2409 AD December 22nd

USS Ra Cailum

Captain's log, USS Ra Cailum, Stardate 86973.2.

Well, it's that time of year again across the Federation. Christmas Eve at long last. With everything going on the whole task force hasn't been together, but the Admiral cleared our schedules so we can attend this… Christmas party Jaden's hosting on the Yorktown. Apparently he's very big on Christmas… but Ish won't give me any further details than that. Just that we gotta… see it to believe it.

The last christmas I attended was on ESD back in '85, just before the Enterprise was meant to be scrapped thanks to that son of a bitch Khan and before I was given the Ptolemaeus.

Since then, we haven't been able to celebrate, seeing as every time we had the opportunity, we were in combat. Assholes. Well, with the end of the war and me being given a new ship, might as well celebrate. Cassie wanted to talk to me too at the party. Guess I'll find out on Jaden's ship.

Ronald Pinkerton was not one to believe in the commercialized christmas. He believed in the older one: where it was a gathering of family and friends to celebrate. Still, there was something to be said about the idea of Santa Claus.

"Should be there in about five more minutes," Ishmael said. "Been awhile since we had a get-together like this… "

"You still won't tell us why you're being so… cryptic about Jaden and christmas," Riza said at the Helm.

Ishmael chuckled. "If he did what I think he's gonna do, I sure as hell ain't spoiling the surprise." he said.

The new Odyssey-Class dreadnought came alongside the USS Yorktown, which was being used as the new hub for the operations for Ron's task force after Jaden moved to the Valkyrie, his new Jupiter-Class carrier. Still, it was a Connie.

There was something to be said about a Connie. "I thought he'd hold this on the Valkyrie."

"She's still under repair after that bullshit at Qo'nos. The Yorktown's still good to go."

"Still…" Corpsa said, as they moved closer to the ship. "I don't see what's so… huh?" Suddenly the exterior of the Yorktown began to shimmer as if it were cloaked…. And appearing in its place was still a Connie… only…

"What… the… fuck?" The Yorktown was now entirely painted over, with red, green, and white stripes, along with massive christmas lights, decorations, and decals of reindeer, elves and various other christmas symbols. And right on top of where the bridge would be… was a Christmas tree.

"MERRY MOTHERFUCKING CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!" Jaden shouted across an open comm.

Ron actually laughed, while the non-humans looked horrified. "What the fuck did he DO to that ship?!"

"That's what I call festive!"

Takeshi Yamato flew the Firestorm towards the Connie, jaw on the deck. "You have gotta be SHITTING me."

Lunamaria Yamato (nee Hawke) shook her head. "Nope. That's real. How he DID that is another story."

"Jeez," Takeshi remarked. "I know a lot of people go overboard for Christmas, but this is something else!"

Takeshi, himself, didn't celebrate the traditional Christmas. Neither did he celebrate the commercialized modern version. Instead, on the Firestorm, like the Raging Tempest before it, the Japanese version of Christmas was celebrated… and Japanese Christmas was a lot more like the traditional Valentine's Day, a day to spend with your significant other (or others, if you somehow were able to manage that).

"The Ra Cailum's pulling alongside the starboard side. My GOD, look at the size of that monster." Takeshi had seen two other Odyssey-Class starships before: the original Odyssey and the Enterprise-F, the latter of which Ron commanded during Operation Return.

"We'll pull along the port side. Hopefully nothing's overblown on board."

After the Ra Cailum and Yorktown docked, the airlock opened allowing the crew into the Yorktown… and the story on the outside was identical inside. The halls were decked with strings of lights, smaller trees, ornaments, tinsel, Fresh poinsettias, fresh Garland, stockings and candles. There was even artificial snow spread out across the floor as well, the air being cool enough to deliver the christmas feeling without being uncomfortable - with Christmas tunes singing in the air from Jingle Bell Rock and beyond. But most notably were the uniforms… gone were most of the standard Starfleet uniforms… now everyone was wearing Santa coats, elf uniforms and so on. From humans to aliens, everyone seemed to be in the Christmas spirit in full force. Even the Klingons, Romulans, and Remans.

The. KLINGONS. ROMULANS. AND REMANS.

Sonja laughed at the sight. "This is MADNESS!"

"Welcome to Christmas, Sonja. Let's go find Jaden." They walked through the halls, Ron infinitely amused. "I haven't seen anything like this in years!" Then he spotted a sight he thought he'd never see. "T'vrell, is that you?"

"Merry Christmas!" T'Vrell shouted, smiling as she wore the traditional green and red Santa's elf uniform, with the hat and everything. "As you can clearly see… Jaden went overboard with the Christmas theme, not that anyone's really complaining!"

"You don't see me bitching. Where's Santa himself?"

"Probably in the holodeck," She answered, "A bunch of kids from the crew's family came for the party too… I think he's reading the Night before Christmas to them right now."

"Ok, enjoy the party. I'm going to go find him." The smile did not leave his face before he left the group behind, Cassie pressing her fingers together. Sonja facepalmed. "Really?" "Come on, Sonja, I've been working on confessing to him for over eight months! I'm nervous!"

"Look, just talk to him!" She spotted her commander laughing down the corridor. "…after he deals with the Santa of the day."

Ron opened the holodeck doors, shaking his head at the simulated environment. It was a classical wooden house with a massive christmas tree right up front, a fireplace up and running, a small train set around the tree itself, and sitting right there in front of a crowd of children of various races was Jaden D. Takeo, dressed in a full Santa outfit, beard and all with a book in hand.

"…He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle." He read out loud. "But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"" The children clapped as he finally closed the book, as he let out a damn accurate 'ho ho ho' afterwards, before passing out small little gifts to the children.

Ron entered their line of sight. "Remember kids, be good. Santa won't give away gifts to bad children." One looked at the Rear Admiral, glaring at him. "Santa doesn't exist." Ron glared right back, but worse. "Anything is possible. Come on, kids, I need to talk to your storyteller. Get going!"

"Ah, but he does." Jaden said, causing the others to all look at him. "I know for a fact he does,"

"That's what all the adults say," the Kid said.

Jaden chuckled, shaking his head, "True, but I'm telling you here and now… Santa does exist," He admitted, "Saw him with my own two eyes I did when I was your age. Haven't stopped believing since."

"Told you," A Bolian girl said, nudging one of the Romulan kids.

