those words, she could feel her heart shatter into a million smaller pieces than before. More tears fell from her eyes at the feeling and the memory of his cold, emotionless face and anger-filled voice saying those words to her when she thought she couldn't cry any longer.
The earth turns, the sun burns,
but I die without you.
His brother had called her three weeks after they left her behind and apologized for what happened, asking if the two of them could still be friends.
She had accepted his apology, but she had said through voice cracks, "Don't apologize for what he said. What's done is done."
That night, she was determined to do something different. She was in a different town, one she didn't know the name of. The closest bar to the motel she was staying in, Macintosh Inn, was within walking distance, called The Red Rat (she laughed humorlessly at the name), and she was determined to spend at least one night not thinking about the moment that tore her apart piece by piece.
Before doing what she had to do. But that could wait one more night.
Without you, the breeze warms,
the girl smiles, the cloud moves.
She knocked back a glass of Dr. Pepper before setting her glass back down on the counter. There was a mirror behind the shelves of alcohol, and she could see how she had changed in the past three months.
Bloodshot eyes.
Washed tearstains on her cheeks.
Dark circles under her eyes.
Wrinkled clothes.
Slightly messed-up hair that she had combed through before coming to The Red Rat.
She looked away from the mirror and looked around the bar. A couple was sitting at a table in the back corner, the woman smiling and laughing at a joke her boyfriend was sharing. A group of guys surrounded the pool table, blocking her view of the game. A group of women sitting at a table farther away from the pool table looked to be having a girls night out.
Needless to say, the place was crowded.
"Rough night?" a voice asked, bringing her focus back to the counter. The voice belonged to a woman with brown eyes, tan skin, and wavy brown hair, up in a ponytail, who looked to be in her mid-thirties. Her nametag identified her as Lucy.
She laughed humorlessly. "Rough couple months, actually," she answered.
"You wanna talk about it, hun?"
Without you, the tides change,
the boys run, the oceans crash,
the crowds roar, the days soar,
She debated the idea for a few minutes before shaking her head. She wasn't one for talking. Guess he rubbed off on her a little too much. "Just the usual stuff. Spend years with a guy and his brother, grow a crush on him, guy smashes your heart and leaves."
Lucy was silent, but she could practically feel the apologetic look on the bartender's face. "That sounds terrible."
"You're telling me, and I went through it. Have been for the past three months."
"Sounds like hell."
She laughed humorlessly at the comparison. "That's the understatement of the year."
"I've heard a bunch of breakup stories ever since I got a job here, but yours takes the cake."
"We weren't dating. At all. No matter how much I wish we were. No matter how much worse it would be for me right now. But he's probably completely forgotten about me."
the babies cry without you.
The moon glows, the river flows,
but I die without you.
"Sounds like you'd do anything for this guy."
"I already have."
"Still, don't worry about paying for your drinks. They're on the house."
"Thanks."
Lucy nodded and walked away to serve another customer. She took another long swig of her soda, feeling slightly better until she heard a familiar deep voice that made her shattered heart freeze and her resolve for putting it off falter.
"'Scuse me, can I get two beers and your number?"
The world revives, colors renew,
but I know blue, only blue,
lonely blue, within me blue
without you.
She heard Lucy hand him the two beers while trying not to react to hearing his voice again. Why was he here? Of all the places to be in the damn country, why here? And this close?
Her hopes rose. Maybe he had found out what she was gonna do and try to stop her.
She could feel eyes on her back before hearing the same voice say, "Come on, Sammy. Get a drink then pick up girls."
She could practically hear Sam's bitch face as all her hopes dropped like a rock. He didn't even recognize her at all. Hell, the her from four months ago wouldn't recognize her even if she was staring herself right in the face. And he was within reaching distance. That was when she made her decision.
"You sit at a table. I'll be there in a few minutes," she heard Sam say before his brother walked over to an empty table. The next sound she heard was one of someone sitting next to her. "Aline?"
Aline turned to face the younger Winchester, a fake smile plastered on her face. "Hey'a Sammy," she greeted.
His jaw dropped in shock at her appearance. "You look like crap."
Aline took a sip of her Dr. Pepper, trying to will her hands not to shake. "Thanks for noticing. Took me three months to look like this."
Without you, the hand gropes,
the ear hears, the pulse beats.
