Disclaimer: The rights to Persona 4 belong to Atlus.
Warnings: Slight Mature Themes & Explicit Language
Author's Note [06.11.18 – Update]: The ending of this chapter has been clipped and moved into the next chapter to improve the flow of action into the next scenes. The rating of this story has been lowered until future chapters, as well.
All Hallows' Eve:
Chapter One: Midnight Circus
[Seta Souji x Adachi Tohru Yaoi Fan-Fiction]
|Tohru Adachi| -Thoughts
||Seta Souji|| - Thoughts
On Halloween night the schools proposed a rare treat which allowed teenagers to leave early to prepare for the festivities ahead. Anxious students rushed home to adorn their costumes—ghouls, witches, vampires, werewolves, and the undead all making their appearance amongst the various fiends. In spite of the apparent joy and excitement captivating their beloved children into the neighborhood streets, most parents clung to their wrists in terror; since the stream of deaths circulating in the media of the small town still remained unsolved. However, teachers and local authorities encouraged parents to utilize the entertainment as a means of returning a sense of peace and balance while, also, ensuring that their children would be safe. Thus, with conflicted smiles, parents released their wrists and the celebration began.
Beyond the reach of rowdy masqueraders—excited for candy, haunted houses, and fright—one teenager stands alone on the sidewalk beneath a flickering streetlamp. The eighteen year old senior wears the outfit of a paladin with his short silver stands catching the gentle gusts of autumn in the air; complimenting his guise of a majestic appearance. Shinning golden armor encases his limbs, while a long cape at his back helps provide warmth as he surveys the area with resolute eyes of changing hues, though gray at the moment.
In his grasp a long sword lays sheathed tightly, as he searches for the familiar dance of a swaying lantern. Only on Halloween night can he spend the darkening hours with his elusive lover. When the sun disappeared over the horizon the game had already commenced, thus leaving him with a shortened amount of precious time for them to be together. Already he knows those booted feet have touched down on earth and welcomed those demonic wings to rest; while that impressive, spade-tipped tail sways carelessly along the ground. His partner is usually very withdrawn from things unless driven to facades, but these nights always bring forth the truth residing within the man's soul. What he witnesses on these nights invokes a maddening sensation, an insatiable desire prickling at the peak of his resistance until he is fulfilled by the one who stirred him up inside one fateful day on the battlefield.
Yet, he is bound by the rules of the one responsible and must first locate the man somewhere in the expanse of this small town: Inaba. It shouldn't take long to pinpoint the personification of his obsession yet, even if there aren't many places to search, his lover is terribly talented in avoiding him. Sometimes, his lover draws him into worlds never known to exist. Nevertheless, resigned to the rules of the game at hand, the teenager known as Souji begins his quest by dashing into the hordes of zealous adolescents to seek out his naughty incubus.
Elsewhere a demon, needing no disguise, casually walks beyond streets and alleyways; further from hyper children and ghastly creatures to head toward a deserted television store. Glass is all that stands blocking his path to the technology staring him in the face and with a mischievous smile he removes a lone pistol from the holster beneath the raincoat adorning his form to aim it at the pitiful barrier. For a moment he merely stares unmoving, taking in his mirrored reflection solemnly.
Dull eyes gaze back at him, their normal dark hue blazing in an auric color and giving more depth to his plain appearance. Short strands, untamed in their meager length, and pointed fangs paint the rest of the portrait as his miniature bat wings poke up high on his back and his spaded tail continues its calm sway behind him. Through the front of the raincoat a red tie, blue suit, and pair of brown pants can sparsely be seen; which lessens the chance of such a display giving wind to his daily identity as: an assistant detective.
Flashing a pearly white smile, the man wastes no more time in firing the pistol and shattering the window to pieces with a single bullet. Keeping his weapon handy, the demon dances over the glass shards and sets out in hooking up all the televisions so he can prepare for a special midnight show. A spectacle that will undoubtedly please his determined boyfriend, or at least give him more time off his back since he knows by now exactly what to except from the younger man. He really didn't know how he manages to keep up with the other, especially since they aren't even supposed to be together. And yet, for some reason—
"Tohru-chan!" The man in question cringes at the use of his first name so affectionately but otherwise quickens his haste to finish syncing the televisions. Chancing a glance over his shoulder, the fiend smiles at the sight of the other bound in the arms of his meddlesome schoolmates who probably haven't seen the other much for obvious reasons. Snickering to himself, Adachi completes the task of bring all the televisions to life just in time for midnight and the opening of the rift between theirs and the world beyond those screens; a world of consciousness that houses shadows and so much more.