"So remember kids," Jaden said, standing up. "You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout - I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!"

"You heard the man! Come on, git!" The children ran off, Ron shaking his head. "You honestly believe Santa exists?"

"Damn straight," Jaden nodded once the kids were out of earshot. "Saw him when I was just eight years old… never stopped believing in him since. The way he moved, talked… hell even the way he appeared up and down the chimney… I was never so certain of anything in my life. That was him."

"I'm a scientist. I doubt his existence. But by the same token, I doubt the doubts of his existence. There's just no evidence either way. If you say you saw him, you saw him. That's it."

"Well at least you didn't laugh at me," Jaden sighed, "Kids at school made fun of me 'cause I still believe… even up to Starfleet Academy." He then shrugged. "Not much I can do… only proof is what I saw with my own eyes."

"Does Takeshi know?"

"Yeah… he's tried to convince me I just saw one of my parents or something," He shook his head. "But I know it wasn't them… it was the real deal, Ron."

"Well, I'm not going to bother trying to convince you otherwise. At least you got one of your girlfriends in an elf outfit."

"Oh, PLEASE don't start."

Ron chuckled. "I just did. Figured I'd thank you. Haven't had anything like this in over 8 years, not since the whale bullshit back in '86." (Keep in mind Fleet Killer Ron and his crew are temporally displaced.)

Jaden smirked. "Eight years?"

"Not since the Ptolemaeus was launched."

"Jeez, Jaden, I know you're into Christmas, but this is nuts!" Takeshi remarked as he came around the corner. "I at least hope Ryoko-nee has set aside some time to celebrate with you in the fashions we were raised with."

"Meh, I do that - but this is much more fun!" Jaden smirked. "Gotta make it look perfect for Santa!"

Takeshi sighed. "You're still going on about that?" he asked. "Jaden, for the last time, Santa Claus is. Not. Real. I know you keep saying you saw him, but seriously, it had to be one of your parents."

"Captain, give it up. Consider that an order. There's no evidence either way—"

"Ra Cailum to Admiral Pinkerton."

Ron pulled out his communicator (Takeshi: You SERIOUSLY still use that?! I thought we got rid of that thing!) and flipped it open. "Pinkerton here."

"Boss, we're picking up something approaching the ship. It's… well…"

"Spit it out, Ensign."

"It's… a sleigh."

The three Captains all blinked. "Come again?"

"It's… a red sleigh… with eight reindeer." Sonja reported.

Jaden was frozen in place for a solid second… before he mashed his commbadge. "Ra Cailum bridge, three to, NOW!" he shouted.

All three disappeared and rematerialized on the Ra Cailum's bridge. "I'm never going to get used to having a transporter platform on the bridge. Report!"

A Romulan exchange officer looked back at the three, not commenting on Jaden's attire. "We picked it up a minute ago. For a second, I thought it was a sensor glitch, then a prank. THEN we looked out your ready room window."

"There is literally a sleigh, hanging 150 kilometers off our bow?"

"100 and closing, but yes."

"Okay, see if we can-" Ron began to say, before suddenly the bridge felt rather chilly… before out of nowhere a gust of wind came through carrying snow which spun around like a Tornado. It remained for a moment, until appearing from it was…

"…Richard… Ralph… Randy… Ron? Looking for a Ronald Pinkerton here?"

Everyone blinked at a sight no one thought they ever would see. Standing right in front of them was a pair of humanoids with Vulcan/Romulan-like pointed ears, both wearing a uniform which looked identical to what T'Vrell was wearing earlier. The first - a male - holding some sort of paper list in his hands, looking around the bridge. "Ronald Pinkerton anybody? How 'bout a Jaden Takeo or Takeshi Hamato?"

Ron raised his hand. "Ronald Pinkerton. Rear Admiral, at the moment, Ronald Peter Albert Pinkerton. You've found all three of us, and it's Takeshi Yamato, by the way."

The male looked at Ron. "Right, been a few hundred years since we had you on the list. Sorry bout that."

"It's… fine. Why are you looking for us, might I ask?"

"You're… you're Santa's elves…" Jaden muttered with wide eyes. "Y-You… You're…"

"Real?" The second one, a female, asked with a smirk. "Sure are, Jaden. Oh, and Hamato?"

"Its Yama-"

*TWAK*

"GAH!" Takeshi recoiled as a chunk of coal was tossed into his face.

"That's for trying to convince people we don't exist, dammit!" the woman growled. "We have a hard enough time finding kids who believe in us nowadays!"

"Uhhh… who the hell are you two, and why are you here?" Ron asked, even though he was holding in chuckles as Takeshi rubbed his face.

"Name's Cherry Angelbell, and the brute over there is Bling Busltebell." The woman informed, "Yes, We're the big guy's helpers, and according to his list you three are on top of his nice list… so we came to you for help."

Jaden blinked. "Wait… help for what?"

"Santa's been kidnapped, and some bitch stole the North Pole," Bling growled. "Top of the naughty list… know someone named Sela?"

"Goddamn it, I thought the Iconians dealt with her!"

"She got away. Don't know how, don't care; all we know is that she got her hands on the Pole."

Ron pinched the bridge of his nose. "How can someone steal the magnetic pole of a planet? Or am I misunderstanding something here?"

"No no, not that north pole," Cherry shook her head. "The real North Pole! It's a device Santa's been using to deliver all the gifts to the good boys and girls across the galaxy!"

"It's a time-space altering unit," Bling informed. "It allows him to freeze time around him so he can spend all the time in the universe to deliver the presents. It also functions like a super-replicator so he can create whatever he needs on the spot. So far she hasn't used it yet, but if the Remans manage to get in Santa's head and get the codes-"

Suddenly there was a loud CRACK as everyone turned to Jaden, his eyes twitching as his fist had punched through a console. "…no one… I mean NO ONE. Fucks. With. CHRISTMAS! WHERE IS SHE?!"

"Antarctic System, galactic core," Cherry informed, tossing Ron a datadisc. "Those will get you past the orbital defenses and give you the location. Have no idea how Sela got in, but right now we need to get back there so we can kick her out of the Workshop! Mrs. Claus can't hold e'm back forever!"