"Is this because—"
"I don't wanna talk about it. Like I told you, what's done is done. Nothing you do could change that. Just...go sit with him. Pretend you never saw me. Besides, I bet he's perfectly fine. He made it perfectly clear how he really feels about me before he left. Even after everything we went through the past few years."
He was silent.
Aline sighed. "Look, I'm really glad I got to see you one more time. I really am."
A look of confusion appeared on his face. "What's that supposed to mean? What are you gonna do?"
"What I have to."
"What are you gonna do?"
She let her eyes flick black before going back to normal, letting him see what she planned. "I don't wanna feel anything anymore, Sammy. I don't wanna feel a damn thing. I can't even function properly anymore. Hearing his voice one more time made my decision final."
His eyes widened in shock before he pleaded, "Don't do this, Ally. Please."
She gave him a kiss on his forehead as she stood up, letting a tear fall from her eye and land on his forehead. "I'm done. I'm just done with being human. Bye Sammy. Next time you see me, I won't care about either of you anymore."
He grabbed her hand, sadness in his eyes. "Please, don't do this."
She shook her head, refusing to look back at him. "I will say this: If he really meant what he said, why didn't he just leave me in Hell? It would've saved him the trouble of watching my so-called useless ass." Her voice cracked on the words.
"He didn't mean it."
She yanked her wrist out of his grip and walked away. He followed her out of the bar, the parking lot empty of people except for the two of them.
"Please, listen to me! He misses you, too. He's just as bad as you are."
She whirled around to face him and shoved him into the wall with her demon powers, glaring at him. "Don't lie to me, Winchester. Don't you fucking lie to me."
"I'm not lying!"
She pulled her knife out of her boot and pressed it to his throat, letting her eyes flash black and growling out, "You are. Stop saying you aren't! I'm getting rid of my stupid humanity tonight! Don't you dare try to stop me."
His eyes were wide with fear. "What are you gonna do if I do?"
It broke her already shattered heart to pieces seeing the fear in Sam's eyes, but she had to let him see that part of her she kept hidden for so long so he'd know what he'd be facing if tonight was gonna go as she hoped. She let her eyes go back to normal before looking him right in the eye and saying, "Tear you apart and kill you."
She removed the knife from his throat and walked away from him without looking back, letting the tears fall. Once she was far enough away from him, she texted to his phone:
You had to know what you're gonna be up against when it happens.
She had to do it tonight. Hearing his voice again when he was just inches away pushed those plans from tomorrow night to tonight. There was no other choice.
Without you, the eyes gaze,
the legs walk, the lungs breathe,
The door was kicked shut behind them. Clothes ripped off piece by piece, thrown random places in the motel room. He pushed her onto the bed and held himself above the brunette by his arms.
Kiss.
Nip.
Bite.
Hands groping milky breasts and twisting like a radio knob, making the girl below him moan.
She returned the favor by pressing her hand on his boxer-covered bulge. He moaned out a name not belonging to the girl beneath him, making her stop.
"What did you call me?" she asked, her voice too high in his opinion.
He didn't say a word to deny what he said. It wasn't the first time something like this happened, and he knew it wouldn't be the last if things kept up this way.
"That's not my name! It's Amy! Not Aline!" She pushed him off her and started picking up her clothes, getting redressed.
He picked up his own clothes as well, also getting redressed. There was an awkward silence between the two of them. During this, he noticed the differences between Amy and Aline. Amy's hair looked two shades darker than Aline's; her eyes were three shades lighter. Amy's personality was even different from Aline's.
Once the two of them were dressed, Amy opened the door and looked back at him.
"Don't you have anything to say to me before I leave you?"
He crossed his arms over his chest before saying, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
Amy glared at him and slammed the door shut behind her.
He sat down on the bed and looked at the calender on his phone.
Three months, six weeks, and four days.
He had no other choice but to do what he did. Even if it meant breaking her like he did.
And he noticed. Dear God, he noticed.
It was hard not to.
Sam even noticed and had given him the shouting of a lifetime on the drive to the next town, calling him every name in the book.
How could he not notice her heart shattering in her eyes as the words left his lips, the endless stream of tears as she begged him to just stay?
Or how she grabbed his hand with two of hers just like when Alastair caught them, searching for some emotion other than the anger and hatred he was forcing himself to show toward her?
His mind flashed back to a night two weeks before that fateful vampire hunt. She'd had a nightmare where he was doing exactly what he didn't know he was gonna do.
"Don't let me go," was what she had begged through tears.
"I promise" was how he had replied.
