Chapter 1 – Alone (Laurel's POV)

SPOILER WARNING - This takes place during episode 2x21 City of Blood (US airdate of 4/30/14). There are references and spoilers throughout so read at your own risk!

AN – This was originally posted as Chapter 7 of my series A Woman of Distinction. Feel free to skip ahead to Oliver's POV in Chapter 2 if you read this one already! If you haven't, pls understand that this is from Laurel's POV and I don't think she would bash herself as I would so it's fairly nice! :) Don't worry though, I always include a Team Arrow and Olicity spin!

DISCLAIMER – Standard legal jargon still in place as I write without ownership or profit!

I asked for a moment alone with Ollie and both Felicity and Mr. Diggle left us - I needed to reconnect, I needed to reach him, I needed him to understand that I know, that I am still part of him. I wasn't lying when I said I know him, I do. Despite Sara, despite the Arrow, I do still feel like I know him. Ollie is more like the dream man I fell in love with, the man I thought would be my husband, the father of my children. I was in love with an image of a future Ollie though as he wasn't that man then, when he slept with my sister, when he disappeared on the Gambit.

He is that man now though - he's a hero and I love him. Despite Sara, despite the Arrow, I do still love him. I love the man he has become, the man I always saw in him. What I didn't see, couldn't have foreseen was what it would take for him to become that man. Once upon a time, I thought I was enough...once upon a time, I didn't know about Sara, about them.

It broke my heart to see that Ollie and Sara had a connection that left me out. It broke my heart to see him turn to her, see her turn to him when both of them shut me out. That was when I hit rock bottom - that's also when I started to reclaim my life though. I took control again and I did what was necessary.

I even learned to accept them. She is my sister, and, well, he's my Ollie. I was happy for them, really, I was. Now though, I'm not sure I can accept this. I don't know if I can accept their partnership, I'm not sure I can be happy for him when I'm all alone.

"It started with the three of us and it's time to get back to that."

That's what Ollie said when they left to fight Slade, when they left to save Starling City. It was always my dream to make a difference in the city - a dream Ollie had mocked as he was the consummate trust fund kid playing at life. He wanted no responsibilities and he had no ambition but I had enough for the both of us, wanted it enough for the both of us. I saw our entire future, I planned our entire future...he has become the man I wanted but he did it without me.

I asked for a moment alone with Ollie but now I realize I was never really alone with him, I doubt Sara was either and maybe that's why she left. It's the three of them now, together. "Partners" was the word Mr. Diggle used when I went to them and I can see that now. I watched as they planned in half sentences, as they moved as a single unit, as they stared looks that spoke volumes, as they shared personal space and small touches – it was a connection that again left me out.

"It started with the three of us and it's time to get back to that."

Ollie's words keep replaying in my head. He said he wanted to keep me safe, needed me to be safe, and my heart sped up at his declaration until I realized what was left unsaid. He didn't say that he needed me. He made it clear that he needs them though, he didn't consider doing this without them – they are part of who he is now.

I would like to think I could accept their partnership and maybe I could it that is all it was but there's more. There's her - Felicity Smoak. I remember being drunk at Verdant one night that now seems like forever ago. I had gone there hoping to see Ollie and he came when Thea called as I knew he would. However, she was there too. I had thought I saw her first but now I have to wonder if he didn't already know she was there. I even joked that night that I could be his secretary if he got rid of her. I didn't understand the connection then but I do now and I know he won't ever leave her.

It's not just the Team, the salvation of the city that calls to him. It's her too. He may not know it yet, they may not acknowledge it yet but it's there. The three of them are bonded together but there are other bonds holding Oliver to Felicity, holding her to him.

There is love there. Beyond the physical, the emotional, it's love that just is. True, pure, steadfast. It's acceptance, it's trust, it's support, it's intimacy. Often when I talk to Ollie he looks past me or down to the ground and he does that sometimes with Mr. Diggle too – it's just who Ollie is. At least it's who I thought he was but anytime Felicity steps in front of him he looks into her eyes. Even if he glances briefly away his eyes are always drawn back to her. They actually gaze into one's eyes like characters in a stupid romantic movie. As much as I wanted to be that person for him, I'm not. They have a connection that leaves me out.

He has become the man I always knew he could be but it's not the same as I dreamed. I could have had a future with my Ollie - I could have been part of his efforts to save the city, part of his duty to make a difference. I can't have a future with this Oliver though, she's already part of him and he won't ever let go. I can help the Arrow, I can remain friends with Ollie but I'm not on his team and I'm not his partner. She is.

They have each other and I'm alone.