"Beam our crews back to their ships. Jaden, seeing as the Valkyrie's not going anywhere, I'll have you on board the Ra Cailum. Takeshi, tell your crew—"

"No, I'll use Yorktown," Jaden stated, causing Ron to blink. "She's suited up and ready, and my crew's all onboard anyways."

"Nice paint job by the way," Cherry commented.

"Ahhh, heh, thanks… enough of that," he tapped his combadge. "T'Vrell, put the ship on yellow alert."

"Why?"

"Because we're about to go and save Christmas!"'

"…WHAT?"

"Don't ask, just do as you're told, Commander. Takeshi, get back to the Firestorm."

Takeshi rubbed his face. "No need to tell me twi—" TWACK! "OW!"

"That's for having no doubts to your doubts! You're a fucking scientist! Doubt everything! Even your doubts!"

Luna looked at Takeshi's face. "What the hell happened to you?"

Takeshi sighed. "Long story," he said. "I'll tell you later. Right now, we've got something really crazy going on."

"Ok, where are we going?"

"Somewhere in the galactic core. Ron'll use that… what'd he call it again?"

"Slipstream. Something he picked up in another universe."

"Yeah, that. He'll use that to get us to the core."

Luna hated that mode of FTL. "I'm going to puke by the end of this rail trip."

"Better strap in, then," Takeshi said, even as he secured safety restraints at the helm seat. "Hopefully that'll keep you from throwing up… unless we have another little one on the way."

"All ships, slave navigational systems to the Ra Cailum." The Yorktown entered formation with the superdreadnought before the Firestorm came alongside, the big ship's deflector glowing.

"Brace for slipstream!"

The vortex opened, the tendrils that formed the 'rails' of slipstream emerging. "That's a nightmare and a half."

"Gets you every time. Riza, be nice to my wife."

"You might be my cousin, but you're not getting a smoother ride. Slipstreaming now!"

The three ships entered the vortex, entering the ever-shifting subspace rail network.

The three Starfleet ships dropped out of the Slipstream, appearing before a large snow-covered world with a large ring surrounding the planet… that was colored red and white like a candy cane. It looked peaceful… save for the Romulan warbirds flying in orbit.

"Three D'Deridex-Class warbirds, five Norexan-Class warbirds and probably a few T'varos. How the hell she managed to get these things is beyond me."

"Doesn't matter, Jaden: we're here to fucking deal with that Romulan bitch. Get into transporter range: I'll deal with the Romulans. Takeshi, you're on search and destroy duty: find a cloaked warbird, you hose it down with cannon fire."

"Understood," Takeshi replied. "I'll deal with them."

The Ra Cailum broke off, the larger warbirds rushing at the new ship. Elisa shook her head at the sight. "They have no clue who's in command of that ship now, do they?"

Jaden chuckled. "No they don't." A volley of torpedoes were fired from the forward tubes before phaser beams impacted them, causing a Norexan to ram into another, the debris slamming into a D'Deridex. "And NOW they know who's commanding that ship."

Jaden was quite confident of that. After all, the helter skelter flight of the warbirds was the usual sign of people realizing whom they just fucked with.

"That's right, assholes." He smirked, "You fucked with us on the wrong day - time to save Christmas! Anne! All ahead full! Move us close so we can beam down the gropo's! We're saving Saint Nick!"

"This is one mission I never thought we'd ever end up doing…" Anne muttered, pushing the controls forward as Yorktown accelerated.

Sela was not what you'd call a… stable person.

Having her mother try to take her away from Romulus (trying to keep her from becoming what she became) only to cry out, getting exiled from RSE and losing it all thanks to three assholes (one being a legendary fleet killer, but point remains) and escaping Iconian custody to end up on a planet controlled by her enemies…

For be frank, it was a wonder how she could function at all, let alone be Empress of the Star Empire. But more to the point.

You're asking yourselves 'how did she get HERE?'. The answer's simple: she had help. From Starfleet, ironically. The Department of Temporal Investigations was getting tired of the universe stopping every year on December 24th/25th, so they got her to Romulan space in exchange for one thing: turning off that goddamn time stopping device.

And now… she found herself at the capital of a being many humans and aliens alike considered a saint and myth.

"Suddenly the coal I received every December makes sense," Sela informed, turning back to the form of a large man in a red coat. "Of all the mythological beings in the universe… you were real. You have a weapon which can alter space-time… and you use it to deliver mere presents to children?"

"Some people aren't as twisted and naughty as you, Empress Sela." Saint Nicholas said. "I simply want to bring joy and happiness… you just bring sadness and grief."

"Look what happened to my world!"

"Oh, trust me, Empress, THAT is your fault."

Sela glared at Santa. "How is it MY fault?!"

The usually jolly man sighed. "RIGHT, you're not supposed to know that yet…"

"You know what, I don't care. Just give me the access codes, and as soon as I'm done destroying the Federation and the Klingons, you can have it back. You have my word."

Santa laughed, but it was a hollow echo of the jolly sound that usually came from his mouth. "The word of a Romulan Empress carries no weight with me, your majesty. Seeing as you backstab everyone you make agreements with!"

Sela snarled before one of her loyal Naval officers ran in. "Empress, I'm sorry for disturbing you, but three Federation starships just arrived in orbit."

"Just three?"

"Well… one of them is the Yorktown, and the Ra Cailum is acting like the old Ptolemaeus!"

"But that means… that means… THAT MEANS THEY'RE BACK! NOOOOOO!"

Santa smirked. "My top three on the nice list," he said. "Good work, Annalina."

Jaden beamed down to the surface - still wearing his Santa costume as he prepped his TR-118 rifle. Ahead he could see what Cherry and Bling confirmed to be Santa's workshop - a massive industrial area where various toys of all sizes were placed, but several buildings were on fire as Romulan soldiers attacked the area, as they attacked Elves and what appeared to be nutcracker soldiers armed with disruptor rifles.

"Alright, first objective: secure the Workshop," Jaden informed the other soldiers. "Mrs. Clause is pinned down in there, we need to bail her out! Then we push on to Sela's base and rescue the man himself, and the North Pole! FOR CHRISTMAS!"

"That is the weirdest battlecry ever. Of all time."

"Just kill the assholes!"

Phaser fire impacted the Imperial Romulans, much to their horror. "Fvadt, not them again!"

"Fuck this! RUN!"

Sniper fire cut down several retreating Romulans, fired from the Ra Cailum's leading sniper.

