Disclaimer: I don't own any "Charmed" characters. They belong to Aaron Spelling and others. I don't own the song either – it belongs to Celine Dion and whoever else it belongs to. However this songfic and does belong to me. It's the only thing I own, so don't sue me.
Summary: A songfic in Cole's point of view about what he felt after "Sleuthing with the Enemy." Sort of Phoebe/Cole – my usual. The song is called "I Surrender" by Celine Dion.
Author Notes: I just decided to try my luck at writing songfics. This is the very first one I've ever tried writing. By the way, I decided to pick a Celine Dion song because she's definitely one of my very favorite singers and I just love this song among many others.
I Surrender
By: True Love Lives Forever
It's been 1 month since the last time I saw Phoebe. I knew that that moment was going to come sooner or later, though as more and more time passed and the two of us became closer I wished with all my heart that she would never find out who I am. Belthazor. I used to love it when somebody called me by that name; I cherished the fear that the name stroked in the people and demons that stood before me. But now, I just wish that I was Cole, just simply Cole Turner with no Belthazor lurking around in my soul. If it hasn't been for Belthazor, Phoebe and I might be together right now, sharing the evening and spending it together as the two of us would cuddle together. But no, that's not happening. Right now all I have left of her are the memories from what little time we spend together. Now I just have to make sure that it's not the last and only time that we have spent with each other.
There's so much life I've left to live
And this fire is burning still
When I watch you look at me
I think I could find the will
To stand for every dream
And forsake this solid ground
And give up this fear within
Of what would happen if they ever knew
I'm in love with you
The Underworld already knows that I'm in love with Phoebe, a witch, someone that's supposed to be my mortal enemy. But instead, I'm in love with her and I know they will never forgive me for that. For my whole life I've been trying to get in the good graces of the Source, to be his right hand and I have accomplished that through the years. But now I have betrayed the Source, the Triad, and just the whole damn Underworld for love. For Phoebe's love. The only good thing that's ever happened to me in the past century and I am not going to lose it, not now and not ever.
I now know that I've never truly lived until I met her and I want to continue living, with her. I love her so much that I never thought possible before to love anybody. She opened my heart and got inside of it not caring if she was invited or not. But I'm glad she did so. And now, I'm not going to give up on us no matter what anybody thinks. I didn't live when I was an assassin for the Source, I just existed somewhere in space, doing the only thing I knew how to do – kill. Kill everyone I laid my eyes upon without thinking. But that's not who I am anymore. That was what Belthazor did, but not me and I won't let him continue, I won't let him ruin what is left of my life. I have to get Phoebe back and I'll do anything I can to accomplish that.
'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Maybe Phoebe won't be too thrilled about us getting back together after all I've put her through, well, at least definitely not Prue and Piper along with Leo. Prue would simply not understand anything about us. But I do love Phoebe and I'll do anything that I have power over to help us get another chance. To get her to give me another chance and to do that I'll have to let go of my past and start a human life. I'll give up the demonic way of living that I used to lead for over a century. I want to be with Phoebe and that's the only way that we can be together – for the both of us to be good, not evil.
I know I can't survive
Another night away from you
You're the reason I go on
And now I need to live the truth
Right now, there's no better time
From this fear I will break free
And I'll live again with love
And no they can't take that away from me
And they will see
God, I miss her so much. Right now, I don't have anything to hold onto except for the memories of when we were together when Phoebe still thought I was just an ADA. I can remember so well when I held her in my arms and we kissed each other passionately. I know I will never forget those moments, the happiest moments of my life.
Even though we knew each other for only 2 months, I feel as if I knew her for so much longer, maybe even for an eternity. Yet, at the same time, it feels as if we only got a chance to barely know each other. The time when we were together seems just too far away. I just wish that we'll get back together again this very moment, but I know I can't just appear in the manor and say how I feel, her sisters will never believe that. Besides, doing that would be like dropping a bomb on everyone's head since, first of all, everybody thinks that I'm dead and I don't want Phoebe to get into trouble because of me. I'll have to figure out a way how to talk with her first.
'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
Of course we will have challenges together. But we can overcome them all once we're together. After all, love does conquer all. It's strange right now because if somebody told me that love conquers all just a little over 3 months ago, I would have laughed in the person's face and probably stabbed whoever it was later as a way to prove my point. I didn't believe in anything like that before. Yep, and that just proves how much Phoebe has changed me in such a short amount of time. Now I am a completely different person who also thinks differently as well – all thanks to the love of my life, all thanks to my dear Phoebe.
Every night's getting longer
And this fire is getting stronger, babe
I'll swallow my pride and I'll be alive
Can't you hear my call?
I surrender all
The more I've been away from Phoebe, the more I can't wait to see her again. Thousands of times I've been thinking of shimmering into her room just to see her sleep and I've actually done that a couple of times, but that's still not the same as talking with her, seeing her lovely smile and the way her hair flies in the wind, and just simply hearing her laugh. I guess it's the small things that you miss about the woman of your dreams. But still, seeing her sleep is better than not seeing her at all, though I've always stayed for just a couple of minutes since I don't want some bounty hunter to track me down to her room. I don't want to put her into danger because of me. And no matter how much I've wanted to wake her up so that we can talk, I didn't because I don't know what to say. I don't think that 'Hey, long time no see" would be an appropriate phrase to use. Actually, I might even scare her and she might somehow attract her sisters' attention by screaming or something while still being sleepy, getting us both into trouble, especially her for lying and I don't want that, not anymore. I've done too much against the sisters already and doing that would just kill any chance Phoebe and I might have in the future.
'Cause I'd surrender everything
To feel the chance to live again
I reach to you
I know you can feel it too
We'd make it through
A thousand dreams I still believe
I'd make you give them all to me
I'd hold you in my arms and never let go
I surrender
I just want to hold her in my arms forever and for always, never letting go. Right now that's impossible, but hope dies last, you know, so there's still hope for us. I have to prove to everyone, the sisters and Leo, that I love Phoebe with all my heart, though knowing Prue, she would probably have a retort such as "You don't even have a heart." We can't be together if Phoebe's family doesn't accept me, which is definitely a slim chance for that happening, but there is no other way. I have to somehow win their trust again, though for Prue's case, it's for the first time. If I don't get their trust while Phoebe and I tried our luck again, I know that she would always think that eventually she would have to choose between her family and me, and that would tear her heart apart with every coming day. I don't want her hurting over me ever again. I know how much she loves her family and having their blessings would mean the world to her. So that means there's only one way. I absolutely have to prove that I have changed for good to the whole entire family. The question is, how?
Right here, right now
O give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything, I surrender all to you
Right here, right now
O give my life to live again
I'll break free, take me
My everything, I surrender all to you
Yes, I know! I'll use the trick I learned from the Demon of Illusion. I'll appear to Phoebe and ask for a meeting where we can talk by ourselves first and then we'll find a way to get back together and I'll see what I can do about the whole trust issue in the family. I love her and I need her. This will be my very first step and it had better work, otherwise I don't know what to do. I can't keep away from her any longer. The distance between us is killing me and I guess what I've heard before is true, the distance does make the heart grow fonder (for him anyway).
Hmm, my heart has completely surrendered to you, Phoebe. For the first time in my life, I have surrendered to love. I'll see you soon, my dear Phoebe.
So, how was it? What did you guys think about it? It's actually my very first songfic and I know it turned out quite silly or something like that, but still, please, review though don't bother sending flames. Nobody needs flames anyway and that includes me.