The contact was casual; just barely the brush of a palm across her hip, fingers of a second hand trailing over her shoulder as they passed her in the hallway. She stalled, concerned when she actually felt their touches. Two handsome boys merely turned their heads to smirk and wink in her direction and mouth 'See you at the club' before continuing down the hallway.
'Puzzled' was not an adequate word for describing what she felt at that moment. So many times in her past had she been able to simply brush off the opposite sex, even to the degree that she did not mind being mistaken as male, but now she was seeing differences.
Like how Tamaki's idiocy was actually endearing. As in, the way Kyoya's little smirks managed to make her blush. In the way that she felt her breath hitch a bit when Hikaru and Kaoru paid her so much physical attention. She had gotten to the point where she dreamed of all them in very inappropriate manners.
She knew that this situation had to be a punishment of some sort for a horrible deed she had committed. Maybe this was for all the times she had turned people down and acted naïve and innocent about it. Perhaps they were tests for her in the grand scheme of life. If she could just get past them, then she would succeed.
Every day, she felt a little less capable of living without them, and that scared her. Haruhi knew that, if she so wished, she could probably be with both Hikaru and Kaoru, and maybe if it was proposed in the correct way, she could have Kyoya and Tamaki, but that just would not cut it.
She could not have just one or two of them.
Haruhi also knew that even if they agreed, none of these relationships was actually possible (especially since technically, those types of unions were illegal). The society her boys were part of would never accept arrangements like that (here, she could not help but hear Tamaki's voice supplying the phrase ménage a trios). These boys each deserved a girl who could love only him with the entirety of her heart, and Haruhi's was divided in four equal portions.
She sighed a perfect imitation of Tamaki's woe-is-me reaction and began slowly walking toward the music room.
All the halls were empty now, the other students off to engage in ridiculously pointless displays of status and wealth, so Haruhi hummed to herself as her emotions tumbled about in her mind.
She stopped in front of the door and wondered what she would find today. Every day, she did this, hoping to give herself a little more time to attempt to create a simple solution to her dilemma. Also, it gave her a moment to brace herself for their insanity.
She could just leave right now and offer to pay Kyoya off another way (though she doubted he would actually consent to her release from an 'agreement' he saw as binding as a blood contract). She could walk out of that building and never see any of them again. Of course, this game plan would never get off the ground because she needed Ouran to achieve her goals.
And she needed the Host Club even more than that.
Resigned to a fate that she knew would always be confusing, Haruhi reached for the handle. A chorus of greetings filled her ears as her vision was flooded with those floating rose petals (which, as always, came from nowhere).
Haru-chan!
Haruhi!
Daughter! (Her eyebrow twitched. She did not care if she loved him; she still got random urges to drown him.)
Rolling her eyes in exasperation, she put on her best 'natural' grin and walked through the doorway.