Whose gun was also a scythe. "You wanna ruin my Christmas?! Come on, assholes!" Ruby Rose opened fire with Crescent Rose, emptying the clip, but every shot met a target, usually the kneecaps.

Weiss Schnee then joined in on the fray, stabbing with her rapier or shooting with her compression pistol, but people died anyways. "I was going to enjoy the next week off with Ruby! NOW YOU RUINED IT!"

Moral of the story: ruin Christmas for Team RWBY, you suffer.

Sela watched in horror as RWBY and Jaden destroyed her forward command post. "Oh, COME ON! Why are these people at the top of your nice list?! They've killed at least as many people as I have!"

Santa let out a low chuckle. "Unlike you, they actually hold regrets about those they kill," he said. "Plus, they… deal with the people on top of the naughty list… like you."

Sela growled, she had to hold them off until she got the codes, she had to win this battle! But what could they use to stop…

She blinked, before letting out a twisted, evil smirk that could put the Grinch to shame. "Sub-commander." She turned to the officer in the room. "Send a detachment to the ice box."

"Yes Empress."

Santa's eyes widened "You're mad…" he muttered. "If you're planning to release him-"

"You and Pinkerton leave me little choice," Sela said, "If anything could kill Pinkerton… it's him."

Sela left the prison, leaving Santa wide-eyed before he hastily began gathering as much snow from his cell as he could.

Takeshi opened fire with the Firestorm's weapons, the quad-linked Phaser Cannons shredding through another set of Romulan T'varos. "Looks like we're finally thinning their numbers up here a bit," he remarked.

A D'Deridex exploded due to careful turning from the Ra Cailum making it slam into a ruined Norexan, the Odyssey-class starship stabilizing into standard orbit. "Alright, people, suit up. It's at least 20 below down there. Time to break out those old jackets."

"Understood," Takeshi replied, standing up and letting the relief helmsman take over. "Luna, with me."

"Nowhere I'd rather be."

Snow was billowing around Jaden, blowing around thanks to an unholy wind.

"Jaden, this is bad! Storm systems like this don't just appear out of nowhere!"

Jaden nodded. "Right," he said. "Keep your eyes peeled, everyone. Who knows if the Romulan Bitch found some kind of superweapon or guardian or something."

A massive snowball rolled into sight, a pair of coal pieces on it while another ball rolled on top of it, arms growing out of it before a third went on top, coal eyes and a carrot nose emerging from it as a hat appeared on top of the ball.

"A FUCKING SNOWMAN?! You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"Here's hoping it's friendly…" Jaden muttered, even though he kept his weapon primed.

Suddenly a black top hat emerged from the top of his head. "Happy Birthday!"

"…FROSTY!" T'Vrell and the others mouths fell agape at the iconic snowman, while Jaden was smiling up a storm.

"Oh for the love of-"

"Jaden, right?" Frosty the Snowman asked, "We were told to expect you! Sorry 'bout the Storm, but it's to help cover your approach to the Claus Estate!"

"Lead the way Frosty!" Jaden grinned as the giant Snowman turned around, as the away team followed Frosty deeper into the storm.

They continued marching forward, however they soon heard the sound of disruptor fire over the hill ahead. The group climbed over the snow-covered hill, and came across what some would call a… bizarre sight. That being Elves and Woodcracker robots firing candy cane-like phasers at attacking Romulan and Reman forces, defending a house which honestly looked as if it were made out of sweets and cookies.

Ruby froze at the sight. Her second-favorite thing (that wasn't Weiss, her sister or Blake. Or her crewmates on the Ra Cailum) was made into a house. Rose petals followed her wake as she jumped onto it and began to DEVOUR it. The Romulans were too terrified to even THINK of shooting at her: they'd heard of Ruby and they didn't want to see her on a sugar high. NO ONE DID.

…Not true: Ron did, but he wanted to harness and unleash that on the dumb bastards.

And the worst part? Every bite she took… the house regenerated.

"…I give her two minutes before she goes full-blown sugar-mad."

"I give her one." Jaden chuckled, before he heard an animal noise behind him, before everyone ducked as several Reindeer flew overhead, before their noses glowed and unleashed phaser blasts into the ground. "…was… was that-"

"Rudolf's family?" Frosty chuckled. "Yeah. Turns out the nose doubles as a natural phaser array."

"…Ron's gonna have fun with this." Disruptor bolts suddenly fired towards them. "Shit! Duck!" The group ducked for cover as Romulan troops began firing their weapons at them, however Frosty just tanked the shots. "Frosty!"

"Don't worry! I've handled worse…" The snowman said, grinning before turning back towards the Romulans. Suddenly his arms began to shift and transform… emerging as a pair of dual gatling gun pods, as missile launchers appeared from his legs and shoulders.

"…holy-" Jaden's voice was cut out as Frosty unleashed a volley of weapons fire down upon the Romulans.

A heavily armored Romulan crawled out of his snowy grave, pointing his disruptor pistol at one of the reindeer.

Then a blue beam hit him in the head. "NO ONE fucks with Christmas!"

Jaden smirked. "Ron, nice of you to join us." Ron, Sonja and Corpsa approached the Yorktown senior staff, wearing their old-style excursion jackets. They looked… actually festive in those red outfits.

"Took us a while upstairs, Take should be-" Sonja began, before Rudolf flew over them, and watched as the Reindeer fired a phaser from its nose, downing a Scorpion fighter. "Did… did I just see-"

"Rudolph the red nosed reindeer shoot down a fighter with a beam array for a nose?" Jaden asked, "Yes, yes you did."

"And… is that-"

"Frosty the gatling gun and missile pod-equipped battle robot snowman? Indeed."

"Where's the man in red?" Jaden gestured to himself and Ron, who was barely amused. "Funny. I mean THE man in red."

A Romulan was booted out a window, screaming as he fell.

"Someone's pissed."

Another dumb bastard was shot by a woman with grey hair, looking in her early fifties but still going strong. She wore winter clothing, but it was designed for comfort and mobility instead of sitting in one place.

Holding a candy cane-shaped shotgun. "Get out of my house!" She shouted, pumping the shotgun before glancing down. "Oh dear, visitors! And my yard is such a mess!"

"…holy shit, that's Mrs. Claus… " Yang muttered.

"Language, young lady!"