Hopping down from his perch on top a collection of stacked televisions he listens to the heavenly sound of static before the screens depict a room straight out of a horror movie with blood everywhere, haunting pictures scattered all over the walls, and anything else one can possibly imagine in their nightmares. Pressing his palm onto a single screen, a smoky breath escapes his lips before he simply climbs through the once solid barrier to appear on the other side in that precise macabre room. Basking in the décor, he recalls the handiwork done by his own hands to create this room and the woman he accidentally locked inside until the shadows came and devoured her soul.
If he listens closely he can still hear her desperate screams, which only makes him grin wider in satisfaction. The whore really deserved the type of death he granted her and he would be damned if he ever regretted a single second of it. This corrupt side of him, as others might wrongly consider it, is why Souji should not be the one chasing after him or trying to bind him to a world he wants burning in anarchy. Only through anarchy can the desires of humans truly be fulfilled.
Despite his views, the teenager manages to demand that the elder remain his possession when he should have been locked in a jail cell ages ago if it weren't for his escape into this world. Within this realm he can spread his influence into the world merely through the rumor of the Midnight Channel granting wishes to those who manage to catch the special broadcast, though none of them realize what he shows them is something far greater than anything their simple minds can possibly wish for. Even so, for all his evil deeds, that boy insists on purifying his mind—as if he needs such sentiments—and won't allow him to be caught.
The foolish teenager protects him, directs his classmates who are hot on his trail away from him and even keeps a close enough eye on the detectives working against him. All the dedication, the magnitude of love, is all for him the other repeatedly tells him and, to this day, Adachi still didn't know how to properly react to such a strong declaration. How can he respond when all he can think about is how he is twenty-seven years old with an uninteresting appearance and personality, and how they are polar opposites in seemingly every way; especially considering their mental views of the world. Their differences labeled them as enemies, which made sense for the longest time, until fate landed him pinned underneath the other—in the twisted maze he created to destroy him—with hot lips sealed over his own. To say he had been shocked would have been an understatement.
He cannot comprehend why Souji would pursue him, why he would kiss him nearly out of the blue, but he realizes since that single moment their entire relationship have taken an almost one-hundred-and-eighty degrees turn. Instead of enemies, their regard towards each other has gradually morphed into something blurring the lines previously separating them. Now the label is left blank and, strangely, for an unknown reason he has accepted the change—somewhat—and allowed himself to be the receiver of the others' feelings on numerous occasions. In spite of this, the desire to resist remains raging inside his system, though the effort is aggravatingly futile when battling the passion yearning to swallow him whole. Those overwhelming feelings...this is the first time he is on the receiving end to know what it feels like to be wanted. In fact the whole reason he murdered that bitch is because she stomped all over his feelings to rather have a relationship with someone else.
So, why can such a juvenile man tempt him with such foreign sensations and make him crave to understand the feelings directed toward him? Is he only going to be deceived again?
A proper conscience would tell him there isn't any possible way he can do something so cold-blooded to someone else as to squash their emotions without another thought; not even to Souji, who should be his enemy and not his lover. When it comes to Souji, there is so much more on the table than he is prepared to address. For all that it's worth, he cannot understand why Souji eagerly searches for him when many of his female classmates would love nothing more than to catch his eye. Souji, with his patient and accepting personality combined with his attractive features, could win over anyone's heart. Yet, for some reason, he sacrifices time and time again to embrace plain old Adachi, who people tend to pay little attention to unless he screws up or does something clumsy. It just didn't make any sense no matter how hard he strained his mind to ponder their relationship.
Perhaps agonizing debates aren't the manner to go about getting answers?
Tonight, if things go according to plan, he will reveal the naked truth of his lover's true persona. For during those three-hundred-and-sixty-five days since Souji disembarked at the train station and became submerged within the murder investigation, that seemly began the moment he arrived, the proceedings have always gone the teenager's way no matter how many obstacles he had to overcome. That ease, and almost lack of effort, has driven Adachi into madness on numerous occasions.
