Ok...Just To Say This I don't Own Any Of This! I Don't Even Own The Story! Nor The Characters Ok?
This story has all the main character's gender switched.
They look like what the do on the gender bended hare hare yukai by Nico Nico Douga.
Go watch it now on youtube!!
The Melancholy of Haruki Suzumiya episode 1
(Gender Bended Version Of the anime.)
Asking how long someone believed in "Santa Claus" is meaningless and stupid and not even worth as gossip. If you ask me how much time I spent in my childhood believing in a fat, over weight, red garbed old man I would say...I never. I knew the Santa at preschool was a fake. Not that I saw mommy kissing Santa, it was that a little cute kid who thought a man who only worked
once a year would never existed. Be it, time travelers, aliens, espers, demons, ghosts, evil organizations and the heroes from anime and manga that fight the evil organizations were also fake as well. I had probably realized it before, but...I never wanted to admit it. However, deep inside me some where, I wanted them to be real, but reality sucks. One might think how the laws of physics was wrote in our world. Soon I had stopped watching those prediction shows and UFO specials.
Aliens. Time travelers. Espers. None of them could EVER exist. sigh I wish they just did.
So as I accept reality, I think I've matured.
As we look at my new high school, since the times of all my childish dreams, I've scraped those dreams in a dark corner of my brain. When I entered this school, with no particular vision in my mind, thats when I met him.
"My name is Haruki Suzumiya," he said. "I have no interests in ordinary humans." What?
"If any of you are aliens, espers, or time travelers, please come see me. That is all!"
That is all? Did you even notice what you just said? dramatic poses of cameras There stood an one handsome figure. As he looked around I just gaped my mouth. As we all stared at him as he sat. down. Most people think he was kidding, but one thing you should know about him, he never kids around. That was the first time I met Haruki and I deeply hoped it was a coincidence.
QUE OPENING!!
As long as Haruki was quit and not a bother behind me, he was as normal as an average guy, which he's not. And since my seat was in front of his, I guessed I was approachable. You can't expect my curiosity to wear on me did you?
"Hey um...what you said at the introduction earlier," I said,"Did you really mean all of it?"
"What do you mean?" he responded
"The stuff about alien and stuff."
"What are you one of them?"
"Um no"
"No what?"
"Um...Just forget it."
"Then don't say anything. It's a waste of my time."
TO THE CAFETERIA!!
"Why are you interested in him! Not me!" Tanagunchi stated.
"I'm not interested in him!" I sharply responded.
"I just say you should quit at it."
"I don't like him!!"
"I'm saying' just don't mince words. I was in the same class as him for 3 years. He's stranger than an alien. Haruki did lots of strange stuff in middle school."
"Yeah like what?'
"The campground graffiti."
"What?"
"Haruki stole one of those chalk-line drawers and drew a weird symbol on the ground with it."
"Yeah I've heard of it." Kunikida said. I totally forgot he was there.
"So he did it?" I spoke.
"Yeah he even admitted it"
"And One morning we found all the desks out in the hall."
"I saw Haruki throw a ball at the rooftop and disappeared."
"He drew stars on the roof with paint, stuck a bunch of talismans around the school Don't even know why. But he's very popular. Most girls fall for him. Very athletic and good grades. You couldn't tell that he was a freak if he was just standing there."
"Are there anymore stories?" Kuni said(nickname for Kunikida).
"It just keeps on going. He has the shortest dating period. Any girl that has the guts to go ask him out, he says yes to all of them, but ends up in a break up."
I stare at him.
"What? It's just a rumor! But I'm warning you, go out with him and it'll be as quick as snap. Or you could go out with me and it'll last till we are as old as dirt!"
"I think I'll pass." I said.
"What?!"
TO THE OUTSIDE THINGY!! SCENE!!
As we see a guy running by Tanagunchi starts talking again.
"There Ryoka goes. Enemy number 1!"
"Why is that?" I asked.