"Sorry ma'am…"

Annalina Clause smiled as she leaped down to the ground, "So glad you could all come though," she said, "I feared Bling and Cherry wouldn't make it past the blockade… I know you want an explanation, but would you so kindly help me kick these naughty boys and girls off my lawn, Captains?"

Ruby squeed so loud that it broke glass, right before she rushed off, impacting a Scorpion and hacking it in half with her aura.

"Was she—"

"She was going Mach 20, at LEAST! GodDAMN, I love it when people can break the laws of physics!"

Ruby landed in front of the terrified Romulans and Remans, an absolutely terrifying smile on her face, head twitching faster than most people could track, and body spasming like she was having a dozen mini-seizures at once.

"COOOOOOOOOKIEEES!" She screamed, high-pitched voice even higher and filled with… well, whatever. "CHRISTMASSANTABADYGUYSNORTHPOLECOOKIEHOUSEDIEEEEE!"

The Romulans ran away from the battlefield, all pride leaving their motions as they wanted to just survive.

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" Ruby giggled, dashing after the lackeys faster than most shuttlecraft.

Weiss simply smiled fondly.

Sela facepalmed at the sight. "You're ROMULANS! Don't just—"

"AAAAAAAAH!"

She slammed her head into a wall before screaming. "GAAAH!"

Ron smiled at the sound of Sela's screaming voice. "Music to my ears. Five days after I get my new ship, everything's back to normal." He looked to Mrs. Claus before saluting her. "Thank you for the new ship, by the way, ma'am."

"No problem at all, Ronald." Mrs. Claus smiled as she sat down on a rocking chair, setting her shotgun to the side. "I was trying to convince Nick to have it delivered to you in the night before all of this started."

"How did this all happen, Mrs. Claus?" Weiss asked, as she sat Ruby down on a couch as she underwent her post-Sugar rush Sugar Low.

Mrs. Claus sighed "I don't know how, but Sela not only learned of our location, but also how to bypass the defenses we've set up around the sector," she informed. "Usually if a ship approaches, a small wormhole appears and would simply spit the ship back out on the other side… when she got through that, our secondary defenses tried to hold her off… but the Borg tech made things… difficult."

"We'll kick her off your world, Mrs. Claus," Jaden assured, as he took a drink out of a mug of hot cocoa. "We've dealt with worse."

"That's why you're here, after all." She smiled. "On the plus side, we're still alive… meaning Nick is still alive, since she hasn't gotten the codes to the North Pole itself. This gives us some time to plan… but we must save my husband… before it's too late… "

"We'll get him out, ma'am. Just hope you don't mind the house getting a little bloody while we do it."

"Oh, I don't. Haven't had the chance to clean the place in ages!"

Ron checked the power cell of his assault phaser before drawing his kilij. "I'll distract the bastards. I just hope those personal shields you guys like using hold up to a few disruptor beams."

"Oh, they can take a LOT more than a few disruptor beams, Ron." Mrs. Claus assured.

Suddenly Jaden's comm badge activated, causing him to blink "Who would be contacting me?" He muttered, tapping it. "This is Captain Takeo, who is this?"

"Jaden… Takeo, right?" A raspy voice spoke, as Mrs. Claus's eyes widened.

"That's Santa!" She shouted.

The eyes of Jaden and the others widened "S-Santa?" Jaden whispered.

"Nick! Are you alright?" Mrs. Claus asked quickly. "How are you-"

"I used… the last bit of my abilities to forge a communicator from ice on the floor." Santa informed. "Is… is Pinkerton there? Ronald Pinkerton?"

Ron picked up Jaden's commbadge.

"I'm here, sir."

Santa let out a quiet yet still powerful 'Ho ho ho'. "It's good to hear your voice again, Captain. We've met before, when you were younger. MUCH younger."

"I'd like to think everyone's met Santa at least once, sir. We're here and getting ready to clear Sela's assholes out of your house. NO ONE fucks with Santa and gets away with it on my watch."

"I appreciated it, Captain… but you need to forget about me for now."

"What?!" Mrs. Claus asked, "Honey, just hang on! We'll come to-"

"Annalina!" Santa shouted, causing his wife to pause. "We have… a much bigger problem now… Sela isn't just going to use the Pole now."

"What do you..." Her eyes widened "Oh god no… "

"What?" Jaden asked, "What is it?"

"That bitch… she… she's lost it." Mrs. Claus muttered. "To… to unleash… him..."

"Who?" T'Vrell asked. "Who is… Him?"

Mrs. Clause bowed her head slight. "A part of our history… better left forgotten," She said, "The Shadow of Saint Nicolas..."

Sela adjusted her winter jacket. If she wanted something done RIGHT, she was going to have to unleash it herself!

"Get out of my way!" She shoved the engineers aside before firing her repeater disruptor at the 'ice box', a sort of containment cell for… something horrible.

The 'box' being a large black prison cell, with giant steel bars with engravings upon them. The lock - blasted apart by the disruptor fire. From within the shadows… a loud growling sound was heard, a distant clopping, and the music of chains being dragged.

The Romulans all took a step back, as the noise drew closer… before a figure began to appear from the shadows. Wearing what looked like a long, red cloak similar to Santa's, but dragging along the floors, and obscuring much of its face - but Sela could see what looked like a pair of hooves from underneath. A pair of elongated goat-like horns emerging from above, a grey beard with splotches of blood upon it, hands with fingers far too long to be natural. Hoisted on his back was a wool sack which was torn in several places, but something was moving from within, and they could hear a mixture of screams and laughter from within.

Sela got a look - only a brief look at his face, and recoiled. Its teeth were yellow and fang-like, covered in blood. And his eyes… there were no eyes - just two empty, black abysses where eyes would be… and it looked at her, looking into her very soul.

Sela realized she had just made a terrible mistake.

She had unleashed the greatest monster of Christmas…

…she had released… Krampus.

"So you're telling me Santa's dark counterpart is locked in your basement? Why didn't you just throw the son of a bitch into the sun?!"