Why, for some unexplained reason, does fortunate turn a blind eye on him day after day yet shine favorably on Souji?
He has to unlock the secret.
Actions might speak loud enough to explain all the uncertainty behind unspoken words.
Normal aspiring adolescents would be horrified to hear news of a female body speared atop a radio tower, yet for some bizarre twist of fate something compelled Souji to divulge into the case on a deeper level by his own means. Regardless of the confrontation glaring him down, no fear shown in those foreign eyes. Even the first time they stood on the battlefield, later down the line while the adhesive keeping his brilliant scheme together became undone, the teenager showed overwhelming confidence and determination. Those gray eyes could leave him feeling so frighteningly undressed, as if that soul never once tested could see into the basic elements of others.
Maybe that's why the scene of their first meeting was veiled in caution tape and littered with signs leading in the wrong directions?
Just maybe.
Or perhaps such a contorted layout was the only means that would allow them to truly express themselves without guises and masks?
Whatever it may be...to banish the stains of the past he will make sure the one standing completely bare is not him. The power intensifying those eyes no longer unnerves him or leaves him hesitant in progressing forth in his fiendish endeavors. When Souji and his pathetic companions traversed the gateway into this realm, something protected the youth from challenging his shadow. Something granted him the power to unleash such amazing strength without having to face the unsavory appearance of one's true self. A haunting inkling whispers to him that the teenager too must have crossed paths with the same being that unlocked his potential, but he would rather not sink into that line of thought.
Since he cannot actually fabricate what is required to draw forth an individual's true persona, using the loyal shadows keeping him company will merely have to suffice.
Smiling deviously at the notion, Adachi pads over the expansion of the macabre room blocking him from the blackened creatures waiting patiently during the time he remained submerged in heavy contemplation. Turning the silver knob, creeping beyond the threshold and into a long expanding hallway of simple black and white tiles depicting noticeable stains of far more than mere blood, the humanoid demon raises up his lantern in the ebony haze.
Immediately, blotches of dark misty figures—better described as black blobs–begin to clutter up the space with their piercing golden hues settling on him. A traitorous shiver racks up his spine as he meets their gazes solemnly, before crouching down in front of the nearest one. In spite of the numerous occasions he has spent with these usually violent shadows, a degree of the eerie sensation they invoke still remains to cause a bit of discomfort. They listen to him, allow him to control them, yet as their master he knows at any moment their mutual understanding can change and they could attack him. Nevertheless, as things are now, they need each other to continue to exist on the top of the food chain this realm maintains. For now he is their brain and they are his brawn, anything else exchanged between them is merely perks.
Succeeding in collecting himself after losing his bearings too easily, Adachi reaches out to caress the abnormally smooth surface of the creature in front of him. To his satisfaction, a screeching hum that he has grown numbly used to rings forth from the being's throat in a pleased sound of gratitude. Continuing his ministrations, the man is unsurprised when two dark arms escape from the shadow's body and materialize to latch onto his wrist and hand for the simple glee of touching his strikingly distinguished texture. Such an exchange happens quite often, for the shadows have a desire to explore the differences separating them from him. And they never seem to get tired of probing him to sate their interests.
"Maa-ster," The shadow drawls with extreme difficulty, as its hands tug on the appendage caressing its head.
The greeting smile slowly vanishes from his features into a knowing frown, even as the shadowy creature works strenuously to form the words to alert him of the danger crossing over into this realm. "It's Halloween in my world, do you remember what I told you? Do you remember what we will do this year?" He questions the creatures around him in a soft tone, while willing his eyes to pass over each and everyone of them as he retracts his hand and stand up again.
With a snap of his fingers the warm glow of the lantern returns to his grasp, causing the creatures to slide backwards in displeasure. "Bear with it, my friends. I told you before, humans are so humorous...they will seek out the light even if doing so leads them into further danger instead of leading them into sanctuary," Adachi murmurs in the same foreboding voice, while welcoming a determined smirk onto his face. "He recognizes this light very well... so transform into the visage we practiced for when he arrives."
|Souji, are you prepared to realize love isn't strong enough to alter the nature of one's heart? If it was... [she] would have been mine and not [his].
Don't you get it?