"Well, I rated all the good looking, smart, athletic guys from 1-10. the higher the number, the more likely to date you."
"Wow."
"Impressive huh?"
"No. Pathetic."
Tanagunchi dramatically falls
As soon as he sat down it was Haruki's turn to run and man was he fast! Most of us were surprised.
But at this point,Haruki has yet to acted up, as for me it was 1 month of relaxation. But however, there were numbers of Haruki's eccentric behaviors.
1)Different headband each day. Monday-yellow, Tuesday-red, Wednesday-blue,Green on Thurs. Fri.-gold.
2)Boys and girls split up for gym class. Girls change in even and boys odd. I just had to be in an odd room. When its time for girls to go, Haruki just starts unbuttoning his pan-...going on!
I say Haruki sees all regular humans as rocks.
3)Haruki is amazing at sports I might say. He would join every club there was...then leave them...
on the same day. Sports clubs followed her trying to have him join, but frankly, he never joined one club.
Going on past the first day after golden week...
"Hey! Kyonko!" Tanagunchi said.
"Hey."
"What you do over the break?"
"I took my bro to my grandma's house."
"Lame."
"Not as lame as your pick-up lines."
"Some day you will fall for me!"
"In another world that is."
"GAHH!"
TO SCHOOL!!
As I looked at his head band it was blue.
"So it's Wednesday." I said
Somehow I had myself wanting to talk to him.
"Do you wear those headbands as an alien countermeasure or some thing?"
I talked to him. Wow.
"So when did you notice?"
"Hmm Just recently."
"Oh. I think each day has an image to it. I guess. Monday-Yellow," Wow a full complete answer.
"Tuesday-Red, Wednesday-Blue, Thursday's Green, Friday-Gold, Saturday-Brown and Sunday's white."
"So by the numbers, Monday's zero and Sunday's 6?"
"Yep."
"But, Monday feels like 1 to me."
"Who cares about your opinion."
Stare...
"Have I met you somewhere before?"
"No."
This was a trigger, nothing but a trigger. He used a full answer for once. That's a trigger to me.
He usually says,"Gah.- I don't care.-Who Cares". Or something at least he's not rude.
That's when the next few days, he wasn't wearing his headbands, just the gold one.
After that, chatting with Haruki was a daily thing.
"I've heard that every girl who asked you out, you dumped them is it true?" I said.
"Is that you business? But it's probably true."
"Not one girl you were interested in?"
"Nope. All girls too normal, they all mess with their hair, put on make-up and ALL were just normal humans. All normal people are useless.."
Wow.
"Middle school was irritating."
"Then what would you date?"
"Alien, Time traveler or espers."
"What's up with you and non-humans?"
"So it makes life more interesting!!"
TO MIDDLE OF SCHOOL DAY!!
As I looked over, Haruki was leaving the classroom. I wonder why?
"I KNEW YOU WERE INTERESTED IN HIM!" Tanagunchi said.
"I am not!" I shouted.
"Well, that was the longest time I've heard I'm talk!"
"Huh?"
"What you say to him?"
I just asked him what was on my mind nothing wrong there.
"It's the end of the world."
"Kyonko is always getting into the weird ones." Kuni said walking up to us.
"I don't like him!"
"I'd also like to know." Ryoka said behind me. "I would want Haruki to be friends with us. Maybe
Play football or something. So is there a trick to talk to him or something?"
"I don't know."
"Well I'm happy your his friend."
"I am not his friend."
"Well just keep at! I hope he opens up to the rest of us!"
"If we need his help, we'll just tell you and you can tell him!"
"...HEY! I'm not a messenger!"
A FEW DAYS LATER!!
So after that we had to change seats. I got the one next to a window. Pretty cool. And not in front of Haruki. Bye Bye. Hehe. Until I saw him sitting behind me.
"So what clubs are good at this school." I asked him.
"None."
Wow an immediate answer.
"I thought clubs got better as the schools went on! I was wrong."
"What about those mystery investigation clubs?"
