my first uncharacteristic smutty fanfic, inspired by NekyuToi - i swear that guy's mind is permanently in the gutter xX!
--
Barret's Nipple
The gang were gathered at 7th Heaven. Cid was ramming the pinball machine, Barret was checking out his ass, Yuffie was on Tifa's lap, and Aeris was tickling the underbelly of a red-faced Red. Vincent was standing in the corner with his arms crossed sulkily as usual, while Cloud was drowning his sorrows that Yuffie was Lez in a frothy mug of Tifa's best.
Soon, Barret couldn't stand Cid's ass wriggling about any longer, and promptly stood up, walked over, and gave it a hearty smack! Cid cussed, as he usually does, and balancing the ball on a single flipper, took the fag out of his mouth and stubbed it hard into Barret's nipple. Barret shrieked a string of obscenities and backed off, clutching his signed nipple. Barret's shout caused Aeris to accidently poke her fingernail into Red's privates, which naturally caused an unearthly yeowl and Red to streak off, knocking over Tifa's chair. Tifa and Yuffie ended up in a tangle of arms and legs, which suited them just fine anyway.
Cloud barely batted an eyelid and rocked his chair, crossing his booted legs on the table and taking a swig from his mug. Vincent, on the other hand, seemed to be faintly amused, or even turned on by this, and turned into Galian Beast, and licked Red's pierced privates under the table.
Unaware of the chaos he had caused, Barret nursed his nipple awhile, which looked like he was fondling his own tit in public, then advanced towards Cid again. "You fucking gorgeous piece of ass! Won't you rather be playing some other... balls?" He Omphed his waist forwards and backwards attempting to be seductive, but only achieving the effect of a wobbling piglet finding its first legs.
Noting Cid's grim look, Tifa came to the rescue her husband's other nipple, leaving Yuffie moaning softly and sorta.. humping a leg of the fallen chair. "Ya wouldn't fit luver, you don't even fit here" She indicated her black shorts. "But I know to get ya off anyway. She pushed her oversized assets together and rubbed them against each other suggestively."
"Yo, you would fucking rip her pussy apart." Yuffie Kisaragi stopped in her self-pleasuring throes long enough to cheekily comment. "Or in your case, his ass."
"Not that ya blockhead talk your way into his pants anyway." She added under her breath.
Barret heard anyway, and a purple vein throbbed on his neck as he strode towards her. "Well if I fit you young tight wench I'll fit them right?" Yuffie had this startled look and hurriedly tried to poof, but was caught by her wrist, spun around and given a fierce kiss while Barret pressed her against him. She bit down and tasted blood.
Just then Marlene and Denzel skipped in hand in hand. They froze, looking at Barret and Yuffie. There was a stunned silence all round, then the kids caught each others eye and went "Barney and Kissy sitting in the tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" They giggled madly and stampeded up the stairs to do whatever a little boy and a little girl do in a room.
Barret recovered enough to shout "Ya lil' Brats!'' Then quietly. "Phew. Close one." Yuffie nodded. She was thankful in a way. She'd MUCH rather be caught kissing then masturbating by the kids.
xxxooo
deli