Desire rules over love, and my desire to bring out the underlining truth of this world won't be beaten by your love. Once you face the shadow of your true self and accept this fact...the sooner we can stop this confusing exchange and fight on simple terms as enemies for the fate of this grotesquely beautiful world.|
Beyond the gate of consciousness, surrounded by deep orange mist, the solemn appearance of Souji makes itself known to the familiar yet foreign atmosphere. This place is so befitting of his lover that it actually pains him to be here. All that binds his lover to this realm, all that corrupts his mind, takes root in this stream of consciousness and leaves him feeling extreme hatred. Every time fate pins them against each other, pins them to clash as exact opposites—though he wants nothing more than to hold the older man—a new degree of distaste heightens inside him. Unlike the other realms they've visited in their games, only this one forges a rift between them; only this one incriminates his lover as a monster.
Nevertheless, this is where fate has brought them to spend this Halloween...so something important must be in store for them tonight.
Shifting his armor, checking to make sure his sword is still tightly in hand, the silver-haired teenager embraces the scene on a more critical level. From the yellow hue of the floors depicting black rings in the image of a target, to the chalk outlines of murdered people though the bodies remain missing, to the stack of televisions behind him with dark screens temporarily sealing him off from his world...the atmosphere really hasn't changed at first glance. Normally the costume of a clown-like stuffed bear would be here to greet him and the companions he would bring along, yet this time around the creature is absent and the air is silent. He isn't worried despite the absence because he knows the stuffed bear is with his friend, Yosuke, probably devouring sweets from the girls over in his world.
Right now, this realm is privately Adachi and his, excluding the shadows. Speaking of which, why hasn't he heard the echoes of their haunting voices? The shadows aren't exactly known for keeping quiet, as he learned from Teddy, since they tormented the innocent creature with their malicious bellowing. The sole explanation sends a tremor of anticipation and vexation up his spine. The one he desires is probably close by, yet he can do no more than assume until he dispels the mist with the glasses resting in his pocket.
Wasting little time, the shades are soon in position as the mist vanishes to reveal a large amusement park with the appointed theme celebrating the holiday. If any other person stood behind the sentiment, a smile might have spread across his face or a telltale sign of a blush at the sight presented in front of him. Yet, he knows full-well Adachi isn't passionate enough to go through all the trouble of making his lover feel special on such a night. Instead a curious frown etches itself in place as he starts walking toward the pointed gate entrance, with twin skeletons holding a sign: "Enter if you dare."
Advancing into the strange alternate scape of twisted reality, keen gray hues bow respectively in greeting to the imposing skeletons dancing to the beat of the ominous wind while braving the change of atmosphere. Sunken voids observe his every movement as the amusement park seems to take on a more lively appearance as the spectacle springs into greater life, beckoning him to take his chances with lady luck and snatch up some prizes. The wary teenager resists the urge to potentially be devoured into the zealous scene of flashing lights, delicious scents, and adorable yet bizarre stuffed creatures hanging from their respective hooks.
From faceless clowns spinning around on their wheels, to attractive mermaids singing out like siren, to creaking ships and spiraling rides, nothing strikes him as something extremely out of place; except for the obvious lack of excited faces or sounds of people near any of the attractions. In fact, there are no glimpses of the blotchy shadows lurking around either to force him into battle. Everything is simply moving to a dead rhythm without stopping. All of this washes over his senses in an eerie sensation, and heightens further once he stumbles upon a severely out-of-place circus tent.
Do amusement parks normally have a big-top in the direct center of their festivities?
Considering this strange discovery, the layout begins to reveal more of its secrets. The circus tent is the main attraction here, all the rides and booths lean in toward it... as if an unseen rope is yanking customers beyond the scarlet-gold drape. Sparing a closer look at all the entrances to the various areas of the park also leads him to notice the numerous signs and arrows—previously overlooked—above labels advertising the spectacular show sure to mystify young and old with the amazing talent of its troupe.
"What are you trying to lure me into?" The masquerading warrior mutters under his breath as he subjects himself to the obvious hints and brushes aside the flap to disappear past the entryway.