"All a joke. What do you think?"
"Nothing really."
"Man It's so boring around here!! With all those clubs you'd think at least one weird one!"
"You can't expect that you know. People always in vent things that aren't there. Like planes and cars and-"
"STUT UP!"
Rude maybe?
Just maybe I gave the idea off of this talk.sighI happened suddenly. He pulled my ponytail.
PULL!
"OW!! Let go!" I screamed. I knew who it was. Haruki Suzumiya.
"I know what to do now!" He said.
"Just let go!" He had let go of my hair.
"I'm gonna make a club myself!"
"Sure, but can this wait till class ends?"
I showed him how everyone was staring at us. Then we sat down.
"LET GO OF MY HAIR!" I shouted as we ran trough the hallway, up the stairs to the top room
"Okay," He said, "We're gonna make a club!"
"Let go of my hair and what do you mean, 'we'?"
"WE are gonna make a club."
"I think you dragged me up here just to seduce me."
"I'll get the room and members, You do the paperwork."
"Did you even here me?"
"Do it or it's the death penalty!!"
LATER TODAY!!
"NOT AGAIN OW!!" I screamed. While he dragged me through the hallway. We entered a room in the old building a their sat a guy.
"This is our new clubroom!!" Haruki said.
"Where are we?"
"The literary Clubroom! All the third-years graduated so left is this guy! He joined so the club wouldn't be cut."
"Yuuki Nagato" The guy said.
"Is it Okay with you that we use this clubroom?"
"Yes."
"Even if we kick you out?"
"Sure."
"He said it was okay!" Haruki said. "All he wants is a place to read and it's fine."
I sighed.
"Okay. You have to meet in this room after school every day or the death penalty!"
"I understand"
And so the next day..
"Go on ahead to the clubroom. There's business I need to take care of.." Haruki said and he walked off.
As I waited in the clubroom I asked questions to Yuuki.
"Soo What ya reading?" He showed me the book.
"Is it good?"
"Unique"
"Okay. You like books a lot right?"
"It's okay."
As we were talking Haruki entered the room.
"Sorry it took so long! I had to persuade him to come! Meet Mitsuuru Asahina!"
"Um Hi?" He said. He looked like he was about to wet his pants.
Ca-Chink!
"Wait! Why are you locking the door?!" I said.
"Reasons a minor doesn't need to know."
"Well, Where did he come from anyways?"
"I caught him sleeping on his desk and I persuaded him to come with me."
"Well why her?"
"He was the only guy I could find. Plus we need a mascot character!"
"A what?"
"Look at him! Most guys his age are bigger than him and if we put him in a costume, all girls will be 'Look how cute he is.' See?" No I don't. And YOU!"
"What, why me?"
"Your here cuz You gave me the idea."
"Why are you telling me this"
"I thought your nagging mind would want to know." I'm not saggy. "We also need a Moe character!"
"What?!"
"Your the only girl out of us 3" Yuuki is in the club as well? "and every team of sorts has a Moe character."
"Okay I get that part," sorta.
"So are you the literary club?" Huh.
"It says it outside. And I'm wondering what the literary club does."
"We aren't the literary club." Haruki stated.
"We borrowing this room for a while." I said. "The club we're in doesn't have a name or anything. I don't even know what we do here. The person over there is the real literary club member." I pointed to Yuuki.
"Hey don't worry! I came up with a name!"
"So what's the name gonna be?"
Woo. The name of the mystery club has been decided. Lets listen in.
"It's gonna be called...The SOS BRIGADE!!"
Saving the world by
Over loading it with fun with
Suzumiya Haruki's
Brigade
Or SOS BRIGADE for short
Feel free to laugh till your lungs burst.
sigh the club that has a LOL name that doesn't know what we're gonna do next. A first at this school. Oh joy.
ENDING DANCE AND CREDITS!!
So the first of a 14 chapter story. Hope you enjoy waiting for the next one!
It is not gonna come soon.