"If only it were so simple..." Mrs. Claus sighed. "Krampus… he once was a part of Nicholas, as one single being. But in those old days, Santa had a… different, line of thinking. He believed by punishing naughty ones with fear, it would encourage them to do good deeds… so he split himself, removing all of his evils, his darkness… which formed into the being we know as Krampus…"

"But it… it only got worse," she said. "Krampus went to… extreme measures to punish the young… it got so bad, he would punish even those on the nice list! Doing… Unspeakable things to them… we had to stop him, but… if we kill Krampus… it would kill Santa as well. And after all of that hate, rage and evil he… it had absorbed over the years… we feared what would happen if Santa remerged with his darker half… it could take over Nicholas himself… so we locked him away, from a prison he could never escape from… but we never thought someone would be blasted insane enough to let him free!"

"Ok, so we can't kill the son of a bitch. How do we through him back in the box and make sure he never gets out?"

Mrs Claus didn't even comment on Ron's cursing: he was a grown man and he always dealt with the naughtiest people on the list. "We considered neutronium, but that is so hard to liquify and use."

Jaden had an idea. "Wait, dead stars are made of the stuff and they're cool enough to dump the ice box into."

"If by cool, you mean less than one hundred thousand degrees, then yes. But that would destroy the box."

"Not destroy it." Jaden smirked "Encase it in the stuff. We lock him back up, Ron takes us to a star because he hasn't shared that slipstream crap with us—"

"With good reason."

"We dunk the ice box into the star for a few hours, then pull it back up and let it cool down. By that time, the bastard's stuck forever!"

Mrs. Claus thought about it. "It might work…" she muttered, "But if the Ice Box was damaged, we will have to repair it to contain him again."

"I can handle that, ma'am." Ron checked his new compression rifle, smirking.

"We'll delay the son of a bitch until you fix it up."

"Krampus is EXCEEDINGLY dangerous, Mr. Pinkerton!" The temporally displaced human chuckled. "So am I. Jaden, you ready to bring Santa's dark side to his knees?"

"You bet your jingling hide I am!" Ron blinked as he looked at Jaden… who had outfitted himself with Candy Cane weaponry, wearing the santa uniform with bandoliers of ammo, and christmas-based warpaint on his face… and riding on the back of a Rudolf Reindeer.

"Someone likes Christmas a LITTLE too much..." A candy cane sword was pointed at his face. "...not that there's anything wrong with that..."

"Tis the season, Admiral."

Sela panted as she ran from the monster. That unholy being was almost as bad as the Iconians!

Whom she'd had the displeasure of meeting. That was not an experience she'd like to repeat. They had an OBSESSION with killing Ron (who DIDN'T?) and they really didn't like Romulans.

Ron, she could understand: he was the fleet killer. DEATH ITSELF. But what the hell did the Romulans do to the Iconians?

Yes, STO players, this Sela HASN'T gone back in time and killed the Iconians yet. She'll be back in her cell by the end of the fic.

But despite all of this, seeing what that… that thing and its abominations its calls minions did to her soldiers… she could still hear them screaming, the mad cackling of those demonic… things Krampus unleashed. The things he did… it was just unnatural...

So when the Elachi showed up, she didn't exactly resist. She'd break out on her own again.

But that didn't stop the monsters from going after THEM. And while the Elachi were powerful, Krampus was unholiness unleashed. It would take a demon to take this monster down.

So she decided to place her hopes, ironically, in the very people she hated.

"Ok, Lady Christmas, any ideas on how we put Dark Santa on his back without killing him? I presume firing on him with a phaser array is generally a bad idea."

"You can… won't do much," Mrs. Claus said, as the group rearmed themselves. "Krampus is more durable than you think… "

"Come on, how bad can he-"

"He can tank the Doomsday weapon laser beam, and he'll just be more angry."

Ron grimaced. Tanking an antiproton beam wasn't exactly easy. A Connie like the old 1701 could take four shots before her shields failed.

"Point taken. So we can hit the son of a bitch as much as we can and it won't hurt him. What'd you do last time?"

"Santa forced him into the ice box. But my husband is too weak to do such a thing now."

Corpsa put out another suggestion. "Tractor beams?"

"That'd just piss him off. We need more power. Could the North Pole give us something that could restrain Krampy long enough for us to knock him out?"

"It's the only thing that could," Mrs. Claus nodded. "The Pole could create entire stars, planets - heck, even galaxies if you charge it up enough. Hook it up to one of your ships and you'll have a limitless power source. But it doesn't mean jack frost if we don't A. have the Pole, and B. Save my Husband who has the codes."

"RWBY, find the man in red and get him to safety. We need Santa alive and well. Ra Cailum, I want you to scan the entire surface of the planet: find that device! All in all, avoid that bastard until we get the Pole! Sela is going to PAY for this shit."

"Yes sir!" Ruby grinned as she and her team headed out - not before yanking off another chunk of the house for on the go.

Krampus marched through the halls of the workshop, looking for his targets. He wanted to punish all things, make them suffer.

Make them die.

"Hey! Asshole!" A phaser beam impacted Krampus, getting his attention. Ronald Pinkerton was standing there. "I've made a list and you're on it! Come and fucking get me!"

Krampus looked at Ron, before letting out a loud inhumane scream as he dashed forward towards Ron, moving disturbingly fast for such a large creature. He opened his sack as he let loose a swarm of Christmas abominations from teddy bears with razor sharp teeth, zombie elves, vampire nutcrackers and more which chased after Ron.

"Me and my big fucking mouth." Ron fled, screaming at the top of his lungs. "SONJA, WHERE'S THAT FUCKING BOX?!"

"Working on it; keep him distracted!"

"HE'S ZEROED IN ON ME; I DON'T THINK ANYTHING'S GOING TO GET HIS ATTENTION!"

Santa panted as he struggled to keep conscious. The universe depended on him. The door exploded open, Jaden emerging from the smoke. "Santa! ...Sorry about the door; it was locked."

"Not… a problem, Jaden. Where is Mr. Pinkerton?"

"He's distracting tall, dark, and gruesome," Jaden said, helping the man to his feet. "We have a plan to lock him up… are… you alright?"

The old man let out a small laugh. "Nothing permanent… I knew you and your friends would come."

Jaden smiled as he helped Santa out of the cell. "No one else believes me that… well, you're real…" he said. "This is… well… "

"Hard to believe?"

"Well… "

Santa let out a short ho ho ho. "It's alright, Jaden," he said. "Knowing that a few people still believe in me is more than enough to keep me going..."

"Why do you stay so… obscure? Tell people?"