Within the confines of the dimly illuminated structure hovering candles, bound in their comedic style, welcome him. Compared to the outside, the inside appears gigantic; especially the ceiling that gives the sense of a limitless sky except the only stars up there are the performers. However, glancing around the rows of seats and the enormous center-ring exhibiting objects used to execute the stereotypical acts, one reoccurring theme persists. From the tightrope above down to the blazing fire ring alongside a massive decorated ball, the same factor as in viewing the amusement park area influences this scene as well: there are no crowds; no participants.
Traveling closer to the middle, a large crimson pole stands imposingly in the midst of a ring of elevated earth. Tracing the outer edge cautiously for good measures he finally steps past the red rim to stumble back in sudden caution as a loud speaker manifests, vibrating with the bellowing voice of someone who he can only assume is the Ringmaster of this bizarre circus.
"Are you enjoying yourself? Well, it's not over yet folks! The main attraction is about to begin..."
Souji backs away, cringing and shielding his ears slightly against the sheer intensity of the outrageously loud announcement. The volume sprang forth so low he actually strained to hear the peculiarly familiar gentleman's voice at first then toward the finale of his enthused statement the loudspeaker cranked up the sound to a dangerous level. The entire area actually quakes and vibrates from the sudden amplification until the voice phases out, leaving the area now frozen in silence.
Slowly, tense hands remove themselves from his ears as he glares at the loudspeaker in irritation. In the blink of an eye the long sword, resting at his side all this time, is finally unsheathed as he fluidly slices the offending object in half and replaces the weapon back where it belongs. Immediately a chorus of laughter assaults his abused ears, creeping forth from every corner of the room though no matter which direction he turns the room is still ominously empty.
"Take a bow. The audience adores you. Aren't you popular!" A melodious voice whispers as the sole sound of clapping breaks the throng of laughter into numb abandonment. "You must be a natural! A special individual that people just cannot...dislike!"
Spinning on the balls of his feet, Souji squeezes his grip around the hilt of his sword as he comes face-to-face with—absolutely nothing. Darkness glares back into his heated gaze, ushering him into deeper vexation. Fate must be really testing the extent of his patience, because this game is driving him crazy. In the past none of their games ever lasted this long, since he always managed to capture his prey before anything like this sprouted into fruition. Yet this realms is almost insufferably timeless, and each advance into this frustrating mental mind-fuck honestly leaves his libido throbbing with unsatisfied desire.
"Adachi! Show yourself!" He screams like a vicious predator forced to watch a delicious meal escape or, in more befitting terms, like a hound damned to stare in escalating malice as a juicy steak is dangling just out of reach in a sadistic taunt.
"Don't whine and pout, you're our special guest. Pick a door, any door—one to three—and collect your prize!"
Pausing for a long moment, the teenager merely reaches out for the sensation of another presence yet nothing answers to the call of his senses. Sighing in distaste, tense limbs relaxes into normal posture as gray hues calm and shift to glare at the darkness impassively as the scene morphs the area in front of him into a trio of doors with vibrantly blinking frames and large black numbers on their pale golden surfaces. Sparing no amount of consideration for any specific door, slender legs stroll up to the nearest selection—door number one—before he twists the knob and yanks the barrier violently open; nearly tearing it from its hinges.
"Don't say it!" He growls, though his sudden statement is ignored.
"Oh, I knew you would pick that door~! You're so adorably conceited! Isn't that why you always know you'll end up on top? Is there no opponent savage enough to destroy your winning streak? I bet you don't even know what it's like to...fail. That confidence is..."
"Shut up." He snaps while slamming his fist against the wall of the next stage.
Is that really what people think about him?
Everyone puts him up on a pedestal, treats him like he is so damn untouchable, but he never once asked to be regarded so highly. Spending time with people, helping them solve their problems, and building social links—each activity strikes him as being something normal. Without those endeavors in his daily life, the world just loses its luster and steals away his understanding of what it means to be a person.
Didn't others agree?
Those bonds make him human. And without them he is just...empty like a blank canvas. The ultimate persona, the highest compliment a human can ever receive, is the knowledge that you created bonds that will last eternally. Connections with various types of people that are untainted by destructive elements like hate and selfishness. Nothing has changed in the root of his persona, the craving to hold on and to make another eternal bond is raging violently inside him. The chosen one he fights for is the one he can never give up on.
Why couldn't that alone be understood?
"Come on, it must be so...painful by now. You're used to getting it whenever you want, right?"
