"Seth, baby. Take me back pleasus."
"Graulas, you wilted lettuce, you did not just mix the world 'please' with 'Jesus'," sighed Seth, the adventurous Shadow Charmer ex-boyfriend of the demon Graulas. "I'm not gonna ever take you back never. You smell like gross fruit and last time we were together you tried to touch my butt in front of Bracken, and he wouldn't look at me for a week."
"But I love you," the ugly goat demon pleaded.
"Big Papa G might heart Baby Sethwee, but Baby Sethwee don't heart Big Papa G," Baby Seth-y had to turn away to avoid showing Big Papa G his tears of coolness.
Graulas gasped. "Small Young Seth-y Poops! You can't mean it!"
"Oh, but Fat Goat, I do. I have a new boyfriend now."
"Who?" Graulas placed a hoof on his chest, taken aback that his Poopy-Bum could leave him for someone else.
"His name is Broadhoof and I love him!"
"BUT BROADHOOF DIED IN THE THIRD BOOK YOU DIRTY YELLOW HIGHLIGHTER!"
"Yeah but I, like, totally slayed you awesomely in the fifth book, so obviously canon matters nothing in crackverse."
"You lie through your pants," Seth's gorilla baby said, scooping him up in his arms.
"Shh, baby," Seth said, placing his finger to Gra-Gra's lips. "G-mama Ruthie don't approve."
Graulas smiled sweetly with his nasty fish lips and swallowed Seth whole. Happily ever after.