Yet, two weeks later, after seeing her almost die on that hunt, he was breaking that promise to keep her safe.
He let her go.
There was a part of him that had hoped she would see through his clearly thought out lies and call him out on them, but he knew the words he said to her were the things he said to her in her worst nightmare. Which made what he said to her a hundred times worse.
They'd been through things no normal person could even live through or even come out of without a scratch. Not like they didn't come out without a scratch. They were the only things, besides Sam, keeping each other sane.
Ever since that night, every single girl he picked up either looked somewhat looked like her, had her personality, or her name started with A. Amy had the first and last traits, which caught his eye the moment he sat down to drink his beer and wash his pain away.
the mind churns, the heart yearns,
the tears dry without you.
He couldn't even sleep anymore without drinking himself to unconsciousness with six bottles of whiskey.
The warmth of her body wrapped in his arms had been reluctantly replaced by cold bottles of alcohol.
Don't let me go.
Just then, his phone rang. Sam.
Dean answered it. "What is it, Sammy?" he asked tiredly. He just wanted to grab those whiskey bottles he bought that morning and—
"Aline was at The Red Rat," Sam stated.
Those six words halted his train of thought. "Where was she sitting?"
"At the counter."
"Why didn't you fucking tell me?" he practically shouted, standing up from the bed.
"You'd already left by the time I started talking to her. She's gonna do something drastic, Dean."
"What's she gonna do?"
"She's gonna sell her humanity."
Dean felt his heart drop as he raced out the door and climbed into the Impala, starting her up.
"I'm coming to pick you up and we're gonna stop her."
"No! The nearest crossroad is farther away from The Red Rat. It's closer to the motel. You have to do it."
"Why can't you go, too?" He didn't want Sam to go, but he just wanted to know why.
"She told me she'd tear me apart and kill me if I followed her."
Dean froze. That was a threat she only gave to monsters she left alive. To hear that she said that to Sam made him realize she didn't want to be stopped.
"Get her back, and fix this."
Dean nodded. "Don't worry, I will. I'll call you when she's with me again." He hung up and drove to the crossroad.
Don't let me go.
I won't, I promise. Not this time.
Life goes on, but I'm gone
'cause I die without you,
The box was clutched tightly in Aline's shaking hands as she walked to the middle of the crossroad. She bent down and started digging the hole with her fingers as Dean's words echoed in her mind over and over again, stabbing her with a butcher knife.
The sound of squealing tires hitting the dirt didn't even phase her. Nor did the sound of a car door opening and shutting. Or the heavy footsteps than ran toward her.
But the familiar arms wrapping around her and pulling her up did. So did the fact that those same arms turned her around and let her bury her face in his chest as he ran his rough, calloused fingers through her hair and let the tears fall onto her hair.
"Don't do this. Please," he begged, his voice cracking. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of those things I said to you, Ally. I just...I saw what that fanged bitch did to you and I panicked. I didn't want to lose you. I wanted to keep you safe."
She pushed herself away from Dean's chest, looking him right in the eye as tears fell from her own. "So you decided telling me I was freakin' worthless and a waste of space was your idea of keeping me safe? You hurt me, Dean! Hell, I couldn't leave that motel for six weeks. I felt like freakin' Bella from that shitty Twilight series!"
without you,
Dean kept his mouth shut and let her rant.
"You left me after everything we've been through! Your dad dying, Hell, and now the freaking Apocalypse! You made me wish I couldn't feel a damn thing. I came up with this idea six weeks ago, but I kept putting it off and putting it off because I hoped to God you would find out and maybe try to stop me!"
"I'm stopping you now because I fucking care about you! I can't lose you ever!"
without you,
She pulled herself out of his arms and turned around, resuming her digging of the hole. Dean yanked her up to her feet. That was when she noticed the tears falling from his eyes.
"You becoming a demon counts as me losing you, dammit! I need you!" The moment those words left his mouth, he kissed her.
The box fell from her hands onto the ground, and she wrapped her arms around Dean's neck. The two of them filled that one kiss with all of their need for each other and each other's survival.
There was no other choice but to break it when the need for air overcame them, but they kept their foreheads touching and looked into each other's eyes. Aline saw that Dean had been going through the same emotions she had during those three months, six weeks, and four days.
Now, all the pieces were coming back together again.
"No deals like this. Ever," Dean stated, panting.
"As you wish," Aline answered.
without you.
"Don't let me go," she whispered.
"Never again," he responded without hesitation.