"You've thought about it, haven't you? What it would be like to...get off with some girl."
"They're so frail though... it's like one thrust might shatter them to pieces. And yet, you've thought about it...when you're with your classmates."
"So many social links, so little time, right?"
Rolling his eyes in exasperation, the masquerading warrior grits his teeth while listening to the pensively familiar voice echoing throughout the narrow hallways paved with tiles in front of him. White walls, checker pattern floors, and three mirroring paths existed in the space beyond the lucky door. Groaning, a glimpse of fatigue ghosts over his features before being suppressed behind a neat mask of indifference.
"Any of those girls would spread their legs for you. They don't even know what it would be like, but you're like a god of sex to them."
"I wonder what they would say, how their faces would contort with disgust, if they realized that you're more of a plain-Jane type of man. Though you're not chasing skirts, now are you?"
"You would rather pin down a more endowed lover; one with a lot of fight and passion."
"Is it just for the thrill, just for the challenge, or do you really want such a lover?"
"Is it temporary?"
Ignoring the continuous murmurs, a thoughtful quirk draws a finger to tap against his chin while pondering the three routes. Unlike the disregard shown in picking between the doors, this time the stakes felt high enough to make him consider things intelligently. Plus, in contrast, something about this place always makes him more attentive to passageways. Doors are open and close, but these paths could go on forever without the slightest hint of infinity. Routes could merge into each other and turn things in the opposite direction of where someone wants to go.
Just what is the requirement this time to beat the stage?
"How dare you ignore me! You know, without me, you could end up lost in here forever?"
"Left, right, or center—aren't you curious in knowing which one is the right one?"
"Then you should listen to me!"
"I know you. I know you're nearly at your breaking point. You crave, lust, yearn for that sensation."
"Admit it!"
"But you can't have it. You'll be lost here, because you just couldn't accept how futile this is."
"To choose such a lover, aren't you insane?"
"Enemies should fight like enemies! Or have you never taken this seriously? Is it too close to home, perhaps? Have you never regarded him as the enemy?"
"What a joke!"
"Is it so humorous? Every part of my body wants the passion of having him be mine forever. Isn't that love? Isn't that worth all this madness? If you want to label me a sadistic then isn't that what I am? You know me; you know I want to possess him, to make him accept me. I don't need to deny anything. I have shown him who I am." Souji shouts in retaliation, as a strange look of satisfaction crosses onto his features. "You really have pointed out the right direction, haven't you?
In every confrontation between the two of them, especially during the last battle, hasn't the route always been one with limitless crossroads? There is always that voice leading down into the wrong direction, tempting him with victory only to snatch it away, but the truth is that it merely seems conclusive. The entire game is a deceptive puzzle demanding to be solved. That voice screams go this way and that way, yet the one shouting wants to be found out or else there is no meaning.
During their investigations who continued to share private information about the case with them? Who didn't just keep silent and keep interactions with them to a minimum?
At every single end that voice keeps shout in its own manner how much it wants to be found. Thus—neither route is the right route yet every route is the right route. Any selection will lead him directly to where he wants to go. Just pick one and follow through to the finish.
With that in mind, Souji chooses the right passageway to travel downward. As he proceeds the hallway widens out slightly transforming the structure bound to open up to him soon enough, as the shade of radiance brightening his choice fades into the creeping void. Locked in the abyss of blackness, a tiny dot of luminescence remains drawing him closer. Reaching out towards the brightness, smooth fabric brushes against his fingertips. Gripping the texture firmly, the barrier is tugged away to leave him bathed in a piercing glow.
"Our sexy champion has arrived on stage! Can I get a round of applause for his resilience? Any lesser man would have just shredded his pants and taken care of the problem!"
Grinding his teeth in further irritating, rekindling from the previous exchange, Souji tries raising his palm over his eyes to shield against the unrelenting radiance glaring him directly in the eyes. However, as if finally taking pity on him, the shine dims to the dual luminescence of massive stage lights positioned above him on either side. One scan of the new area leaves him spiraling in bewilderment as he realizes the role he is being made to portray and the impact of the Ringmaster's words from before:
|"The main attraction has arrived. Time to begin the show!"|
{Part One End}
A/N: You're here! Thanks for reading to the end. Have a good day.