"For the same reason Sela's here," He admitted, "I do not know how she learned of my existence or location… but I keep the list of people who know very short, to ensure the North Pole does not fall into the wrong hands."

"Well… your secret's safe with us," Jaden assured, "If it comes down to it I'll edit the logs… Ron'll probably hate me for it, but… "

"Don't worry about it," Santa assured, as they continued their way out of the prison. "Come on… I need to get back home..."

Ron's scream was heard from the ice box. "SONJA!"

"I know, I'm working on it." She managed to solder the locking pins back into place, but this thing was lucky to hold that son of a bitch as it were.

"Sonja, I'm running out of tricks, here!"

"Box is ready, but I'm not sure how well it'll work!" Ron then ran into sight, screaming. "HE'S ON MY ASS LIKE THAT RUNNING FUCK FROM ALIEN 3!"

"I love that movie."

Krampus then let out another roar as he and his little minions appeared behind Ron practically on his heels, screaming as they charged for the Admiral like their next meal.

"Gotcha, bitch!" Sonja triggered the trap, knocking Krampus into the box using a log to slam into his side, allowing Sonja to shut the door while Ron killed his minions. "I hate today."

"Gets worse. Where's the pole, boss?"

"I think I know. SELA!" He heard a fangirlish squeal, which made him wince. "I regret that already."

"At least where the bitch is, the pole is." Ron opened his communicator. "Jaden, Dark Santa is on ice."

"Best news I've heard! And Santa is safe and sound!" Jaden answered. "Mrs. Claus is looking over him with Rutia."

"We're going to find Sela. And shove my size 15 boot up her size minus 20 ass!"

"Good luck! Hope they're spiky!"

"OhoHoh… You have NO idea."

Sela KNEW her obsession(as in she wanted to fuck him, literally) with Ron would be her end one day, and she was proven right as a phaser beam hit her in the back. "Fucking predictable."

"Kill me, you don't get your toy back." Sela yelled as she rolled onto her back and spat out some snow.

"Kill you? Fuck that. I think I'll lose my spot on the nice list, but torturing you will SO be fucking WORTH IT."

Sela chuckled nervously. "Mommy."

"You had her killed, bitch. Where's the pole? And don't say 'I don't know'. Do it and I'll introduce you to a phaser at point blank range!"

Sela sighed. "It's… on my ship," she stated. "I was going to use it to… to rebuild Romulus… bring it back…"

"Name."

"What?"

"Your ship." Ron drew his sword. "The name."

"IRW GLADIUS! JUST LET ME GO!"

"Like hell I—" A purple beam hit Ron in the back and he fell to the snowy ground. Sela knew better than to wait, running straight into a gateway.

Ron groaned as he activated his communicator. "The Gladius… search the wreckage of the IRW… Gladius…" His face planted into the snow.

Even fleet killers were not immune to particle beams.

Takeshi was a little worried about Ron thanks to that last transmission, but Jorn was going to check on him, so he had to trust that Ron would be alright.

Meanwhile, Takeshi himself was looking through the wreckage of the IRW Gladius, to see if he could find the North Pole.

"Any ideas what this thing looks like?"

"It's not Romulan and apparently indestructible. If we find it, we'll know it."

"Right," Takeshi replied. "Kim, you have anything?"

"Scanning the wreckage now. So..."

Takeshi sighed. "What?"

"How's it feel to be absolutely wrong about Santa?"

"Don't you start that."

"Oh, but I am. You were WRONG."

Takeshi facepalmed. "Okay, yes, I was wrong. Why does everyone want to rub my face in it?" he complained.

"Because you were so smug and sure that Santa didn't exist and you were proven wrong about it?"

"Then why don't you make fun of Ron when he's wrong?"

Luna held up a finger. "One, because he's usually right. Two, because even when he's wrong, he says that there was a chance he was beforehand. Three, I don't want to be on his bad side!"

Takeshi sighed. She had a point there.

"I hate you all."

"Don't feel bad. You just got your ass handed to you by the most senior officer in the fleet with over a century of experience."

Takeshi sighed again. "Let's… let's just find the Pole and get it back to Santa, so we can get out of here and get back to our normal weirdness," he muttered.

"Normal? Welcome to the Ptolemaeus. There IS no normal." The sensors picked up a single contact. "Finally. Found something in the debris. It's putting out a dampening field, so we can't beam it on board."

"Right," Takeshi said with another sigh. "It's never that easy. Matt, I need you to suit up a team and bring that thing aboard so we can deliver it to Santa."

The bridge crew began giggling. "Oh, shut up!"

Ron crawled towards a door, groaning in pain. "Whoever shot me… is going to pay." He was pissed. That rage kept the pain at bay.

Adrenaline and rage were a hell of a painkiller.

The door suddenly opened as the form of Cassie appeared standing there, before she glanced down and her eyes widened "Ron! Shit are you alright?!"

"I took… a goddamn phaser beam to the back."

"Actually, antiproton."

"That's semantics; point is I got shot and DO I BLOODY LOOK ALRIGHT?!"

Cassie winced slightly. "Sorry…" she muttered, before helping him up to his feet. "Cassie to fleet, I have the Captain, transport two directly to sickbay."

The two disappeared in showers of light before they reappeared in the new sickbay. "What happened to the boss?"

"He took an antiproton beam to the back."

Rutia looked at the wound. "Looks like it was on disruption, not kill. Not to worry, Cassie."

"Why should she be… worried?" Ron glanced at Cassie, watching as her face turned a shade of red.

"W-well you… you are t-the captain and… I…" she began, before sighing. "Oh fuck it all." She leaned forward and planted her lips right onto Ron's.

He blinked in surprise before closing them. So his ship, well, former ship, was love with him.

Eh, welcome to Starfleet. Weirder shit's happened. She let him go before blushing. "Oh, great, now you're going to think—"

"If you want to give it a chance, fine. Just remember, Cassie…" He hissed in pain as Rutia worked on his back. "I'm an asshole."

"I know… " Cassie said, before smiling. "But… that's why I love you, because you're my asshole."

"…That sounded VERY wr—"

She jumped onto his lap and kissed him again.

"Hey, if you're going to fuck him, at least WAIT until I've fixed his back! THEN I can give you pointers!"

"RUTIA!"

Takeshi looked at the Pole. "THIS is Santa's super-replicator?"

"What were YOU expecting?"

