Title: Selfish
Author: moonfairyhime
Rating: T, minor swearing
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
Summary: Sam reflects on what Dean told him and thing that Dean doesn't know.
Feedback: I'd really appreciate it.
Author's Notes: This is written in Sam's POV. As a companion piece to "Faith", there are slight spoilers for the episode. Also, this is un-beta'ed.
Dean was right about me being a selfish bastard and I'll readily admit to that. I just want to know if there is anything wrong about wanting him to live. Is there anything wrong with me wanting to live?
I knew what would happen if Dean left me. I knew what would happen because I saw what would happen. I had a vision one of the nights that Dean was in the hospital, and I'll die before I ever let Dean know what I saw. I saw what would have happened to me if Dean had… if Dean had died.
I was okay at first. I cremated Dean and then scattered his ashes on a lonely highway. After that, I took the Impala and continued hunting. I kept looking for the thing that killed mom and Jessica. I lasted two weeks before They came for me. They meaning every single evil thing: poltergeists, skin walkers, shape shifters, ghosts, types of creatures we had fought against before and creatures I had never seen before began to attack. They all claimed to want the powers I don't understand. At first, I was fine. I defeated everything one at a time, but I was being slowly worn down. Then He came, the thing that killed mom and Jessica. A thing made out of shadows, and although I tried to look for some distinguishing mark, I couldn't find anything but darkness and evil. I tried everything I could think of kill him, and nothing would work. He then grasped my neck and began to slowly drain my power from me.
Dad arrived just in time to see Him rip apart my body piece by piece, taking a sword to my heart before tearing off my head.
It wasn't the way I wanted to die, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that my vision would come true if I didn't save Dean. So I hope that Someone forgives me for being a selfish bastard and doing what I had to do, for I saved not one life, but two.