Chapter 1: An Idea
This birthday was going to be extra special, even though it wasn't Sheldon's. Sheldon had been extra cranky this week, because he felt ousted at work. He'd heard that the University was considering Kripke over him for tenure, and he wasn't the happiest camper at Camp for Jesus, per say. And, as he usually did, he took it out on the people around him, especially his girlfriend, Amy. Even he had realized he'd crossed a line when he criticized her most recent paper on the hyper conductivity between motor neurons in the extremities. She'd gotten really quiet, that way she did when she was angry, and hadn't come to see him. And, in his reckless anger, he didn't care.
When the results of the tenure pick came out the next day, Sheldon had been relieved. Kripke hadn't gotten the job, but nor did he. Neither did Leonard, but Sheldon told him that he hadn't expected him to, just to be a little mean. After all, if he didn't deserve it, who did? Koothrappali hadn't gotten it either, and Sheldon didn't make any remarks to him. As for Wolowitz, well, he wasn't even considered for tenure, because he didn't have a PhD. Sheldon was happy that none of them gotten it, because none of them deserved it, he thought. They were driving home from work that day, Sheldon smirking to himself that neither Kripke nor Leonard had won the tenure. There was silence in the car, because Sheldon didn't like music. He said it was because he didn't want to be mistaken for a gang member, but that wasn't true. He hated music because he always knew when his father was drunk and mad as hell when he came home because he'd hear the music pouring from the car like juice out of a blender. Sheldon spotted an ad on the side of the road for the movie 'Home'. A little purple alien peeped out from the poster, with a cat on its head and a bewildered look on its face. Sheldon began musing upon the movie, and while he wondered how hard Leonard would cry at the end, Leonard broke the silence. "You know, Sheldon, you should apologize to Amy." Sheldon cringed. He didn't want to talk about it at all, because, even though he knew he was awful at determining emotions, he had made her angry. Really angry.
Sheldon snorted. "Why? I didn't say anything that was untrue. Unlike you, Leonard, I do not give out apologies when they are not deserved." Leonard shook his head, and sighed deeply, as if letting out all of his frustration in a single breath.
"You criticized her paper and said it was worthless, Sheldon! She's spent almost all of her life pursuing this kind of fame, and you dismissed it with a few words."
Sheldon sighed. "A few, Leonard? No. Exactly 553 words." Leonard rolled his eyes and continued driving in silence. Sheldon paused. He was irritated with Leonard. What gave him the right to tell him what to do? Sheldon turned sharply to him. "Fine. I'll call her, and I'll apologize, just to prove that she's NOT angry. Okay?"
They got back to the apartment, and Sheldon turned on his computer and prepared his video call. Leonard dropped his bag on the couch, declared he was going to Penny's for a drink, and made to leave, but Sheldon stopped him. "You put your bag in my spot, Leonard." Leonard clenched his jaw and moved the bag to the right, and slammed the door behind him. Sheldon shook his head. Leonard should really be more careful with their apartment. After all, doors didn't come cheap nowadays. Sheldon sat back in his office chair and opened up Skype. He called Amy at her contact, 'QuilterGirl31415'. As the computer dialed, Sheldon smirked at the name, a clever reference to pi. He expected her to pick up immediately. Nothing happened. The computer just kept ringing. After about 2 minutes, the Skype screen asked him to leave a message, as there was no answer. Sheldon was absolutely stunned. Amy always answered, always! Had he really made her THAT mad? He typed in a message. 'Are you mad at me, Amy?', careful to properly capitalize and use proper punctuation. Maybe she would be so impressed by his proper grammar that she would stop being mad.
Sheldon eventually did get a response, but it took so long that he got distracted from his work and started playing Age of Conan online. Sheldore and his ostrich were looking good. He was preoccupied in working out a deal with a half – orc hero in regards to a rare enchanted beech bow, when a notification popped up in the corner of his screen. Amy had responded! Sheldon eagerly clicked it, and was disappointed with the answer. She'd only said 'yes'. She didn't even capitalize it! Sheldon typed in another message. 'Why didn't you answer immediately? I'm an experimental physicist, not a hippie waiting around for the next lovemail!' Sheldon didn't have to wait long this time. Amy responded in almost under a minute, 'Because I'm mad, Sheldon. People aren't as inclined to respond to your requests if you're not nice.' Sheldon was stunned. She really WAS mad! He hurriedly typed in his response. 'What did I do?'. 'Think about it, Sheldon.'
Sheldon did try to think about it. He tried anything to understand what was wrong. He'd assumed that the paper thing had passed – perhaps it was about the way he ate? Perhaps she was hungry, perhaps she had a bad day.. Oh! It must have been when he'd ridden the bus to her lab unannounced, and he'd broken her thermometer. Yes, that must have been it. But wait, he'd said sorry and she said that's okay…
Leonard came home from Penny's to find Sheldon sitting forlornly on the couch, playing with his 16 – square Rubik's cube, the advanced version of the original 9. He'd been sitting there, contemplating Amy's anger, and had been trying to beat his various times. He'd come up with 8.79 seconds, .23 better than his last time, but he was trying to get better. Leonard came home from Penny's to find Sheldon, sitting dejected and alone, holding the Rubik's cube and his hand timer in his lap. Leonard paused. "Are you still moping about Amy?"
Sheldon shifted. "She's mad at me, Leonard, and I don't know how to make it better."
Leonard frowned. "Since when have you, of all people, tried to make another person besides yourself happy?"
Sheldon glared at him. "Since I found out, Leonard, that I love her, maybe even more than I love my spot!"
Leonard raised his eyebrows, and sat down in the adjacent armchair. "That's hot," he replied, with a little smirk on his face. Sheldon glowered at him, not getting the joke. Leonard's expression became more serious. "You should make it up to her, Sheldon."
Sheldon sneered. "Oh, yes, duchess, and how would I do that?"
Leonard scowled. "Maybe you could be nicer to someone who's trying to help you?" Sheldon shrugged and looked at him expectantly. Leonard took a deep breath. "You know, her birthday is coming up. Girls love it when you do nice things for them, on their birthdays."
Sheldon leaned forward, interested. "What are you proposing?"
"Give her flowers or something. You remember when you bought her that tiara? She loved it. Do something like that."
Sheldon smiled. A brilliant, brilliant plan had formed in his mind. "Thank you, Leonard." He stood up and walked out of the room, leaving his stunned roommate, frozen in shock. He went to his room and closed the door. He picked up his phone and shuffled through the contacts. He was going to need to make a call.