"Don't know 'bout you, but I was expecting this," Jaden chuckled as he looked at the giant two meter tall candy-cane colored pole which now sat in the center of the workshop.

"Welcome to Starfleet, where weird is our job."

Mrs. Claus smiled. "You've done a great service to children everywhere. And saved the galaxy from a madwoman."

"Where IS Sela, anyways?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. After your friend was shot, she just disappeared."

"My question is how the heck she got here to begin with," Jaden asked. "You said you had defenses in place… who would have the ability to bring Sela and a force of her lackey's right here of all places?"

"I think I know who. We picked up a Federation warp signature in orbit before she landed forces down here."

"We did not help her."

She shook her head. "Not Starfleet proper. Your friend hates them almost as much as Section 31."

Jaden groaned. "What the hell does the Department of Temporal Investigations get from stealing the pole and ruining Christmas?" He shouted.

"They hate everything that screws with time," Mrs. Clause said. "They even tried to destroy the Orb of Time after Bajor joined the Federation. It's really hypocritical when you think about it."

"And because this thing freezes time, and Santa uses it every year, they really hate it," Takeshi surmised.

"Well, only one thing we can do… " Jaden said as he pulled up a flamethrower.

"Whoa! No need to burn-" He then proceeded to shoot it against a massive pile of Coal.

"We're delivering DTI mounds of Hot, fresh Coal!"

Starfleet Headquarters

"What the HELL is that SMELL?!" Quinn walked towards the source of the smell. It seemed to be coming from the area used by DTI, but what the hell were Lucsly and Dulmur DOING in there?

Quinn opened the door…

*CRASH* *CRUMBLE* *BANG*

…and a mountain of Coal spilled from out of DTI's quarters.

"What the FUCK?!"

"We don't know what happened, Admiral. One minute, we were compiling reports, the next THIS came out of nowhe—"

A metal plate landed on Dulmur's head, Lucsly picking it up.

"'To the fucking morons at DTI: you nearly ruined Christmas. Thanks a lot, the crews of the USS Firestorm and Valkyrie/Yorktown. PS: The Ra Cailum's crew is pissed off, too; they just want to make it known in person'.

'Merry Christmas… motherfuckers.'"

Quinn looked at the note, then back at DTI. "…the fuck just happened?"

"I think we fucked up."

"THAT was funny." Mrs Claus smiled. "They wanted to do the right thing, they just did the wrong thing in doing it. Using temporal technology requires responsibility and it took Santa and I years to master it without abusing it."

Takeshi chuckled before getting a lump of coal to the face again. "OH COME ON!"

"Two for flinching!"

*Bonk*

Takeshi just sighed. "I'm never going to live that down, am I?" he asked.

"Heck no!" Jaden shouted, putting on his Santa hat. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to help out the man in red!"

"…why?"

"Well because of this whole shit storm, he's behind schedule… so me and Yorktown are gonna be helping the big man deliver the goods!" Jaden grinned. "And since the Pole freezes time… we can celebrate Christmas for even longer!"

Takeshi groaned. He had the feeling everyone was going to be celebrating by smacking him in the face with coal.

Santa's sleigh was loaded to bear, with the Yorktown coming along for the ride.

Not that he NEEDED to. "You really shouldn't, Jaden: even with the pole freezing time, it will take me years to make the deliveries."

"Which is why I asked the crew, and they all unanimously agreed to help." Jaden stated, "You've done this job by yourself all these years… at least this year, you should have a little bit more help. We're all stocked up with Christmas cheer right now anyways."

Santa let out a short Ho ho ho. "I don't doubt that for a minute, Jaden," he said. "So how about this… you take care of the planets your crew are from, as well as your friends on the Ra Cailum and Firestorm. I'll handle the rest."

"Sounds like a deal," Jaden nodded, before the two stared at one another, before they hugged. "Merry Christmas, Big guy."

"Merry Christmas, Jaden." With that, Jaden hit his comm badge, as he vanished in a show of light, as Santa boarded his sleigh.

He reappeared on the bridge of his ship, taking a seat in the captain's chair. "How's Ron?"

"He's fine, but apparently unavailable."

Jaden blinked. Ron, unavailable? That never happened. "What, is he unconscious or something?"

"Nope. Cassie's got him occupied."

"Occupied with what?" Jaden asked. "They doing maintenance or…" he blinked. "...nooooo fucking way… "

"Yeah, she confessed and dragged him to his quarters as soon as his back was fixed."

"About freaking time!" That had been a running joke for MONTHS. Their de facto commander's obliviousness to Cassie was getting annoying by now.

"That was starting to get painful waiting for one or the other to fess up!" Jaden groaned out, "Glad thats over with."

"We're ready to head out, Jaden."

"Let's not waste any time: we've got presents to deliver!" Jordan shouted, sitting down as he clapped his hands. "Anne, move us next to the sleigh!"

"Aye aye… never thought I'd be following that order..." She said, as the Yorktown moved next to Santa's Sleigh as it rose up next to them.

"Recieving transmission from the… Sleigh," T'Vrell shook her head. "Instructions on how to augment our shields to be resistant to the temporal freeze."

"160 planets in 24 hours. That's going to be a record for circumnavigating the Federation."

"Speaking of which, any idea what Takeshi and Ron will be doing while we play delivery boy?"

Jaden grinned. "Oh, just a bit of revenge," he said. "Adjust the shields, T'Vrell."

The adjustments were made, and moments later a pulse of energy came from Santa's sleigh, and suddenly everywhere around the Sleigh and Yorktown time had just stopped entirely - the Firestorm and Ra Cailum freezing in place.

"Alrighty then people," Jordan said, cracking his knuckles. "Let's begin! Firstly, beam the… surprises over to the ships."

Elisa giggled. "Done and done sir," she said."Next stop?"

"Earth," Jordan informed, "Set course for Maximum Warp!" The Yorktown adjusted itself around as it moved away from the planet. "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Ron the True Fan: Well, this is a first.

Takeshi Yamato: Yeah - a Star Trek Christmas story - and beyond that, one that is actually released on Christmas!

Ron the True Fan: I WAS going to say it's the first sidefic we've made before making the actual fic.

117Jorn: Just a little treat we wanted to give you guys! :D Anyways, stay tuned for future updates on our main fics as usual, and…

Everyone: Merry Christmas, and Happy New Years!